CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE PERCEPTIVE

[chanchuinchoy]

I wonder why the breakdown in relationship/marriage is so prevalent in 'christian countries' compared to non-christian countries. As christians, we believed that our God, Johovah is Almighty. He is the creator of relationships/marriage of mankind ie Adam and Eve.

In this context, has God wrong? all His principles on relationship/marriage not working? Anyone are welcome to share your views.

 

[tenderhearted]

God gives us choice. He doesn't force his way on us. He gives us commandments and principles to follow because he loves us. Unfortunately, we live in a fallen world and people don't always make good choices. Thank God for His mercy and grace. Personally, I feel that the reason non Christian countries have less of a divorce rate is because they don't have the freedom. It's the culture in which they live in. In many of these countries if someone got a divorce they would not only lose a spouse, but their families would excommunicate them. These women would lose all their support. It's severely frowned upon and a person would bring shame to their family.

In some Middle East countries they would burn a woman to death, if she wanted a divorce. In some countries they don't even marry for love, but for money and status, so for them more is at stake. Just because some countries have less of a divorce rate doesn't make them a healthy home. These same homes have abuse, neglect, loveless marriages, and other sins. Many of these women in other countries feel like slaves and suffer in silence. They have no choice.

God is for marriages. It's suppose to be an example of how He loves his church/people. When two people make God the center of their marriage, it's a beautiful thing. Truthfully, the break down of the family is happening all over the world not just Christian countries.

 

[notuptome]

Moses declared it was because the hearts of men were hard toward God.

God has never been for divorce. Divorce illustrates the relationship of wayward Israel toward Jehovah God who steadfastly loves His people and desires to bless them. Jesus said that of them as well.

Mt 23:37 O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not!

Lu 13:34 O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, which killest the prophets, and stonest them that are sent unto thee; how often would I have gathered thy children together, as a hen doth gather her brood under her wings, and ye would not!

For the cause of Christ
Roger

 

[Dino246]

Several thoughts... divorce is not new, though it has become much more socially acceptable in 'western' countries. It is much easier for a divorced woman to support herself (or received support from the government) so it is a more viable option economically. There is support for abused women, so fewer stay in bad relationships.

The heart of humankind has not changed; we are still just as selfish, greedy, impatient and sinful as we ever were.

Is staying in a bad marriage really better than divorcing? I'm not sure I would agree. I would always advocate trying to save a marriage unless there is abuse. I think if two people are committed to the Lord first and the marriage second, there is always hope. But where there are other viable options and people are not committed to the Lord, there will be divorces.

 

[PoetMary]

I wonder why the breakdown in relationship/marriage is so prevalent in 'christian countries' compared to non-christian countries. As christians, we believed that our God, Johovah is Almighty. He is the creator of relationships/marriage of mankind ie Adam and Eve.

In this context, has God wrong? all His principles on relationship/marriage not working? Anyone are welcome to share your views.

The reason that you see divorce as more prevalent in Western countries compared to certain Middle Eastern and Asian countries has a lot to do with the position of women in those countries. In many of these developing countries, women are considered a "lesser" kind of citizen. Women babies are killed or abandoned. There are dowry systems that make it very difficult for women to marry (and once they do marry, very difficult to divorce even if their husbands are abusive). There is a lack of education for many women (except the very wealthy). There is a lack of support for women in the court systems. There are few job opportunities for women. Often women who would want to leave their husbands will lose all custody and contact with their children. There is a lack of community support for divorced women.

So, the ONLY option that women really have to improve their lives or establish any kind of security is via marriage. This means that women will stay in untenable marriages because they literally have no other option. These marriages don't last because they reflect a Godly model that is lacking in the Western world. They last because women are a sub-class that is completely dependent upon men.

The Christian model is for husbands to love their wives AS CHRIST LOVES THE CHURCH and gave himself for her. There are plenty of men in non-Western nations that cheat on their wives, or abuse their wives, or who view their wives as purely utilitarian vehicles for creating life-comfort and bearing children. The fact that they manage to behave so badly and STILL keep a wife is no testament to them. Their marriage isn't more "Godly" than a Western marriage. It's based on selfishness and convenience. It's only his culture that forces HIS wife to stay, whereas a Western wife would leave.

The Christian model for wives is that they submit to their husbands as they would submit to Christ. The wives in these countries do generally submit to their husbands (at least overtly...I'm sure there is plenty of subversive non-submission). However, they aren't doing it for the right motive. It's not done out of love for Christ or their husband, but because they have no choice. Their communities would not support them if they wanted to leave, so they have to put up with their husbands no matter what. This is not true submission...it's mere subservience.

The country with the highest divorce rate is Russia...which has a mixed Western/Asian background. Also, in Asian countries that are not Christian, but are Westernized (meaning that women have more access to education, job opportunities, social power, political power, etc.) then you also see higher divorce rates. Look at Japan, for example. The divorce rate there is similar to many European countries. Additionally, there are several Western nations (specifically South American) that have low divorce rates.

 

[chanchuinchoy]

thanks all for your comments. Allow me to share what asia christians perception about marriage. We believed and accept that marriage is once in a lifetime. You made your marriage vow "till date do us apart" in God's sanctuary once in your lifetime. Along the road, there will be mishaps, problems but the couple is committed to work things out to find solutions. This is possible, because before the couple decides to tie the knot, both have already made up their mind and considered that the other person is going to be their life partner.

The marriage that you were talking about only happens in third world countries. Countries like China, Japan, South Korea etc.. has evolved over time. Their women have the ability to earn a living for themselves and less dependant on men. Some even took up the role of bread winner for the family when their husbands are jobless due to various reasons.

 

[tenderhearted]

thanks all for your comments. Allow me to share what asia christians perception about marriage. We believed and accept that marriage is once in a lifetime. You made your marriage vow "till date do us apart" in God's sanctuary once in your lifetime. Along the road, there will be mishaps, problems but the couple is committed to work things out to find solutions. This is possible, because before the couple decides to tie the knot, both have already made up their mind and considered that the other person is going to be their life partner.

The marriage that you were talking about only happens in third world countries. Countries like China, Japan, South Korea etc.. has evolved over time. Their women have the ability to earn a living for themselves and less dependant on men. Some even took up the role of bread winner for the family when their husbands are jobless due to various reasons.

I know for a fact that in South Korea and Japan it is the cultural norm for men to go out and drink with their co-workers instead of going home to their wives and children. They put a high priority on work relationships. The reason I know this is because I had the privilege of befriending and ministering to a wife from South Korea and from Japan. In fact the lady from South Korea was getting ready to go back and she was very sad because she really appreciated that here in America, we encourage eating dinner with the family. She said when she went home her and the kids would hardly get any time, which sounds like neglect to me.

I am all for marriage, however there's more to it then that. I believe that a family should be prioritized over work and friendships. Quality time with family is essential in order to build healthy relationships. A husband and wife should serve each other. Men have to be the spiritual leaders of their homes and Buddha and Allah aren't the answer. These Asian countries you are talking about are spiritually dead and in need of Jesus. If we don't share the gospel with these people they will be lost for eternity and staying married till death do us part will not save them.