Mothers and daughters

[BarlyGurl]

Do other grown daughters find it difficult to get along with their mother, or is it just me? I haven't really gotten along with my mother for a very long time, then about 5 years ago we had a major blow out. It's been real strained ever since. To make matters worse we attend the same church and it is difficult to see everyone think she is so outstanding when you know the truth. Sometimes I want to demand a dna test!!! Lol we are so opposite it's just bizarre...

I am responding to OP and not read the 3+ pages of comments.

Whatever happened between you and your mother... you are obligated to make reconciliation with her. I am astonished that you have been 5years at the SAME church and have not reconciled this matter. Tell her TODAY what the issue is and what you would like to do to reconcile, if she wont hear you, go to the church, if they don't wanna mediate, LEAVE THAT CHURCH!

Find a new church, get some Godly counsel on the matter, try again to reconcile with your mother, if she wont hear you, ask the church to help you SHAKE THE DUST OFF YOUR FEET over your mother.

 

[kaylagrl]

I am responding to OP and not read the 3+ pages of comments.

Whatever happened between you and your mother... you are obligated to make reconciliation with her. I am astonished that you have been 5years at the SAME church and have not reconciled this matter. Tell her TODAY what the issue is and what you would like to do to reconcile, if she wont hear you, go to the church, if they don't wanna mediate, LEAVE THAT CHURCH!

Find a new church, get some Godly counsel on the matter, try again to reconcile with your mother, if she wont hear you, ask the church to help you SHAKE THE DUST OFF YOUR FEET over your mother.

You know sometimes I think it takes something big to change family issues. A lot of times it takes a death of another member to shake people into communicating and reconciling. Or a sickness.Family relationships are hard and complicated because you are usually so close together.I think the OP has tried to work things out but is at a deadlock.Its too bad the churches dont have more family counseling.Its expensive and hard to find a good counselor.

 

[BarlyGurl]

You know sometimes I think it takes something big to change family issues. A lot of times it takes a death of another member to shake people into communicating and reconciling. Or a sickness.Family relationships are hard and complicated because you are usually so close together.I think the OP has tried to work things out but is at a deadlock.Its too bad the churches dont have more family counseling.Its expensive and hard to find a good counselor.

That is a tender sentiment Kayla... but I don't understand WHY something big like a DEATH should have to happen when we have Jesus and His word and Biblical principals to follow as a guide to get us through the issues of life?

 

[Jenizona]

That is a tender sentiment Kayla... but I don't understand WHY something big like a DEATH should have to happen when we have Jesus and His word and Biblical principals to follow as a guide to get us through the issues of life?

Because we are fallen, sinful people. Welcome to earth lol.

 

[BarlyGurl]

Because we are fallen, sinful people. Welcome to earth lol.

I have been here a little longer than you, thank you Jeni. I don't know if that is your best answer or you are being glib.
I am quite serious about the point of... WHAT IS THE POINT OF BEING A CHRISTIAN RELIGION... if you are not going to put into practice the USE of it? Is it because you don't want to or don't know to? The Lord said we would have trials and tribulation but that we could be over-comers thru HIM.

I figure SOME posters put a "problem" out there for commentary and they are really truly looking for SOLUTIONS... which are available via scripture. I also KNOW that some posters just REALLY want company to Lament with them about the problem... yet I always presume the poster is the first kind... and not the second type.

 

[Jenizona]

I have been here a little longer than you, thank you Jeni. I don't know if that is your best answer or you are being glib.
I am quite serious about the point of... WHAT IS THE POINT OF BEING A CHRISTIAN RELIGION... if you are not going to put into practice the USE of it? Is it because you don't want to or don't know to? The Lord said we would have trials and tribulation but that we could be over-comers thru HIM.

I figure SOME posters put a "problem" out there for commentary and they are really truly looking for SOLUTIONS... which are available via scripture. I also KNOW that some posters just REALLY want company to Lament with them about the problem... yet I always presume the poster is the first kind... and not the second type.

It was an attempt at humor, BarlyGurl, try to relax and not be so serious all the time lol.

 

[kaylagrl]

That is a tender sentiment Kayla... but I don't understand WHY something big like a DEATH should have to happen when we have Jesus and His word and Biblical principals to follow as a guide to get us through the issues of life?

Shouldnt have to be but I traveled in different churches for 20yrs and dealt with a lot of family issues and that just seems to be the way it goes.Families tend to be brought together by tragedy and animosity is forgotten.I just wish churches were better with family counseling because I didnt see that support in my travels.Most people have to go outside the church for help and thats a pity.

 

[BarlyGurl]

It was an attempt at humor, BarlyGurl, try to relax and not be so serious all the time lol.

Oh... whoops... I tried humor a while back and it went so epically WRONG... I hardly ever occurs to me... and I apparently misused the little face thingy icon too... the sunglasses one is really ambiguous...imo. Alas, suggesting I relax... is FUNNY... cuz I am serious... and really relaxed about it... LOL! I do like your doggie snawz avatar.

 

[PartyOf3]

I figure SOME posters put a "problem" out there for commentary and they are really truly looking for SOLUTIONS... which are available via scripture. I also KNOW that some posters just REALLY want company to Lament with them about the problem... yet I always presume the poster is the first kind... and not the second type.

I am the first type, and do know that the bible is all I need for all my questions. But we all need building up, edification, encouragement ...

 

[Faithful_Fay]

Mother and daughter relationships are notorious for having some amount of friction. It sounds to me like you're doing a whole lot to keep the relationship from completely fracturing. I greatly admire you for that effort. Being so willing to keep pouring yourself into what feels like the line of fire with a loved one who is determined to tear you down is more difficult than people often comprehend.

I had a difficult time in my life with my mother in high school. I was a Christian, and she was not. We had an event happen where I had to make the choice to either preserve my safety, or stay in the home with her. I chose to leave and stay out of harm's way. You wouldn't believe the number of people that kept coming to me after I left, who had no interest in hearing why I left, but definitely kept telling me to "honor my mother" by moving back into her house. My mother fanned the flames by playing the great role of victim, and people turned on me. It was very interesting.

People are sometimes hasty, dissapointing, harsh, and judgemental. They will often turn to the easiest and most critical answer.

But, on a positive note, years later and my mother is an amazing Christian. A more complete transformation I've never seen. We still have an interesting time defining boundaries but she loves me and I love her. It's worth it to keep praying and being receptive. When I think about how difficult life was and how different life is now, I wonder at how transformative God's love is in our lives. I'll be praying for you and your mother.