Abortion and God's grace

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atwhatcost

Guest
#81
She's not genuine. Her question exposes her hypocrisy. It's kinda like wolf in sheep's clothing. This time, however, the OP didn't cover her rear end. And that I ain't going to slap. But could it be that is her .... I ain't saying it. :eek:
This is something like your fifth or sixth post that only goes with your opinion all wrapped in "in truth."

Do you know me yet? Have you seen me around the forums enough to know who I am and what I believe? Do you think I might possibly be a Christian? (Hard to know for sure with anyone but we can get up to "possibly?") If you can say Yes, then here's some "truth" for you. The first time you ever said anything to me you told me I couldn't possibly be a Christian.

Wake up! Rarely are you speaking full truth. Always you speak of your opinion and then pretend you speak for God.

If you want to keep playing these games, not a problem, but would you quit pretending you are the vessel for all truth. Go play where someone with a serious problem doesn't have to wasted time reading your constant need to be "truthfully" all the time. You're not gifted with truth yet.

She's not genuine? Do you even know what you mean? (And don't answer that. Go play in your own sandbox.) This was never the time for you to judge how covered up her rear end is, nor was it time for you to keep coming back to cover yours.
 
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atwhatcost

Guest
#82
I am praying every single person here who said getting an abortion is OKAY be struck dumb and blind for 3 days! In the name of JESUS!
You do that then. Every single ONE person. (I have no idea how someone prays for every single person but doesn't realize it's only one person.) And we'll wait to see if your prayer was in God's will.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
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#83
I think what baffles most of us is the fact that she stated she HAS been longing for another child, and now she's pregnant and God gave her her wish, and now she wants an abortion. Then she should have considered ALL the risks BEFORE she got pregnant again, AND she should have taken greater care to use birth control so she would NOT get pregnant if she wasn't absolutely 100% sure that she wanted another kid. Now she's pregnant, which is what she wanted, and now it's messing up her "settled" status.

I understand she had health problems before, and she's worried now, BUT coming online and asking if God's grace will cover her blatant sin of abortion to justify it is just wrong. Maybe her and hubby should either use protection next time, or stop having sex altogether. Heaven forbid if she gets pregnant again, after this. If she had been smart and thought ahead, this whole ordeal she's in now probably wouldn't have happened. I truly hope she and hubby DO decide to KEEP this baby.

If not, they know the consequences they face.. And hopefully they will smarten up and start using protection to prevent this from happening again.
 
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Galahad

Guest
#84
You do that then. Every single ONE person. (I have no idea how someone prays for every single person but doesn't realize it's only one person.) And we'll wait to see if your prayer was in God's will.
You're what's wrong with the world.

You attack those who present truth, but defend those who murder, and lie, and deceive. You've got to be a liberal. Cuddly little teddy bears.

Now shut it! :eek:

You've dropped plenty of sewer already.
 
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Galahad

Guest
#85
This is something like your fifth or sixth post that only goes with your opinion all wrapped in "in truth."

Do you know me yet? Have you seen me around the forums enough to know who I am and what I believe? Do you think I might possibly be a Christian? (Hard to know for sure with anyone but we can get up to "possibly?") If you can say Yes, then here's some "truth" for you. The first time you ever said anything to me you told me I couldn't possibly be a Christian.

Wake up! Rarely are you speaking full truth. Always you speak of your opinion and then pretend you speak for God.

If you want to keep playing these games, not a problem, but would you quit pretending you are the vessel for all truth. Go play where someone with a serious problem doesn't have to wasted time reading your constant need to be "truthfully" all the time. You're not gifted with truth yet.

She's not genuine? Do you even know what you mean? (And don't answer that. Go play in your own sandbox.) This was never the time for you to judge how covered up her rear end is, nor was it time for you to keep coming back to cover yours.
atwhatcost - you can't handle the cost - pay close attention to the contradictions and the blatant disregard for God's word and His guidance.

I consider myself to be an ardent Christian, I became a more evangelical Christian about two years ago when I changed churches to a more modern contemporary church who helped me to realise that I was forgiven. Since then I have become a changed person.

Now watch. Here's the changed person she is, here's the ardent Christian:

sooooo with all of my history I am now panicking and I have pretty much made up my mind that I want an abortion.

if I have an abortion while being an active Christian and commit this sin knowingly going against God am I still forgiven?

Also, she joined a contemporary church and they helped her realize she is forgiven.
So then why not just have the abortion, she's forgiven.

The whole post is contradictory.

That's not ardent Christian.
 
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kaylagrl

Guest
#86
I think what baffles most of us is the fact that she stated she HAS been longing for another child, and now she's pregnant and God gave her her wish, and now she wants an abortion. Then she should have considered ALL the risks BEFORE she got pregnant again, AND she should have taken greater care to use birth control so she would NOT get pregnant if she wasn't absolutely 100% sure that she wanted another kid. Now she's pregnant, which is what she wanted, and now it's messing up her "settled" status.

I understand she had health problems before, and she's worried now, BUT coming online and asking if God's grace will cover her blatant sin of abortion to justify it is just wrong. Maybe her and hubby should either use protection next time, or stop having sex altogether. Heaven forbid if she gets pregnant again, after this. If she had been smart and thought ahead, this whole ordeal she's in now probably wouldn't have happened. I truly hope she and hubby DO decide to KEEP this baby.

If not, they know the consequences they face.. And hopefully they will smarten up and start using protection to prevent this from happening again.

I agree that things she said are not adding up.She is not making sense but only she knows the truth.I hope she gets real help.None of us here are professionals.We dont know her personally. Ive said the same thing as you said,she knew the risk why try again? Why did she long for a child and now not want it? Only she can answer but she probably wont.Either way I hope she gets help and does not abort.I will be surprised if she does come back,but we will see.
 
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Galahad

Guest
#87
FOUR years ago she almost died because of pregnancy.
TWO years ago she became a changed person, learned she was forgiven, and is now an ardent Christian.
Afterwards, she and her husband tried to have another child. (Certainly, an ardent Christian is going to pray for a child.)
TWO weeks ago, she learned she's pregnant. The Lord answered her prayers.
NOW she's MADE UP HER MIND: Abort the baby that the Lord has blessed her with.

atwhatcost, you defend that nonsense!
 
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Galahad

Guest
#88
I am praying every single person here who said getting an abortion is OKAY be struck dumb and blind for 3 days! In the name of JESUS!
LOL.
ROFL.
My question is: why only 3 days? Go for a good solid 10 days. :eek:
 
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Galahad

Guest
#89
atwhatcost,
I know you keep count of my posts. Thank you. Well, Kaylagrl posted this: "I agree that things she said are not adding up."

Now since she brought up adding, I posted:

FOUR years ago she almost died because of pregnancy.
TWO years ago she became a changed person, learned she was forgiven, and is now an ardent Christian.
Afterwards, she and her husband tried to have another child. (Certainly, an ardent Christian is going to pray for a child.)
TWO weeks ago, she learned she's pregnant. The Lord answered her prayers.
NOW she's MADE UP HER MIND: Abort the baby that the Lord has blessed her with.

atwhatcost, you defend that nonsense!
 
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Galahad

Guest
#90
This is something like your fifth or sixth post that only goes with your opinion all wrapped in "in truth."

Do you know me yet? Have you seen me around the forums enough to know who I am and what I believe? Do you think I might possibly be a Christian? (Hard to know for sure with anyone but we can get up to "possibly?") If you can say Yes, then here's some "truth" for you. The first time you ever said anything to me you told me I couldn't possibly be a Christian.

Wake up! Rarely are you speaking full truth. Always you speak of your opinion and then pretend you speak for God.

If you want to keep playing these games, not a problem, but would you quit pretending you are the vessel for all truth. Go play where someone with a serious problem doesn't have to wasted time reading your constant need to be "truthfully" all the time. You're not gifted with truth yet.

She's not genuine? Do you even know what you mean? (And don't answer that. Go play in your own sandbox.) This was never the time for you to judge how covered up her rear end is, nor was it time for you to keep coming back to cover yours.
Now to respond to your specific statements and questions. My pleasure.

Regarding your first statement, I can say this about your wacky ideas. They are altogether based on feelings and emotions. Little substance.

Then you ask: "Do you know me yet?" Now that's a tough question. Tell you why. I know you've attacked new comers. From the get go. Seen some of their responses to you. I know you are frugal and concerned about cost of things. I know you like teddy bears. By the way, those two teddy bears are cute. Especially the little guy just peering out at us. Cute. :eek:

Concerning my first statement to you. Well, I don't recall. But if I did, then it was for good reason. You probably said something that revealed an ungodly and unloving heart.

About my heart. You judge that. You say I pretend to speak for God. Now what gave you that impression? Oh, because my responses are usually directing folks to the bible. It's not what we say that matters, but what the bible says. I won't quit that. Never.

You tell me I rarely speak full truth. Well, if speak some truth and you don't like it, I can't begin to phantom your breakdown if I spoke full truth.

My sandbox. You know about that? Well of course you do. That explains the poop in it.

You don't want me to cover my rear end! atwhatcost don't you want me to cover my rear end? :eek:

Now regarding this (woman, but no lady.) I don't know why you are not a lady but just a woman. There's a lot of confusion these days about identity. Don't know why, but it seems folks aren't happy with their gender. So you are a woman. You are not a lady. I'll just move on to the next point.

Do I know you yet? You don't like folks who present truth. You are not a lady. You want me to keep my rear end exposed. And you defend the most glaring contradictions.

You like cute bears. They are something else. The adult bear looks tired. I bet she (he) has had her claws full of keeping that cub in line. :eek:
 

Jimbone

Senior Member
Aug 22, 2014
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#91
I just wanted to share my point of view on this matter. Theonly reason I was even born and wasn't my mother's 2nd abortion was because ofthe extreme guilt she felt for the first one. I thank God for that she felt soguilty, and it didn't stop her from leaving me with my father before I was one.So no guilt for her and she still got to go do her own thing. As far as therisk to your health goes, that is very hard for me, as a man, to really commenton really, but I have two boys and I know I would die for either one of them ifany situation arises and I could choose to make it my life for theirs, Iwouldn't second guess myself for a second and take the leap. I would choose todie if it meant they live. Now please understand I realize how easy it is forme to sit here and tell what "I'd do" without honestly being facedwith the real event. I'm not trying to be judgmental or make it sound like youaren't facing an impossible situation, that I thank God I haven't had to face.Just trust in Him and let His love and the Spirit inside you guide. I also wantto applaud you for putting this on here to discuss, because it can't beoverstated what a hard position you're in. I will pray God leads you into Hiswill. We love you and if there is ANYTHING I can do to help please just ask, ifI'm capable I will help, or help find someone who can.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
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#92
I just wanted to share my point of view on this matter. Theonly reason I was even born and wasn't my mother's 2nd abortion was because ofthe extreme guilt she felt for the first one. I thank God for that she felt soguilty, and it didn't stop her from leaving me with my father before I was one.So no guilt for her and she still got to go do her own thing. As far as therisk to your health goes, that is very hard for me, as a man, to really commenton really, but I have two boys and I know I would die for either one of them ifany situation arises and I could choose to make it my life for theirs, Iwouldn't second guess myself for a second and take the leap. I would choose todie if it meant they live. Now please understand I realize how easy it is forme to sit here and tell what "I'd do" without honestly being facedwith the real event. I'm not trying to be judgmental or make it sound like youaren't facing an impossible situation, that I thank God I haven't had to face.Just trust in Him and let His love and the Spirit inside you guide. I also wantto applaud you for putting this on here to discuss, because it can't beoverstated what a hard position you're in. I will pray God leads you into Hiswill. We love you and if there is ANYTHING I can do to help please just ask, ifI'm capable I will help, or help find someone who can.
That's just the thing though. She is NOT facing an "impossible situation." She's been wanting another kid, and they've been trying for one, and now that she IS pregnant, she wants an abortion because it might mess up her "settled" life.. I know she's worried and confused, but c'mon now. If she wasn't absolutely positive she wanted another baby, then her and hubby shouldn't have been trying to make one. She got what she longed for: a baby.. She and husband should have considered the pros and cons of having another baby first, before actually making one. If she would read her bible and ask GOD'S opinion/ answer, instead of OURS, she would KNOW what the right thing to do here is.
 

Pres19

Senior Member
Nov 27, 2013
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#93
Anon, I'm not sure if you'll see this or if you'll be back online or not but..

I would suggest talking to a pastor from your church.
I think there is alot more going on and you need to speak to someone, one on one and not ask random people online. (Not saying its a bad thing you did)
I'd talk to someone, one on one before making a decision.
You're only 2 weeks. Give yourself time to think about it.
If you're looking for God's grace and forgiveness, well honestly none of us can help with that. (Some will disagree I know) but speaking to a pastor, study God's word and deep prayer might help give you the answers you're looking for.
 
Jan 27, 2015
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#94
To the OP:

I know that you had physical and mental health issues resulting from the first pregnancy, but abortion has physical and mental health risks as well. So it looks like the decision comes down to health risks while the baby that you've prayed for all this time has a chance to live vs. another set of health risks and your long-awaited, blessing baby will surely die. That's how I see it anyway. I pray you make the right choice.
 
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kaylagrl

Guest
#95
There has been a debate back and forth here.Ive tried to clarify my belief here but it seems to no avail.Music has always been a big part of my life.A song can sometimes be a sermon set to music.So I thought I would share a song Phil Keaggy wrote years ago.I never forgot it and I was very young when I first heard it.It sums up my total belief about abortion.

Lyrics to Little OnesWho will speak up for the little ones?
Helpless and half-abandoned.
They've got the right to choose life
They don't want to lose,
I've got to speak up, won't you?

Equal rights, equal time, for the unborn children.
Their precious lives are on the line,
How can we be rid of them?
Passing laws, passing out
Bills and new amendments.
Pay the cost and turn about,
And face the young defendants.

Who will speak up for the little ones?
Helpless and half-abandoned.
They've got the right to choose life
They don't want to lose,
I've got to speak up, won't you?

Many come and many go,
Conceived but not delivered.
The toll is astronomical,
How can we be indifferent.

Little hands, little feet,
Tears for Him who made you.
Should all on earth forsake you now,
But He'll never forsake you.

Who will speak up for the little ones?
Helpless and half-abandoned.
They've got the right to choose life
They don't want to lose,
I've got to speak up, won't you?

Forming hearts, forming minds,
Quenched before awakened,
For so many deliberate crimes
The earth will soon be shaken.

Little hands, little feet,
Tears for Him who made you.
Should all on earth forsake you now,
But He'll never forsake you.

Who will speak up for the little ones?
Helpless and half-abandoned.
They've got the right to choose life
They don't want to lose,
I've got to speak up, won't you?



Ive got to speak up,will you?
 

Jimbone

Senior Member
Aug 22, 2014
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#96
That's just the thing though. She is NOT facing an "impossible situation." She's been wanting another kid, and they've been trying for one, and now that she IS pregnant, she wants an abortion because it might mess up her "settled" life.. I know she's worried and confused, but c'mon now. If she wasn't absolutely positive she wanted another baby, then her and hubby shouldn't have been trying to make one. She got what she longed for: a baby.. She and husband should have considered the pros and cons of having another baby first, before actually making one. If she would read her bible and ask GOD'S opinion/ answer, instead of OURS, she would KNOW what the right thing to do here is.
I understand that and agree to a big extent, I really do, but at this point all I care about is the baby, and pointing fingers and waving it away will not help that baby. This world is confusing and makes no sense a lot of the time and it’s not that big a stretch that she may have been told 100 different things by 100 different people. I also know she could very well have just come here to start this kind of "stuff”, but I'm going to approach it the way I think Jesus would want me to regardless, and in a loving way so if it is real, it may actually get through and help. I don't disagree with your assessment or logic at all, and it is more than likely the case, but just in case it's not, I am going to respond in love so if there is any chance it might help save a baby then it’s out there. That's all I wasn't trying to do, not accuse anyone or play "high and mighty" or anything like that. This is one of the biggest problems I hate about doing this kind of thing online, you can’t look people in the eyes and watch their body language to help make these things more apparent.
 
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BarlyGurl

Guest
#97
"You shall not murder" Ex.20:13

Joshua 24:15King James Version (KJV)
[SUP]15 [/SUP]And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

How much more severely do you think someone deserves to be punished who has trampled the Son of God underfoot, who has treated as an unholy thing the blood of the covenant that sanctified them, and who has insulted the Spirit of grace? Heb. 10:29

2 Timothy 4:3-4 ESV
For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths.


2 Peter 2:1-22 ESV
But false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you, who will secretly bring in destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing upon themselves swift destruction. And many will follow their sensuality, and because of them the way of truth will be blasphemed. And in their greed they will exploit you with false words. Their condemnation from long ago is not idle, and their destruction is not asleep. For if God did not spare angels when they sinned, but cast them into hell and committed them to chains of gloomy darkness to be kept until the judgment; if he did not spare the ancient world, but preserved Noah, a herald of righteousness, with seven others, when he brought a flood upon the world of the ungodly; ...

John 8:44 ESV
You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father's desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and has nothing to do with the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies.

Revelation 2:2 ESV
“‘I know your works, your toil and your patient endurance, and how you cannot bear with those who are evil, but have tested those who call themselves apostles and are not, and found them to be false.

Ephesians 5:11 ESV
Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.

Jude 1:1-25 ESV
Jude, a servant of Jesus Christ and brother of James, To those who are called, beloved in God the Father and kept for Jesus Christ: May mercy, peace, and love be multiplied to you. Beloved, although I was very eager to write to you about our common salvation, I found it necessary to write appealing to you to contend for the faith that was once for all delivered to the saints. For certain people have crept in unnoticed who long ago were designated for this condemnation, ungodly people, who pervert the grace of our God into sensuality and deny our only Master and Lord, Jesus Christ. Now I want to remind you, although you once fully knew it, that Jesus, who saved a people out of the land of Egypt, afterward destroyed those who did not believe.

1 Corinthians 10:15 ESV
I speak as to sensible people; judge for yourselves what I say
 

HoneyDew

Senior Member
Apr 30, 2011
2,308
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#98
2 Timothy 2:24-26 And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, in humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth, and that they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive by him to do his will.

Romans 3:23 for all have sin and fall short of the glory of God.

James 1:5
If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.


The OP is on medication, she obviously is struggling with physical and mental health issues that may be throwing her reasoning skills off.
I hope the OP and her husband seeks professional and wise counsel and pray before making any decisions. What's done is done. We can should have, could have all day long it won't change what has happened. We all have done things that we may have regretted or not so proud of. It may not be the same thing but something. If not, keep living.

I am Pro Life all the way. Although I may agree with some of what was said it was HOW it was said that I didn't agree with. Some were kind and gracious in their response even though the did not agree with abortion and some were overly aggressive and hurtful. It turned into a who is right fight.

Colossians 4:6
6 Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.

Proverbs 10:12
Hatred stirs up strife, But love covers all sins.

I will leave this with the OP

Proverbs 3:5-6
5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Please seek professional(doctors) and spiritual (Pastor) help to better navigate through your circumstance. Peace to you.





 
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BenFTW

Senior Member
Oct 7, 2012
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#99
I have read accusations that people here are presenting grace and that we are saying that its okay to kill the unborn baby. By no means has anyone stated this. God's grace being sufficient for the sin in our life and committing sin because ,"Why not?", are two completely different mindsets. Grace does not empower us to sin, but teaches us to deny ungodliness. It also gives us victory over sin. When we sin, indeed, the blood of Christ cleanses us.

However, telling someone that God's grace is sufficient (and it is) might be hard when confronted with the reality of what they are currently doing, or plan to do. How do you tell people sleeping with temple prostitutes that they are saints and Jesus shall keep them blameless until the day of His return? The apostle Paul did (to the Corinthians). That is mind boggling! In the same way, have we grown in the grace and knowledge of Jesus Christ to tell someone in sin and plans to commit the sin again, that there is therefore now no condemnation in Jesus Christ? That they are a saint? That they will be blameless on the day the Lord returns?

Jesus' answer to a woman caught in adultery was "neither do I condemn you, go and sin no more." First comes the gift of no condemnation and then the liberty of being set free from sin's dominion. You awake to righteousness and sin not. You awaken to who you now are in Jesus and walk it out. You are a saint, you are righteous and holy, and even so, you are the righteousness of God, in Jesus Christ. It is imputed. Walk it out. Believe.

Its hard to preach grace to someone planning to abort a baby, because what lies in the balance is a life, and a purpose. However, as hard as it might be to state that God's grace is sufficient, to do otherwise would be a lie. It would be a disservice to the Gospel of Jesus Christ and Jesus' finished work on the cross. No one is saying that there are not natural consequences to such an action, but from an eternal perspective... we rely solely and completely upon Jesus Christ. His blood cleanses us from all unrighteousness. No one here would argue that if an unbeliever had an abortion that they couldn't be saved, right? Jesus' sacrifice pays for that person's sin. His grace is sufficient. So, why then would His grace not be sufficient just as much, if not more, to one of God's children who are in the covenant of grace? Its a hard pill to swallow, it is. Once again, though, to say otherwise would be to preach another gospel.

The fear is that a revelation of His grace will empower the person to sin, but it just doesn't. The person deciding whether to abort a child, for example, realizes that even if they committed to aborting the baby, God would still love them. The blood of Christ would still cleanse them. They would still be righteous in God's eyes because of Jesus, and so on. So, you may ask, how then does grace stop them from committing this sin? How does a revelation of grace stop a person from aborting a child? It allows them to weigh the pros and cons. In regards to an abortion, the cons outweigh the pros because while someone thinks the abortion will bring them peace, it brings depression, even to some suicidal thoughts. It tears at their very conscience the act that they have committed, sort of like Judas betraying Jesus and his conscience was so heavy he hung himself.

I said that it allowed them to weigh the pros and cons because you come from a perspective of choice. You can either do it, or not do it, but the decision has consequences whether they are positive or negative. You have the liberty to choose, and yes, that liberty means that the bad decision will grieve the Holy Spirit. He will hurt for you, knowing fully how destructive that sin is to your life and well being. However, you can make an informed decision to do it God's way, and choose that which is right and prosper. In the case of the child and abortion, the right choice is life. The prosperity will rest in the love that will come about between the family members and the child. Also, the child has a purpose to fulfill, even so within the body of Christ.

Such a decision must also bear in mind, you are not just taking a child away from yourself, but also God who entrusted that soul to you to raise properly and righteously. If He knows us in the womb, and knows the plans He has for us... you are then putting your will above Gods. The right decision then is life, and that decision is based solely on the fact God granted it (that is, life).

All things considered, first consider the Lord's will above your own. Don't think His will is hard, and strict. He has plans to prosper you, not harm you. It is a blessed experience to walk in His purpose for your life. You may seek His answer on this abortion but I think you know fully well, he will say life. What you must say in return is that if it is His will that the baby live, that He carry you through the process and be with you at all times. That the birth goes, perfectly, off without a hitch. Tell Him that you trust Him, and in faith, have the child. Do you think He will forsake you? Of course not, He is with you now.

PS: Not going to lie, I had apprehensions about posting this. However, to some it might give them a revelation of grace. How easy is it to preach grace, until you see what sins are being committed. Then we sit back and see how much the Lord has really forgiven us. The Word says the those who are forgiven little, love little. To see that which he is able to forgive, should truly stir in you a worship and awe of His great love.
 
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ServantStrike

Guest
I am praying every single person here who said getting an abortion is OKAY be struck dumb and blind for 3 days! In the name of JESUS!
Be careful.

I have never prayed for any evil act to befall someone, no matter how questionable their behavior is. You on the other hand have done so publicly using the name of The Lord in the process.

What you are doing is spiritually dangerous. Extremely dangerous.



Right now I am trying not to judge and to extend grace, but to make such a huge conclusion that I am not genuine is causing some very bad words to enter my head grrrrrrr
I'm not concluding anything at the moment.

I will say your story seems unique. I don't think I've ever heard of a woman who tries hard to have a second child considering an abortion the moment she becomes pregnant. I've heard of many women considering abortions when they accidentally become pregnant.

You mentioned mental illness. Have you consulted with a psychiatrist about this? Could the pregnancy be setting this off? I know it's possible when pregnant but I do not know when this happens during the pregnancy process or how intense it can be.