leaving a non christian

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cass14

Guest
#1
#1
I moved in with this guy, now I am rethinking it.. I have discovered that he drinks and wants to get high all the time..
Then looks like he could be facing jail time.. I thought maybe God wanted me to help him.. Have somebody believe in him. but I feel like I should also get out...
This will leave me homeless and no car.. At least I have a job.. I thank God for that..
Scared to take that leap..
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#2
Mar 13, 2014
41,322
16,306
113
69
Tennessee
#2
It sounds like a bad situation to be in. Do you have a friends or family that you could stay with for awhile? If God wanted you to help this guy then it would be from a distance. This is not someone that you want to live with or trust with your life. Get out while you can.
 
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cass14

Guest
#3
#3
No I have no one.. God has a plan I just have to trust him even though I can't see yet
 
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ray_james

Guest
#4
#4
Leave him, plain and simple. This is a time that you will have to trust God and step out by faith knowing that God will provide your needs. You do not need anything this guy has to offer and should get away from him as soon as you can! Yes, it may sound harsh but it would be the best thing to do for the time being.
-ray
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#5
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#5
cass14 said:
I moved in with this guy, now I am rethinking it.. I have discovered that he drinks and wants to get high all the time..
Then looks like he could be facing jail time.. I thought maybe God wanted me to help him.. Have somebody believe in him. but I feel like I should also get out...
This will leave me homeless and no car.. At least I have a job.. I thank God for that..
Scared to take that leap..
Click to expand...
This guy is bad news. He drinks, gets high, AND may be facing jail time. Trust me, you don't want any part of that. I've gone out with guys who did all of the above, and it only brought me trouble and heartache. Drop him like a hot potato before he screws up your life any more. See if you could stay with a friend or relative for now. Don't let his delinquency drag you down.
 
Angela53510

Angela53510

Senior Member
#6
Jan 24, 2011
11,783
2,947
113
#6
You should not be living with a man you are not married to in the first place. So please leave and do not marry him. Pray for him, and be a witness.

But first get your life right with God. That is not just about externals, but about our relationship with Christ, and obeying the commands he has set down for our own good.

Praying you get out of this situation, and re-evaluate your relationships with men. (The world says live with a man while you are not married, God says make a commitment for life. Don't settle for any less than this.)
 
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atwhatcost

Guest
#7
#7
Angela53510 said:
You should not be living with a man you are not married to in the first place. So please leave and do not marry him. Pray for him, and be a witness.

But first get your life right with God. That is not just about externals, but about our relationship with Christ, and obeying the commands he has set down for our own good.

Praying you get out of this situation, and re-evaluate your relationships with men. (The world says live with a man while you are not married, God says make a commitment for life. Don't settle for any less than this.)
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Amen! And to add to this it says nothing about living with someone to fix him.

You're not fixed, so how were you planning to fix someone else? This was a bad idea all around. If you want to help someone, help them, don't live with them. Never, ever move in or marry someone because you have a vision of what they ought to be. The only purpose of moving in with someone is to help resolve financial problems. (Roommates or family, not lovers.) The only reason to marry someone is to permanently partnership with that person. That person, not the person they might become.
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#8
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
0
#8
Hmmm! :confused:

It seemed a roof and a car were something convenient for you to move in: "...This will leave me homeless and no car..."
 
E

ember

Guest
#9
#9
cass14 said:
I moved in with this guy, now I am rethinking it.. I have discovered that he drinks and wants to get high all the time..
Then looks like he could be facing jail time.. I thought maybe God wanted me to help him.. Have somebody believe in him. but I feel like I should also get out...
This will leave me homeless and no car.. At least I have a job.. I thank God for that..
Scared to take that leap..
Click to expand...
I am in doubt that you had no idea of the activities of the person you moved in with as substance abuse as in "all the time" is not something that can stay hidden...unless of course you are exaggerating in order to give yourself an excuse to move out now as if you need one?

I am sorry you have got yourself into this predicament, but I do not understand how a person can believe God wants them to help someone by comitting sin? (living with someone and having a sexual relationship with them is sin...)

So, what is your actual question?

It sort of sounds like you moved in to ease your life and instead have complicated it

So much more could be said, but your premise is wrong and any further action besides leaving is not going to help

Are you a Christian or are you just wanting to talk about your situation?
 
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mystikmind

Guest
#10
#10
If you love him and feel committed to the relationship in your heart, then you could try telling him it is time to make some choices because you cannot stay in the relationship the way things are. And then even if he does choose wisely, you have to consider is his choice really genuine? will he stick with it? will he follow the help programs?

The chances of success are not good, but you know your boyfriend allot better than we do.

Incidentally, my sister married a borne again Christian guy who used to be into drugs and drinking in his old life, after they got married, he went back to it!! The point is, you cannot rely on wether or not a partner 'says' they are Christian, or that they will always be Christian, only God can see what is truly in peoples hearts.
 
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ember

Guest
#11
#11
I don't want to nit pick mystikmind, but living in a sinful relationship will never have God's blessing.

It really is not about whether or not she is committed...she pretty much says she isn't

If someone is looking for 'Christian' advice, I think Angela, post #6, pretty much gave the best advice
 
P

pwrnJC

Banned
#12
Dec 1, 2014
1,430
27
0
#12
I manage a homeless shelter. THIS scenario is played out on a daily basis...A woman MOVES in with a man. THEREIN lies her first mistake. TO totally depend on a man, who obviously has issues, is the worse thing possible. You mention GOD, yet, where was GOD when you decided to MOVE IN with a man? GOD must have not been consulted, because your post would not have had to be written.
 
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atwhatcost

Guest
#13
#13
mystikmind said:
If you love him and feel committed to the relationship in your heart, then you could try telling him it is time to make some choices because you cannot stay in the relationship the way things are. And then even if he does choose wisely, you have to consider is his choice really genuine? will he stick with it? will he follow the help programs?

The chances of success are not good, but you know your boyfriend allot better than we do.

Incidentally, my sister married a borne again Christian guy who used to be into drugs and drinking in his old life, after they got married, he went back to it!! The point is, you cannot rely on wether or not a partner 'says' they are Christian, or that they will always be Christian, only God can see what is truly in peoples hearts.
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What are the choices there? The only thing I can see that could make this arrangement right is if he married her today. Not a good choice in so many ways. So, what choice could he make that changes this in a good way?

Ultimatums tend to mean "if you do this, I'll stay." In this case, even if he did this, she shouldn't stay.
 
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