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Thread: Men,Do You Appreciate Your Wives?!

  1. #21
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    Default Re: Men,Do You Appreciate Your Wives?!

    Quote Originally Posted by atwhatcost View Post
    Warning: Wife chiming in here.

    Hubby and I joke around. We both agree I'm a cheap date. (I'd always order the cheapest meal on the menu and, at times ,just went for a soda, if he offered to pay for dinner. It was just what I felt like having at the moment. Even now our date-nights usually consist of watching a movie through Netflix or Amazon plus a snack of some kind. Seems perfect to me, but I really am still a cheap date. lol)

    I really can't say I'm THAT wife. I already lived on my own, so already wasn't moving away from family.

    He probably would have moved into my apartment when we got married, but I was already moving out before we got married. (My landlord changed the terms. Originally, he paid the heat. The he stripped out the radiators and added 8 feet of copper piping to heat a room big enough to be my living room, dining room --complete with table big enough to seat eight people -- kitchen and office, plus a ten foot high ceiling. And another eight feet of copper pipes to heat my bedroom which was the same size as the room I just described. The previous winter, I could literally see my breath in my own home. The thermostat only went down to 50 degrees, but no matter how high I set it it never moved above that 50 degree mark. SEVEN blankets and two sets of pajamas at night and I was still freezing. It's a wonder I didn't die. That bad.) The only thing that changed was we chose our next apartment together, and he chipped in for the rent before he moved in. (Got the apartment in August. Got married in October.) So he moved in with me anyway.

    No kids. So, nothing to do with any of the problems of having kids, although he never seemed to notice I got fat minus having kids.

    And, yes, I changed my last name. Then again my name shortened from 10 letters to 8 letters, and more people can pronounce this name right the first time when they read it. So, it worked out great on my end. Only thing now is people assume I'm Polish because of my last name. Well, after 35 years with him and we both learned about Polish foods together, I figure we're probably both as Polish as we'll ever be. (He still has every single Polish joke memorized. I only remember two. lol)

    Meanwhile, he got the wife that hates doing housework or cooking (unless it's making desserts.) He makes dinner. Yippee! And we divde housework by which one hates it the most. (I hate vacuuming the most, so he vacuums. He hates doing bills, so I do bills. I can't lug clothes around, but can fold, so he lugs and I fold. Neither one of us hates doing dishes so whoever thinks to do them first does dishes that day. lol)

    He got stuck with the pipe-dream schemer. (I worked when I could, but always had a scheme to make more money on the side -- Amway, a diet drink, start my own secretarial services/resume' writing/desktop marketing business, make clothes for teddy bears to sell them, and "write a novel.") He supported/supports me each time.

    All in all, I think I got the great deal in this one! He did me the great favor. (I still don't know why.)
    ================================================== =================

    "I still don't know why'?

    WE DO!
    atwhatcost likes this.

  2. #22
    Senior Member Angela53510's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men,Do You Appreciate Your Wives?!

    I find the OP to be some kind of backwoods, 1950's type of philosophy. I know it is supposed to be praising women, for giving up everything they are for their husbands, but we left that kind of marriage behind a long time ago.

    A marriage is between two equal individuals, who love one another, follow God, and continue to serve God in various capacities. Marriage should be giving each person in the partnership the companionship and safety of another person in God. A marriage is not about giving up, but rather getting so much more than each person was on their own.

    Rather than focus on trite details like last names (Every single one of my high school friends retain their maiden names except me - I was really tired of that difficult Polish name, too, and a lifetime of having to spell it for everyone) we should be focusing on giving and sharing on every level - emotional, spiritual, physical and social.

    We are richer for our spouses, and true love allows the spouse to pursue his or her career/interests/callings without rancor or selfishness. A good marriage can be remembered for the desperate times, when we put ourselves on the line for our partner, cared for them in time of sickness or trial, and the continually growing bond that develops when the commitment to one another is 100%.

    These trite exterior things mentioned in the OP, do not accurately describe what a real Christian marriage is about. It is about sacrifice by both partners. Putting the other person first. Not trying to make them into an image of what YOU want them to be, but rather supporting them in the transforming the Holy Spirit is making in their lives, and letting God be in charge. Even when it hurts or bucks the traditions you come from.

    We need to define marriage in terms of love, caring, learning and growing together in God. Not by some external things a lot of which are not relevant in our society.

    I'll finish with what I think a good husband is. It is someone who lifts you out of bed into a wheelchair to take you to the bathroom because the pain is so bad, you cannot walk. It is then lifting you back into a wheelchair then taking you back to bed and lifting you into the bed. Because you love your wife that much. It is finding a straw that it appeared we did not have, so I could have a drink of juice, when I could not reach the cup to my lips. It is cooking meals week after week for me, when he is clueless about cooking. That is what a real marriage is about! (I could reverse it, of course. But I would so much rather thank God for the incredible husband I have.)
    Dan58, oldthennew, Olerica and 1 others like this.
    "And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me." 2 Cor. 12:9 NASB

  3. #23
    Senior Member Angela53510's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men,Do You Appreciate Your Wives?!

    PS. In a perverse way, the OP is all about the husband. About what his wife does for him. Not about the special things he does for her, or even acknowledging that a wife is so much more than a stereotype created more in the movies and TV, than God creating each partner "in His Image."
    oldthennew and GuessWho like this.
    "And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me." 2 Cor. 12:9 NASB

  4. #24
    Senior Member kaylagrl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men,Do You Appreciate Your Wives?!

    Great discussion so far, no arguing and no derailing! Yay! Still a few I havent heard from,going to wait and see what they have to say.
    Angela53510 likes this.

  5. #25
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    Default Re: Men,Do You Appreciate Your Wives?!

    Quote Originally Posted by kaylagrl View Post
    Great discussion so far, no arguing and no derailing! Yay! Still a few I havent heard from,going to wait and see what they have to say.
    Oh, come on, now. You must have an opinion you don't need shaped by others? Just messin' with ya. Still waiting impatiently. You thought I forgot. ha!

  6. #26
    atwhatcost
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    Default Re: Men,Do You Appreciate Your Wives?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Agricola View Post
    Well there is nothing to credit the person who that is quoting.

    I grow tired of reading all time about women training husbands, women not being treated right, women must be respected, women this woman that, and 3 bags full.

    If there was an alien race monitoring our culture they would think that marriage is a conflict, not a loving caring relationship.

    I hate being single by the way. I want a wife, I still feel lost without a wife.
    If aliens monitored our world, they'd see what a good marriage is when they notice both spouses are arguing the case for the other spouse. lol

  7. #27
    atwhatcost
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    Default Re: Men,Do You Appreciate Your Wives?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Angela53510 View Post
    I find the OP to be some kind of backwoods, 1950's type of philosophy. I know it is supposed to be praising women, for giving up everything they are for their husbands, but we left that kind of marriage behind a long time ago.

    A marriage is between two equal individuals, who love one another, follow God, and continue to serve God in various capacities. Marriage should be giving each person in the partnership the companionship and safety of another person in God. A marriage is not about giving up, but rather getting so much more than each person was on their own.

    Rather than focus on trite details like last names (Every single one of my high school friends retain their maiden names except me - I was really tired of that difficult Polish name, too, and a lifetime of having to spell it for everyone) we should be focusing on giving and sharing on every level - emotional, spiritual, physical and social.

    We are richer for our spouses, and true love allows the spouse to pursue his or her career/interests/callings without rancor or selfishness. A good marriage can be remembered for the desperate times, when we put ourselves on the line for our partner, cared for them in time of sickness or trial, and the continually growing bond that develops when the commitment to one another is 100%.

    These trite exterior things mentioned in the OP, do not accurately describe what a real Christian marriage is about. It is about sacrifice by both partners. Putting the other person first. Not trying to make them into an image of what YOU want them to be, but rather supporting them in the transforming the Holy Spirit is making in their lives, and letting God be in charge. Even when it hurts or bucks the traditions you come from.

    We need to define marriage in terms of love, caring, learning and growing together in God. Not by some external things a lot of which are not relevant in our society.

    I'll finish with what I think a good husband is. It is someone who lifts you out of bed into a wheelchair to take you to the bathroom because the pain is so bad, you cannot walk. It is then lifting you back into a wheelchair then taking you back to bed and lifting you into the bed. Because you love your wife that much. It is finding a straw that it appeared we did not have, so I could have a drink of juice, when I could not reach the cup to my lips. It is cooking meals week after week for me, when he is clueless about cooking. That is what a real marriage is about! (I could reverse it, of course. But I would so much rather thank God for the incredible husband I have.)
    You say "backwoods, 1950's type of philosophy." What if he is like that because he is that? (Okay, probably more 1960's.) I come from a truly diverse family. In the same side of the family, we have everything from polo-pony/charity balls, high-society folk to living in a homemade shack in the mountains. (As for in-between? Here I am, a South Jersey, live-in-the-burbs, kind of gal who moved into a big American city. lol) One thing I have to praise my family for. We are often amused at the diversity of lifestyles, but we don't chalk it up to things like "backwoods, 1950's type of philosophy." Maybe because we all come from the 1930's-1960's philosophies of accepting not all of us are the same.

    Nothing wrong with "backwoods, 1950's type of philosophy" until someone makes it about that. From what I gather, (and again, I don't have cable TV so don't understand much about Duck Dynasty other than I feel like I know those people because they remind me of kin who do live that lifestyle), they aren't elegant people. They can't make high-society poetry. That doesn't mean he doesn't love his wife.

    Poor guy! He can't win for losing. He's as attached by the Christian community as he is by nonbelievers. I bet his wife appreciated that ditty.
    kaylagrl likes this.

  8. #28
    atwhatcost
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    Default Re: Men,Do You Appreciate Your Wives?!

    Quote Originally Posted by kaylagrl View Post
    Great discussion so far, no arguing and no derailing! Yay! Still a few I havent heard from,going to wait and see what they have to say.
    Pssst, you can PM them to ask them to join (says the woman who hates patience. lol)
    kaylagrl likes this.

  9. #29
    Senior Member Dan58's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men,Do You Appreciate Your Wives?!


    She changes her name.. What's in a name?

    Changes her home.. He does too

    Leaves her family... So does he

    Moves in with you.... Or he moves in with her, they usually get a place together.

    Gets pregnant for you.... No so sure she's just doing it for the husband?

    Bears children for you.... And then you pay for those children for the next 20 years

    Pregnancy destroys her body.... Not always true, but even so, how does that benefit a man?

    She gets fat... Thank goodness men never get fat.

    Almost give up in the labor room due to the unexplanable pain. Over 30% get a caesarean section

    Even the kids she delivers bear your name.. How is that construed as a sacrifice the wife makes?

    Till the day she dies everything she does benefits you so.... Not my experience

    who is really doing who a favor? ... Its really a mutual sacrifice

    Jack, appreciate your wife today because it is not easy to be a woman
    Jane, appreciate your husband today because it is not easy to be a man either.

    I agree that a husband and wife should appreciate each other, but its a 2-way street.
    It doesn't work so well when only one partners does all the giving... if at all.

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  10. #30
    Senior Member kaylagrl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men,Do You Appreciate Your Wives?!

    Quote Originally Posted by nw2u View Post
    Oh, come on, now. You must have an opinion you don't need shaped by others? Just messin' with ya. Still waiting impatiently. You thought I forgot. ha!


    Hahahhaa! Oh Im never behind the door in my opinions.My husband was a Democrat when we met, by election time that year he voted Republican.lol lol lol He cant believe he ever voted democrat.
    nw2u and atwhatcost like this.

  11. #31
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    Default Re: Men,Do You Appreciate Your Wives?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Agricola View Post
    The statement in that graphic of the original post, comes across as if it was written by a feminist who has been treated badly by a man.

    This world is broken, humans seem to treat others with hate more than love. A Christian marriage should be bullet proof, but of course being on front line is under attack even more, so we still see plenty of casualties in Christian marriages, however there is the advantage of having God and Christ as role model and of course the marriage itself is an image of the church, that is a huge difference between a non-Christian couple trying to make a marriage work.
    I appreciated my wife, I loved her unconditionally, devoted time to her and did all the right things, but she still ended up thinking she could have a better life with someone else and left me. My point here that its not just women who are victims of uncaring attitudes and treatment.
    Agricola, this makes me feel sad for you. Wow! Uhm, how do you get along these days?

    The last few weddings I've been to, I've had watery eyes. I'm a guy. A man. Watery eyes at a wedding! No, I don't need a tissue. But I could easily shed tears. The vows and all they mean and suggest, and a man and woman make them to each other. And knowing the good and not so good times of marriage. And then knowing God. All that. So I get watery eyes.

    You kept your vows...you kept yours. Hate to hear what happened.

    Just feel bad for you.
    kaylagrl likes this.

  12. #32
    carolb
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    Default Re: Men,Do You Appreciate Your Wives?!

    I think a lot of men have big shoulders, as many times blame is put upon them. Women blame them for All their unhappiness. Not in all relationships, but in a young marriages when a woman might depend so much on their husband, this can present a big burden. Women have a tendency to feel loved only by the things that a husband might do for her; so she may constantly nag him to do things for her. Even if maybe he might not do many household chores, if he spends his day laboring & providing for his family, that is what really matters. Don't fault Him for everything. Mutual respect is so important. Build him up, don't break him down. Accept & Love first and foremost. Women and husbands need to remember that their utmost love is in the Father (God) first. Only the Lord is perfect, and all humans will let each other down (in any marriage- at one time or another). Forgiveness & love from the grace of God teaches us every day, how to create a marriage if unity. Remember, one day we all become one. None of us will be male or female.
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  13. #33
    Senior Member Ugly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men,Do You Appreciate Your Wives?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Angela53510 View Post
    PS. In a perverse way, the OP is all about the husband. About what his wife does for him. Not about the special things he does for her, or even acknowledging that a wife is so much more than a stereotype created more in the movies and TV, than God creating each partner "in His Image."
    He's highlighting the many things that women traditionally do and stating to men to appreciate these sacrifices. The point of it is not to brag on himself for all he does which is actually what you are complaining he's not doing, it's to put the spotlight on the wives and applaud them. Neither is he stereotyping anyone. He's commenting on what he knows and understands about marriage. The key point of the statement is to encourage men to appreciate their wives for all that they do. Personally i find it somewhat perverse to take this simple, well intended message and pick it apart and tear it down while criticizing the speaker to begin with. Seems with feminism becoming some commonplace men can't even encourage other men to appreciate their own wives without someone trying to twist it into something bad and demonize the man for the good deed.
    And, as a man, when i read this, i didn't think 'hollywood stereotype'. I thought 'yeah, he's right, i need to remember this for when i get married'. And while he isn't married himself, it's pretty obvious the way the family as a whole view their wives. With much respect and appreciation both for what they do as wives, and also who they are as people and women.
    kaylagrl and atwhatcost like this.
    Give me a new voice
    Give me a heart for repentance and make it stay
    Cause I've idolized my words
    It's all my fault
    But it's comfortable
    ~Poured Out, Rival Choir~

  14. #34
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    Default Re: Men,Do You Appreciate Your Wives?!

    Depending on where you from or on you were raised or on how the society expect the wife to be. Where I come from you are expected to obey, respect your husband and in-laws, women do not have much of a voice oropinions. I raise my boys differently, to respect, hounor and appreciate women. And for my daughter I wouldn't wish for her to marry in the similar situation like me, I know it sounds bad, but I wouldn't wish for her to go through the difficulties I went through because of culture, and I'm not sorry that I want the better life for my kids than I did.
    kaylagrl and atwhatcost like this.

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    Senior Member wisebeardman's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men,Do You Appreciate Your Wives?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Dan58 View Post

    I agree that a husband and wife should appreciate each other, but its a 2-way street.
    It doesn't work so well when only one partners does all the giving... if at all.

    this guy wins the thread.
    GuessWho likes this.

  16. #36
    atwhatcost
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    Default Re: Men,Do You Appreciate Your Wives?!

    Quote Originally Posted by kaylagrl View Post
    Hahahhaa! Oh Im never behind the door in my opinions.My husband was a Democrat when we met, by election time that year he voted Republican.lol lol lol He cant believe he ever voted democrat.
    I wish hubby could have gotten lessons on how to do that from you. Twice in his life he had good friends that were liberals and nonbelievers. Both times it took him a good ten years to get through to them the importance of God. Both became Republicans AND Catholics! Apparently he was doing something right but not right enough or that fast. lol
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  17. #37
    carolb
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    Default Re: Men,Do You Appreciate Your Wives?!

    [QUOTE=oldthennew;2288201]================================================== =================

    "I still don't know why'?

    WE DO!
    [/QUOTE
    Awesome. Thank you for sharing. Your story speaks of great love & caring for one another.

  18. #38
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    Default Re: Men,Do You Appreciate Your Wives?!

    How about an opinion, Kayla? I can't imagine a reason not to give one, now. You've seen different points of view. They've all been enlightening in some way.
    kaylagrl likes this.

  19. #39
    Senior Member tourist's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men,Do You Appreciate Your Wives?!

    I certainly do appreciate my wife. I have no idea what the bearded guy was saying. He really should shave. A shower might not be a bad idea also.
    M & M's melt in your mouth and not in your hands.

  20. #40
    Senior Member kaylagrl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men,Do You Appreciate Your Wives?!

    Quote Originally Posted by atwhatcost View Post
    I wish hubby could have gotten lessons on how to do that from you. Twice in his life he had good friends that were liberals and nonbelievers. Both times it took him a good ten years to get through to them the importance of God. Both became Republicans AND Catholics! Apparently he was doing something right but not right enough or that fast. lol


    Haha I guess Im just pretty straight forward.When we first started dating he asked me to go see a Micheal Moore move,the anti-christ to my family,lol. I said "ya sure,I know what I think and believe". So we went and I sat and listened like a nice little lady.
    Then he made the deadly mistake of asking what I thought. I said "ok,just remember,you asked!" I hit him with so many fact and truths his head was spinning. He said "I never thought of it that way!" We talked a lot over the months and by the time elections rolled around he voted Republican. He said " I cant believe I was so blinded by liberal news."
    tourist likes this.

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