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I am seeking some Godly advice. I am a new Christian as of about 3 months ago and have been married to my husband for over a year, who is also a Christian. I am 8 months pregnant with our first child and we have been having a lot of talks about setting a good Christian foundation for our future children. We live in a two bedroom apartment, and my husband’s father has lived with us since the day we got married and moved in together. I am aware that the more pregnant I get, the more impatient I become, and I am juggling a lot with being pregnant, working, and going to school, therefore I am pretty stressed most of the time. My husband is a great leader for our family a works very hard, but I have been struggling recently with having his dad here.
First of all, mine and my husband’s main priority is to bring up our children in a Christian environment. We don’t want our children being exposed to conflicting life styles more than they already will growing up in a Godless world. Recently we had a talk with my husband’s side of the family about instilling a Godly life for our children, and hoping that they are on board with us and will eventually become Christians. His family took it well, but they are struggling with making serious changes, such as not listening to rap music, smoking, cursing, etc., but we also know it will take time. His dad grew up in the south where he was forced to go to Church, and since he was 18 has not gone back. It came to a point where my husband told his father that he wants him to come to church with us or else he will no longer be able to live with us (because he doesn’t want our children seeing this conflicting lifestyle).
My husband’s dad has not had a job in over 20 years, and has been supported by his children (mostly my husband) for quite some time. He is not unable to work, he just chooses not to. All he does is take, and hardly shows any appreciation for what has been done for him. He does not try to contribute to paying any bills nor does he do much around the house. He sits and watches TV and then waits until I get home to take my bus pass and goes somewhere. He really is an angry and lonely man, so I feel very sorry for him a lot, but other times it just makes me dislike him more and more. I grew up seeing my dad go to work at 5:00 am every morning, working overtime on a weekly basis, and never complaining about it once. This is where my frustration comes in. My husband and I have now supported his dad together for over a year, and I am becoming more and more impatient, angry, resentful, and bitter. As a Christian, I know that these are not good feelings to have, which is why I am greatly needing advice.
With the ultimatum given by my husband, my father-in-law has now been coming to Church with us for the past few weeks. My husband and I are hopeful that he will become a Christian, and want to support him in the most Godly way possible, but as many people probably know it is hard to change a grown man’s thoughts.
As my due date gets closer and closer, I see myself getting more and more selfish and angry. I selfishly want that extra room for my baby because I am in my “nesting” phase and want to make sure everything is ready for the baby. I don’t agree with the way my father-in-law is raising my husband’s nephew and don’t want my child to be under that influence. And frankly, I just want to feel like I have my own family, and not constantly be around his dad. I want my husband and I to “cleave” unto each other, and not in any way forget or ignore our parents, but focus on the family we’re creating together. I want my father-in-law to get a job like I know he can and be a grandparent, like my parents are.
I am so happy that my father-in-law is coming to church, but am afraid he’s just sitting through it so that he can stay in our house. He has also shown us that he is not willing to change certain ways, like not giving our nephew candy everyday (this caused an argument between him and I because he refused to respect our wishes).
I am struggling between my great desire for my father-in-law to become a Christian, and my desire for my children to be raised by my husband and not be under his influence, and my selfish desires of simply not wanting my father-in-law living with us because it’s not what I had in mind when I got married.
I struggle with talking to my husband about this because I do not want him to feel like I hate his dad, which I absolutely do not. We have talked briefly about it, but my husband’s mentality is that it’s worth him staying here if he becomes a Christian, and that we just need to be patient with him. I don’t know what to do. I have prayed for this anger to go away and for me to become more patient but I constantly am struggling. Please, any Godly advice would be very helpful to me. I know that I have selfish thoughts and am not prideful, so please tell how to deal with this as a true Christian.
First of all, mine and my husband’s main priority is to bring up our children in a Christian environment. We don’t want our children being exposed to conflicting life styles more than they already will growing up in a Godless world. Recently we had a talk with my husband’s side of the family about instilling a Godly life for our children, and hoping that they are on board with us and will eventually become Christians. His family took it well, but they are struggling with making serious changes, such as not listening to rap music, smoking, cursing, etc., but we also know it will take time. His dad grew up in the south where he was forced to go to Church, and since he was 18 has not gone back. It came to a point where my husband told his father that he wants him to come to church with us or else he will no longer be able to live with us (because he doesn’t want our children seeing this conflicting lifestyle).
My husband’s dad has not had a job in over 20 years, and has been supported by his children (mostly my husband) for quite some time. He is not unable to work, he just chooses not to. All he does is take, and hardly shows any appreciation for what has been done for him. He does not try to contribute to paying any bills nor does he do much around the house. He sits and watches TV and then waits until I get home to take my bus pass and goes somewhere. He really is an angry and lonely man, so I feel very sorry for him a lot, but other times it just makes me dislike him more and more. I grew up seeing my dad go to work at 5:00 am every morning, working overtime on a weekly basis, and never complaining about it once. This is where my frustration comes in. My husband and I have now supported his dad together for over a year, and I am becoming more and more impatient, angry, resentful, and bitter. As a Christian, I know that these are not good feelings to have, which is why I am greatly needing advice.
With the ultimatum given by my husband, my father-in-law has now been coming to Church with us for the past few weeks. My husband and I are hopeful that he will become a Christian, and want to support him in the most Godly way possible, but as many people probably know it is hard to change a grown man’s thoughts.
As my due date gets closer and closer, I see myself getting more and more selfish and angry. I selfishly want that extra room for my baby because I am in my “nesting” phase and want to make sure everything is ready for the baby. I don’t agree with the way my father-in-law is raising my husband’s nephew and don’t want my child to be under that influence. And frankly, I just want to feel like I have my own family, and not constantly be around his dad. I want my husband and I to “cleave” unto each other, and not in any way forget or ignore our parents, but focus on the family we’re creating together. I want my father-in-law to get a job like I know he can and be a grandparent, like my parents are.
I am so happy that my father-in-law is coming to church, but am afraid he’s just sitting through it so that he can stay in our house. He has also shown us that he is not willing to change certain ways, like not giving our nephew candy everyday (this caused an argument between him and I because he refused to respect our wishes).
I am struggling between my great desire for my father-in-law to become a Christian, and my desire for my children to be raised by my husband and not be under his influence, and my selfish desires of simply not wanting my father-in-law living with us because it’s not what I had in mind when I got married.
I struggle with talking to my husband about this because I do not want him to feel like I hate his dad, which I absolutely do not. We have talked briefly about it, but my husband’s mentality is that it’s worth him staying here if he becomes a Christian, and that we just need to be patient with him. I don’t know what to do. I have prayed for this anger to go away and for me to become more patient but I constantly am struggling. Please, any Godly advice would be very helpful to me. I know that I have selfish thoughts and am not prideful, so please tell how to deal with this as a true Christian.