What would you say?

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cmarieh

Guest
#1
#1
I was reading an article from a local news website and it was explaining how a middle school student was asking others to sign a suicide pact. A student came home from school telling their parent that they signed it and the parents later reported it to authorities and apparently the person who came up with this said it was a joke. I know that suicide is wrong and will send that person straight to hell and you never joke about something like that. I am not married or have kids, but my question to you is what would you say to your child if they came home from school saying they signed or saw a suicide pact? Assume it has been reported to authorities and they are doing all that they can do. I don't want this thread to get argumentative, but with the suicide rates so high today it is something to really think about.
 
santuzza

santuzza

Senior Member
#2
Feb 12, 2013
1,609
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#2
Well, I don't have kids, so perhaps I'm not the best to answer, but I would take it very seriously and use the moment to teach the child about suicide. I would also take them out of that school and home school them (which is probably how I would start in the first place anyway!).
 
Joidevivre

Joidevivre

Senior Member
#3
Jul 15, 2014
3,838
271
83
#3
Having raised 5 children, I would first of all talk to my child who came home and mentioned it. I would ask them their thoughts on suicide, how serious was the person who started the pact, and if they signed, what were their feelings as they did so.

Best thing to do is get them talking to you. And listen without responding or judging until they have said everything. Then if you are a mother who has been in tune with your child you will know what to say. Obviously if they told you, there probably would be a good relationship or else it could be a cry for one.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#4
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
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#4
Unfortunately, suicide pacts between kids (and even adults) happen all too often. Some think it's funny or just a joke, and chicken out when it gets down to actually going through with it.. Others see it through to the end..either way, it's sad..
 
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zaoman32

Guest
#5
#5
If it were my kids I would probably assume it was a joke, just because I know they carry my sense of humor, but I would still ask them why to make sure, and let them know it's probably something that shouldn't be joked about so carelessly.

I personally don't take a lot of things with a measure of gravity because I feel like the more we draw attention to something, be it negative or positive, the more people are going to be appealed to it. I think that's the reason bullying is such a big issue and depression rates are so high. People want kids to have less of a sense of humor and be more serious all the time, so rather than taking things with a light heart they take them personally, and it's damaging.
 
H

Human

Banned
#6
Oct 30, 2014
1,150
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0
#6
cmarieh said:
I was reading an article from a local news website and it was explaining how a middle school student was asking others to sign a suicide pact. A student came home from school telling their parent that they signed it and the parents later reported it to authorities and apparently the person who came up with this said it was a joke. I know that suicide is wrong and will send that person straight to hell and you never joke about something like that. I am not married or have kids, but my question to you is what would you say to your child if they came home from school saying they signed or saw a suicide pact? Assume it has been reported to authorities and they are doing all that they can do. I don't want this thread to get argumentative, but with the suicide rates so high today it is something to really think about.
Click to expand...
I'd probably sit them down and talk to them about suicide, figure out if it's just a joke, and if it is, try not to take it too seriously. I'd certainly let them know it's something that happens to people when they are no longer able to cope, I'd reassure them that I would do my best to understand, that if they ever felt like they couldn't cope they had a safe space with me to talk, that there is lots of help available and if they rather not talk to me then they could talk to a friend or another family member, or even see a counsellor, call someone anonymous.

Big hug and something warm in the belly afterwards.

I wouldn't get angry about it, I think that's most important.
 
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soccermom19

Guest
#7
#7
If it were my kids, I would talk to them about it without getting mad. Get their feelings. But, I would take it seriously because my sister in law committed suicide. I don't think my kids would sign a suicide pact thinking it was a joke when we have closely known two people who killed themselves. My circumstance is a little different from most.
However, on a separate note, I don't believe that committing suicide will send you to Hell. I believe in eternal salvation. If you are saved, suicide will not make you unsaved.
 
Angela53510

Angela53510

Senior Member
#8
Jan 24, 2011
11,783
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#8
Suicide is a very permanent solution to a temporary problem. This is a form of nihilism, which basically means life means nothing.

I never had this problem with my 4 children. They were all active in school, sports, music and the church. They loved life then, and they still do now. But if one of them told me about this, I would certainly sit down with my husband and the child, and have a good discussion of what God says about choosing life.

I would talk about Jesus, and that he came to bring life, and not death. Really, talk about Jesus lots.

But also probe as to their emotional state. Are they truly depressed, or is this just the latest fade, with horrific consequences? If they are depressed, then I would get them medical help, and really focus on helping them through this valley. If it is a fade, then really get them to work through what it means to the people in the pact, their families, friends, the school and the greater community.

Open communication is the key. I guess I always had that with my children, which is why the issue never came up.
 
M

mystikmind

Guest
#9
#9
When kids begin entering adulthood, that is when emotions can be the most overwhelming, and on top of this, other kids can be so uncompromisingly malicious or manipulating. I went to a pretty bad high school when i was young, it was so bad teachers would regularly take leave with migraines and other stress related ailments, one young boy was even bashed to death at that time i was there, and i suffered such abuse i had almost committed suicide, it was like trying to survive in a herd of wild baboons, No, sorry, that is insulting to baboons!

I would just be thankful it came out in the open, allot of parents who have had kids that committed suicide, had no clue to the hidden pain underneath until it was too late.

Suicide should not be an issue that is taboo and not talked about, lest we forget and end up lacking the vigilance when it counts! Incidents like this are good to serve as a reminder to remain vigilant.
 
T

TaylorTG

Guest
#10
#10
Angela53510 said:
Suicide is a very permanent solution to a temporary problem. This is a form of nihilism, which basically means life means nothing.
Click to expand...
It is only permanent from a physical standpoint.
 
Dan58

Dan58

Senior Member
#11
Nov 13, 2013
1,991
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#11
I'd be more upset with my kid for signing it than I'd be with the moron that presented it to him.
 
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presidente

Senior Member
#12
May 29, 2013
9,091
1,754
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#12
If it were one of my kids, I'd make a very big deal about it. I'd talk to the child to see if he or she was treating it as a joke. If not, I'd focus on the depression issues, which would be a much more complicated thing to talk about and pray about. And there may be some changes that need to be made in the child's life. Maybe seek outside help or whatever.


If the child were treating it as a joke, I'd spend a lot of time with the child on the issue of not making false vows, being honest, etc. If it were a daughter, I'd go to a Deuteronomy passage about fathers cancelling daughter's vows and declare her part of the pact canceled.

I'd probably try to get the school involved and if I knew the parents of the other children's numbers, I'd probably call them about it, too.
 
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Eva1218

Guest
#13
#13
i do have some concerns here one being not all people who have committed suicide will go to hell. That being said it is a very important topic to discuss with all those we love. never know what is going on in someones mind. The enemy satan uses the mind as his playing field and those who do not have the helmet of Salvation will be tormented. First and foremost making sure our children have the helmet of Salvation is a must. If we come across any child or pact seems fit to join it only shows that there are many issues and their inner self is at harm. Bullying is at a high for those who have attempted suicide, lack of love and well being from others and rejections. Pray and love caring for others more than self will put a halt to suicide. Always have open communication no exceptions. And make it known we are to enjoy life not just live it.

Blessings!!!!!!!
 
Percepi

Percepi

Banned
#14
Feb 16, 2014
903
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#14
I have no problem with jokes about suicide, because all jokes will be offensive to someone. Rape jokes used to bother me because I know far too many women who have been raped when they were younger. But, I loosened up after a friend of mine made a rape joke - and she was a victim herself! So, I learned to lighten up about it.

Anyway, that said, when someone passes around a suicide pact, it's definitely something to have the school look into. It's one thing when it's clear something is a joke, but suicide pacts from kids can be quite iffy. Even if it is a joke, which it likely is, are all the children who signed it aware that it's a joke? It's definitely something to be cautious about.
 
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JustAnotherUser

Guest
#15
#15
I would educate them about suicide and why it is a serious subject that is, unfortunately, growing rapidly today. I'd tell them why it is wrong and to not involve themselves in anything of that matter again and have it reported to the staff. The student who started it must know to some degree as to what it is, otherwise they wouldn't have done it even if it is just a joke. You don't know where the joke stemmed from as well and that would also raise a concern/question.

This is assuming that they're around middle school aged, of course. They could be aware as to what suicide is but not know the extent of the subject and how it can impact people. Any older than that would leave me to no question as to whether or not they're ignorant and that they're intentionally making it as a cruel joke that would still be alarming.
 
sandtigeress

sandtigeress

Senior Member
#18
Apr 29, 2013
526
16
18
#18
I would try to talk to my child (I am childless, so take it with a grain of salt).

I think that the main issue is where the pact was coming from and if someone is part of it, that would do the suiside
and that death is not a good joking matter.

But i think one of the main issues in such a matter, is is there a chance that one of the kids involved is really thinking
about ending his/her life and why. Because sometimes one can remove the foreshadow, f.ex. by making the person
understand about god/jesus as a personal saviour. And by removing a suiside inducing factor, f.ex. mobbing (done by
peers or parent or teacher).
 
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