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V
I pray this helps, dear sister:
https://www.womenshelters.org/sta/tennessee
Tennessee Domestic Violence Resources - AARDVARC.org
Family and Children's Service
https://www.womenshelters.org/sta/tennessee
Tennessee Domestic Violence Resources - AARDVARC.org
Family and Children's Service
B
While I absolutely do not mean this situation is not URGENT. There seems to be a sort of "digression" into another time in history when a woman's only avenue of escape was to RUN and HIDE. There is a plethora of education, counsel, programs, LAWS and people to help this OP get into a safe and healthy environment. It seems to me the emphasis is on "be scared and run" when I think a more productive and empowering message would be "be smart and take action"... I encourage her to take sound counsel... but be certain... the Lord is near... so do not FEAR.
Why don't you have him arrested? Police believe the woman and have been trained to take you seriously. And even if you have hit him, he has assaulted and tried to KILL you. Get him out, get a restraining order. He will have to pay for you, and you won't need to move.
Your kids especially need to get out of this situation. The boys will learn to be angry, drunk and abusive. The girls will learn to be passive, and that life has no hope, other than being abused. They will seek out abusive men. Even if you don't care about yourself, kick him out for your children's sake. (No father is better than the example of an out of control, abuser!) Battered wife syndrome starts early! Save your kids!
As for him being mean and then being "nice" this is the exact pattern the Cycle of Abuse has. The "nice" part is part of the "honeymoon" period, in which he is reeling you back in till the next episode of you being his punching bag/choke rag.
Cycle of Abuse
PS Don't wait till the next time he tries to kill you. Phone the police now.
I'll talk about how to really have a deep relationship with Christ, after you are safe!
Your kids especially need to get out of this situation. The boys will learn to be angry, drunk and abusive. The girls will learn to be passive, and that life has no hope, other than being abused. They will seek out abusive men. Even if you don't care about yourself, kick him out for your children's sake. (No father is better than the example of an out of control, abuser!) Battered wife syndrome starts early! Save your kids!
As for him being mean and then being "nice" this is the exact pattern the Cycle of Abuse has. The "nice" part is part of the "honeymoon" period, in which he is reeling you back in till the next episode of you being his punching bag/choke rag.
Cycle of Abuse
PS Don't wait till the next time he tries to kill you. Phone the police now.
I'll talk about how to really have a deep relationship with Christ, after you are safe!
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B
I do not intend she "hold ground" just that this endeavor does not need to be a "run away in terror and hide", she does need to leave... but I really want her to feel EMPOWERED by taking that action... she doesn't have to be the "victim" in the scenario... she is going to become the VICTOR over the situation.
A
Seriously? What happens after he's arrested? A day later? A week later? A month later? I've been checking the laws. Can't find an average sentence but plenty of info about if someone charged with it can get a gun. They can't -- legally. Well, you can't ever in prison so what's that saying that people are asking if you can get a gun after you're charged with that? Someone isn't in jail. Someone is out roaming freely, and it's not the abused. The abused is hiding.
Education? When are we going to realize education changes nothing other than the knowledge what we're doing right now is bad? The Israelites were educated before they made that golden calf.
Counseling? Hold on, honey. Let me strangle you for a few months before I learn to control myself better. You don't mind do you? I'm really sorry but I'm getting much better now.
A restraining order? Has one of those ever worked?
When laws work, use them. When they don't protect yourself. Protect your kids.
We're not as cultured as we like to think we are.
Education? When are we going to realize education changes nothing other than the knowledge what we're doing right now is bad? The Israelites were educated before they made that golden calf.
Counseling? Hold on, honey. Let me strangle you for a few months before I learn to control myself better. You don't mind do you? I'm really sorry but I'm getting much better now.
A restraining order? Has one of those ever worked?
When laws work, use them. When they don't protect yourself. Protect your kids.
We're not as cultured as we like to think we are.
As many other posters have said God would not what you to stay in this situation. You need to get yourself and children out of this situation to safety. When your husband is at work please gather the bare minimum that you need and get yourself and your children to a women's refuge where you and they will be safe. The domestic violence will only increase over time and he will end up killing you. Leaving your children motherless and with their father in prison or worse he could potentially kill them as well. Everyday in the US, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends and I don't want you to become the next one. I am also concerned that you say I have no friends any longer or family to help, that he is the only one working which suggests over time even before he became physically violent he started to isolate you which is typical of abusive partners. I realise how hard it is to press charges, or leave the situation and get yourself and children to a place of safety I will be praying that you have the courage to leave with your children and in the mean time that the Lord will keep you safe.
B
Well good grief Atwhatcost.... the OP is not a born again believer... so maybe you think I should have dumped a whole bunch of scripture quotes on her and blessed her on her way? EXACTLY what kind of "counseling" do you think she is going to get when she finally gets plugged into the YMCA or Shelter or Whatever program.... are they going to feed her scripture and force her to get baptized before they help... or are they going to use the sort of distinctive verbiage I introduced in my previous post???
Being attacked can be so so violent and you dont expect it. Please listen to the advice. If you just cant leave now (though I'd feel better for you if you did) then prepare and be ready to leave at a minute's notice. Look for the signs of escalation and then run for your life and take the kids with you. Money is critical - make sure you have independent access to it. Make sure he cant close the account on his own accord and isolate you. If youre not working then think about how you can get a job.
In my opinion, even those his attempts of murder were in the past, I'd still report them to the police. I feel for you terribly -
hugs - be safe
Zoii
In my opinion, even those his attempts of murder were in the past, I'd still report them to the police. I feel for you terribly -
hugs - be safeZoii
Yup.. I agree with zoii.. If you have a cellphone then leave it home, and get a disposable phone. A tracfone costs about $20 at Walmart.. Get as much money out of your account as you can. Better yet, if his name is also on the account, have it taken off. Don't try to leave while he's home, because he'll be able to stop you.. Start keeping a log of everytime he hits and threatens you and get physical video proof of any bruises he leaves..
V
You don't want her to "feel" like a victim in this "scenario"? Aletrist IS a victim of domestic violence. She stated, "He had choked me to the point of losing consciousness several times, but the last time was 2 weeks ago. He was drunk, he choked me until I passed out, while I was out I felt like I was having a dream but watching what was going on in the room like a fly on the wall. I came to confused and he was waiting to choke me again."
Her husband could have killed her!
She has 2 beautiful sons who are also victims in this violent situation. Don't even suggest she not flee from the danger. Your statement that you want her to feel empowered is ludicrous. This isn't about you or what you feel. This is a life and death situation that not only involves a woman in danger of losing her life, but also 2 little boys are involved.
Every single women's crisis center in the United State will teach her how to get her power back and to build her life with her children in safety and wisdom. But first she needs to take her babies and get away from the violence ASAP. Don't ever tell a person not to fear for their life when their life is in immediate danger. Especially when there are children involved.
John 8:59 tells us that, "So they picked up stones to throw at him, but Jesus hid himself and went out of the temple. Even Jesus hid and fled from the enemy. [/SIZE]
Her husband could have killed her!
She has 2 beautiful sons who are also victims in this violent situation. Don't even suggest she not flee from the danger. Your statement that you want her to feel empowered is ludicrous. This isn't about you or what you feel. This is a life and death situation that not only involves a woman in danger of losing her life, but also 2 little boys are involved.
Every single women's crisis center in the United State will teach her how to get her power back and to build her life with her children in safety and wisdom. But first she needs to take her babies and get away from the violence ASAP. Don't ever tell a person not to fear for their life when their life is in immediate danger. Especially when there are children involved.
John 8:59 tells us that, "So they picked up stones to throw at him, but Jesus hid himself and went out of the temple. Even Jesus hid and fled from the enemy. [/SIZE]
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B
Violet... by now I am certain your are just trolling thru the threads LOOKING for my posts so you can go off on maniacal diatribe solely for the purpose of discrediting me PERSONALLY in front of others. IF you actually READ the thread stream... YOU WOULD KNOW... I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO TERMED THE HUSBAND'S ACTION AS ATTEMPTED MURDER I also agreed she needed to GO.
SO I invite you to dismount that horse called "persecutor of the brethren you are riding" and since you can't seem to muster any SELF CONTROL regarding your personal prejudice <read grudge> for me... employ the ignore button.
I DO have the capacity to strive with you for a L-O-N-G time...I do however think it is really inconsiderate toward other people who have to weed thru these continuous jibes.
SO I invite you to dismount that horse called "persecutor of the brethren you are riding" and since you can't seem to muster any SELF CONTROL regarding your personal prejudice <read grudge> for me... employ the ignore button.
I DO have the capacity to strive with you for a L-O-N-G time...I do however think it is really inconsiderate toward other people who have to weed thru these continuous jibes.
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