Unsure what to do about family

About a year and a half ago, the Lord blessed me by allowing me to do the job of my dream, become a police officer. My brother had been a police officer with the same department, a fairly large one, for about 5 years. As I was going through the hiring process, he got into some trouble and ended up losing his job. He will not talk about it, so I don't know if he was "shafted" as everyone in the family says, or he really did it, as everyone at work says. Anyway, I was never told about this situation until the night before I started our police academy. Over 1,100 people applied for the job, 119 were accepted into the Academy, and only 60 of us graduated, so I beleive God definately had his hand in my getting this job. However, since taking it, my brother has refused to talk to me, and even started rumors around my job with a few officers he still talks to saying I am a dishonest person and things like that. Things that almost cost me my job while I was on probation, because co-workers had a preconceived notion about me that wasn't true. I have talked to my parents, my dad is the Deacon at our Church, and they have tried to help, but to no avail. I have talked to my Pastor, who had me and him and my brother sit down and talk. We both cried and he said he was sorry, but we haven't talked since then, and that was 5 months ago. We used to be so close, were both in the military and hunted together and stuff, but now, we never talk. I try to start conversation, and he just grunts and walks off. I have showed up at Church in uniform some, when I go in at 8:00 and Church starts at 7:00, and he always acts like I am rubbing it in his face. That is not my intentions, I am merely trying to soak up as much Church as possible, because I need all I can get. Another thing is, everyone in my family seems to think I am the bad guy. They act like I am responsible for what happened to him. Never mind that I didn't even work for the Department at the time, and that he is an adult and responsible for his own actions. It just really hurts, because we have always been a very close family, but now it seems I have become an outcast because of my chosen profession. I knew I would probably lose some acquaintences because of my job, people that were uncomfortable having a cop as a friend, but I never expected for my entire family to turn thier back on me. It is very discouraging. I know we are not supposed to be prideful, but sometimes, I just want to hear somebody say they are proud of me. I guess I just needed to vent, and to ask your advice. The Spring and Summer are coming up, and we usually get together a lot as a family. I have only 2 choices. !) Don't go to the get togethers and be outcast even more. 2) Go to them, and be treated like a leper and pushed aside, and watch my wife and kids be shunned, while everyone bends over backwards for him and his family. I know I am supposed to be the bigger person, to turn the other cheek, but I just get tired of doing all the work and never getting anywhere with it. Please, just pray for me and my family. Thank you, and God bless you.

Any comments and all prayers are greatly appreciated. Thanks, and God bless

[maddog_4_ever]

Well to be honest..my family is the black sheep of the family we are shunned by not only my fathers side but my mothers side as well..And just know hes hurt it may take some time to heal..but Also God looks down and smiles when you sucseed He is always proud of you. and for you to make it out of 11 hundred people is pretty impressive and Im am most certianly proud of you my bro in Christ. Just keep the faith and Know that God will see you thru this adversity and I will deffinalty pray for you. also explain to your brother about you showing up in your uniform is to only get in church and you mean nothing hurtful or boastful or rubbing in his face. Leave a voice mail :P if he wont talk in person. I will be praying for you

[Raeshelle]

Christianofficer.. Maybe you could pour out your soul to your brother in a letter.. let him know that you miss the time you share together and that no matter what you love him.. sometimes seeing something written means more to you .. You can tell it is from the heart. Iknow I find that helps alot with me.

Officer, i truly believe that God is with you and your family as you go through this. There are many things in life that tend to, as I say stump us and it seems we cannot figure them out. Cast you cares on the Lord for he truly cares for you and let him guide you through this. If you have time go to utube and type in Jeremy Camp Live Unplugged Walk By Faith....it's about 8 or 9 minutes long, for it's Jeremy's testimony about the inspiration behind the song and then listen to the song....it is truly my belief that we do not go through thngs in life just to go through them. It is a preparation for something that is to come....you will see in the future if you continue to walk by Faith and lean not on your own understanding but in all of yours ways acknowledge Christ. And you can count on very many in this very room to keep you and your family in our thoughts and prayers and the families that have apparently set you and your family aside for the time being. And if you need someone to talk to as well....i am here!
Greg

[thefightinglamb]

I would just like to add what I always add...do whatever the Lord tells you...if He tells you to go to your family and be there as a witness even if they don't like you, then count it as gain in the Lord; if He tells you to consider his own family (the church) your own, and to leave your family for his (which the Bible shows he sometimes (maybe always) will) than do it.

Pray about it with all your heart, and as the previous post said lean not on your own understanding but acknowldge him in all your ways and he will make straight your paths...

Do what the Lord tells/shows you to do, no matter how difficult it is; for how can you be blessed if the Lord shows you what to do and you don't do it!?!?

My physical family is also spiritually hard to deal with...

May God bless you forever with His presence
tony

Father we bring christianofficer before YOUR throne, protect him and his family Lord in all that they do. Lord put the full armor of God upon them and wash them in Your blood JEsus, send YOUR mighty ranks of angels to minister guide and protect Lord. Father we bless those who curse him and his family, bless bless bless them LORD! Father we come against the enemy, and stand on YOUR word, No weapon formed against them shall prosper! Thank YOU Lord that they are children of God, and that YOU have placed this man, where HE can be of service to YOU. We thank YOU for his life, and for those he is called to protect in Your name. Father place a hedge of protection around each of them, thank YOu JESUS!
Lord YOU know what is going on, we bind up jealously, pride and ignorance , in this brother and his family , and we release truth, humility, and all fruits of the spirit! We bind up the lies of the enemy, for whatever is going on. and let truth truth truth reign!
in JESUS name amen!

Hey ChristianOfficer I'm a reserve deputy from Oklahoma. I know how you feel bro. I use to work full time for another agency. Some of the samethings happen to be expect it was with my former partner, what she did to me, force me to resigned from that dept. However I'm reserving at a better department now and I hope to be going full time soon. But a year ago I didn't think I had much of a future in law enforcement. I understand you and your family looking at you different. Its a sad fact of the having the badge. Every will look and treat you different on and off duty. Its hard, but I believe that a true Police Officer is there for a reason that God put you there. Its not an easy profession. My chosen profession as costed me alot of frienships and costed me a very serious relationship with a girl I loved very much. Its not easy to explain to your wife or girlfriend why your getting called back in when you just got off or why you had to cancel a date because you was called back in. Its not easy to explain alot of things you see or do.

When I was depressed last year going through my troubles I found alot of comfort in this verse.

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.


The Bible is full of verses that are good for police officers these are 2 of my favorites that I remember when I feel that my outcasted for my profession to remind me that being a police officer is by God. I don't see how non-christian cops are able to do this job. I couldn't without the Lord.

Mathew 5:9
Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God.


Isaiah 43:2
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.

God Bless you bro. If you want to PM you can. I'll remember you and your family in my prayers.

<><
NS

[imoss]

In our family we had a similar situation where my brotherinlaw & sister in law tried to cause us problems financially due to jealousy. God turned it all around for good for us. Unfortunately, my sister in law is a very good deceiver and had the whole family against us. The awesome thing about telling the truth is you dont have to have a good memory & as her memory fails her supporters dwindle. The only one left is my mother in law. I've stopped defending myself because i didnt like who i was becoming while defensive. The good thing about all of the controversy is the birth of my two boys. when we associated with my brother in law we were constantly hearing about how the world is ending and who would bring a child into this world. Even being intelligent, you hear something enough you almost start to believe it is the right way to think.... so I thank God for the struggles that brought my boys into my life. I still go & spend time in persecution with my motherinlaw & just pray for the holy spirit to help me through & keep the visits short (2 days max). She is the grandmother of my boys & mother of my husband. I ask the holy spirit to help me to not be drawn into controversy with her. As far as the brother goes, that is up to my husband when we see him as they are "tipsters" who tried to cause problems more than once with us and the government and with us and our work. As a result, until there is some acknowledgement we forgive them as we know jealousy can be a terrible thing. We dont however allow them into our lives to give them the oportunity to hurt us again. I pray for reconciliation and one day there will be but for now this is the best way to deal with them. Also, if you are not guilty do not miss the family get togethers, we have never missed one (they have missed all of them) And when people are especially rude to you & your family dont play the game... just say well, this has been a wonderful get together but we really must be leaving now. They LOVE it when you take the bait, fight and then feel bad about your behavior & its just not worth it. Sometimes God separates us from toxic people for a season, I know i had issues with needing acceptance from all people & I definitely had to deal with that!! Anyway Romans 8:28 all things will work together for good for you because you do love the Lord & are called according to his good purpose! God Bless you and give you strength & I'm sorry you are going through this cause I know the heartache it will cause for you and your wife & children.

[imoss]

oh, another thing... PROUDLY wear your uniform you deserve it.

Amen!
Greg

Aman Imoss that is a great post! God has a reason for everything. Most of the time we don't understand it, but God works through us day by day sometimes hour by hour.

<><
NS

Nightshadow,
Thank you very much. I expected to lose friends, that didn't bother me at all, and my wife has been very supportive of it, and new my choice of profession prior to our marriage. She doesn't always like the late work nights, and working 18 or 20 hours in a day, but she accepts it, and supports me. I think the thing that hurts the most, is my brother has been a person I have always looked up to, tried to emulate. Joined the military because he did, and made my decision on what department to join, because he was an officer with that department. I guess I put him on too high of a pedestal, and that is what hurts most. I can see God working more and more every day, as I beleive the lesson he was wanting me to learn was to be more worried of what God thinks than people. Be more worried about impressing God and pleasing Him, and if people do or don't like you, oh well. God is all that matters. Jesus died to forgive me of my sins, and he is who I am going to live my life for.

[mercyswolf]

I actually can actually relate to what you're going through a little bit. I'm a volunteer firefighter down here in Florida and my wife can't stand it. It makes life difficult for me to actually run calls, work, and raise a family. What I don't think she understands even to this day long after she and I have been seperated is that I'm trying to simply make a decent life for us. So I kinda know what you're going through. No real support for your chosen profession it can be bothersome. Hang in there though I know the feeling's rough but you'll get through it.

Christianofficer you are truely blessed to have a wife that will support you and put up with it. I firmly believe the wives of police, fire, and military have the hardest job ever. They have to deal alot with the unknown, and knowing that it is very dangerous. Sometimes not knowning how long it will be before their husband and boyfriends come home or somethings not know if they are coming home. Just like being a Police Officer, Fire Fighter or Soldier the wives are just a blessed as if it was a calling all in itself.

I'm sorry your brother did not live up to the standards that he should of. I don't think you put him too high on anything. I think he let himself down not you. Maybe the stress got to him or maybe something happen that made him re-think why he become a LEO. However it does scare me that if was to turn on his own blood brother, how easy would he turn on one of his buddies.

Christianofficer I want to share with you part of my story. I hope it will help you. Last year when my partner betrayed me, she got me and my girlfriend to break up, she tried to have me arrested. She even stop me a few times with no PC and wrote me bogus tickets (2 of them I got drop 1 had to pay). I know I was being wronged and it hurt. However God reminded me of Genesis 37. About Joseph in Egypt. I had a sense of had Joseph had to feel, and in the end put it in the Lords hands. Even though sometimes haven't work out the way I would of like it too. I know that it was for the best. Where Im at now I like much more, and the people are much better. It has also had me a much better police officer.

Stay safe <><
NS

I am proud of you! Good on you for being a Christian Cop, my kids for one need a good hearted cop to lean on in times of trouble. As for your family you will be shunned because you intimidate them in some way. You pray and then you pray some more you never stop praying! You go to family functions and minister through your actions of the God in you. Everything worth anything takes work. Rent or buy the DVD 'fireproof'.... wow it shows you just how hard life is when you are in a position like yours and have family to contend with and responsibilities, but NEVER give up cause God will NEVER give up on you. You go girl. Love your brother more... tell him everytime you see him... say 'love you' and then leave with a warm smile. I didn't talk to my best friend and gay brother for years... but I always ended with 'I love you no matter what!' and you know what he came around eventually because you see Satan wants to destroy all that is good. I don't accept his life style, but itts not my place to judge , just love. He wants us to be divided. Don't let him win. If God is for you... then who can be against you? NO ONE!!!!! You are Gods daughter and he is proud of you, he has greater plans for you still yet, but they include your family. He has given them to you with a purpose, he always does for better or worse at times. Tell them all you 'love them' everytime you see them and 'smile then walk away'. Give it time you will see they will come around and it won't happen over night, give it time, but everytime you say it know you are also saying it to God as his cherished child. God is to strong for the weakness of Satan in us. I will be praying for you. Hang in there!