To be or not to be

[RickyZ]

My wife and I have come to absolutely hate living in Los Angeles. It's crowded, it's hot, is dirty, we can't breathe the foul air, and worst of all the people just suck (mean and nasty and narcissistic to the nth degree). We put together a list of qualifiers in looking for somewhere else to live, these brought us to a small farming town in southwestern Minnesota where she has family. We rented an apartment there in October and have been splitting our time there and in LA to see what it was like. We have come to absolutely love it out there.

We don't live easy lives. The world and it's rulers go out of their way every single day to keep us as stymied and stonewalled as human beings can be. But our time in MN has been so different. Everything that has needed to fall into place to get us to MN has fallen into place as if were being scripted. That includes finding the most perfect house that fits all our needs to a T. We've believed this was God telling us this is where He wants us.

Since we made the offer on the house this has ceased. The mortgage company has pulled every trick in the book... bait and switch, outright lies, stalling and delaying, and pulling all their usual games. I keep hearing about how we with our spotless credit record and bare minimal debt are the model clients the loan industry is looking for, yet these agencies seem to have no real interest in our business at all. It's left such a foul taste in our mouths that we really just want to tell them where to shove their loan. (And yes we did shop around, but when you're dealing with an industry full of liars and deceivers how much good will that really do?)

The reality agent has been a bust too. Other than unlock the door and let us in, she's been of absolutely no help. She won't answer questions, never produced a list of comps (even when we directly asked her too), and won't answer emails or phone calls. We found out halfway thru the process that the seller of the house is her lawyer representing her in a divorce. Obvious conflict of interest, but when we investigated going with another agent, we were told that no one else would take us on because "they don't do that (take other's clients away) here". And, it's a small town where everyone knows everyone else... where would we find an agent who didn't have this conflict? We looked up to an hour away with no luck.

So now we are questioning whether this is what God wants for us. Or is it just the facts of life in dealing with an industry that crashed the entire world economy and was never held to account for it? I know we are not the only ones facing these industry roadblocks. But I never figured that with our credit and debt credentials they would openly screw us like they have.

So, is this God saying don't buy, or is this satan trying to thwart God's will for us? I'm suspecting the latter, the industry being in satan's pockets and all. But I don't want to miss out on something God might say to us just because of the industry history of playing these games.

Your thoughts?

 

[Joidevivre]

I live in Los Angeles county and I guess I'm one of those people you describe: " the people just suck (mean and nasty and narcissistic to the nth degree".

Maybe we are just so used to each other we don't see it anymore.

 

[RickyZ]

You're probably one of the few who don't suck

 

[presidente]

This has nothing to do with your location and housing issues, but do you think this may be an opportunity for you to be less negative and judgmental toward people, for example, overly optimistic salesmen at the mortgage company or people in LA?

 

[GaryA]

Let's see...


Really hate L.A.

My wife and I have come to absolutely hate living in Los Angeles.

Looked for a better place.

We put together a list of qualifiers in looking for somewhere else to live, these brought us to a small farming town in southwestern Minnesota where she has family.

Trying something different.

We rented an apartment there in October and have been splitting our time there and in LA to see what it was like.

It's wonderful!

We have come to absolutely love it out there.

It must be the will of God.

But our time in MN has been so different. Everything that has needed to fall into place to get us to MN has fallen into place as if were being scripted.

So far so good?

That includes finding the most perfect house that fits all our needs to a T. We've believed this was God telling us this is where He wants us.

Then everything goes wrong...

Since we made the offer on the house this has ceased.

Confusion and Doubt are added to the equation...

So now we are questioning whether this is what God wants for us.

Question: Which is it?

So, is this God saying don't buy, or is this satan trying to thwart God's will for us?

Answer: Could be either - not known - no certainty.

Your thoughts?

I do not know what God wants for you and your wife, but my thoughts are these:

~ Stay where you are - continue to rent the apartment - give yourself some more time.

~ Pray about "the next move" - but, be patient.


Something much better may be coming ahead --- be patient...

 

[Galahad]

LA is terrible. I agree.

Don't know why the mortgage would be hassling you. There's no need for it. Try a credit union. They are more personal, helpful, welcoming, and friendly. Just call one and ask about how to be a member. Some credit unions only require you live in a certain zip code or area.

Change to a different agent when your contract with the present agent expires.

God's will is that you seek Him daily and grow in love toward Him and teach others about Him no matter where you live.

 

[atwhatcost]

My wife and I have come to absolutely hate living in Los Angeles. It's crowded, it's hot, is dirty, we can't breathe the foul air, and worst of all the people just suck (mean and nasty and narcissistic to the nth degree). We put together a list of qualifiers in looking for somewhere else to live, these brought us to a small farming town in southwestern Minnesota where she has family. We rented an apartment there in October and have been splitting our time there and in LA to see what it was like. We have come to absolutely love it out there.

We don't live easy lives. The world and it's rulers go out of their way every single day to keep us as stymied and stonewalled as human beings can be. But our time in MN has been so different. Everything that has needed to fall into place to get us to MN has fallen into place as if were being scripted. That includes finding the most perfect house that fits all our needs to a T. We've believed this was God telling us this is where He wants us.

Since we made the offer on the house this has ceased. The mortgage company has pulled every trick in the book... bait and switch, outright lies, stalling and delaying, and pulling all their usual games. I keep hearing about how we with our spotless credit record and bare minimal debt are the model clients the loan industry is looking for, yet these agencies seem to have no real interest in our business at all. It's left such a foul taste in our mouths that we really just want to tell them where to shove their loan. (And yes we did shop around, but when you're dealing with an industry full of liars and deceivers how much good will that really do?)

The reality agent has been a bust too. Other than unlock the door and let us in, she's been of absolutely no help. She won't answer questions, never produced a list of comps (even when we directly asked her too), and won't answer emails or phone calls. We found out halfway thru the process that the seller of the house is her lawyer representing her in a divorce. Obvious conflict of interest, but when we investigated going with another agent, we were told that no one else would take us on because "they don't do that (take other's clients away) here". And, it's a small town where everyone knows everyone else... where would we find an agent who didn't have this conflict? We looked up to an hour away with no luck.

So now we are questioning whether this is what God wants for us. Or is it just the facts of life in dealing with an industry that crashed the entire world economy and was never held to account for it? I know we are not the only ones facing these industry roadblocks. But I never figured that with our credit and debt credentials they would openly screw us like they have.

So, is this God saying don't buy, or is this satan trying to thwart God's will for us? I'm suspecting the latter, the industry being in satan's pockets and all. But I don't want to miss out on something God might say to us just because of the industry history of playing these games.

Your thoughts?

Have you been in MN for 7 winters yet? The reason I ask is because I would imagine MN is a pretty place in the summertime, but the winters can be downright deadly.

One of my favorite series was Little House in the Prairie. Skipping the first book (when they didn't live in the prairie but in the "Big Woods"), the Ingalls couldn't have had worse timing to move to MN. After barely surviving their first winter, they learned the truth. About once every 7 years a MN winter can chew you up and spit you out! Unless you're prepared, it will.

I don't know what kind of farm you planned on, but only Alaska is worse for farming. It's too short a season to farm most vegetables, and if you're talking cows, you better have the money to heat and feed them all winter or they will die. And, I'm not talking the mere 3 months of winter we get here in Philly. MN winters are some of the longest winters too.

I suspect the problems you had with the house closing has more to do with God telling you to think over this decision some more. It's no big deal to move to any of 40 states in our country, but you better think carefully for the other 10. MN is one you better be prepared for. Your car won't work half the winter.

And, if you think real estate is in satan's pocket... I'm just not sure you're prepared for a hard life at all.

 

[RickyZ]

This has nothing to do with your location and housing issues, but do you think this may be an opportunity for you to be less negative and judgmental toward people, for example, overly optimistic salesmen at the mortgage company or people in LA?

I hear you, but am I really supposed to be happy about agents who outright lie to us over and over again? Am I supposed to be happy to be surrounded by people who would rather spit on you than give you the time of day? I've always been sort of a chameleon, taking on aspects of my environment. And I'm taking on aspects of this toxic environment that I don't want to embody. That alone is reason to me to get out of it.

 

[RickyZ]

Have you been in MN for 7 winters yet? The reason I ask is because I would imagine MN is a pretty place in the summertime, but the winters can be downright deadly.

One of my favorite series was Little House in the Prairie. Skipping the first book (when they didn't live in the prairie but in the "Big Woods"), the Ingalls couldn't have had worse timing to move to MN. After barely surviving their first winter, they learned the truth. About once every 7 years a MN winter can chew you up and spit you out! Unless you're prepared, it will.

I don't know what kind of farm you planned on, but only Alaska is worse for farming. It's too short a season to farm most vegetables, and if you're talking cows, you better have the money to heat and feed them all winter or they will die. And, I'm not talking the mere 3 months of winter we get here in Philly. MN winters are some of the longest winters too.

I suspect the problems you had with the house closing has more to do with God telling you to think over this decision some more. It's no big deal to move to any of 40 states in our country, but you better think carefully for the other 10. MN is one you better be prepared for. Your car won't work half the winter.

And, if you think real estate is in satan's pocket... I'm just not sure you're prepared for a hard life at all.

I'm aware of the winters in MN... or at least the reputation of them. We are in the very southwest corner of the state, and the area really associates itself more with Sioux Falls SD (1 hour west) than Minneapolis (3.5 hours north). Seeing what the winter was like was the reason we rented last October. And yes it was a mild winter; snow wise it was very light but temperature wise it was average. We saw it down to -11 and didn't have a problem with it. Actually, 35 years of fighting brush fires has screwed up my body temp system. If it's 70 I'm looking for shade and air conditioning. I only wore a t-shirt and light sweater on MN and was fine with the cold (got a lot of strange looks from everyone else bundled up like eskimos lol). My wife would actually like to go further north because she loves the snow. Also, the 'natives' bundle up and complain about the cold when it's 65. So I have to put a question mark on their reports of the 'unbearable' cold.

It's funny, every time we go there we meet someone from CA. They all say the same thing... you find a way to deal with the cold and the rest is paradise. We have yet to meet one who even remotely considers going back.

And our car ran fine all winter. Plus we can get E85 for $1.69!



.

 

[Jeff_56]

LA is terrible. I agree.

Don't know why the mortgage would be hassling you. There's no need for it. Try a credit union. They are more personal, helpful, welcoming, and friendly. Just call one and ask about how to be a member. Some credit unions only require you live in a certain zip code or area.
.............
God's will is that you seek Him daily and grow in love toward Him and teach others about Him no matter where you live.

they are being summed up in the world, under the prince of the power of the air.
as to "no need for it".... simple need>>> even rhymes >>> the world "greed" even in (or more obvious in ?) small towns now, with close to zero exceptions.....

I hear you, but am I really supposed to be happy about agents who outright lie to us over and over again? Am I supposed to be happy to be surrounded by people who would rather spit on you than give you the time of day? I've always been sort of a chameleon, taking on aspects of my environment. And I'm taking on aspects of this toxic environment that I don't want to embody. That alone is reason to me to get out of it.

so many "aspects of this toxic environment"(society) are already so embedded you will find it one of the biggest obstacles to overcome to following Jesus daily.

'they' (any business profiting from getting you to move) will play nice, maybe, until the hook is in, then set.... and once you're 'signed up' in a way you can't easily get free... BOOM!

 

[RickyZ]

they are being summed up in the world, under the prince of the power of the air.
as to "no need for it".... simple need>>> even rhymes >>> the world "greed" even in (or more obvious in ?) small towns now, with close to zero exceptions.....


so many "aspects of this toxic environment"(society) are already so embedded you will find it one of the biggest obstacles to overcome to following Jesus daily.

'they' (any business profiting from getting you to move) will play nice, maybe, until the hook is in, then set.... and once you're 'signed up' in a way you can't easily get free... BOOM!

Yeah, I do realize that I can't eliminate all the idiots. But I can limit how many of them I have around me. One of the things I like about MN is that when people wave at you, they wave all 5 fingers, not just the one!

And yes this toxic environment definitely impacts my walk with God. Another reason to leave it, sooner rather than later.

 

[RickyZ]

So... got a really good response from both the real estate agent and the loan people this morning. Probably the best and most hopeful responses I've received from them yet. Crossing my fingers, knocking on wood and praying it continues!

 

[cmarieh]

So... got a really good response from both the real estate agent and the loan people this morning. Probably the best and most hopeful responses I've received from them yet. Crossing my fingers, knocking on wood and praying it continues!

That is really good news to hear. I would have responded yesterday, but I needed time to pray before I did. I believe the enemy is trying to prevent you from moving somewhere that God is placing you and your wife. My aunt and uncle just went through a similar situation and they just got the keys to their home last week. Just keep praying and seeking God for he is faithful on his promises to us. He is never too early, never too late, just right on time

 

[RickyZ]

You know, I've never brought a prayer or issue to this assembly that wasn't immediately honored by God. You guys are awesome. I love my CC brothers and sisters and can't wait to meet you all when we are called home!

 

[notuptome]

Just wondering but I hear you say what you want and that is natural but what does God want? I'm thinking of an old hymn that says anywhere with Jesus I can safely go. Anywhere He leads me is heaven below.

Force your will or seek Gods will?

For the cause of Christ
Roger

 

[RickyZ]

And that is exactly why I'm asking. Never hurts to have confirmation of denial from on high.

 

[atwhatcost]

I hear you, but am I really supposed to be happy about agents who outright lie to us over and over again? Am I supposed to be happy to be surrounded by people who would rather spit on you than give you the time of day? I've always been sort of a chameleon, taking on aspects of my environment. And I'm taking on aspects of this toxic environment that I don't want to embody. That alone is reason to me to get out of it.

Who are real estate agents working for? The seller or the buyer? The seller! After all, selling the property is their paycheck. So, would they lie? Probably, but the ones I met simply didn't mention the bad points. (Little things like that paint job under the window is all that's under there. Behind it, water damage ate away the wood, so it is literally only paint holding thew window up. And, sure, he plugged in that freezer in the basement to prove it starts, but he "forgot" to mention it never stops cycling. So, yeah, I get they are less than scrupulous, but then again, how dumb were we not to have it inspected properly, and to not find out the history of the people before us? Also, detectives, with guns drawn, came to our front door because previous owner's son was a pedophile. Another detail missed, because we didn't do our homework.) So, it's not much different than buying a used car. "Buyer, beware."

Surrounded by people who would spit on you? Of course you don't take that. Instead find people to surround you that won't spit on you. Do you really think MN has a completely different kind of human than CA? You're just setting yourself up to keep moving.

And, I absolutely agree with you on being a sponge for other people's reaction. What I'm given, I reflect. Because of that, I've become more careful on who I hang out with. I don't have to physically move. I have to mentally move -- to those who will give me positive. They're found everywhere. After all, remember. I'm in Philly, the city that threw ice balls at Santa and Jimmy Johnson, and who killed a NY Giant fan for simply being a NY Giant fan. I don't hang out with those kinds of people because that's not all of Philly.

 

[atwhatcost]

I'm aware of the winters in MN... or at least the reputation of them. We are in the very southwest corner of the state, and the area really associates itself more with Sioux Falls SD (1 hour west) than Minneapolis (3.5 hours north). Seeing what the winter was like was the reason we rented last October. And yes it was a mild winter; snow wise it was very light but temperature wise it was average. We saw it down to -11 and didn't have a problem with it. Actually, 35 years of fighting brush fires has screwed up my body temp system. If it's 70 I'm looking for shade and air conditioning. I only wore a t-shirt and light sweater on MN and was fine with the cold (got a lot of strange looks from everyone else bundled up like eskimos lol). My wife would actually like to go further north because she loves the snow. Also, the 'natives' bundle up and complain about the cold when it's 65. So I have to put a question mark on their reports of the 'unbearable' cold.

It's funny, every time we go there we meet someone from CA. They all say the same thing... you find a way to deal with the cold and the rest is paradise. We have yet to meet one who even remotely considers going back.

And our car ran fine all winter. Plus we can get E85 for $1.69!

October isn't winter. That -11 was autumn. lol

And you didn't meet anyone who wanted to move back, because they already did.

I live in a section of Philly where everyone moves to Jersey. And then half move back six months to a year later. lol

 

[JesusLives]

It has been my experience that buying a house is a test of fortitude and perseverance. If you aren't dealing with shyster agents or mortgage companies/banks. Then there are the issues with the house itself....in that something needs to be repaired or the bank or mortgage co wants you to fix something before they will give the loan....You aren't holding your mouth right or your hand reaching out for the money doesn't reach far enough....

All I know is that at the end of the 4 different house purchases in my lifetime.... My husband and I or just I breathed a Big Sigh of Relief. Each purchase had it's issues and I lost out on at least three different properties I would have loved to have had due to one reason or another not being able to satisfy a lender...heartbreaking a couple of times.... But if you really love the house it is well worth the pain you are being put through as I know the townhouse I live in now is my absolute favorite out of all my tries and buys.....Just keep praying and stick with it...it will fall through for sure if God says no....but you will breathe that sigh of relief after the loan process torture is over....

 

[tourist]

Have you been in MN for 7 winters yet? The reason I ask is because I would imagine MN is a pretty place in the summertime, but the winters can be downright deadly.

One of my favorite series was Little House in the Prairie. Skipping the first book (when they didn't live in the prairie but in the "Big Woods"), the Ingalls couldn't have had worse timing to move to MN. After barely surviving their first winter, they learned the truth. About once every 7 years a MN winter can chew you up and spit you out! Unless you're prepared, it will.

I don't know what kind of farm you planned on, but only Alaska is worse for farming. It's too short a season to farm most vegetables, and if you're talking cows, you better have the money to heat and feed them all winter or they will die. And, I'm not talking the mere 3 months of winter we get here in Philly. MN winters are some of the longest winters too.

I suspect the problems you had with the house closing has more to do with God telling you to think over this decision some more. It's no big deal to move to any of 40 states in our country, but you better think carefully for the other 10. MN is one you better be prepared for. Your car won't work half the winter.

And, if you think real estate is in satan's pocket... I'm just not sure you're prepared for a hard life at all.

Life in Maine is problematic also. A year ago I moved back to Florida after an 8 year stay in that God-forsaken place. It is predominately cold and winter lasts about 6 months and is brutal. You were right about cars too. The harsh climate killed my car prematurely. My years there were the hardest of my life.