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Christian Family Forum

Discuss family topics/issues, and give and receive encouragement here.

Thread: Parents Help

  1. #1

    Unhappy Parents Help

    I have a problem with my parents. The bring out the worst in me. They make me very angry and make me hate myself. They constantly nag and make me do things, yet they are never satisfied. I get asked everyl semester if I am going to have a 4.0. They want me to be in top physical condition and my dad nags me to train for a marathon and they tell me that I am fat. My mom thinks that I am her slave and constantly nags me to do things and tells me I am lazy. Basically they expect me to be perfect so they are never going to be happy with me.

    I do help around the house and do most of what they ask of me. I get pretty good grades; last semester I got a 3.7 GPA. I am in pretty good physical condition, not over weight or anything like that. Yet all that is not good enough for them. Then they always pull the "As a Christian you always need to try harder to make yourself better" and they say others Christian related things to make me feel guilty and bad about myself.

    I have never been a defiant kid or anything like that. I have done so much for them and have always tried hard to please them. I try to be strong in my faith, but when my parents make me angry that hurts me.

    There is no use talking to them because they are too "high and mighty" to ever admit that they are wrong. I honestly don't recall them ever admitting that they were wrong even over the most trivial of matters.

    I don't know what to do, please help me.

  2. #2

    Default Re: Parents Help

    Hi Sheep...I'll take a stab at it. First, I'm a parent (in the interest of full disclosure!) so I might have a bias. I obviously don't know everything going on and only hear one side of the story. I'm going to assume everything you said is objectively accurate and not skewed by perception. (This is natural, something we all do). I would say you seem to be frustrated. The Word advises parents not to frustrate their children but I'm certain all parents do it at times. I'm sure my kids would agree with that statement! I would guess there is an issue your parents are trying to address, and they may need to take a different approach.Sometimes when the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail.

    Take some time alone with each parent and discuss your perceptions. Don't point fingers or accuse; instead tell them how you feel. Find out what their expectations are exactly, and what you may be doing that is failing to meet those expectations. Be prepared to LISTEN, then discuss whether the expectations are achievable. They may think you are more capable than you do. Tell them that you feel frustrated and be prepared to admit that there are times you may not put in your best effort. This is understandable (we all do it, including parents). Let them know you want to cooperate but need some feedback method to discuss issues without being put down for it.

    I'm sure your parents love you very much, but parents are people and not infallible. Be prepared to forgive them when they fall short also. Assume they are doing the best they can. Tell them you're interested in the wisdom of proverbs, and would like to discuss it with them. Find some time to laugh and tell them you love them. It's easy to get locked into frustration and forget to say the important things.

    Tell them you love them everyday, after every phone call, in the morning and before going to bed. If you disagree with a decision, comply first then discuss so you can talk about the issue instead of whether or not to be obedient. Understand their view is based on more experience so the goal is probably right for you; the issue is the methods.

    Being a teen is hard, and parents sometimes forget that. Home has to be a place where you don't have to be cool, don't have to run with the crowd...a place to be safe. You can help make it that way by giving your parents the easiest road to keeping it loving.

    I know it's hard to see sometimes...go to God often, His word and in prayer. Give it to Him.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Parents Help

    They sound like they don't want you to be like them........ Pray for them and just keep ya chin up-you can see God's plans for you better that way. P>S> Sounds like you are a fine young man-keep up the good work....

  4. #4

    Default Re: Parents Help

    Well it sounds to me that your parents want you to be them. They are living their dreams through you. I would tell them straight up how you feel. Tell them you are not fat, and you do not want to run a marathon. The best advice I can give is to continue to do good in school and that way you will be able to get out of the house faster. If they are this hard headed that they can not even listen to what you have to say there isn't much you can do. How old are you? Ever think about joining the military? That is what I did and it was the best decision of my life. I got out of my town when I was 19 and have been all over the world many times. Just tell them that you are not them and you do not automatically like everything they like, and you don't want to do everything they want to do. Tell them what your interest are.

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