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S
Wow, guess we hit a hot spot here. I just want to say that I agree with the overreacting. Sometimes children are just being children. Talk to both children normally, find out for sure nothing really happened. Explain what happened to your son, that he saw something that is only for parents and married people and not for him until he is much older.
Then go on with your life. Although I disagree about your husband being the one to talk with him. After scaring the wits out of the child I think you should be there with your husband so your child knows you overeacted and that you are not angry and still love him. Its good for parents to admit they are wrong to their children when they are wrong.
I also agree that maybe you can find some verses that might help, nothing scary just simple verses about love and Jesus and the like. I hope it works out for you.
I will say a prayer that it will.
Debbie
Then go on with your life. Although I disagree about your husband being the one to talk with him. After scaring the wits out of the child I think you should be there with your husband so your child knows you overeacted and that you are not angry and still love him. Its good for parents to admit they are wrong to their children when they are wrong.
I also agree that maybe you can find some verses that might help, nothing scary just simple verses about love and Jesus and the like. I hope it works out for you.
I will say a prayer that it will.
Debbie
Welcome to ChristianChat. I'm not sure what to advise you on this as I'm certain I would have reacted exactly how you did in shock. I guess just do as others have instructed on here in giving him an age appropriate sex talk and discussing the right & wrong touching stuff. Your husband definitely should be there. After that I wouldnt discuss it again but I would make a point to reinforce your love for him. I think that your baby girl needs an age appropriate talk where you tell her that no one is allowed to touch her private areas except mommy when giving a bath to wash & she needs to tell mommy if ever that happens. I would seek a professional councellor's advice on how to proceed too. I just wish you the best in this. Please do continue to come to ChristianChat & let us know how things are going. This storm will pass. God Bless your family.
M
I agree both parents need to show love, the boy definetly needs to feel like his mother is not angry and doesn't blame him, especially after the initial reaction....but I think the sex talk itself should be conducted by the father alone, there is a very good chance the boy will be less receptive to it if his mother is present as it increases embarassment and discomfort...in just the same way a girl would feel a lot more uncomfortable talking with her father about female growing issues.
I still disagree with this. Christian parents are quite capable of raising their own children up right. Many have done so very well for 6000 years.
I also am concerned that counselors may be required to report such things to the police and then social services would come and take the kids away. This is serious business and if anyone has watched the videos in my adoption thread you will understand why I give this warning.
Quest
I also am concerned that counselors may be required to report such things to the police and then social services would come and take the kids away. This is serious business and if anyone has watched the videos in my adoption thread you will understand why I give this warning.
Quest
S
OK, I had something happen like this when I was a child. Not with a brother, but with a cousin. It is important that you have a sit down with both children. Both kids need to know what they were doing was not appropriate. It is understandable as a mom myself, I may have freaked out at a situation like this too. The five year old needs to know good touch, bad touch and how to protect the gift that God has given her. I'm not quite sure how to do this with such a little one. Maybe a counselor could help you with some good advise. The son needs to know you love him and he needs to have a talk about sex. I think it is most natural coming from the father, but my son asks me all his questions and I am very open and honest with him. I will answer any and all questions from him. He needs to know it is natural to be curious, but this is something that you only do with you beloved husband or wife. And when you wait for that one person it will be wonderful and is such a gift to share with them. I would pray with him and really let him know he is a good boy that didn't know better, and he does need to ask Gods forgiveness. We all do when we go past our boundaries. If he doesn't get forgiveness, he will have a hard time forgiving himself one day.
M
I'd second this, I don't think it's wise to involve people outside the family in this...of course it's hard to say without knowing more details but unless there is some serious mental trauma I can't see the need for a counsellor, it sounds like a minor incident that's been caught before anything serious has happened....as long as both kids are given good support and are told the rights and wrongs etc. there isn't any need for counsellors, I think that would be an over-reaction...and like QT says it is an over-reaction that can have seriously damaging consequences.
If this incident gets reported that can soon escalate into child services looking into your entire family life and from there a nightmare can ensue...I know it sounds a bit paranoid but in an age where children are so readily expolited and abused minor incidents that are part of growing up get taken out of context and innocent parents and families get persecuted...deal with this yourself.
If this incident gets reported that can soon escalate into child services looking into your entire family life and from there a nightmare can ensue...I know it sounds a bit paranoid but in an age where children are so readily expolited and abused minor incidents that are part of growing up get taken out of context and innocent parents and families get persecuted...deal with this yourself.