Husband wants to leave me

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pearl777

Guest
#1
I am lost for words after 20 years of being faithful to my husband he wants to leave now. We have no children together, but a lot of hurt, pain, and happiness through the years. We both have health issues .I'm feeling really lost .I don't have any friends I can really talk to that's why I turned to Christian Chat my heart is totally devastated. My sister in Christ saw him the other day having coffee with another lady. I know he's having an affair but will not admit to it. How could my angel break my heart?? Help please
 

PennEd

Senior Member
Apr 22, 2013
12,923
8,656
113
#2
I am lost for words after 20 years of being faithful to my husband he wants to leave now. We have no children together, but a lot of hurt, pain, and happiness through the years. We both have health issues .I'm feeling really lost .I don't have any friends I can really talk to that's why I turned to Christian Chat my heart is totally devastated. My sister in Christ saw him the other day having coffee with another lady. I know he's having an affair but will not admit to it. How could my angel break my heart?? Help please
I am truly sorry to hear you are going through this. You are a beautiful child of the one true King. Remember that. You are greatly loved by a heavenly Father. I pray in Jesus name, that His Hand would be on your situation.
 
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pearl777

Guest
#3
Thank you so much for your prayers. I am a true warrior and I will not give up unless directed by my Lord Jesus Christ . My husband is also a minister like myself. I will continue to hold on through the tears.
 
Nov 30, 2013
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#5
Hello Pearl777,


I am sorry about the pain that you are going through at the moment. Actually your husband is going through pain too, he just doesn't know it yet. All that glitters is not gold. Did you know that your husband is not an angel? No human being is perfect, its a fallacy that we tell our self when we formulate relationships. The only true profitable recourse that you can make, is to leave him in the hand of God to work out God's purpose for the both of you. I know that you want to run after him but don't because it was his choice to leave and cheat..so until he has had enough of the rat race, and acknowledge his wrong against the marriage covenant, you will be wasting your time to constantly call and chase him down. God can do all things to bring this marriage back together...but you have to cooperate with God.

When you think about your relationship with your husband, who got most of the attention, God or your husband? God says, he that loves father, mother more than Me, is not worthy of the kingdom. Sadly God has to shake things up in our lives to get our attention. This is not to belittle you at all..but its a reality of life. No person can give you the answers you are seeking to repair your marriage accept direct your attention to the Word of God for comfort and direction.
Work on your relationship with God, while you are waiting for your husband to come home spiritually, mentally and physically. Your husband has to find God before there can be healing in the marriage.

For I know the thoughts that I have towards you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. You will call upon Me and pray to Me and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with ALL your heart. I will be found by you, says the LORD. Jeremiah 29:11-14
 
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popeye

Guest
#6
this is for you pearl.
I have watched it in hard times.Truly is soothing.



[video=youtube;i6ZmC_HTlHI]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6ZmC_HTlHI[/video]
 
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gardeniagirl75

Guest
#7
I am so sorry you have to go through this. I would not blame you if you are feeling blind-sided and hurt. You don't deserve this. I have bad luck with men myself. 3 months ago my boyfriend of 8 months decided he could not bring him self to marry me a week and a half after a female relative of his 2nd ex-wife moves in! He begged me to move in with him after we had been dating 3 months. Most likely because I am doing the secondary virginity thing. I wish I had some advice for you but I can not figure men out myself. Please don't hesitate to chat with me on here. I am here for you:)

Kari
 
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popeye

Guest
#8
Stand your ground.

Call out HIS name in faith,and invoke HIS SPIRIT to empower you to walk in faith with peace and joy.

He is the "inspite of God" even in this great heartbreaking battle there is victory,but the victory is NOT involving circumstances.

Walk in the victory David had even when his heart was broken.
 
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pearl777

Guest
#9
Thank you for confirmation. I know my redeemer lives and I will harken unto his voice. I can not thank God enough for using you to help make me free from the bandage that was trying to take over me. I will seek God's face and direct my energy towards him. I will continue to give him all the glory and honour in Jesus name. He is my redeemer and I know he is a jealous God. The time I've spent crying and begging for what I don't know, but I do know that if you ask God for help with a sincere heart he will deliver. Thank you again for your much needed wisdom shared with me from God. May God add riches and no sorrows to your life in Jesus name. And by the way I do know that angels are not humans forgive me for using that phrase.
 
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pearl777

Guest
#10
Hi Kari thank you for your concern. I really have never had problems with men in the past. But because I and my husband are called to greatness through Christ I now understand the battles. It is not against the flesh it's a spiritual warfare and I am ready to put my armour back on and fight for what God has in store for me. I will stand in the gap for my husband also but this time he will have to fight for himself also I truly love him but I love God more. I pray that you know that you are fearfully and wonderfully made in Jesus name continue to hold on to your virginity. Just know that God has a special person just for you. Love to you and encouragement.
 
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popeye

Guest
#11
this is for you pearl
The awful times ,the horrible gut wrenching times, somehow squeeze precious sacrifices of worship if we let him turn our ashes into beauty during these times.

[video=youtube;xKLfwI0oWQw]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xKLfwI0oWQw&list=RDxKLfwI0oWQw#t=8[/video]
 
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pearl777

Guest
#12
I think I sent a message for you to someone else. Please read it you have truly blessed me with encouragement this evening.
 
Nov 22, 2015
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#13
I have been through that very same thing this year. God is faithful to you. He will give you a ward for you to hold on to though this situation. God does not tell Christians to divorce their believing spouses! It His not His will!

You know how a word of scripture "jumps" out at you and you feel within you the peace and joy? God does not dwell in time like we do. He sees your future that He has for your life and then He comes back with the word you need to get you there.

I know all this probably doesn't make much sense now but it will.

Here is a great website to help you know what God's will is for us in these situations. It has helped me.

https://www.rejoiceministries.org

Everything will be alright. He is your life and refuge! He is faithful!


I am lost for words after 20 years of being faithful to my husband he wants to leave now. We have no children together, but a lot of hurt, pain, and happiness through the years. We both have health issues .I'm feeling really lost .I don't have any friends I can really talk to that's why I turned to Christian Chat my heart is totally devastated. My sister in Christ saw him the other day having coffee with another lady. I know he's having an affair but will not admit to it. How could my angel break my heart?? Help please
 

DeanoAlberta

Junior Member
Dec 11, 2015
8
1
0
#14
My wife left me 60 days ago. I understand your pain. I am mad and hurt and feel rejected and betrayed, but as a Christian I made my wife the center of my life, instead of God. So when that gets taken away, we crumble and want to run back and forgive. I think some of the messages said on this thread may sting emotionally, but there is truth in it. Draw close to God and don't enable your husband. You need help for you, you need to deal with your pain. Search out a group in a local church that offers Divorce support. There is a great website called DivorceCare, check it out. I prey you find some comfort in this message, God does love you!
 
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popeye

Guest
#15
Now there was, not far from the place where they lay, a castle, called Doubting Castle, the owner whereof was Giant Despair, and it was in his grounds they now were sleeping: wherefore he, getting up in the morning early, and walking up and down in his fields, caught Christian and Hopeful asleep in his grounds. Then with a grim and surly voice, he bid them awake, and asked them whence they were, and what they did in his grounds. They told him they were pilgrims, and that they had lost their way. Then said the giant, You have this night trespassed on me by trampling in and lying on my grounds, and therefore you must go along with me. So they were forced to go, because he was stronger than they. They also had but little to say, for they knew themselves in a fault. The giant, therefore, drove them before him, and put them into his castle, into a very dark dungeon, nasty and stinking to the spirits of these two men. Here, then, they lay from Wednesday morning till Saturday night, without one bit of bread, or drop of drink, or light, or any to ask how they did; they were, therefore, here in evil case, and were far from friends and acquaintance. Psa. 88:18.

Now Giant Despair arose, he getteth him a grievous crab-tree cudgel, and goes down into the dungeon to them, and there first falls to rating of them as if they were dogs, although they gave him never a word of distaste. Then he falls upon them, and beats them fearfully, in such sort that they were not able to help themselves, or to turn them upon the floor. This done, he withdraws and leaves them there to condole their misery, and to mourn under their distress: so all that day they spent the time in nothing but sighs and bitter lamentations. ....


continued next post
 
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popeye

Guest
#16
Well, on Saturday, about midnight they began to pray, and continued in prayer till almost break of day.
Now, a little before it was day, good Christian, as one half amazed, brake out into this passionate speech: What a fool, quoth he, am I, thus to lie in a stinking dungeon, when I may as well walk at liberty! I have a key in my bosom, called Promise, that will, I am persuaded, open any lock in Doubting Castle. Then said Hopeful, That is good news; good brother, pluck it out of thy bosom, and try.
Then Christian pulled it out of his bosom, and began to try at the dungeon-door, whose bolt, as he turned the key, gave back, and the door flew open with ease, and Christian and Hopeful both came out. Then he went to the outward door that leads into the castle-yard, and with his key opened that door also. After he went to the iron gate, for that must be opened too; but that lock went desperately hard, yet the key did open it. They then thrust open the gate to make their escape with speed; but that gate, as it opened, made such a creaking, that it waked Giant Despair, who hastily rising to pursue his prisoners, felt his limbs to fail, for his fits took him again, so that he could by no means go after them. Then they went on, and came to the King's highway, and so were safe, because they were out of his jurisdiction. Now, when they were gone over the stile, they began to contrive with themselves what they should do at that stile, to prevent those that shall come after from falling into the hands of Giant Despair. So they consented to erect there a pillar, and to engrave upon the side thereof this sentence: "Over this stile is the way to Doubting Castle, which is kept by Giant Despair, who despiseth the King of the Celestial country, and seeks to destroy his holy pilgrims." Many, therefore, that followed after, read what was written, and escaped the danger. This done, they sang as follows:
"Out of the way we went, and then we found
What 'twas to tread upon forbidden ground:
And let them that come after have a care,
Lest heedlessness makes them as we to fare;
Lest they, for trespassing, his prisoners are,
Whose castle's Doubting, and whose name's Despair."​
 
Nov 30, 2013
682
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#17
Thank you for confirmation. I know my redeemer lives and I will harken unto his voice. I can not thank God enough for using you to help make me free from the bandage that was trying to take over me. I will seek God's face and direct my energy towards him. I will continue to give him all the glory and honour in Jesus name. He is my redeemer and I know he is a jealous God. The time I've spent crying and begging for what I don't know, but I do know that if you ask God for help with a sincere heart he will deliver. Thank you again for your much needed wisdom shared with me from God. May God add riches and no sorrows to your life in Jesus name. And by the way I do know that angels are not humans forgive me for using that phrase.


Dear Sister Pearl777,


U are forgiven. I speak from experience, so I understand your pain. I cried to anyone who would listen to me and finally I spoke with my pastor and he told me that God was getting rid of a relationship that was never meant to be. He spoke the truth because I chose that man. I can't say that he was a husband. Husbands band around the family and are the spiritual leaders and protectors of their household. Once he told me that, I stopped crying because he was right on. I had no right to ask God to fix something that He didn't ordain for me.

I really couldn't blame my ex because he was being exactly who he was all along, but I couldn't see it because I was lusting after the flesh. Some people get lonely and desire to have that special someone in our lives..but special really comes from God.
 
Nov 22, 2015
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#18
1 Corinthians 7:10-11 (NASB)
[SUP]10 [/SUP] But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband
[SUP]11 [/SUP] (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife.

This is God's will for believers..He has grace for every situation! He is mighty to save!
 
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pearl777

Guest
#19
Amen and thank you for the words of hope and encouragement. Most of all thank you for the Website you shared with me wow I've ordered 2 CD'S and will follow the advice given. Especially now we have never been apart for Any holidays I didn't even want to put my tree up he did go to the addict and get some of the items down. Today I have hope that we are one day closer to being what God has called us to be as 1.even though he was really mean this evening I know it was not him but the spirit that dwells in him. Thanks again in the sweet name of Jesus.
 
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mokie22yrold

Guest
#20
I'm sorry to hear. My ex did the same thing only we were married a short time. It still hurts. I feel lost to. I loved him unconditionally. I'm trying to lean on Jesus more. He will never leave me or forsake me.