My Faith has gone!

Exophis · Oct 3, 2015

my last visit and my last post

today my faith in God vanished i have stopped believing!

why? because today i watched my brother die in front of me in hospital he has had a heart condition since the day he was born and today it took him from us a 21 year old young man and father

i felt so helpless watching him slip away knowing there was nothing i could do i prayed and prayed but nothing worked

i visited my local church group i explained what had happened to my friends and fellow christians and one evil piece of scum said "well that's what happens if you're an atheist God Punishes you" (my brother was a atheist) i could of punched him there and then but i left vowing never to return to that church or religion. how god could take away an innocent life like his is screwing with my mind i cant follow a god like that anymore

everything is a mess for me at the moment my brother and my faith have gone two things very important to me gone in the same day but mostly its his daughter i am most concerned for shes only 9 months old and she has lost her father

i have met some truly wonderful people on this site and i thank you all i enjoyed my brief stay here but i feel empty now i cant justifie been on a christian site any longer knowing i no longer believe

goodbye and thank you

Exophis

atwhatcost · Oct 3, 2015

Exophis said:

I became a Christian when I was 16 -- six months after finding out Mom had cancer and three months before she died from that cancer. In those three months I was a believer many many prayed with me that God would heal Mom. One guy actually went to Mom's bed and laid hands on her. Everyone told me that God would heal her.

And then she died.

And then I was whisked off to my Dad's who lived 1500 miles away from all those people who told me God would heal Mom so I never had time to find out why they lied to me.

But, I am older now and have been with God ever since.

Here's the thing. Not one of us gets off this planet alive. We're all going to die. Since dying isn't the end of the story, then what's the problem?

The real problem is we truly, deeply, eternally love our family. We don't want anything bad to happen to them and we really, really don't want to face the world without them for so long after they go. Where was your brother in relationship to God? If he was a believer, then guess what! He no longer hurts. He feels great. Everything is wonderful for him. Your brother is getting exactly what you've always wanted for him. He gets to enjoy God forever and that is great joy. And he does it in a body that will never hurt nor give out on him. Can it get any better than that?

And then there is the opposite of that. Mom never trusted God. I won't see her again. That truly does hurt and I do not see how that hurt disappears in heaven, but God promises no more tears and sorrow, so apparently it does.

And I miss her. 43 years later and I miss her.

But that she was not saved shows me what needs to be done for the rest of my family. It put an urgency that hasn't gone away in 43 years. None of them believe. (One actually stopped believing for the same reason you are. If he would let me ask, I would ask him what I ask you, "What were you expecting? Eternal pain on earth for her/him?" We all die. There is no get-out-of-jail-free card to stop that, so how than do we live? And is death so horrible?")

So, I get you're hurting now. I will pray God's comfort on you. He does give that, even in the hurting. But are you angry because you don't get to see your brother for a long time or are you angry because he's not saved?

If the former, he is in pure joy. God is giving him what you always wanted him to have.

If the later, use this to be motivation to be with your family eternally.

JeniBean · Oct 3, 2015

If you wish to talk through what you are going through with someone who has lost their younger brother. PM me. If you do not wish to talk I can wholeheartdley understand. However please understand that the devil will seek you at your lowest time. Do not allow this! It is easy to be paralyzed by grief and anger. By allowing any one person with an absolute poor attitude to turn you from GOD is not going to help you through this. I am praying for you.

shotgunner · Oct 3, 2015

I am very sorry to hear of your brother's death but God did not take his life away. Death came into the world because of the sin of Adam. We now live in a fallen world where death is a natural occurrence for both the saved and unsaved, sinner and saint. You are mad at God but it is Satan you should be mad at.

John 10:10King James Version (KJV)
[SUP]10 [/SUP]The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.

Romans 5:12-21King James Version (KJV)
[SUP]12 [/SUP]Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:
[SUP]13 [/SUP](For until the law sin was in the world: but sin is not imputed when there is no law.
[SUP]14 [/SUP]Nevertheless death reigned from Adam to Moses, even over them that had not sinned after the similitude of Adam's transgression, who is the figure of him that was to come.
[SUP]15 [/SUP]But not as the offence, so also is the free gift. For if through the offence of one many be dead, much more the grace of God, and the gift by grace, which is by one man, Jesus Christ, hath abounded unto many.
[SUP]16 [/SUP]And not as it was by one that sinned, so is the gift: for the judgment was by one to condemnation, but the free gift is of many offences unto justification.
[SUP]17 [/SUP]For if by one man's offence death reigned by one; much more they which receive abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness shall reign in life by one, Jesus Christ.)
[SUP]18 [/SUP]Therefore as by the offence of one judgment came upon all men to condemnation; even so by the righteousness of one the free gift came upon all men unto justification of life.
[SUP]19 [/SUP]For as by one man's disobedience many were made sinners, so by the obedience of one shall many be made righteous.
[SUP]20 [/SUP]Moreover the law entered, that the offence might abound. But where sin abounded, grace did much more abound:
[SUP]21 [/SUP]That as sin hath reigned unto death, even so might grace reign through righteousness unto eternal life by Jesus Christ our Lord.

GuessWho · Oct 3, 2015

May God rest your brother in peace.

Tompa · Oct 3, 2015

Sorry about your lose may your brother rest in peace!

bovine_mind · Oct 3, 2015

If "death came into the world because of the sin of Adam", why didn't the death of Jesus pay for that original sin, and satisfy God to restore at least SOME of the original specifications of earthly existence?

shotgunner · Oct 3, 2015

bovine_mind said:

It will be when the time is right. I can't comment on God's timing other than I believe he knows better than I do what is best.

1 Corinthians 15:21-26King James Version (KJV)
[SUP]21 [/SUP]For since by man came death, by man came also the resurrection of the dead.
[SUP]22 [/SUP]For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive.
[SUP]23 [/SUP]But every man in his own order: Christ the firstfruits; afterward they that are Christ's at his coming.
[SUP]24 [/SUP]Then cometh the end, when he shall have delivered up the kingdom to God, even the Father; when he shall have put down all rule and all authority and power.
[SUP]25 [/SUP]For he must reign, till he hath put all enemies under his feet.
[SUP]26 [/SUP]The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death.

lihle · Oct 4, 2015

Sorry about your lose may his sole rest in peace. I can understand how you would feel like that, when I lost my husband I felt so helpless because I was praying so hard for him and I asked for prayers from everyone i know. When he passed i just couldn't pray anymore, I would kneel down and just cry I didn't know what to pray for anymore. When I went to councilling afterwards I was told that losing your faith is one of the steps in a grieving process. Although I wouldn't say I wanted to give up on my faith I just felt so helpless and even blamed myself at times. I suggest that you find yourself a good councillor so you can deal with these feeling, talking about your lose helps and you get some perspective on how you feel like that. My prayers are with you and your family.

atwhatcost · Oct 4, 2015

bovine_mind said:

Good question. How about not asking it on someone's post who just lost his younger brother today?

Dan58 · Oct 4, 2015

Everyone dies Exophis, your anger towards God is misdirected. You wrote that your brother was born with this heart condition, and yet he had 21 wonderful years. Try to be grateful for the time he had, and the little girl he brought into the world. Your sad now because you think you've been robbed of someone close to you, but there are no guarantee's in life for Christians or atheist, some just die young. I hope you'll reconsider your decision, because now you need your faith more than ever.

And consider that God heard your prayers and eased your brothers suffering. I doubt you've lost your faith, your just upset now because life is not fair. Every Christian prays for the life of a dying relative, but if God answered every prayer, no one would have ever died. You also don't know the last moment thoughts of your brother, he may have prayed and had a death bed conversion. Imagine that if he now lives with the Lord, what he may think of your decision? Keep the faith, you don't really know the heart of your brother, and our hope is that no one in Christ will ever perish. Wouldn't it be sad if he gained everlasting life via a last minute revelation, while at the same time, your throwing in the towel?

Pilkington · Oct 4, 2015

My heart really goes out to you. It is so hard when we lose someone we love, particularly when that person is young. It just feels so wrong and so unfair. I am not give you some trite comment which will not help you in the slightest. Try not to judge all Christians or Churches by what someone said to you. God doesn't punish you for being an atheist.

... He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. Matthew 5:45

Whether we are atheists or Christians we still receive God's common grace. Bad things happen to good people.

Are you close to your brother's partner and your niece. You can keep his memory alive by sharing with his daughter about her Dad. You could put together a photo album and information all about it.

bovine_mind · Oct 4, 2015

atwhatcost said:

So far, the original poster has been on this CHRISTIAN site, and hasn't found an answer, and says he will leave the board. He went to a CHRISTIAN church, and someone told him, "...if you're an atheist, god punishes you", and he left that church, vowing to never return. Another CHRISTIAN on this topic told him that her Mom didn't trust God, so she will never see her again. Another CHRISTIAN here said "the Devil will seek you at your lowest". Another CHRISTIAN here said, "may he rest in peace", maybe not knowing the CHRISTIAN destiny for the "unsaved": hardly a group of comforting, unified responses. Then I get grief for posting a question about Christian theory, not even REFERENCING the name and situation of the original poster. Could God maybe be even more loving and forgiving than what the Bible suggests ? Or maybe not ?

Pilkington · Oct 4, 2015

Bovine_mind your post is unfair. Yes Christians will give different responses and none of those responses are contradictionary but are emphasizing different things as they feel lead to by God. Maybe it would be better if you had said nothing or showed some compassion and sympathy.

bovine_mind · Oct 4, 2015

Pilkington said:

I could say the same thing about some of the Christians who have already responded to him because of his loss. My thought is, as I said above, God may be even more loving than Christians and the Bible lead people to believe.

atwhatcost · Oct 4, 2015

bovine_mind said:

Definitely more than you though. You're all about mememe even in the middle of someone's sorrow.

Rudimental · Oct 4, 2015

Exophis said:

Hey Exophis I'm sorry to hear that man my condolences to you and your family. I hope that you all will pull through and pray for you all.

From your post I am inspired to say some words of hope and peace for you.

Again, I am really sorry to hear about your loss of your brother. What is his name? Is he your younger or older brother? He sounds like he's a top man anyway! He must have been so brave!

But brother, I can only guess the pain and loss you feel now. I know what its like to loose a brother as one of mine died of cot death and another was run over and killed, plus my uncle recently passed away to cancer right around the time that I lost my beloved kemosabe german shepherd dog as well. It's hard because death is not something there is anything coming back from and that's the hardest thing to accept about it. But with it also comes time, and time is the best healer.

Now is a grieving process, and you will need time to grieve, but over time, you will learn to grow with it. Some people say its gets easier with time but I don't think thats really true. I just think that we learn to live with it, little by little each day, every day, every week, month and year, we grow the skills to learn to live with it because after all, we have to, we have no choice but to go on, because life does go on for us. And we must go on not just for ourselves, but for them as well. We must go on to live as that is what they would ultimately want for us. As is part of life.

Ecclesiastes 3
3 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

In life these things will happen. I'd like to tell you that nobody will ever die. But its also in life to live one life and then die and then face judgement. People will come and go in your life friend. I pray it never happens but one day me and you both will both probably live to bury our grandparents or our parents too one day. Probably not what you want to hear right now but also maybe you needed to hear it too for strength somehow? But as much as its hard to say or hear

Right now you are at a crossroads with your faith with God. Sometimes in life these things are sent to test our faith. Or at the least, God can and certainly does use our own life's events as a way to do so. 1 Chronicles 29:17 I know also, my God, that thou triest the heart, and Jeremiah 17:10 I the LORD search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings.

So basically what I'm saying is don't give up! In fact, do the opposite, use the steam to power your dreams. Go on to achieve the things that your brother would have wanted you to. Or at least just to be the good person you are. Remember the things he taught you, read the books he read, remember his life and give thanks to God for it. His life was a gift to you just as much as it was to him.

I see you said you prayed a lot too and nothing worked. But that's not how prayer works. We must believe that He will answer that prayer to the best of His knowledge and ability and according to HIS will and not ours. I'm not saying that your prayers were not heard. Before you even speak he knows what you're going to say, I'm not saying that you never prayed properly either. But you must realize that God ultimately knows what's best for your life. Even when WE think we know whats best for ourselves or for others, it is God who is in control of every string. Of every outcome in our lives when we are in Him, in fellowship with Him. God ALWAYS answers prayers. He answers in either 1 of 3 ways, its either a yes, a no, or a wait.

Sometimes when God says no to us its not to punish us for God is a loving God! He knows how to give much greater gifts than we ask for so sometimes the no is because he has something better for us instead. Or sometimes its no because of other reasons beyond our control or understanding. Thats where it can get frustrating and we can loose faith at the last minute. But through it all, we must be sold on the promise that God is in control and He is not a God that lies and will fulfil all His promises no matter what happens and those include reuniting you with your brother in a place and on terms that is far greater than your imagination could even conceive of. Please believe that.

I hope that can bring you some comfort right now and helps you understand things a bit more clearly.

I'm so pleased about what you said about meeting some truly good people on here. These are the same people that God has put in your path because He knows you will get on with them. These are the same people that you will meet and greet one day as if you have always known them even though you haven't met them yet and only knew them through this forum.

When life brings you lemons, call me and I'll bring the vodka okay?

Chin up good fella my heart goes out to you and your family in this tough time.

God bless.

Billyd · Oct 4, 2015

Exophis said:

my last visit and my last post

today my faith in God vanished i have stopped believing!

why? because today i watched my brother die in front of me in hospital he has had a heart condition since the day he was born and today it took him from us a 21 year old young man and father

i felt so helpless watching him slip away knowing there was nothing i could do i prayed and prayed but nothing worked

i visited my local church group i explained what had happened to my friends and fellow christians and one evil piece of scum said "well that's what happens if you're an atheist God Punishes you" (my brother was a atheist) i could of punched him there and then but i left vowing never to return to that church or religion. how god could take away an innocent life like his is screwing with my mind i cant follow a god like that anymore

everything is a mess for me at the moment my brother and my faith have gone two things very important to me gone in the same day but mostly its his daughter i am most concerned for shes only 9 months old and she has lost her father

i have met some truly wonderful people on this site and i thank you all i enjoyed my brief stay here but i feel empty now i cant justifie been on a christian site any longer knowing i no longer believe

goodbye and thank you

Exophis

Brother, it is in these difficult time that you need someone to listen. In the days ahead you will find the answers to you questions. I am here just to listen. If you need me, please PM me. You and your entire family will be in my family prayers in the days and weeks to come.

Angela53510 · Oct 4, 2015

I see you are still a member. I pray that God will minister to you, as you get over the terrible grief of losing your brother.

As for your status with God, God is the one who gives faith. You cannot lose it. Either you have it, or you don't!

"For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God,9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast." Eph. 2:8-9

But you can become very angry with God, and that is part of the grieving process.

Praying for you to slowly come to grips with the loss you have experienced.

wiggledy · Oct 5, 2015

I'm really sorry to hear about your loss. There just aren't words that would be consolation enough at the moment but I hope you feel that you aren't alone in your grief. Please stay and share with this community what you are going through. You'll find many here who will listen and offer you some words of comfort. True Christians don't judge others for not living up to Christian standards. Christ always taught to have love and compassion for others, regardless of who they are. Please keep the company of good people especially in your most difficult time. Take care and hang in there.

My Faith has gone!

Exophis

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