I'm at a loss.. Please help

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blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
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#21
The longer you stay engaged to this guy, the worse and harder it's going to be to break it off.. Get out of this relationship NOW..
 
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Depleted

Guest
#22
I think if we broke up dating would not happen for a very long time.. My kids come 1st and I would def tell people about them.. I love them so much and I'm not ashamed of them or my sins.. Just hard to hurt someone's feelings like that.. But I need to do the right thing also. I want my kids brought up Godly..
Dating will happen when it's supposed to happen -- God's timing. You can't predict how that's going to happen.
 
Feb 2, 2016
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#23
I live on my own with 2 children from previous relationships before I was saved. I am engaged to someone else now but he is not saved and not sure if he will as him mom is saved but not his dad.. Should I marry this person? I'm wrecking my brain about it.. I've been praying asking for guidance so maybe that's why I'm on here today writing this. My daughter 7 got saved in the summer time and my son 11 got saved just last night. So I have my own little Christian family which makes me feel so content.. I just keep having thoughts about marrying someone who isn't saved.. Would it be wrong? Also cause I've got 2 children from other men should I just be single? We have been together nearly 4 years and my kids know him well now. They have relationships when their dads too though.. We don't have sex since I got saved which isn't a problem. If anyone can give me good advice please do. I want to please my Saviour in every way and live as sinless as is humanly possible.. I have dropped hints but he says he doesn't like people throwing religion at him.. This means so much to me and I'm afraid of doing the wrong thing. Stephanie
I'm not judging you, but honestly you need to get on birth control is you're just going to go around having kids with different dudes. If you really feel you're ready to settle down and even want more children, pray for the answer but don't let anything get in the way of love. If you want to raise your kids by taking them to church every Sunday that's up to you but if he agrees to adopt them maybe he'll want them to be atheists. You should really discuss this with him and leave your family out of it as at the end of the day it's the couples discision.
 
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Stephanie1984

Guest
#24
Sorry but I did not go around having kids with different dads.. I've only had a couple of partners. And they where very long term and I was left with my youngest. I don't need to be on birth control now as I'm saved and not having sex as I'm not married.. I'm very offended at the way you wrote that. Sounds like you think my kids came from 1 night stands or something. They both came from love actually.. And he does believe in God.. He's just not saved..
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#25
It doesn't matter how many partners you've had. The fact is, you DO have kids with different fathers. Anyhow, the bible says not to be unequally yoked to unbelievers. This guy may believe in God, but he's not saved. I would definitely rethink getting married to him and break off the engagement before it's too late.
 
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planitsoon

Guest
#26
Hi I would love to help you with this question in the way Paul in the Bible explains it to us. From your story I guess that you were together with your fiancee before you became a Christian. If you came together as husband and wife before you became a Christian than in God's eyes you are married to him. Let me explain with scripture first Corinthians 7 verse 10 until 21. If you were called in this situation than remain if you want. In another part is say's that if we come to Christ all things of the old will be washed away and forgiven and Christ set us free from our old life. That life that you had with your former partners from former realtionships is gone like your former sins. You are a new creation the old has gone the new has come so the partner you had (your fiancee) in the time you came to the Lord is your husband because that was the state God called you in on that moment. So if you want you are free to stay with him as scripture states. Read it for yourself it is very clear in this scripture. Don't feel you sin because you spiritually were married to the last sexual partner you had for the Lord and in scripture it says that he is sanctified through you. I know he is not born again but he clearly wants to stay with you so please do this in prayer and read what the Bible suggests and together with the Holy Spirit you can make a decision in your heart. Praise God for your children who will be able to pray for him as well and if you make a choice don't let it be out of quilt but out of a knowing that you are free in Christ and that for the Lord you were called in this situation as you were (spiritually already married with this man). Now it is a choice of him and you if you want to stay together. There is no condemnation in this stage because you chose for him before you became a Christian. And you stayed pure after you became a Christian. Well done lovely sister. So know that you are free in this case and you gave your life and all that belongs to you to the Lord. So be assured that the freedom of choice and the help of the father is on your side. Whatever others say tell them about this scripture. You were not alone without a partner when you came to the Lord. Read it in different translations to make sure you understand it well. And use this to those who want to make you feel quilty. That the peace and freedom in Christ will make you strong and wise. God bless your sister in Christ Natascha.
 
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Depleted

Guest
#28
I'm not judging you, but honestly you need to get on birth control is you're just going to go around having kids with different dudes. If you really feel you're ready to settle down and even want more children, pray for the answer but don't let anything get in the way of love. If you want to raise your kids by taking them to church every Sunday that's up to you but if he agrees to adopt them maybe he'll want them to be atheists. You should really discuss this with him and leave your family out of it as at the end of the day it's the couples discision.
This advice from a nonbeliever pretending he believes now.
 
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Depleted

Guest
#29
Sorry but I did not go around having kids with different dads.. I've only had a couple of partners. And they where very long term and I was left with my youngest. I don't need to be on birth control now as I'm saved and not having sex as I'm not married.. I'm very offended at the way you wrote that. Sounds like you think my kids came from 1 night stands or something. They both came from love actually.. And he does believe in God.. He's just not saved..
Why be offended by a nonbeliever? He's merely trying to fit in. It's not as if he can give any Christian advice, so he thinks he fits in by being "tolerant."

That is the hazard of seeking advice online. You never know who is talking to you or why.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#31
The name of the guy who wrote that post -- planitsoon. Some folks sign off as if they're writing letters.

What MAN on here do you know that signs off "your SISTER in Christ"? :confused: Unless planitsoon isn't really a man. Or his wife replied here, in which case, SHE should have her own account, and not use his to reply.
 
Feb 2, 2016
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#33
Sorry but I did not go around having kids with different dads.. I've only had a couple of partners. And they where very long term and I was left with my youngest. I don't need to be on birth control now as I'm saved and not having sex as I'm not married.. I'm very offended at the way you wrote that. Sounds like you think my kids came from 1 night stands or something. They both came from love actually.. And he does believe in God.. He's just not saved..
I'm just looking out for you as most guys don't want to date a girl who has kids from other men, especially if they can't have sex with her either unless they marry her. The fact that you managed to find a guy who is willing to do both and he's not even a Christian is even more rare. I'd say he's a keeper.
 
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ramx2016

Guest
#34
Hi Stephanie, you really sound committed and on fire for the Lord! That is beyond awesome!!

My 2cents... unless you are INCREDIBLY strong in your faith... you know what needs to happen.

Life as it is, is crazy enough and ANY inch the devil can get he's going to take! I assure you of that.
That isn't to say you have to toss him to the side however, ideally (which is always easy to say right) - break off your romantic relationship and tell him you will be happy to stay friends (No... not FWB) - but until he commits fully to Jesus you simply can't be with him.

Tell him it would be too difficult having a force in your lives (kids always come first!) pulling the wrong way. And he may be the best person on earth! But believe me, satan WILL take advantage of this situation... and yes, you may survive.... no one can say for sure... but you are at the fork in the road right now! You must choose...

A
 
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coby

Guest
#35
I'm just looking out for you as most guys don't want to date a girl who has kids from other men, especially if they can't have sex with her either unless they marry her. The fact that you managed to find a guy who is willing to do both and he's not even a Christian is even more rare. I'd say he's a keeper.
That's true. I saw people who just were very clear and said they couldn't marry if he wasn't a christian and they were just friends and the guy got saved and they married, but I couldn't do it. I'd have to cut the contact off, just a little contact maybe and wait til he's really saved.
 
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Stephanie1984

Guest
#36
I have been praying and I'm leaving it in the Good Lords hands.. Also starting to go to a women's meeting in church tomorrow night so I can also get advice.. Thanks for replying.. ☺️
 
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kaylagrl

Guest
#37
Sorry but I did not go around having kids with different dads.. I've only had a couple of partners. And they where very long term and I was left with my youngest. I don't need to be on birth control now as I'm saved and not having sex as I'm not married.. I'm very offended at the way you wrote that. Sounds like you think my kids came from 1 night stands or something. They both came from love actually.. And he does believe in God.. He's just not saved..
I want to encourage you once again not to listen to certain posters in here. Who you've had a relationship with is no ones business. You are a Christian now and that is under the blood. God doesn't remember your past so don't let others keep bringing it up to make you feel bad. You have the call of God on your life. Ask Him what you should do in this situation and listen carefully. He will work in your life,but sometimes we have to let go of some things or people that aren't in His plan for us. God will lead you because you are open to His will. Don't get discouraged,follow Him. :)
 
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Stephanie1984

Guest
#38
Thank you.. I've left it in Gods hands.. 'Be still and know that I am God' goes through my head over situations that o worry about.. Your advice and opinions help me.. Negative things help no1
 
Nov 22, 2015
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#39
Amen...you hold onto that word from the Lord that He gave to you honey...'Be still and know that I am God' ...one of the cool things about our Lord is that He loves us dearly and He lives outside of time.

He has gone into your future and has come back to give you His word that you will need to get you where He sees you in your future. Hold onto that word like a dog on a bone. meditate on it...speak it to yourself...talk to your Lord about it...."how do I do this Lord?".." How do I be still?....How do I get to know you better? "...just be real with Him and He will be real to you.

He loves you fiercely and you are His absolute favorite. He just loves to just hang with you! All is well!....:)...

Thank you.. I've left it in Gods hands.. 'Be still and know that I am God' goes through my head over situations that o worry about.. Your advice and opinions help me.. Negative things help no1
 
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Nov 22, 2015
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#40
Here is a song from your Father and Lord for you....


[video=youtube;fZkIzwETysg]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZkIzwETysg[/video]



Thank you.. I've left it in Gods hands.. 'Be still and know that I am God' goes through my head over situations that o worry about.. Your advice and opinions help me.. Negative things help no1