Marriage problems

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
N

naomibelieves

Guest
#1
#1
I am born again, and i really love it. Glory be to God! I have seen a lot of miracles God has performed for me in times of trouble, when i needed help with school, and work.
Howeever, right now, I have a very difficult situation in my family. My husband stopped coming home, i was calling his cell phone, and he was rejecting my phone calls. In a week, he showed up and said that he needs time to think, said that i was too controlling.
It was a shock for me, as we've been happily married for 5 years and we have a son. We became separated, where he does not even help me financially nor emotionally. He said he committed adultry with a girl at work...
He asked for forgiveness, and when i forgave him, he said that he can't trust me, he needs time to think. I am tired of him changning his mind. My husband refuses to go to church, he says he can solve evrything himself. It's been over 6 months now.
Yesterday i removed a wedding band from my finger.I don't want to get discouraged, and may be somebody can pray with me for God to reveal the truth to my husband about marriage and commitment, and for me to stay patient.
Thank you. God bless!
 
S

SeekinHIM

Guest
#2
#2
Dear, naiomibelieves,

Wow, first of all I can't believe no one has responded to your request.................How sad, I just wanted to say, I will stand with you and pray, and watch GOD put your marriage back together............how old is your son? He must be struggling as well.............I am praying. Please do not give up on GOD............He is able to do far above all we could ask or think..............FATHER, IN THE NAME OF JESUS, WE AGREE AS TO TOUCHING THIS MARRIAGE RIGHT NOW..............FATHER WE ASK YOU TO SPEAK TO YOUR SON, Naomi's husband and capture his attention, remind him of the committment he made before YOU..............FATHER, I ASK YOU TO SPOIL ALL FLESHLY PLEASURE THAT HE MAY SEEK WHILE IN THIS CONDITION, I BIND THE SPIRIT OF BLINDNESS, THAT IS TRYING TO DESTROY THIS MARRIAGE.................SPEAK TO YOUR SON, FATHER, WOO HIM BACK TO HIS BRIDE AND THEIR SON...............POUR OUT YOUR CONVICTION OF SIN, THROUGH THE PRECIOUS HOLY SPIRIT, WHICH WILL LEAD HIM AND GUIDE HIM INTO ALL TRUTH.............RESTORE, RESTORE, RESTORE ALL THAT THE THIEF TRIED TO STEAL, KILL AND DESTROY...........REBUKE THE DEVOURER.............WE AGREE IN THIS TIME BEFORE YOU ABBA, FATHER, WE AGREE AS TO TOUCHING THIS MARRIAGE, PAPA, JESUS SAID IN THE GOSPEL'S, IF 2 OR MORE OF YOU AGREE AS TO TOUCHING ANYTHING, ON EARTH, IT SHALL BE DONE OF YOU, FATHER IN HEAVEN..............

FATHER, YOUR WORD DECLARES TO US, THAT IT WILL NOT COME BACK TO YOU VOID, BUT WILL ALWAYS ACCOMPLISH THAT WHICH YOU SENT IT FORTH TO DO...................WE AGREE ON THIS AND STAND ON IT IN THE NAME OF JESUS, YOUR ONLY BEGOTTEN SON...............AMEN.

Naomi,

Please, as the time moves forward, do not get discouraged............just refer to this prayer, agree with me and continue to REMIND THE FATHER...........REMEMBER the woman in Scripture that had a problem and went to the judge in that region............The Word says that this judge NEITHER FEARED GOD OR REGARDED MAN AS IMPORTANT............ONLY HIMSELF......Well the woman kept bugging him until he gave in, and dealt with the issue.............Let this be your stance........#1 - THIS IS NOT LIKE OUR HEAVENLY FATHER..............HE LONGS TO MOVE ON OUR BEHALF, BECAUSE OF WHAT JESUS DID FOR US.............HE IS PLEASED WITH US, WE ARE HIS SONS AND DAUGHTERS NOW............

#2 - FATHER GOD IS A JUST GOD, AND HE LOVES JUSTICE, ESPECIALLY WHEN WE REMIND HIM OF HIS PERFECT SON'S SACRIFICE ON OUR BEHALF, DO NOT WORRY, I BELIEVE (and agree with me...........) That the HOLY SPIRIT is already moving on your husband.......

I will continue to pray for your family...........

SeekinHIM
 
joint-heir

joint-heir

Banned
#3
Dec 21, 2009
538
1
0
55
#3
As a man myself I know we tend to walk away from things thinking that it looks better in the new path we are travelling
to eventually stop and look back and realize what a horrible mistake we have made.
Unfortunately many times when we find ourselves and come to this revelation
that we have devastatedly made the biggest mistake of our lives; it is generally more than too late.
For a woman can only wait soo long before she has either healed or grown hardened
and then wants nothing to do with that man who has walked out on her and left her.

My best advice to you
EITHER
choose now to wait however long it takes until he decides he has made the wrong choice
and then wants to come back
OR
SEEK GOD and find out if GOD has a new direction for you.

I am not proposing divorce by any means
BUT
he has committed ADULTERY
which
is ACCEPTABLE unto GOD to allow a divorce

BUT
YOU
YOURSELF
HAS TO KNOW
WITHIN YOURSELF
1000%
WHAT IT IS
THAT YOU WANT
THEN
SEEK GOD ABOUT THAT DECISION
AND IF YOU FEEL GOD AGREES
DO IT
 
S

sunshine_debbie

Guest
#4
#4
naomibelieves said:
I am born again, and i really love it. Glory be to God! I have seen a lot of miracles God has performed for me in times of trouble, when i needed help with school, and work.
Howeever, right now, I have a very difficult situation in my family. My husband stopped coming home, i was calling his cell phone, and he was rejecting my phone calls. In a week, he showed up and said that he needs time to think, said that i was too controlling.
It was a shock for me, as we've been happily married for 5 years and we have a son. We became separated, where he does not even help me financially nor emotionally. He said he committed adultry with a girl at work...
He asked for forgiveness, and when i forgave him, he said that he can't trust me, he needs time to think. I am tired of him changning his mind. My husband refuses to go to church, he says he can solve evrything himself. It's been over 6 months now.
Yesterday i removed a wedding band from my finger.I don't want to get discouraged, and may be somebody can pray with me for God to reveal the truth to my husband about marriage and commitment, and for me to stay patient.
Thank you. God bless!
Click to expand...
Well I can certainly pray for you, and I am starting to think there should be a club of women on this chat site who are facing the same situation. There are so many of them now. I dont know what is happening in Christian marriages today that the men (and women) are just walking away. They know that it is against what God wants. They know they are wrong, and yet they do it anyway. This is a serious problem. Please find it in your heart to forgive your husband for what he is doing. This does not mean to go back or let him come back, just pray for forgiveness and I will pray for you as well. You might want to try and connect with some of the women on here who are in a similar situation.

Debbie
 
N

naomibelieves

Guest
#5
#5
Dear SeekHIM,

It was a blessing to have read and prayed your prayer and words of support for me. I am very grateful to our Father for using you to reveal a simple but very powerful, and encouraging thing to me: Father God is A just God. Amen to that! Indeed, God is a very very Just God, and i know that as my husband's lover was already deported out of the country, and things are happening to my husband, not that i want anything bad happen to him, but God is using any tools necessary to awaken my husband toward HIM. Lord is wonderful, in the beginning HE CREATED our marriage, and He can see the end of it, and i know that Lord creates perfect things, that is why i know that my marriage will stand. All I need is more patience.
Thank you,
God bless,
Naomi
 
N

naomibelieves

Guest
#6
#6
Dear joint-heir,

It was very important for me to hear a man's perspective in this situation. Thank you for pointing out these two options for me. As a matter of fact, all of my relatives are encouraging me to get divorced, but it just does not seem right to go against what was created by our Father, although i can be justified through church. Just as you said a 1000% of me wants not divorce, but reconciliation. I am constantly seeking Lord for support in my decision, and praying for my husband to see and realize how he has hurt me, and God to remove any walls between us.

Thank you.
Naomi
 
N

naomibelieves

Guest
#7
#7
Dear Sunshine_debbie,

I absolutely love your idea about the club, as it is true that marriages are being tempted, the same way as the 1st marriage was. And the idea of having a supporting and determined to help you company(club) is very important for emotional support. For example, most of my Christian friends tell me to forget about my husband, and find a new man. That's not the way of suppport i want to receive. Instead, just the way you said, i need to remind myself that i chose to forgive my husband. And if after repentance our sins our sins are being forgiven, why can't I forgive my husband, the father of my son, and my best friend? Everything is possible through him.
I will be happy to become a mamber of the online marriage support club.
Thank you.
 
W

Wootie

Guest
#8
#8
Father God, two or more of us are gathered together to pray for a rebinding of this marriage through the power of Christ Jesus. We ask that all pleasures of cheating and abandonment of this man's family be turned against him. We thank You for restoration! Most of all, we ask that this family understand that what was onced joined together has been separated and it will not be easy to rejoin the two halves. TOTAL FORGIVENESS BY BOTH will have to take place! Amen.

It CAN be done, I know because my husband and I have been through it. God helped us come through it, but you HAVE TO FORGIVE AND LET IT GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
N

naomibelieves

Guest
#9
#9
Dear Wootie,

your words give me HOPE. And your payer expresses true things that need to happen. In pray and i believe. In Jesus name. Amen.

Blessings.
Naomi
 
J

jesus_be4_religion

Guest
#10
#10
This is your husband and he tells you after he has already cheated and left for long periods of time that you are too controlling. This guy does not want a wife he wants a free relationship. You need to leave him you deserve better. I am speaking from a guys perspective he is cheating on you still. Infidelity is biblically grounds for divorce and you are not held accountable he is. I will pray that if he is cheating on you that you come to realize it so you can get rid of this sore excuse for a husband.
 
S

SeekinHIM

Guest
#11
#11
Dear Naomi,

You have all of the patience that you need..........QUITE SIMPLY, becuase CHRIST Lives inside of you.............All you need to do is start declaring OUTLOUD, "LORD, I can't do this, I have NO power in and of myself.................I surrender to You LORD, Take over...........

This is the SURRENDER that GOD wants, please remember, we in an of ourselves, do not have the attributes that HE does, and this is one of the reasons why HE MOVED INSIDE OF US..................Is to show us HOW to let HIM LIVE THROUGH US.................

Read my post called, WHY WE STILL STRUGGLE...............It's on page 4 of the BIBLE DISCUSSION page.........That's part 1 (it may be on 5 soon because many studies, posts are added daily) The next one is same title, Part 2 it was on page 2 this morning...........Tuesday the 26th.

Resting in CHRIST is not just an option, it is the ONLY way to truly have victory in all things................remember, We are MORE than Conquorers THROUGH CHRIST JESUS...Romans 8:37

Precious , this is not a call from GOD to fight like crazy, because "we are more than conquorers................It
 
S

SeekinHIM

Guest
#12
#12
Precious,

Sorry, I hit a button while typing and it sent the previous message unfinished.................The devil is a liar...........Anyway, here is the rest...........


READ IT FROM THE WORD "IT" ON THE PREVIOUS PAGE....................It is a statement from GOD to us, that we can't do anything with Eternal significance WITHOUT CHRIST DOING IT THROUGH US.................You have heard these Scriptures before:

JESUS said--- "Without ME you can do nothing............

JESUS said--- "If you try to find your life you will lose it, but if you lose your life FOR MY SAKE, you shall find it.................

In other words, so many of us waste years TRYING TO FIGURE OUT LIFE (find).........Instead of completely surrendering to CHRIST and letting HIM do all things through us........(for my sake)

BACK TO THAT PATIENCE YOU MENTIONED---- "The fruit of the SPIRIT, is love, joy peace,PATIENCE, kindness, goodness, faithfullness, gentleness, and self control..........Galatians 5:22 THIS IS JESUS LIVING INSIDE OF YOU............THAT'S WHY THESE ARE CALLED THE FRUT OF THE SPIRIT

Dear Naiomi---Just srrrender to HIM, and here's the secret............Keep surrendering each and every day of your life, THIS IS THE TRUE WILL OF GOD FOR ALL OF US.............

DON'T FORGET TO CHECK OUT THOSE POSTS, I THINK THEY WILL BE HELPFUL FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND THIS THAT I JUST WROTE


I am praying for you and your husband, be encouraged Sister,

SeekinHIM
 
N

naomibelieves

Guest
#13
#13
Dear SeekHIM,

I have read your post "Why We Still Struggle", and it's a lot to think about. It is a very nice thing to do to surrender, and feel at peace. I definitely have been trying to do it for a while.

Thank you for your support.
 
N

naomibelieves

Guest
#14
#14
Hi jusus_be4_religion,

How are you? Thank you for your input and putting this cold reality before me. I realize what you saying, but for some reason i can't accept that God doesn't want his will be done in my marriage. And that fact keeps me going and praying for my husband. You helped me understand that our marriage is not going to be healed soon, because of his behavior, but eventually God will hear my prayer.

God Bless.
 
Y

yoej_ogart

Guest
#15
#15
Ohhhh man, he sounds EXACTLY like my real dad and you EXACTLY like my mom. So first of all, I encourage you deeeeeeeeply.. to pray hard that your husband doesn't continue this path and that He sees Jesus. If this praying hasn't or doesn't work soon.. that means God has a plan already for you two. My mother married my real dad, they were happy and all.. but after a few years he started leaving home, having affairs, stopped helping us financially, was never home for me and my brother nor mom, it took my mom 15 years.. to finally have the guts to get away. He told her atfirst she was controlling too and that he needed to think. I've watched my mom get both physically and virtually abused by this man. I've seen her hurt and lonely all these years, I don't want another godly woman to be hurt and tormented and abandoned like my mom was... So I will most definitely be praying for you and your husband. I may be young, but the way I grew up made me independent, and growing with God lately made me wise. So I tell you this; if things end up going well again.. be careful and keep praying for his faith. or if things remain this way..pray and ask God to have His way with your marriage.. don't ask Him to bless it or to kill your marriage.. because He may have a plan for each of you whether it's together or not. Trust me on this.. So many times my mom tried telling him about God and love and commitment.. but he didn't do squat.. so she finally divorced him. he went crazy on us last year:/ but guess what! She married again! God gave her the strength to carry on and believe that love exists.. this man loves me and loves her! and now it's time for my real dad to be healed by God and feel the wrath that he was able to escape all these years. I would looove for you to speak with my mom. She would love it too:) Love you sister! God bless:)
 
J

jesus_be4_religion

Guest
#16
#16
Prayer is never wasted because it always glorifies God but you are setting yourself up for more pain. If he still is not coming home the chances are that he could be wanting to have his cake and eat it too. In that case tell him the bakery is closed lol just kidding but really how much can you take.Don't let this seperate you from God by unforgiveness or by wanting him more then spending time with God. Thats why often in the case of infidelity if the person does not prove they are sorry by genuine repentance, which your man has not, divorce is usually the best case scenario.
 
C

charm1110

Guest
#17
#17
naomibelieves,

I will pray for your reconciliation with your husband. I too as you know am having some marital problems and understand the feelings of loneliness, rejection, abandonment. I Hope you know that while God doesn't want marriage to end in divorce there are times when it may be the only real option like joint- heir said in cases of adultery and abuse where no real repentance is involved. I have thought about divorcing my wife many times but I love her and my children and will do everything I can to avoid having to do that. That being said you should know that our God wants us to be happy and in his will at all times ( I certainly struggle there), If your husband doesn't come home then you need to save yourself and not condone his sins by allowing it to continue.

May God Bless You and your Son in this trying time.
 
N

naomibelieves

Guest
#18
#18
Dear joint-heir,oyej_ogart, and charm 1110,

I took it as a blessing to have read your replies, as it is wonderful to hear what other Christians or people who believe in God have to say on this matter. I am thankful to God He hasgiven me such an opportunity to hear stories that there are other families that go through difficulties, and trials and i am not an exeption.

Blessings,

Naomi
 
You must log in or register to reply here.