racism amd relationships

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
M

MyLighthouse

Guest
#21
Racism is not going anywhere and interracial couples will always have to deal with these types of issues at some point. I don't believe it will be a problem from her side of the family because thus far everyone I have met from her family is quite fond of me. I really do not understand why some of them are like that because I know my grandfather taught them better than that. Hey ran a service station / in the black side of town and when he passed away there were more black people at his funeral then white. Actually I associate with that side of the family as little as possible because they all seem to act snobbish. My mother and brother are supportive of us and so are some of cousins.
Sounds like the main people are supportive. And based on your background the rest will come along eventually. I mean my mom's side were the first to start KKK in their area and many of them are accepting now (many aren't on both sides, but that's typical).
 
V

Viligant_Warrior

Guest
#22
I am white, my fiance is black. Some of my family are racist against black people. This makes her uncomfortable. I am trying to convince her to just ignore all that negativity. I dont care if the entire world is against us as long as we love each other. Have any of you ever experienced this?..oh and to my racist family members...if you cant be happy for me, then smooch my rump and loose my phone number. I have already unfriended some from facebook
I understand your anger at your family, Dude, and I truly sympathize with you. I'm white, and I can't begin to understand the emotions that go through your fiancé's mind and spirit when she hears ugliness like that. Unfortunately, there will always be what I call "ethnicists" among us -- we are only one race, human, and the term "racist" is a continuation of the kind of divide we're trying to overcome.

Can we pray for you and your fiancé in any specific way, or would you prefer the prayers to simply be for peace in her heart about your pending marriage and your family's willingness to overcome their prejudice? I truly will pray for your happiness and contentment in becoming one flesh with her, that you may both honor and glorify God in all that you do.
 
M

Miri

Guest
#23
To the OP Aw hon, I just wish you could see what it was like in my church, it
would blow you away. People from all nations worshipping together,
having fellowship together, inter racial marriages etc.

I just wish you could see what it is like in my town, no one would
even bat an eyelid at a mixed couple being together.

Praying for you
 

mochi

Senior Member
May 26, 2015
923
38
28
#24
I hate racism too.. Grrrr...
But if you are planing to married her:
1. make sure that your family and her family agree, it can affect your family relationship in the future even after you got married and have kids
2. are you sure in the 10-20 years later you still OK with the difference???

I'm asking because my parent from different culture, and yes my dad's family argue a lot at first (but they are good now).. AND after 10-20 years of marriage they got many thing in argue related of racism because of the difference and i often got frustrated and depressed hear them argued.. sadly both of them has different religion and both not Christian.. i even think if they never meet and never marriage.. hehee.. but i'm not thinking that way now.. i already change! (i think)

Not enough with that, when a man try to get close to me they always ask me about my heritage (mix), from which family etc etc.. and thats apply to other parent too!

It hurts me a lot at first, but not now.. like above poster said we had 1 race.. human race.. lol..
In God's eyes we are 1 family ;)

You should think carefully before married.. its not just about both of you.. but its about your and her family and your future kids too..
If you think you and your gf okk with that then go ahead.. racism is stupid!

Good news, if both of you are Christian then you'll for sure walk with God and all things are possible! Praying for you and God bless you :)
 
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
0
#25
May I say this is totally impractical? "1. make sure that your family and her family agree, it can affect your family relationship in the future even after you got married and have kids".

Instead, as you WARNED, I would recommend YOU would need to be sure YOU would agree with them (which has too many chances to fail) because, when ppl get married, YOU married one single person (not their family neither the children of other marriages) BUT, chances are they would LOVE YOU MORE than previous inlaws or previous spouses THEY could have had.

I dislike racism but, as any type of discrimination, family or lovers, would also check your social and economic brackground to "see" who you are, OURWARDLY and, by doing that, they are blind to important things like: Who is it THIS in his/her mind or FAITH?

What you´ve believed it is what you do: That´s what really matters (at least for me).

Notice, as for an example, Michael Jackson sung: "It doesn´t matter if you are black or white..."

Ok! That is what he SAID but, sometime later, he changed the COLOR of his skin AND the factions of his face...

Was he coherent with what he said, and with what he did?

You know it!

But I´m black and I´m also white... And that´s NOT what matters, but the things we´re DOING WITH OUR BELIEFS.
 
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
0
#26
I am white, my fiance is black. Some of my family are racist against black people. This makes her uncomfortable. I am trying to convince her to just ignore all that negativity. I dont care if the entire world is against us as long as we love each other. Have any of you ever experienced this?..oh and to my racist family members...if you cant be happy for me, then smooch my rump and loose my phone number. I have already unfriended some from facebook
I like you, Dude!

When I was to be married the only ONE I consulted in my family was God.

If I was wrong, I misinterpreted what I thought He was telling me about. If I thought I needed to know who I was marrying, I followed all I have, at hand´s reach, becasue nobody knows ppl´s hearts (or minds) by the color of their skins.

The night of that wedding, my mom and sister appeared without my invitation, becasue the one I invited was the woman I proposed to be marred with (I´m happy she didn´t missed me, that time).

May the Lord guide both of you!

I enjoy that marriage shortly, although we were marred for 13 years (the difference was not the color, but our Christian differing beliefs)
 
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
0
#27
To the OP Aw hon, I just wish you could see what it was like in my church, it
would blow you away. People from all nations worshipping together,
having fellowship together, inter racial marriages etc.

I just wish you could see what it is like in my town, no one would
even bat an eyelid at a mixed couple being together.

Praying for you

If they were short like pinguins (a)



or as poor as church mice (b)



Will they be the same? (just thinking at these social disferences James spoke about in his letter)
 
A

AgeofKnowledge

Guest
#28
A number of studies assert that people prefer the company of their own race. In social studies, this is part of a larger area of study surrounding "in-group bias" (see here).

Social identity theory posits a psychological drive for positively distinct social identities as the general root cause of this in-group favoring behavior. But there are other views.

In any event, whatever the reason, the teachings of Christ are rooted clearly in both in and out group affirmation with respect to race. Marry outside of your race if you like and may God bless your union.


I really do not understand why some of them are like that because I know my grandfather taught them better than that.
 
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
0
#29
Hmm!

Where that survey was taken?

How many ppl were interviewed?

Were they "Christians" or radical believers? (such as Jewish or JW´s ppl)

One single "black" (or "white") country?

How INTERNATIONAL was the scope of that poll?

When was it done? (1966 or 2010?)

I was not interviewed! Ha! Ha!

I don´t even like "my" own ppl!
 
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
0
#30
Well! that´s wikipedia but, this would show why one "race" group would not like another "race" (or skin color)

PS

Just read this: Social identity theory

Nothing proved?
 
E

EdisonTrent

Guest
#32
I think it's just another example how God uses ways for others to bend to exceptness, he already knew some of the family wouldn't except two different races being together in this case black and white. He knows you and her find all races beautiful least that's want I'm feeling here from your post. Don't give up hope be patient it's very possible that after time these people will except her after they know how much a good person she is, then that will change their whole mind set on race. God plans things placing two people together who are meant for each other is one example and then changes a multitude of mind sets all at the same time. If they don't change their loss they don't get to hang out with another beautiful couple. In the end it's the book of life that will be open in front of them as we all have one that will be read to us some longer then others.
 
M

Mitspa

Guest
#33
A number of studies assert that people prefer the company of their own race. In social studies, this is part of a larger area of study surrounding "in-group bias" (see here).

Social identity theory posits a psychological drive for positively distinct social identities as the general root cause of this in-group favoring behavior. But there are other views.

In any event, whatever the reason, the teachings of Christ are rooted clearly in both in and out group affirmation with respect to race. Marry outside of your race if you like and may God bless your union.
The whole idea that whites are the only folks that regard race is just insanity and liberal propaganda....Yes whites have held power in this world and have oppressed other races with that power....but blacks and other races are just as prone to racist ideas.
 
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
0
#34
And those "ideas" are fueled and "boosted" with "religions" and political racism.

What a world I have to run from!

Spaniards conquered HALF America (not USA) thinking they were "humans" while native AMERICANS were seen as "things".

Do history lie, on this, too?

Happily, verifiable evidence exist, today.
 
P

Practice-English

Guest
#35
I am white, my fiance is black. Some of my family are racist against black people. This makes her uncomfortable. I am trying to convince her to just ignore all that negativity. I dont care if the entire world is against us as long as we love each other. Have any of you ever experienced this?..oh and to my racist family members...if you cant be happy for me, then smooch my rump and loose my phone number. I have already unfriended some from facebook

I just can tell you,
That I'm Chinese and in Quebec
people can be really racist too...
 
A

AgeofKnowledge

Guest
#36
The Christian worldview is wholly inclusive on the basis of race. Now people, on the other hand...
;)

The whole idea that whites are the only folks that regard race is just insanity and liberal propaganda....Yes whites have held power in this world and have oppressed other races with that power....but blacks and other races are just as prone to racist ideas.
 

Dude653

Senior Member
Mar 19, 2011
12,312
1,039
113
#37
Hmm!

Where that survey was taken?

How many ppl were interviewed?

Were they "Christians" or radical believers? (such as Jewish or JW´s ppl)

One single "black" (or "white") country?

How INTERNATIONAL was the scope of that poll?

When was it done? (1966 or 2010?)

I was not interviewed! Ha! Ha!

I don´t even like "my" own ppl!
It appears that you are just trolling me but my point is that my grandfather taught to them better than that. Their religious or political views are no excuse for immoral behavior
 
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
0
#38
I just can tell you,
That I'm Chinese and in Quebec
people can be really racist too...
You would be shocked in Venezuela! Although I like Asian ppl, those who are here, ignored most of the ppl they should pay an average degree of attention (most of the Chinese ppl have shops, where they sell things) and, when you are asking the price of the things you´d like to buy, they OFTEN do not look at your face and do not say, at least, "Good morning".

It is my impression, from my whole life experience, that most of them are segregative and, if you have done personal investigation, you really would know how they have dealt personal "differences"...

I´m happy that, to may personal joy, I have found few Chinese ppl I have enjoyed sharing, in those are countable, with the fingers of one hand. If they only knew several ppl like them, they would open up their hearts... <3
 
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
0
#39
It appears that you are just trolling me but my point is that my grandfather taught to them better than that. Their religious or political views are no excuse for immoral behavior
No, sir!

In my own family there were black ppl with green and blue eyes... That is NOT an accident.

Let me find one of my kids pictures, later on.
 
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
0
#40
These are shown for the sake of loving ppl, the way they are (although I have set my own limits)

Family 1999.jpg

These are Josh, Elisha and JoshEli (she´s gone, now) Her eyes were blue, as I feel now... :(

This is SH with a beautiful collegue :)

Bcoo Ccs.jpg

If you had a close look at Josh´s nose, at the left of Alex´s hand (next pic) you would realize Josh has several "black" genes I also have.

Flia.jpg

PS

My kids are all from the same mother, by the way.