To Do List: Laundry, Dishes, Pack Kids' Lunches, Oh, and Have Sex with Spouse.

[seoulsearch]

Hello All,

I have been listening to a Christian radio program some nights on the way home from work (I always seem to catch it in the middle, so I never get the speaker's name but they always address her as "Dr." such-and-such so I assume she's some sort of Christian counselor.)

The last two programs I listened to had to do with Christian marriages--this woman said there were times when she would try to get everything done that she felt needed her attention that day and would then try to have a quiet Bible study... but that God put it on her heart to go upstairs and spend personal time with her husband. She said her immediate reply was, "But God, I can only stare at the ceiling so many times!!" and went on to say that God was telling her this was a way to serve her husband.

On the last program I caught the other night, she again reiterated the fact that Christian wives serve their husbands by spending intimate time with them and it's part of the marital duties.

I understand this is all very Biblical, but I found it rather dismaying!!! Is that all sex is to be reduced to in a marriage, most especially, a Christian marriage?? Just another chore on the "to do today" list???

Now, I can certainly understand how it can get that way. I once knew a young woman who told me she was considering taking some sort of pills to help boost her sex drive because her husband was complaining about her lack of interest. However, after talking with her, it didn't take much to figure out why!!! They both worked full-time and yet her husband expected her to do all the household chores and care for their two children. The most he'd ever do is maybe cut the lawn, and that was rare. She was literally expected to do all the rest. I told her, you don't need pills, you need for someone to give your husband a wake-up call in common courtesy!!

I consider myself blessed in that my mother always talked to me in the context that sex with your spouse is a privilege and something fun, not an obligation or bargaining tool.

Having been married at one time myself, I always kept her advice in mind. Although our marriage did not work out, my then-husband and I, I would hope to say, had some very wonderful romantic times, mostly because of atmosphere. For instance, I can remember one time I came home with the groceries and he met me at the door, saying, "You've done enough, honey, let me do the rest," and proceeded to insist I go relax while he retrieved everything from the car and put it all away. We were both full-time college students with two and three jobs each, so I really appreciated all his efforts.

Another time we were talking about romantic themes in movies that we liked and I told him I always kind of like the story lines where some gruff guy gets assigned to protect some woman and he grumbles all the way, but winds up falling hopelessly in love with her.

He listened intently and said, "Ok, Baby, how about this... I could pretend to be some secret agent guy... and, what do you think--my secret agent name will be 'Flash Dashing'..." and he kept going on, carefully setting the scenario. He was being so sincere and charming and sweet AND sarcastic all at the same time... I just remember laughing so hard at the intense, but utterly silly expressions on his face... how could I NOT have immediately fallen into his arms?

Or, is it just the "good, chaste and humble" answer for a good Christian wife to state that she agrees to have sex with her husband out of duty and honor to God?

Is it actually ok to say one likes having sex with their spouse, and, seeming even more shockingly, admit it???

I went to a Lutheran school K-12th grade and there was no talk at all about sex except, "Don't do it and don't do anything even close to it and don't even think about it until you get married." How they expect people to have healthy sex lives within a marriage after all that "do not, do not, do not", I'm not sure.

Then, if you have the unfortunate situation of a divorce... guess what they tell you? "Don't do it and don't so anything even close to it and don't even think about it, and if you're going to date, wear a padlock at all times." (And of course, some Christians will say you also can never remarry... so if your husband leaves you for another woman when you're 25, apparently your life is over and you are destined, by the divine will of God, to be alone the rest of your life. And the good church people wondered why I fell into hopeless state of despair for so many years.)

What do all of you out there think, most especially the married Christians who can give us singles some advice?

Is sex a chore... or actually a fun time with the person you hopefully love more than anyone else in the world? And, as a Christian, are you free to publicly admit it?

Or is it best to put on the pious face of, "I am doing my duty before the Lord."

Am looking forward to your thoughts!!!

[seoulsearch]

Hmm... 38 views and no responses. Interesting. Maybe everyone it too busy spending personal time with their spouse?!

It's interesting too that in the Singles Forum, questions about sex get plenty of responses... but no one has answered this particular thread yet... so... I guess the people who can't want to have sex want to talk about it, while apparently the people who are Biblically permitted to have sex (via marriage) DON'T want to talk about it.

Lol i love to read your posts- you're very insightful and not afraid to ''go there''. Im not married though so I felt like I didnt have the right to post.

[seoulsearch]

Originally Posted by Dread_Zeppelin

Lol i love to read your posts- you're very insightful and not afraid to ''go there''. Im not married though so I felt like I didnt have the right to post.

Hi DZ,

Thanks for your kind compliment and encouragement. Whether online or in real life, I tend to either be told: that I say too much and have too many questions, or, on the other end of the balance beam, everyone else looks at me with a sigh of relief and says, "You're so real." I'm often told that I say the things everyone else is thinking but is too afraid to actually say.

I heard a pastor once state it perfectly: "If we can't talk about sex in the church, where on else could we talk about? God invented sex--it's not like He's afraid to talk about it!! And if we don't, no wonder Christians keep going out into the world to find someone who will."

I personally feel that many people feel trapped and at a point of despair because they don't feel they can talk to someone in the church about what they're really going through.

I have had the unfortunate experience, many times, of married men trying to talk to me in the sense of either wanting to discuss their personal lives (or lack thereof with their wives) or looking for some sort of emotional mistress and I always say the same thing, "I'm not the person you should be speaking to about this--please go to someone in your church." And they will tell you there is no one to go to (same thing with Christian wives I've talked to.)

I just think if we felt freer to talk about life and what we're going through and how it REALLY is without a fear of being condemned, judged, or severely lectured within the church, we've have much stronger marriages. As Christians, we need to know that we can find real answers to our real problems within the church, not just to be told to read yet another book or memorize another 20 passages.

I feel blessed that God seems to be placing me with strong Christian co-workers and church members who feel the same way and are willing to talk about such issues in an honest and realistic way.

[OreoSoleil]

I wouldn't think of it as a chore -- but only the man who pursues me and marries me -- would receive it from me. Not perfect just so ya know -- just see now I want to wait

[nanabean]

Seoulesearch...I am not quite sure what exactly you are looking for in response to this thread, even after having read all your posts on it here, and I did hesitate to even write anything either, but, well, here goes nothing!

I am a very private person in my own way (very outgoing in some ways though too--if that even combines!! hahha!) and talking about my own sex life is ... well, not gonna happen! But I will say this, making love with your spouse should not become a "chore" however, during certain very busy times in a married life, it sometimes does become essential to "set aside" time to BE intimate. Not as a "chore" but as a "looked forward to time" to be together. This can and does apply to even just time together non sexually as well. IE: talking, sharing, being yourselves TOGETHER.

I have NO idea if this "helps" ????? or in any way answers your questions?? but thats all I got!!!! hahaha!! Take care!

Ah, a fellow Seoul mate! Greetings.

God designed sex to be enjoyed. It's a very physical way of sharing intimacy. It shouldn't be a chore. But, a... how did one poster put it? "a looked forward to time to be together." I like that very much. In a hectic schedule that involves doing so many things, sex can take a back seat and it seems that in order to find time you have to make time. And the making time, that can be a chore. Oh look, another thing to put on the to do list. I think people have the idea that sex should be spontaneous. It should just happen without it needing to be planned for. This is an erroneous assumption.

Marital love, which includes sex, is something that needs constant attention and work. It is a husband's duty to give happiness to his wife, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Likewise, a wife should honor her husband and strive to please him in the above mentioned ways as well.

I have a 3 month old daughter at home. The joy I have in my heart because of this precious gift from the Almighty cannot be compared. Also, she is very demanding and takes up an enormous amount of my wife's and my time. We hardly have time for ourselves. What we have done, that I find effective, is to make dates. Rather than a 'chore', we have a date planned. We arrange for a babysitter and spend some time by ourselves. It's rare that this happens, but so very rewarding when it does.

I would hope it is ok to say one admits to liking sex with their spouse. I don't think it's necessarily wrong to enjoy sex with your spouse out of duty and honor to God. All that we do should be because of our duty and honor to God. "In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths." But sex can also be enjoyed for its own sake.

Agreed. If we don't give any healthy sex education to students except 'don't, don't, don't' they will learn unhealthy sex attitudes and habits. When sex education should begin, I'm not sure. Parents should talk to their children when the parents think the children are mature enough to handle it. That's going to be different for each family.

I cant really answer this thread properly either as Im not married, but I will put my two cents worth in. Concerning sex and marriage think of Mr Burns rubbing his hands together in glee and anticipation for some evil plan. Thats me alright lol. Sadly, Im not a virgin, but I am for the first time in my life being deliberately celibate with my boyfriend and I have to say its the best most initmate thing Ive done with a person. Oh its hard alright but its gonna be so worth it.
People have always found me to be a bit hard to deal with cos Im always talking and I feel no qualms about talking about sex. I went to a bible study group and we were discussing duties of a wife (most esp Proverbs 31). Yes its pretty cool piece of scripture to go by but I said to them "Dont you think a bit of Song of Songs is something to look at as well? A bit of fun in the bedroom?" And they all gasped and immediately ignored what I said cos Im the girl whose not as 'pure' as the rest and she obviously cant stop thinking about it.
I hate how Christian girls downplay the importance of sex. Its very important. I of all people know how it can be very misused, so I feel no personal crime in looking forward to it again when Im married and having fun with it while Im at it.
Yeah ok, too much information. Meh but it needs to be said.

[nanabean]

Originally Posted by Mal316

Ah, a fellow Seoul mate! Greetings.

God designed sex to be enjoyed. It's a very physical way of sharing intimacy. It shouldn't be a chore. But, a... how did one poster put it? "a looked forward to time to be together." I like that very much. In a hectic schedule that involves doing so many things, sex can take a back seat and it seems that in order to find time you have to make time. And the making time, that can be a chore. Oh look, another thing to put on the to do list. I think people have the idea that sex should be spontaneous. It should just happen without it needing to be planned for. This is an erroneous assumption.

Marital love, which includes sex, is something that needs constant attention and work. It is a husband's duty to give happiness to his wife, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Likewise, a wife should honor her husband and strive to please him in the above mentioned ways as well.

I have a 3 month old daughter at home. The joy I have in my heart because of this precious gift from the Almighty cannot be compared. Also, she is very demanding and takes up an enormous amount of my wife's and my time. We hardly have time for ourselves. What we have done, that I find effective, is to make dates. Rather than a 'chore', we have a date planned. We arrange for a babysitter and spend some time by ourselves. It's rare that this happens, but so very rewarding when it does.

I would hope it is ok to say one admits to liking sex with their spouse. I don't think it's necessarily wrong to enjoy sex with your spouse out of duty and honor to God. All that we do should be because of our duty and honor to God. "In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths." But sex can also be enjoyed for its own sake.

Agreed. If we don't give any healthy sex education to students except 'don't, don't, don't' they will learn unhealthy sex attitudes and habits. When sex education should begin, I'm not sure. Parents should talk to their children when the parents think the children are mature enough to handle it. That's going to be different for each family.

I agree with this whole post...thanks Mal316, couldn't have (and didn't) say it better myself!

[seoulsearch]

Originally Posted by nanabean

Seoulesearch...I am not quite sure what exactly you are looking for in response to this thread, even after having read all your posts on it here, and I did hesitate to even write anything either, but, well, here goes nothing!

I am a very private person in my own way (very outgoing in some ways though too--if that even combines!! hahha!) and talking about my own sex life is ... well, not gonna happen! But I will say this, making love with your spouse should not become a "chore" however, during certain very busy times in a married life, it sometimes does become essential to "set aside" time to BE intimate. Not as a "chore" but as a "looked forward to time" to be together. This can and does apply to even just time together non sexually as well. IE: talking, sharing, being yourselves TOGETHER.

I have NO idea if this "helps" ????? or in any way answers your questions?? but thats all I got!!!! hahaha!! Take care!

Hi Nana--

I always enjoy your posts and thank you for putting up with us young-un's... I can see the poor married folks shaking their heads and thinking, "These poor deluded young folk! All they ever want to talk about is sex! In the singles forum! In the family forum! They're taking over the entire place!"

I do realize this is an extremely private subject matter and I do apologize if I've offended anyone--I appreciate everyone's input and sometimes I forget that some people love NOT talking about things as much as I enjoy throwing out subjects that might make others squeamish...

My main point is that I was dismayed at hearing this (I am assuming) well-known Christian woman on the radio declaring that sex, apparently, to her, was "staring at the ceiling" and fulfilling the service of "serving her husband."

I mean, I was just thinking... a Christian spouse is still a PERSON. Not many people, at least in my own imagination, would find the scenario of their spouse telling them, (robotic, automated phone-system-type voice): "Hello-there. I-am-your-dutiful-Christian-spouse-here-to-fulfill-and-serve-my-Christian-duty-to-you. Let's-have-a-little-romance. BEEP!" (Please leave your message at the tone.)

I guess I was just very disheartened that the answer wasn't more like, "My husband is an amazing person--he is a good provider, helps with the kids, serves in the church, listens to my concerns... and after all these years, he's still got what it takes to make me take one look at him and be like, 'Woo Baby.'"

And I would think Christian wives would want to hear something equally complimentary as welll... resulting in time spent as a couple not as an obligation, chore, or "duty", but something derived out of genuine love, respect, and that feeling of VAVOOM!! This person is so for me and I'm so glad God sent him/her to me!!!

*sighs* Perhaps I'm too much of a raging, idealistic romantic at heart... sorry!!!

I appreciate everyone's input and please feel free to keep posting at will!

[greatkraw]

good post melody

[Matthew]

I can only speak from a singles perspective, but one of the things that bothers me in daily life is the extreme reactions to sex in society, on the one hand it has become rampant and something as freely discussed as the weather with no detail spared for the eager listener, I find that to be awful, but many who don't share that eagerness to be so open often go to the extreme of seeing it as a bad thing not to be discussed in any circumstance, it's all crazy.

When I was attending the local church during my youth we had no youth group at all as myself and my siblings were pretty much it and we got no education on sex from our church leaders even going into our mid-late teenage years, the deafening silence on that and many other topics was one of many reasons I stopped going.

But now as an adult who has partly educated myself I think it's a sad situation when sex is an obligation, this may sound silly but if I got to that point where I felt my wife was getting nothing out of it and seemed to be going through the motions I'd be seriously concerned for the health of our marriage and her happiness, if something as crucial as sex becomes routine then that points to problems, in my mind anyway.

I guess that feeling stems from the fact that many times in a marriage sex would be for the pleasure of it, but many other times the physical act of love and if you participate out of a sense of duty then I guess you aren't feeling the love, but rather the obligation, and eventually you would feel burdened and burdens unresolved don't lead to healthy relationships.

Sex in a marital relationship as an expression of love is a beautiful thing. There are many facets to love in a marriage that can make sex more enjoyable rather than a 'chore' or 'duty' or time spent 'staring at the ceiling.'

Let's look at the word "love" from another angle. The word 'love' in Hebrew is 'ahavah.' The middle letters of ahavah spell 'hav', meaning 'give.' To love another is to give of yourself for that person. Love is not self seeking but serving others. A book I would recommend for guys and especially husbands is "what wives wish their husbands knew about women." It's by James Dobson. It's been around for quite a few years, but the lessons contained therein are still valid today, I think.

Men, if you want your wives happy (and this is the secret to a happy marriage-a happy wife) build up her self esteem. Many factors contribute to battering a woman's self esteem: stress, lack of communication, how they view themselves, how others view them, how they think others view them, (and by this I mean height, weight, looks, dress, hair, makeup-all things visible) not enough time to do all the things they need to get done, not enough time for themselves, not being appreciated, etc. etc.

I believe that women (and I would wager men as well) with high self esteem are more likely to be able to enjoy sex with their spouse. So, what can we as men, as husbands, whose duty it is to bring happiness to our wives do to build up their self esteem?

Remember the word 'hav' (give) from 'ahavah' (love).

Give. Give your attention when she's telling you about her day and maybe takes half an hour to relate a five minute episode because she gets sidetracked and back tracks and starts over. I know because my wife does this. Details are important. You may not know it at the time, but there will be a quiz later.

Give. Give help. Offer to help with dinner, with taking care of the kids, with the dishes. Give without being asked.

Give. Give appreciation. Tell her that she's beautiful. Tell her how much you appreciate her. Compliment her in front of the kids so that the kids see how dads and moms love each other.

Give. Share your day with her. She likes being included in your life. Maybe what you do is not her cup of tea, and maybe she may not understand all the technical aspects of your job, but still she wants to know about you. What interests you? What makes you tick? Maybe something at work made you happy or upset. Share it with her.

Give. Include her in activities. Now, if she has begged off or expressed no desire to do what interests you, that's fine. We cand and should have hobbies that we like to do by ourselves or with our friends that don't include our wives. But if there are actitivies that both of you like to do together, that's time well spent.

Seems like an awful lot of giving. Is there nothing in it for us? Should we just be uxorious and expect nothing in return? On the contrary. I believe that if we give in these ways, our return will be ten, twenty, maybe even a hundred times fold. Here's an old saying that I just made up, blessed is he that gives, for he shall receive.

Here's to happy wives and happy marriages. May your lives be blessed.

[imoss]

My husband & I are together 20 years this summer... married 15. Thats a LONG time, but a short time. Women & men differ in their sexual needs, I've come to see this and accept it. The "new age" thought is that body soul & spirit & mind should be aligned in order for it to happen... if theres any unhappiness at all then this is to be avoided or "hashed out first". This is a LIE that has perpetrated the most toxic marriages & relationships I've ever seen (have a couple friends who believe this) Believe it or not, intimacy heals our small hurts & if we dont heal our small hurts they grow into big huge toxic problems. I submit to my husband and this is absolutely ABSOLUTELY healthy for both of us, because he LOVES me! If he were to deny me a hug it would be likened to me rejecting him sexually. I thank God that when pregnant I had a weird hormonal time that allowed me a bit of insite as to what my husband goes through. Also... when we have our time together & I'm exhausted or whatever I may be feeling before, I decide at that moment to change my mind and focus my thoughts on all the things I soooo love about this man... Instead of the look at the ceiling as your post said & "are you done yet". Thats sad to me. They need physical intimacy like we need hugs and when you stop having physical intimacy or when its reduced at least in my experience, my overall happiness is reduced. I would NEVER in a million years withhold love from my husband. That being said, he is a Loving person who would never ask me when I'm ill or at a bad time. I say to ALL of the young people reject this idea that all the planets must be perfectly aligned and he has to do the perfect prep to getting together. The romance is in loving your spouse... the more you love him... the more he will love you.

For some there is past abuse issues that come into play in this area (seeing your offenders face). I found I prayed to be relieved of that and I made up my mind. I MADE UP MY MIND to not allow my mind to go back in time and to only focus on the beautiful soul who is my husband. It takes time and prayer but this to is overcome! As I am forgiven my past transgression & I have forgiven my past transgressor I allow the blood of the Lamb to wash over me and praise the Lord I am healed of past hurts and the only face I see is my husbands!

[imoss]

Originally Posted by Mal316

Sex in a marital relationship as an expression of love is a beautiful thing. There are many facets to love in a marriage that can make sex more enjoyable rather than a 'chore' or 'duty' or time spent 'staring at the ceiling.'

Let's look at the word "love" from another angle. The word 'love' in Hebrew is 'ahavah.' The middle letters of ahavah spell 'hav', meaning 'give.' To love another is to give of yourself for that person. Love is not self seeking but serving others. A book I would recommend for guys and especially husbands is "what wives wish their husbands knew about women." It's by James Dobson. It's been around for quite a few years, but the lessons contained therein are still valid today, I think.

Men, if you want your wives happy (and this is the secret to a happy marriage-a happy wife) build up her self esteem. Many factors contribute to battering a woman's self esteem: stress, lack of communication, how they view themselves, how others view them, how they think others view them, (and by this I mean height, weight, looks, dress, hair, makeup-all things visible) not enough time to do all the things they need to get done, not enough time for themselves, not being appreciated, etc. etc.

I believe that women (and I would wager men as well) with high self esteem are more likely to be able to enjoy sex with their spouse. So, what can we as men, as husbands, whose duty it is to bring happiness to our wives do to build up their self esteem?

Remember the word 'hav' (give) from 'ahavah' (love).

Give. Give your attention when she's telling you about her day and maybe takes half an hour to relate a five minute episode because she gets sidetracked and back tracks and starts over. I know because my wife does this. Details are important. You may not know it at the time, but there will be a quiz later.

Give. Give help. Offer to help with dinner, with taking care of the kids, with the dishes. Give without being asked.

Give. Give appreciation. Tell her that she's beautiful. Tell her how much you appreciate her. Compliment her in front of the kids so that the kids see how dads and moms love each other.

Give. Share your day with her. She likes being included in your life. Maybe what you do is not her cup of tea, and maybe she may not understand all the technical aspects of your job, but still she wants to know about you. What interests you? What makes you tick? Maybe something at work made you happy or upset. Share it with her.

Give. Include her in activities. Now, if she has begged off or expressed no desire to do what interests you, that's fine. We cand and should have hobbies that we like to do by ourselves or with our friends that don't include our wives. But if there are actitivies that both of you like to do together, that's time well spent.

Seems like an awful lot of giving. Is there nothing in it for us? Should we just be uxorious and expect nothing in return? On the contrary. I believe that if we give in these ways, our return will be ten, twenty, maybe even a hundred times fold. Here's an old saying that I just made up, blessed is he that gives, for he shall receive.

Here's to happy wives and happy marriages. May your lives be blessed.

AWESOME POST Mal... as I read this I saw my husband in so many of the things you stated & laughed out loud about the quiz thing. too funny. I love Dobson too & bought his Love must be tough book for my girlfriend. I think our relationships are all about our attitude. You can choose to love your spouse and give to them and appreciate the ways in which they give to you or you can choose to say whats in it for me... My friends get upset at me for thanking my husband for wiping the floors or helping clear up the kitchen, they say this should be expected... I'm sorry but if I climbed up on a roof with him and torched a few strips I would think he would thank me for trying to help (even if i messed the whole thing up!). To the men: there is nothing more apealing to a woman than when a guy outa the blue cleans the floor or picks up the dishes or sees what she's needing to do next and does it for her when she's stressed.

Oh & another thing.... PLease please please for the sake of ALL spouses everywhere... if you have a shower use it every day!

Originally Posted by imoss

My husband & I are together 20 years this summer... married 15. Thats a LONG time, but a short time. Women & men differ in their sexual needs, I've come to see this and accept it. The "new age" thought is that body soul & spirit & mind should be aligned in order for it to happen... if theres any unhappiness at all then this is to be avoided or "hashed out first". This is a LIE that has perpetrated the most toxic marriages & relationships I've ever seen (have a couple friends who believe this) Believe it or not, intimacy heals our small hurts & if we dont heal our small hurts they grow into big huge toxic problems. I submit to my husband and this is absolutely ABSOLUTELY healthy for both of us, because he LOVES me! If he were to deny me a hug it would be likened to me rejecting him sexually. I thank God that when pregnant I had a weird hormonal time that allowed me a bit of insite as to what my husband goes through. Also... when we have our time together & I'm exhausted or whatever I may be feeling before, I decide at that moment to change my mind and focus my thoughts on all the things I soooo love about this man... Instead of the look at the ceiling as your post said & "are you done yet". Thats sad to me. They need physical intimacy like we need hugs and when you stop having physical intimacy or when its reduced at least in my experience, my overall happiness is reduced. I would NEVER in a million years withhold love from my husband. That being said, he is a Loving person who would never ask me when I'm ill or at a bad time. I say to ALL of the young people reject this idea that all the planets must be perfectly aligned and he has to do the perfect prep to getting together. The romance is in loving your spouse... the more you love him... the more he will love you.

For some there is past abuse issues that come into play in this area (seeing your offenders face). I found I prayed to be relieved of that and I made up my mind. I MADE UP MY MIND to not allow my mind to go back in time and to only focus on the beautiful soul who is my husband. It takes time and prayer but this to is overcome! As I am forgiven my past transgression & I have forgiven my past transgressor I allow the blood of the Lamb to wash over me and praise the Lord I am healed of past hurts and the only face I see is my husbands!

Excellent post, imoss.

Your last paragraph reminds of Paul's exhortation at Philippians 3:13-14 "forgetting that which is behind, straining toward what is ahead, I press on towards the goal."

[joint-heir]

I WAS NEVER LIVING FOR GOD IN EITHER OF MY MARRIAGES

AS FAR AS I AM CONCERNED
MY WIVES AND I BOTH ROCKED EACH OTHERS WORLDS
WITHOUT FEELING IT WAS A CHORE OR SOMETHING WE HAD TO DO

I AM VERY LOVING AND INTIMATE WHEN I AM INVOLVED
BUT
I ALSO WAS LOVING TO OTHER LADIES TO AS I WAS MARRIED

I AM THANKFUL NOW EVEN THOUGH I AM DIVORCED AND SINGLE
NONE OF THE LADIES I KNEW WHILE STEPPING OUT OF MY MARRIAGE
I NO LONGER PURSUE
AND
I AM ACTUALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO A RELATIONSHIP
WHERE I AM NOT ONLY FAITHFUL TO GOD BUT ALSO TO MY WIFE

AND I WILL ROCK HER WORLD
BY LEADING HER SPIRITUALLY AND PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY

[imoss]

and loving her! :0)

[seoulsearch]

I really appreciate everyone's posts, especially Imoss and Mal316... very insightful and helpful. I especially liked what Imoss said about making the choice of what to see or how to approach a situation instead of letting our own mind, feelings, or past control us, as these issues are so prevalent for both men and women.

My parents have been together since they were 13 and 15 years old. They married at the age of 19 and 21, and I grew up hearing the, "We were virgins when we got married," speech more times than I care to count. My Mom says she wouldn't know what a condom was if she stepped over one on the sidewalk.

All these years later, they still hold hands in public. When we go to restaurants, my Dad will look at her adoringly, pat her on the knee, and ask, "What'll you have, my love?"

I remember as a kid, my Mom was trying to tell a blonde joke once (no offense to anyone out there, as my Mom used to have blonde highlights put into her hair!) and said, "What makes a blonde's eyes light up?" And my Dad smiled mischievously and answered, "Well, I know what makes YOUR eyes light up..."

As a kid, you're like, EEEEEWWW!!! But my Mom always said, "Would you rather see us kissing, or fighting?"

This past summer, both my parents had to have major surgeries. When Mom was in the hospital, I called every day to check on her and we were discussing Dad's upcoming surgery. In the background, I heard my Dad say, "Yeah, I'll need someone to wait on me hand and foot," and my Mom dryly replied, "Oh, he'll get a foot all right!! And a hand, too." My parents are endlessly amusing!!!

But, I hope to have a love exactly like theirs... someday!!

[greatkraw]

these koreans seem to get good marriages

maybe Brenna should find herself a korean bloke