I tell my daughter that boys have cooties

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Mal316

Guest
#1
I'm terrified of all the trouble my daughter could get into (drugs, unprotected sex, violence, spreading evil speech about others, racism, hatred of people who are of different religion, sex, economic background, sexual orientation, etc.)

Sure, I'll do my best to teach her in the way of the Lord to do tzedekah and mishpat (justice and righteousness) and learn her to love God, and love others as herself, but man oh man, the thought of what could go wrong...terrifying.

Yes, I can't shelter her forever. I can't hide her from the world. She will have to venture out on her own. She will have to heed the call "lech lecha" (go for yourself) as Abram did. I can't prevent her from living her life. And she will make whatever choices she's going to make, whether for good or ill. Hopefully for good, but sometimes people need to learn from bad choices.

It's just that she's so young (4 months) and precious and so full of promise and how badly I want to keep her from being "polluted by the world."

Any other parents out there that feel this way (or did?) Or am I just looney. :)
 
Feb 3, 2010
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#2
I'm terrified of all the trouble my daughter could get into (drugs, unprotected sex, violence, spreading evil speech about others, racism, hatred of people who are of different religion, sex, economic background, sexual orientation, etc.)

Sure, I'll do my best to teach her in the way of the Lord to do tzedekah and mishpat (justice and righteousness) and learn her to love God, and love others as herself, but man oh man, the thought of what could go wrong...terrifying.

Yes, I can't shelter her forever. I can't hide her from the world. She will have to venture out on her own. She will have to heed the call "lech lecha" (go for yourself) as Abram did. I can't prevent her from living her life. And she will make whatever choices she's going to make, whether for good or ill. Hopefully for good, but sometimes people need to learn from bad choices.

It's just that she's so young (4 months) and precious and so full of promise and how badly I want to keep her from being "polluted by the world."

Any other parents out there that feel this way (or did?) Or am I just looney. :)
Four months!!! Stop treating her like a baby!! ;)
 
H

Harley_Angel

Guest
#3
Okay, I am a young female who had EXTREMELY overprotective parents (to the point I wasn't allowed to wear panty hose under my dresses until I was 16 because they were "too sexy"...). Teach her everything you can, but do not hold her back because it will only cause resentment and usually rebelliousness. Anytime I was able to get around my parent's rules I did it just because I was so tired of not being treated with respect. Imagine it like a revolving door, even though I didn't have plans do do something wrong, they assumed I would do something wrong, so I would do something wrong just because I might as well since I was going to get held back anyway.

The best advice I can give you as a daugher, is to treat her how she acts. Punish her when she does something wrong, PRAISE her when she does something good. Do not automatically assume that she wants to do something bad, but have faith that God will lead her in the right decisions. If you treat her like a young adult, she will act like a young adult, if you treat her like a bad little child always, she will become frustrated. All I ever wanted as a teenager was for my parents to notice all the GOOD things I did instead of going crazy over the little bad things. I would come home on time 9/10 but if I was even 5 minutes late for any reason on that 1 time, there was hell to pay and it was as if the 9 good times didn't matter any more.

It still frustrates me to this day how little faith and trust my parents had for me. I was an honor roll student, loved Jesus, and respected their rules. Of course I made mistakes, but it was never me TRYING to break the rules, it was usually circumstances. Whn I got my first boyfriend at 14 they automatically assumed if I was left alone in the same room a him we'd have sex...no matter how many times I told them I wasn't interested in it. Anytime my friends had a sleep over, my parents assumed that we would be out past curfew, do witchy things, or do drugs...no matter how many times I told them I wasn't into those things, and to this day my parents think I spent all 4 years of college drinking, partying, and doing drugs...but let me tell you, keeping a B average while working two jobs and being a peer minister plus spending all my free time online with my now husband didn't leave a whole lt of time for that.

Teach her well, praise her well, incorporate the love of Christ in everything she does, and then let her learn, let her grow, and let her be who she is going to be. Trust me parents, what you teach us really does stay in our hearts, especially if you give us the respect and trust we crave. I'm sure you're going ot be an amazing parent and your daughter is going to grow up with love in a beautiful household. God bless and good luck!
 
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Mal316

Guest
#4
Aspen, thanks. lol :D

Harley_Angel, thanks. :) I think that's excellent advice. :D
 
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charm1110

Guest
#5
Being the father of 2 daughters...My best advice is start now while she is young just Love her, hug her, pray with her at mealtimes and bedtime, be as involved as you can in any activity she shows interest in. Give her a real live example of what a good man is and when she grows up that's more likely to be what she'll look for in a man.
 
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Mal316

Guest
#6
charm, appreciate your input. :)
 
K

Kaitlin

Guest
#7
LOL I had a very good laugh... 4 months! :D I have 3 boys, aged almost 7, 5, and 1 year, and the teaching of James MacDonald from Walkintheword.com on child raising (different series on family teaching) is a great encouragement to me. You can listen online, you can also find him at oneplace.com for archives. Good biblical teaching. (Let me know if you can't find it and you would like to listen, I can look up the links for you). For example, he encourages families to have family values like, 1. Love God, 2. Family first, 3. Work hard, 4. Tell the truth, 5. Be kind. Another aspect is to be very much involved in what kind of friends your children make. It's crucial that they make good choices in this. Recently, I asked my almost 7 year old why he didn't play with one boy any more, he had been to play with once. He replied that he only wants to play violent games and he didn't like that. Needless to say, I was proud of my boy :) Show her God's love by living as Christ-like as possible :) Child raising is a LOT of work, constantly, all the time :p, but it's worth it!
 
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Mal316

Guest
#8
Kaitlin, thanks for your post. :)

Well, I found the oneplace site. Where's the links on his family values teachings?

And I am truly apprehending that child raising is a lot of work. I mean, I thought I knew what hard work was before my daughter was borned. Heh. God sure has a way of opening up your eyes. God bless those of you with more than one child. :D

Two words I use to tell people what fatherhood is like... Exhausting and exhilarating. For all the tsouris with the middle of the night waking up and the fussing for no apparent reason and the wrestling while trying to feed and the spitting up on the clothes after she had just been bathed and changed, and for all the myriad things that make you crazy, yet for all that....the joy in her smile, the laugh she makes, the curling her fingers around my finger, the peaceful quiet when she's asleep, it's all worth it. It's all good. Her smile can banish any dark clouds around my heart. With what can I compare the love in my heart for my daughter? Maybe....it's a tiny fraction of God's love for us. He's our Father; we're His children. How great, how deep, how awesome is that love.
 
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nanabean

Guest
#9
Hi Mal316

Your not looney..or well, if you are it is not apparant from THIS post anyways....ahhaha!! JKJKJK!!

I just wanted to post that I think others (Harley_Angel and Kaitlin in particular) have the right idea. I am a mom of two, both daughters, they are ages 23 and 22....years not months!! hahha! Anyway the only other thing I would like to say is, as you are raising your daughter, expect and accept that mistakes wil be made.....your daughter's, your wife's and your own. And when (not IF) that happens....you just need to rely on God and pick up with love from there. Accept apologies as they are given, and be sure to offer your own when necessary. All is NOT lost when things happen....Love will always see you through!!
 
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Mal316

Guest
#10
Thanks, nanabean! :)

"Anyway the only other thing I would like to say is, as you are raising your daughter, expect and accept that mistakes wil be made.....your daughter's, your wife's and your own. And when (not IF) that happens....you just need to rely on God and pick up with love from there. Accept apologies as they are given, and be sure to offer your own when necessary. All is NOT lost when things happen....Love will always see you through!!"

A good lesson to remember, for sure.
 
C

christiancollegegirl

Guest
#11
I think if my father had his way, I would have been locked away from the world till I was 35. (I think maybe my mom talked him out of it.)

Instead, he raised me in a Christian home, and taught me right from wrong and that we are human and will make mistakes. I'm 22 now, and have certainly made my share of mistakes, but I know he still loves me despite all that.
 
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Mal316

Guest
#12
ccg, ha, that's awesome. Yeah, sometimes I consider locking my daughter away from the world till she's 35. But the wife wouldn't allow it. And I'm not sure I'd want that anyway. :)

"I'm 22 now, and have certainly made my share of mistakes, but I know he still loves me despite all that." That's what I'd like for my daughter. Though she will make mistakes, I want her to always be confident in my love for her.

It starts now, I know. God willing, He'll help me continue to show the precious peanut how proud her papa is of her. It takes patience and perseverance but the prize is phenomenal. :D
 
K

Kaitlin

Guest
#13
Yeah, that love is amazing! I must admit, I am in love with my youngest (as I have been with the first two as well, yes with butterflies and all!!) ... I mean, all they give you is work and sleepless nights :p but one look, one smile, one cuddle... melts my heart. Children are truely a blessing! Hahaha... more than one child... you grow with the task, but yes, God's blessings and wisdom are much needed! :) Did your daughter have colics the first 3 months? All 3 of ours had... it's heartbreaking!!!
James mentions the family values in his series Building a Home God's way (Raising Kids God's way Part 1,2, and 3), you can find those here: http://www.walkintheword.com/broadcast.aspx (you might have to register in order to listen/download for free)
Aww... I see now that there is a limit to the archives on oneplace.com (http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/Walk_in_the_Word/archives.asp)... I have them on my pc, but how to get them to you? through msn? send you a cd?
 
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Harley_Angel

Guest
#14
Just remember, if as a father you give her love, and respect, and let her know she's beautiful, she's less likely to try to find validation and worth from other men or from substances.
 
Jan 8, 2009
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#15
I don't know why owners of pets can get them neutered but you can't get your child neutered.
 
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Harley_Angel

Guest
#16
You can get them chastity belts and*forget*where you put the key.
 
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Harley_Angel

Guest
#18
And diapers aren't? Have you seen the rashes those things cause?
 
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HumbleSaint

Guest
#19
I typed in chastity belt just to see what it is. And I seen it said Adult Content, so I quick got out of the sight before I seen anything. We probably realy should watch what we talk about, so we don't cause someone to stumble.
 
Jan 29, 2010
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#20
I typed in chastity belt just to see what it is. And I seen it said Adult Content, so I quick got out of the sight before I seen anything. We probably realy should watch what we talk about, so we don't cause someone to stumble.
Surley the words chastity and belt gave you enough clues without having to search it.