The Evils Of Adoption
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[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"An agency has a responsibility of pointing out to the unmarried mother the extreme difficulty, if not the impossibility, if she remains unmarried, of raising her child successfully in our culture without damage to the child and to herself .... The concept that the unmarried mother and her child constitute a family is to me unsupportable. There is no family in any real sense of the word."- Joseph H. Reid, "Principles, Values, and Assumptions Underlying Adoption Practice", 1956 NAT'L CON. SOC. WORK. [/FONT]
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Our children were taken from us so the adoption industry make money, playing the role of savior to infertile couples by selling the "ultimate gift" to them at our expense, and then come out smelling like a rose for solving society's supposed welfare and moral problems. It all really came down to money ... keeping us off the welfare rolls and making money for the brokers.[/FONT]
notice it says "1956" and yes back then the culture was different but u cant compare todays world with a letter wtitten over 50 years ago in this kinda subject
also my parents now who ADOPTED ALL 8 OF US did not spend 1penny adopting us they went through a NON-PROFIT faith based organization caled Florida Baptist Childrens Homes who not only helped mom and dad out all the way through the adoption procedure but gave them 8 bunkbeds and helped furnish some other odds and ends to place us kids so we would not be one day out living on the streets
im sorry i tried to put this in last post but i guess i deleted it somehow?
i couldnt even finish readin everything said it was making me so sick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You said 97.7% and ill believe that but what you i i doubt this survey does either is that these mothers they interviewed were prob. not a TRUE random survey.the mothers prob. were not able to take care of there children like my birth mom.Either for physical reasons or emotional they just aint able. MY birth mom slept around with every guy she knew and some she dodnt.she did not love us (did i mention 8 of us kids) care for us or even try to be a mother to us!!!!!!!!!!!! so the state COERCED her into signing us over by saying either sign them over or well take them.
i couldnt even finish readin everything said it was making me so sick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You said 97.7% and ill believe that but what you i i doubt this survey does either is that these mothers they interviewed were prob. not a TRUE random survey.the mothers prob. were not able to take care of there children like my birth mom.Either for physical reasons or emotional they just aint able. MY birth mom slept around with every guy she knew and some she dodnt.she did not love us (did i mention 8 of us kids) care for us or even try to be a mother to us!!!!!!!!!!!! so the state COERCED her into signing us over by saying either sign them over or well take them.
As you say, Quest, mothers should keep their children and raise them well, but if they aren't able to or, in my mind, if they reject their children, then those children should have a home with loving parental figures. I, myself, would like to adopt one day, but I'd rather that adoption not be a necessary part of raising a child. Too bad their parents can't or won't accept them. Anyway, I don't really view my parents in an overly special light. I can respect them through the wrong and the right they've done me, but I know God to be my true father. If you can get this point across to an adopted child they'd have less difficulty confronting a truth that isn't there (i.e. our biological parents are not our parents when we become Christians, for we were born into sin and death but were born anew into life by the Holy Spirit). Obey your earthly guardians, but know who your Father is.
Greetings Dread,
The information I have provided is from the birthmothers themselves, not from me. I did not create this information. If you disagree, you are free to go to YouTube and exiledmothers.com and tell these ladies that they weren't brainwashed.
I know for a fact that my own birthmother was pressured by her parents to give me away and she didn't want to.
Quest
The information I have provided is from the birthmothers themselves, not from me. I did not create this information. If you disagree, you are free to go to YouTube and exiledmothers.com and tell these ladies that they weren't brainwashed.
I know for a fact that my own birthmother was pressured by her parents to give me away and she didn't want to.
Quest
Greetings Cako53. The point that I am trying to make Cako53, is that the Mother's don't want to give up their children. They are being pressured and brainwashed with lies by a billion dollar industry that has to keep the merchandise flowing.
Furthermore there is evidence - if you watch the videos you will see this - that children are being taken from parents without good cause, and not just here and there, but with shocking frequency, because the social workers that take these children away get huge bonus pay for doing so.
Quest
Furthermore there is evidence - if you watch the videos you will see this - that children are being taken from parents without good cause, and not just here and there, but with shocking frequency, because the social workers that take these children away get huge bonus pay for doing so.
Quest
I agree with everything you say above.
In my initial post in this thread I said that adoption is obviously acceptable when the mother has died because at that point there is no other choice. However social workers make decisions that are not according to the wishes of the family all the time. Please watch the videos and you will see that this is rampant.
Furthermore, who says that the family doesn't want the child? How often does this really occur that no one in an entire family wants a new born baby? I would venture to say that this would be extraordinarily rare. How can you also ensure that before you adopt baby, that everyone within the family did have an opportunity to take the baby if they wanted it? Perhaps members of the family did want the child but other members would not allow it? You just don't have enough information to make a safe judgment.
I am shocked that people assume that I would force a mother who was raped to raise that child against her will!
Please tell me why Christian families can't adopt both mother and child? Please tell me right now why this cannot be so? In the whole wide universe I cannot imagine one reason why Christians cannot adopt both mother and child!
For example: I can't imagine for a moment Jesus coming upon a mother who couldn't feed her child and - instead of offering to help feed and provide shelter to both mother and child - would instead take the child and give it to another mother, and then turn his back on the birthmother and send her away. But that is what Christians do every single day in the name of Jesus, and then they think they have done some saintly duty! Ridiculous!
But rather than a woman abort her child, I would certainly try my best to offer to provide assistance for the mother in order to enable her to take care of her baby, in order that she might keep her child, flesh of her flesh.
Yes, mothers who don't have an ounce of help to be able to raise their children with any hope of a good future for them may be "encouraged" - by the adoption agencies - that giving up baby is the best thing for them both. Of course if Christians gave half as much concern for the mother as they did for the baby, these mothers wouldn't ever be convinced that adoption is the best option for baby, because they would have support from Christians to give baby a good future under her own care!
And that is the lie that is spread, that these children are not wanted. But in the vast majority of cases these women do want to keep their babies but have been pressured and made to feel guilty by society because of it. That survey that I posted had 97% of respondants saying they didn't want to give their babies away. And regardless whether or not this is a fallen world, there is still a natural bond between mother and child that God created and that grows in increasing intimacy during a nine month lifespan in mother's womb.
If your neighbors can't have a baby then they can pray to God for the womb to be opened. The scripture is rife with examples of this. Rather than pray as the women did in the Bible, they follow the scumbag example of some of the women in the Bible who took the concubine's children as their own. Tell me, was taking the concubine's children a Christian thing to do? Neither is adoption in the vast majority of cases.
How do you know the mother wasn't brain washed? How do you really know? How do you know she didn't have family pressures and pressures from the adoption agency? You didn't personally have access to enough information at any time to make such a claim with any degree of certainty. You didn't know the birthmother personally, you never spoke to her alone and heard her feelings on the subject. You are not in a place where you can safely make these judgments.
There are very few, very few situations where I can say with certainty that adoption is the best option for the child. Very few.
I find it despicable that you claim the only way to prevent a baby from starving is to adopt it away. No, the easiest way to prevent a baby from starving is to help both mom and baby to have food together.
Quest
In my initial post in this thread I said that adoption is obviously acceptable when the mother has died because at that point there is no other choice. However social workers make decisions that are not according to the wishes of the family all the time. Please watch the videos and you will see that this is rampant.
Furthermore, who says that the family doesn't want the child? How often does this really occur that no one in an entire family wants a new born baby? I would venture to say that this would be extraordinarily rare. How can you also ensure that before you adopt baby, that everyone within the family did have an opportunity to take the baby if they wanted it? Perhaps members of the family did want the child but other members would not allow it? You just don't have enough information to make a safe judgment.
I am shocked that people assume that I would force a mother who was raped to raise that child against her will!
Please tell me why Christian families can't adopt both mother and child? Please tell me right now why this cannot be so? In the whole wide universe I cannot imagine one reason why Christians cannot adopt both mother and child!
For example: I can't imagine for a moment Jesus coming upon a mother who couldn't feed her child and - instead of offering to help feed and provide shelter to both mother and child - would instead take the child and give it to another mother, and then turn his back on the birthmother and send her away. But that is what Christians do every single day in the name of Jesus, and then they think they have done some saintly duty! Ridiculous!
But rather than a woman abort her child, I would certainly try my best to offer to provide assistance for the mother in order to enable her to take care of her baby, in order that she might keep her child, flesh of her flesh.
Yes, mothers who don't have an ounce of help to be able to raise their children with any hope of a good future for them may be "encouraged" - by the adoption agencies - that giving up baby is the best thing for them both. Of course if Christians gave half as much concern for the mother as they did for the baby, these mothers wouldn't ever be convinced that adoption is the best option for baby, because they would have support from Christians to give baby a good future under her own care!
And that is the lie that is spread, that these children are not wanted. But in the vast majority of cases these women do want to keep their babies but have been pressured and made to feel guilty by society because of it. That survey that I posted had 97% of respondants saying they didn't want to give their babies away. And regardless whether or not this is a fallen world, there is still a natural bond between mother and child that God created and that grows in increasing intimacy during a nine month lifespan in mother's womb.
If your neighbors can't have a baby then they can pray to God for the womb to be opened. The scripture is rife with examples of this. Rather than pray as the women did in the Bible, they follow the scumbag example of some of the women in the Bible who took the concubine's children as their own. Tell me, was taking the concubine's children a Christian thing to do? Neither is adoption in the vast majority of cases.
How do you know the mother wasn't brain washed? How do you really know? How do you know she didn't have family pressures and pressures from the adoption agency? You didn't personally have access to enough information at any time to make such a claim with any degree of certainty. You didn't know the birthmother personally, you never spoke to her alone and heard her feelings on the subject. You are not in a place where you can safely make these judgments.
There are very few, very few situations where I can say with certainty that adoption is the best option for the child. Very few.
I find it despicable that you claim the only way to prevent a baby from starving is to adopt it away. No, the easiest way to prevent a baby from starving is to help both mom and baby to have food together.
Quest
Please visit the exiledmothers website and you will see the remark near the top of the page that these things still occur as much as they did back then.
It's very much common sense: Is our society a more godly society now then it was in 1956? By no means!!! Our society is about 100,000 times more depraved then it was back then, so common sense should tell us that this problem is far worse now than it was then.
Quest
It's very much common sense: Is our society a more godly society now then it was in 1956? By no means!!! Our society is about 100,000 times more depraved then it was back then, so common sense should tell us that this problem is far worse now than it was then.
Quest
S
I agree that it's a horrible thing that many children are being forcefully seperated from their familys, but in reality once a child is forced into an orphanage situation chances of getting that child back to the original family is slim. So wiether or not a child is forced into it, are you going to not adopt that child purely for that reason? I honestly think that every child needs a loving home to grow in, so why not adopt?
I am going to post this particular paragraph again: (It was part of a response to a post made in this thread)
I feel the need to repeat this because I feel it sums up the whole debate perfectly. What Would Jesus Do?
For example: I can't imagine for a moment Jesus coming upon a mother who couldn't feed her child and - instead of offering to help feed and provide shelter to both mother and child - would instead take the child and give it to another mother, and then turn his back on the birthmother and send her away. But that is what Christians do every single day in the name of Jesus, and then they think they have done some saintly duty! Ridiculous!
If anyone in this forum says that adoption is good, you are likewise accusing Jesus of taking a birthmother's baby, giving it to someone else and then turning his back on the birthmother and sending her away. That is exactly what adoption is, and there is no way in the world that our Lord would ever do such a thing.
Quest
I feel the need to repeat this because I feel it sums up the whole debate perfectly. What Would Jesus Do?
For example: I can't imagine for a moment Jesus coming upon a mother who couldn't feed her child and - instead of offering to help feed and provide shelter to both mother and child - would instead take the child and give it to another mother, and then turn his back on the birthmother and send her away. But that is what Christians do every single day in the name of Jesus, and then they think they have done some saintly duty! Ridiculous!
If anyone in this forum says that adoption is good, you are likewise accusing Jesus of taking a birthmother's baby, giving it to someone else and then turning his back on the birthmother and sending her away. That is exactly what adoption is, and there is no way in the world that our Lord would ever do such a thing.
Quest
A
Hi,
1) I agree that many kids who are taken out of the home should not be. I do agree that a parent should stay with their children....and if that parent...is poor or abusive...social services should step in and help...not hinder. I do agree with the wound placed on ones heart by being taken from the mother.....or father.
2) I do feel "adoption" isnt for all...and that in the christian sects right now, especially its popluar and the "in" thing and shouldnt be. I think people need to think about this before they do.
Now....in regards to your posts...
adoption is not evil.
I feel your stats are flawed...and your words are ignorant.
and I am going to try my best...to keep my temper at a certain point.
--I was adopted. the social workers even tried to place me back with the birth mother...and i ended up in the hospital
----when you say adoption is evil...in a way you are cursing mine...and all those on here...who were for valid reasons...because i would be seriously dead.
-I understand rehabilitaion....and all that really...but what if...it doesnt work and the kid falls victim to a act of violence for the last time?
--I see you are hurting...I have noticed. I feel you are bitter....
I am too. and this post....I do not understand why you say its evil...I think you are bringing so many groups in to this...steryotyping adoption as a whole....
"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world" James 1:27
Thats a verse for you.
april
1) I agree that many kids who are taken out of the home should not be. I do agree that a parent should stay with their children....and if that parent...is poor or abusive...social services should step in and help...not hinder. I do agree with the wound placed on ones heart by being taken from the mother.....or father.
2) I do feel "adoption" isnt for all...and that in the christian sects right now, especially its popluar and the "in" thing and shouldnt be. I think people need to think about this before they do.
Now....in regards to your posts...
adoption is not evil.
I feel your stats are flawed...and your words are ignorant.
and I am going to try my best...to keep my temper at a certain point.
--I was adopted. the social workers even tried to place me back with the birth mother...and i ended up in the hospital
----when you say adoption is evil...in a way you are cursing mine...and all those on here...who were for valid reasons...because i would be seriously dead.
-I understand rehabilitaion....and all that really...but what if...it doesnt work and the kid falls victim to a act of violence for the last time?
--I see you are hurting...I have noticed. I feel you are bitter....
I am too. and this post....I do not understand why you say its evil...I think you are bringing so many groups in to this...steryotyping adoption as a whole....
"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world" James 1:27
Thats a verse for you.
april
Greetings April,
I understand where you are coming from and I can't argue with your experience. It's just too bad we live in a world of powerless Christianity. If Christianity had any power these days your mom may have been converted and changed.
April, our arguments both merge right in the middle of the adoption issue. If the lean is toward your end of the spectrum - and clearly in this forum it is - more children will be adopted away against the will of their families. If the lean is toward my perspective, the more children will be allowed to remain in abusive situations. I must conclude then, that being in the middle is the best place that we both can be, and it is where everyone should stand in regards to this issue. The middle will always be the safest place for us all, in order to best prevent abuse of one kind or the other.
Take care and thanks for the excellent post!
Quest
I understand where you are coming from and I can't argue with your experience. It's just too bad we live in a world of powerless Christianity. If Christianity had any power these days your mom may have been converted and changed.
April, our arguments both merge right in the middle of the adoption issue. If the lean is toward your end of the spectrum - and clearly in this forum it is - more children will be adopted away against the will of their families. If the lean is toward my perspective, the more children will be allowed to remain in abusive situations. I must conclude then, that being in the middle is the best place that we both can be, and it is where everyone should stand in regards to this issue. The middle will always be the safest place for us all, in order to best prevent abuse of one kind or the other.
Take care and thanks for the excellent post!
Quest
C
You what? You find what I said "descpicable"? You need to find better vocabulary when addressing people if you want any respect, I never once disrespected you Mr. Question.
"that you claim the only way to prevent a baby from starving is to adopt it away." - WHEN did I say in my post that the only way to prevent a baby from starving was to have it adopted? You completely changed what I said to fit your agenda.
You claim I said it was also the easiest way, when on earth did I write these words? You are not allowed to put words in my mouth that were not there. I am not allowing that.
So Question please next time thoroughly read what you are criticizing before you attempt to do so, because you have completely misread my post as well as responded in a wrong way.
"that you claim the only way to prevent a baby from starving is to adopt it away." - WHEN did I say in my post that the only way to prevent a baby from starving was to have it adopted? You completely changed what I said to fit your agenda.
You claim I said it was also the easiest way, when on earth did I write these words? You are not allowed to put words in my mouth that were not there. I am not allowing that.
So Question please next time thoroughly read what you are criticizing before you attempt to do so, because you have completely misread my post as well as responded in a wrong way.
D
I still find it funny that you're doing the brainwashed and pressured argument for mothers. If that were the truth there'd be a mob of angry right-minded women to shut down adoption agencies for kidnapping their babies or asking for their children back. No one with the stats you're saying would stand up for it because that's too many "brain washed" women and not everyone who is pregnant is vulnerable. That's like saying all women who are pregnant go into a crazy desporate fit and can't think right- oblivious to any outside influence. You're basically saying pregnant women who choose to leave their children to adoption are stupid and vulnerable. To that, my friend, i say pish-posh.
Oh yeah, did you know you can choose for your child when they grow up, to NEVER find you? Do you think a brainwashed person would agree to that? Surely a brainwashed person (meaning someone who was in a state of vulnerability, but only for a short time) could opt to have their precious child find them later in life! I mean all they'd have to do is go back to the agency and give them their information. That's what 98% of these women did, right?
Oh yeah, did you know you can choose for your child when they grow up, to NEVER find you? Do you think a brainwashed person would agree to that? Surely a brainwashed person (meaning someone who was in a state of vulnerability, but only for a short time) could opt to have their precious child find them later in life! I mean all they'd have to do is go back to the agency and give them their information. That's what 98% of these women did, right?
S
While I understand where you are coming from and your stance on adoption, I lovingly in Christ disagree. Adoption is not only a good option for some people, it is the only option for some.
I work for the Welfare Department and every day I see women having child after unwanted child, that they neglect and abuse and ignore just because they want more welfare money or more attention, or think they can land a guy by having another child, that they do not want and do not take care of.
There are so many throw away babies that they had to make up laws that allow you to drop off your newborn at hospitals or fire departments with no penalty if you dont want them.
Please allow me to respectfully, in Christ, disagree.
If you have seen what I have seen, you might have a softer opinion on the whole matter.
I work for the Welfare Department and every day I see women having child after unwanted child, that they neglect and abuse and ignore just because they want more welfare money or more attention, or think they can land a guy by having another child, that they do not want and do not take care of.
There are so many throw away babies that they had to make up laws that allow you to drop off your newborn at hospitals or fire departments with no penalty if you dont want them.
Please allow me to respectfully, in Christ, disagree.
If you have seen what I have seen, you might have a softer opinion on the whole matter.
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