The psychotic family

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RickyZ

Senior Member
Sep 20, 2012
9,635
787
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#1
My wife's aunt (a TOTAL control freak b!tch) took her mom (who has had a stroke and cannot speak) to her hometown 2 years ago, but returned early. For those 2 years she has blamed the early return on her mom, saying as soon as she got there mom wanted to come home. I found out from those in town that was a lie. The control freak was mistreating her mom (as she does with everyone), and when she was called out on it by her cousin (who never goes off on anyone) the control freak left.

My wife's sister (who recently died of ovarian cancer) was married to an absolute abuser. This father continued to abuse his son until his son told his teacher. the teacher called child services who took the boy from him. The father told child service that he never touched his son, that it was his dead wife (who was a total pacifist) who beat on him.

The whole family, except for my wife and I and her brother and his wife have rallied around the dad, blaming my wife for everything. One niece even went onto facebook and threatened her. Funny thing is, child services placed the kid with us. With us, he went from a defiant wild child to a good and pleasurable kid. He was put back with his father yesterday and it's meltdown city once again.

What do you do with a family who places blame for their actions on people who can't speak up and defend themselves with the truth? Who think this kid and his father should be left alone to duke it out in a last man standing format? The control freak is absolutely psychotic and needs serious help and medication. But she rules the roost and no one but us will challenge her - and of course to all of them WE are the problem.

What do you do with people like this? Especially when they are family? I'm washing my hands of all of them. They are family no more.
 
Jun 23, 2015
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#2
It seems to me that it is beneficial to the boy for you and your wife to stick around for his sake. How old is he any ways?
 

RickyZ

Senior Member
Sep 20, 2012
9,635
787
113
#3
He's 11. We will keep contact with him, and with Jan's brother Jim and his wife, and Jan's mom, but as far as the rest of them we're out. We're tired of the abuse, this has been a lifetime issue and we're done. Don't expect to see us at any family gatherings.
 

RickyZ

Senior Member
Sep 20, 2012
9,635
787
113
#4
And I misspoke. It wasn't my wife's aunt, but one of her sisters. One of the kid's aunts.
 

notuptome

Senior Member
May 17, 2013
15,050
2,538
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#5
How to have a witness and testimony for Christ in that situation? They are likely not saved people. As rotten as they are they still need Jesus as Savior or they will spend eternity in the lake of fire.

Jonah was not thrilled to go to Nineveh.

For the cause of Christ
Roger
 
S

Sirk

Guest
#6
Boundaries. Non-emotionally stated boundaries. Tough to do in the thick of it but has a much better impact in the long term.
 

RickyZ

Senior Member
Sep 20, 2012
9,635
787
113
#7
How to have a witness and testimony for Christ in that situation? They are likely not saved people. As rotten as they are they still need Jesus as Savior or they will spend eternity in the lake of fire.

Jonah was not thrilled to go to Nineveh.

For the cause of Christ
Roger
Thanks Roger, I understand what you are saying. But we have lived the example, shown them the fruit, and they have pissed in the Cheerios. Time to shake the dust from our feet and leave them to their evil.
 

Angela53510

Senior Member
Jan 24, 2011
11,780
2,937
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#8
Sorry to hear you have such a crazy people in the family! And amazing what God has done in your life, to both be sane and sensible, and caring and loving to this poor child.

Boundaries is a good book to read - Cloud and Townsend are the authors. It is a way of keeping in contact, without letting them destroy you.
 

RickyZ

Senior Member
Sep 20, 2012
9,635
787
113
#9
Thank you. It's nice to know that at least one person thinks I'm sane (I'm not even sure any more! :) )
 
S

Sirk

Guest
#10
Thank you. It's nice to know that at least one person thinks I'm sane (I'm not even sure any more! :) )
Man can I relate to this! When you get beat up so thoroughly by hurting dysfunctional people, you start to doubt your own sanity.
 

RickyZ

Senior Member
Sep 20, 2012
9,635
787
113
#11
Some people think I'm crazy for loving God - but God loves me even if I'm crazy!