my marriage is in a storm

[alfred1956]

About a year ago my wife told me she was unhappy. We have been married and belonged to the same church for 11 years now. I was raised Catholic, our church is Pentecostal. I always have believed in Christ, but didn't realize I wasn't serving Him. She prayed over me for years for me to find Christ. I thought I was there, but what I didn't realize was I was putting her before Christ. I have always be a good husband and father to our daughter, but my wife is younger than me and started going out partying with her friends. This made me angry and inattentive to her when she came home. I would stay home with our daughter, she'd come home and want to make love but I'd turn my back to her. To me she was not acting like a wife. Last year we got pregnant, but she didn't tell me. She had found a male friend on line and started to confined in him. She had abortion and entered an affair with him. She lied and used me to be with him. When I found out I was devastated. I went to our Pastor and was told that I had never truly had come to Christ. God spoke to me through him. Since then I've given my life to God. The Lord did in time close the door on her affair. But she has been driven by her flesh since. Everything she has do I have forgiven her for. Still she continues to be unfaithful, tells people she's single. I pray over her now. God answered her prayer, now I wait. I need some advise.

 

[tourist]

My advice to you is to tell her to pack her bags and leave.

 

[blue_ladybug]

she's a liar..she's a user.. she is an adulteress.. she is NOT acting christian-like whatsoever. She got pregnant and aborted your baby without even telling you. I hope to heaven you have gotten checked for STD's. You dunno what her or her lover might have.. I would divorce her and turn her over to God. Tourist gave good advice. Tell her to pack her stuff and get the heck out of your life..

 

[levi85]

Lord Jesus, gather this family, bind them with your love.Amen
Lets be inprayer and God will answer .

 

[mystikmind]

There are some similarities to your story and mine, but my wife is divorcing me.

My wife is younger than me, and she likes to party with friends, but i was always happy for her to do that, and she was the one who refused sex to me. Certainly there is no abortion either, that is quite shocking!

I have no clue what it is like to have a wife come home and actually want sex? that situation is completely foreign to me? I know it is not a good feeling to have, but i almost envy men that have cheating wives but the wife still wants the husband as well.... you know, because the woman is 'alive', not a 'dead fish' like mine. Although my wife bought a heap of sexy lingerie on Ebay after telling me it's over, and she NEVER bought that kind of thing the whole time we were married, so it seems that getting rid of me cleared her schedule to think about sex again.

 

[blue_ladybug]

There are some similarities to your story and mine, but my wife is divorcing me.

My wife is younger than me, and she likes to party with friends, but i was always happy for her to do that, and she was the one who refused sex to me. Certainly there is no abortion either, that is quite shocking!

I have no clue what it is like to have a wife come home and actually want sex? that situation is completely foreign to me? I know it is not a good feeling to have, but i almost envy men that have cheating wives but the wife still wants the husband as well.... you know, because the woman is 'alive', not a 'dead fish' like mine. Although my wife bought a heap of sexy lingerie on Ebay after telling me it's over, and she NEVER bought that kind of thing the whole time we were married, so it seems that getting rid of me cleared her schedule to think about sex again.

awww, mystik.. *hug*

 

[mystikmind]

awww, mystik.. *hug*

Thank you, i will pass it on to alfred1956 *hug*

 

[alfred1956]

God's word tells me to love my wife as love myself. When Peter asked Jesus how many times must I forgive he answered 7 times 70 daily. Forgiveness He expects, but he doesn't expect us to forget. If I was still of the world I would be angry and vengeful. The Lord speaks to us all. It is up to us to listen.Yes her actions are not Godly, but He'll leave His flock to chase the sheep that wander. I've prayed for guidance and He spoke to me telling me to stay, that there will be no divorce. To trust in the Lord is what is expected. His will is stronger. Yes it is painful. But all things are possible through Christ.

 

[Joidevivre]

At first I thought you wanted advice - and we gave you some. But here you are telling us that you really already know what the Lord has asked you to do. So now I can only pray that you will continue to hear His direction, and to receive a double portion of His grace to be the husband He has asked you to be.

You will be exercising in greater measure the fruits of the Holy Spirit - forgiveness, long suffering, endurance, patience, hope. The only way you will be able to do without bitterness or anger is to have the fullness of His Spirit alive in you.

I also pray that the Lord will turn her heart towards you - and through this will bring your marriage into a relationship that will be deeper and more loving than it ever has been.


P.S. I hope that you have sincerely looked her in the eyes and told her you were sorry for rebuffing her and for everything you did that made her feel not cared for and loved.

 

[alfred1956]

Yes I have told that I was and am sorry for the times I rebuked her. Since then I've been totally loving towards her. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. It's hard to not see the things around me, even when I know His hand is at work. I did ask for a sign yesterday, Gideon asked for three. He gave me one today. I have no bitterness or anger towards her. At first it surprised me that I didn't, then I realized that His Spirit does reside in me. My concern towards her I address in prayer for her mind, body, spirit, and soul to once again be with the Lord.