Homosexual Brother, need HELP!

Ugly · Jan 26, 2016

Good thing Jesus distance himself from sinners.... oh... wait... no, he approached them and loved them, fed them, ministered to them, saved their lives from attackers. Not to mention getting betrayed by one of his closest friends, beat so badly he was barely recognizable as a human, while being hit, spit on and mocked. Then, after that had nails put through his wrists and feet, hung up in the air on two pieces of wood and left there to bleed out in serious pain. While watching his family and friends stare on in horror and pain. His property gambled for.
He did that for your brother. But you think you should disown your brother. I'm seeing a distinct difference in approach between your attitude and Christs attitude towards sinners.

Imagine if Christ treated you how you are thinking of your brother. Imagine if Christ viewed you as you view your brother. Not worth caring about because you are so focused on his actions you care nothing for the person or his heart.

Personally i find your attitude rather distasteful. I am not at all a supporter of homosexuality, but to treat him like some kind of vile leper who doesn't deserve love and respect speaks poorly of your wisdom and character.
If you treated everyone like that guess how many people would be in your life? None. Because EVERYONE sins. You included. If you think yourself somehow better because you are more aware of your sin, you have it backwards.
When a person does wrong, and doesn't know they are doing wrong, are they really doing bad? That's what the unsaved are.
But as Christians we KNOW right from wrong and we still do wrong. How much worse is a person that knows right and wrong and does wrong anyways, than a person who doesn't recognize they are wrong?
Truth is your sinful attitude towards him make your no better than he is.

BekahB5 · Jan 26, 2016

It is ok to acknowledge that wrong is wrong (even if you have a different version of wrong than another person) and still love a person.

My brother is also doing the gay thing and I personally don't believe that is how God intended us to be, but I don't believe it is my job to judge or condemn him; only to love him. My perspective is that it is a lie and I am sad that he is living in this lie, just as I am sad by my other family member's addictions, personality disorders, mental disorders, and other struggles. I choose to love them even though I won't condone "sins" and such. My brother knows I love him and feels safe to hear my beliefs about his lifestyle because of this.
Remember also that loving a person includes having healthy boundaries and if you speak the truth in love, then you can't go wrong. If you cannot speak the truth in love, then say nothing (preaching to the choir here).

Yeraza_Bats · Jan 27, 2016

Thanatos said:

Yup, the fact that it happens in the natural world is by no means a reason to call it "good". Animals fight and kill each other to keep their resources to themselves, as human beings we know thats wrong. I like to push the argument "are we not a little above the animals? Do we really need to make ourselves equal with them to justify what we do?" : p

Pilkington · Jan 28, 2016

You have received some amazing replies.

As others have encouraged you don't reject your brother, continue to love him. The only thing I would add is pray for him and keep praying for him.

ForthAngel · Jan 28, 2016

JML said:

I would second this. The suicide rate among the homosexual community is extremely high, especially when family rejects them. I have had two gay friends in the past, one of which who was abused by a family member for many years as a child. They knew I was a Christian. I treated them with respect as one of God's creatures made in his likeness and they did the same back. By showing them love and not hate, I was able to share scripture with them without severe retaliation and we were able to have civil debates about our views. Them not being family, I did not chill with them regularly as bad company corrupts good morals, but at times we'd get a group of friends together and go bowling or we'd all go to a restaurant and eat. This allowed us to have dialogues without pressure and both present our views without fear of hatred or negative retaliation.

Something like this should be handled with care and not hatred. Be wise as a serpent but gentle as a dove.

pwrnJC · Jan 28, 2016

What other sin is so openly accepted, praised and given 'coming out" parties, parades and world wide attention, changing laws and breaking down what GOD specifically did not endorse? Come on now, it's not 'cheating on taxes, or snatching and eating a grape from the produce department in Wal-Mart. That's it.....Homosexuality!!!!!!!! No wonder you are at loss, sister. The world embraces and gives a 'thumbs up" to your gay brother and a loud "BOO!" and labels you as "Homophobic" because of your relationship with JESUS CHRIST. Love your DNA brother, along with your 'neighbors" who are also gay, hate the sin, do not advocate it nor support their chosen lifestyle. Be kind and sociable (Did you stop listening to Elton John tunes when he came out of the closet?). But, at the same time, be as outspoken about your relationship with JESUS (when asked) as your brother is to his commitment to being gay. Funny, I've never known any gays who walk up to others, wag a finger in their face and say "You need to be gay", You think you are 'sick about this"? Imagine how JESUS CHRIST feels about losing another soul over to satan when someone starts saluting a rainbow flag!!!! This is happening every day in life, and more CHRISTIAN families are trying to cope with having a member announce that they are GAY. My family is mostly ministers and CHRIST followers, but I have a lesbian niece who is very proud of her lifestyle. The worst scenario that I can think of is openly gay folk giving GOD praise and glory for making them that way, attending regular church worship services, Only the Holy Spirit has the power to inwardly change an outward act.

pwrnJC · Jan 28, 2016

Ugly....
I was following along with you and trying to gain some understanding about your comments until your last sentence. Get off your high horse and come down from having your nose held up so high that if it rained, you would drown. A sister's attitude of shock and dismay towards her brother's blatant sexual actions and perverted chosen lifestyle (after all, he freely chose it) does not make her attitude instantly 'sinful". Who are you to tell her that she is "NO BETTER THAN HE IS". I am just so glad that nobody has to answer to your way of thinking. JESUS did not say "Now, now, dear fellow temple sellers. I know you are only trying to feed your families and give our economy a boost!" Jesus got very upset, made a whip and started snapping it, yelling, screaming, turning over tables of merchandise, spilling the coins and monies, setting sacrificial bound animals free. You would have been there, shaking your head and saying "JESUS, oh JESUS...your sinful attitude is making YOU no better than those profiteers. What good would you have been? How dare you ridicule a sister for having genuine concern for her DNA brother and his future eternal home. She cannot coax him into being hetersexual by being extra sweet and supportive any more than if she yelled and screamed at him. Her Brother has made his sick choice and she can vent here as long as she needs to. She needs a good listening ear and solid CHRISTIAN attitudes expressed towards her. After all, she is not the one having perverted sex and bragging about it. How dare you assume "you care nothing for the person or his heart".

MsKy · Jan 28, 2016

Jesus12 said:

First, I don't know what a "good Christian is" but I know who God is and He's good.

I have family members who don't know Christ and who are living sinful lives just like anyone else who doesn't know Christ. I don't cut them off because they are not believers.

Sinners sin, what do we expect them to do? Christians sin and we know better.

If you cut him off how can he come to you later when he's ready to come to Christ? I strongly believe that we can love sinners and not approve of their lifestyle.

Pray, then pray some more for God to help you love him and set boundaries that you are comfortable with.

The more that you pray for him the easier it will be to love him and have peace. This is when you trust that God is faithful to hear you.

All I know for sure is that the ground around the cross is level. We all come to the same cross. We all need the same forgiveness. He's in a different place than you are and that's ok. He's blessed that he has you and that you love him. If you don't love him and pray for him in his sin, who will?

sassylady · Jan 29, 2016

As JML said, talk to him and then after that, in the prayer closet. Often. God's power is needed and nagging or preaching constantly at somebody never changed them the proper way.

PennEd · Jan 29, 2016

Jesus12 said:

Jesus died for ALL our sins. I feel your pain. Most of us have dealt with this in some fashion. If your brother claims to be a Christian I might direct him to 1 Corinthians 5:1-8
[h=3]Immorality Defiles the Church[/h]5 It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and such sexual immorality as is not even named[a] among the Gentiles—that a man has his father’s wife! 2 And you are puffed up, and have not rather mourned, that he who has done this deed might be taken away from among you. 3 For I indeed, as absent in body but present in spirit, have already judged (as though I were present) him who has so done this deed. 4 In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, when you are gathered together, along with my spirit, with the power of our Lord Jesus Christ, 5 deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.[b]
6 Your glorying is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump?7 Therefore purge out the old leaven, that you may be a new lump, since you truly are unleavened. For indeed Christ, our Passover, was sacrificed for us.[c] 8 Therefore let us keep the feast, not with old leaven, nor with the leaven of malice and wickedness, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth.

May God bless and watch over you. In Jesus name.

Thanatos · Jan 29, 2016

Jesus12 said:

You just disagree with them. If they sincerely have a differing interpretation than you then you have to ask yourself a question.

"Do I know with 100% certainty that my interpretation (that the bible blasts homosexuality) is correct?" If so, then I wouldn't continue to engage in the discussion as more than likely the other person 100% feels they are correct. If both of you are open to what the other has to say, discuss with the intention and hope of the conversation being fruitful, not to "prove" you're right or they are wrong. The Spirit will do that for you.

Dan58 · Jan 29, 2016

Jesus12 said:

A good Christian wouldn't do anything about it, mainly because there's nothing you can do about it. If you choose not to associate with sinners, your going to spend a lot of time alone. Remember that Jesus ate with sinners, and also said; "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do". Certainly don't give him a stamp of approval, but Christians aren't in the condemning business either. He's still your sexually confused brother, but don't make his sin your problem, let it go and sleep tight... jmo

Violet24 · Jan 30, 2016

Jesus12, Aprox: 28 years ago, My brother told me he was gay, which devastated me completely as we were very close & still are today. I felt a lot of the emotions that you have expressed in your post. Things are still the same, but with many prayers over the years, I know that Jesus has never stopped loving my brother & my family has never stopped loving him. Prayer brings hope & peace. I know that the Lord has been ministering to my brother through many people, so its in the Lords hands to bring Salvation & healing to him. Just keep loving your brother!! but stand firm in the "Foundational Truths of the Word of God", but don't attack, just love as Jesus loves...

pwrnJC · Jan 30, 2016

Thanatos....put it this way: There are NO practicing homosexuals in heaven, now or never! Yes, can a FORMER homosexual find Jesus, truely repent and change their lifestyle? AMEN, YES !!!! Will there be victims that were seduced or molested by homosexuals in heaven? YES !!!! (Myself included.when a young teen). Will there be a heavenly home to those who think GOD made them a homosexual and continue to indulge in their chosen lifestyle? No, not a heavenly home. You cannot salute a rainbow flag and live under a blood washed banner of JESUS CHRIST simultaneously. Are you actually serious by saying "I wouldn't continue to engage in the discussion as more than likely the other person 100% feels they are correct".? If you apply that to all people at all times in all of their failures, there would be NO Christian witnessing shared to any person who needs to hear what JESUS stands for. Wow..how liberal can one get?

Grace777x70 · Jan 30, 2016

Here is a testimony of how Jesus changed someone living a gay lifestyle...it was Jesus Himself that did it.....His love and grace revealed to them..changed their whole life even when it looked liked that nothing could be changed..Jesus is awesome and mighty to save all of us no matter what situation we find ourselves in.

[video=youtube;lsI4hhm_J2A]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsI4hhm_J2A[/video]

Depleted · Jan 30, 2016

Jesus12 said:

How about stop assuming you can't associate with him because of his sin? Look at each member of your family and figure out what their sin area is. Are you losing sleep and not associating with them because of that? Look at yourself. What's your sin area? Should everyone avoid you for that one? Are you losing sleep?

People are, therefore we sin. God has saved some. Thank you, Lord, because we cannot.

Idea: Stop making that a worse sin. All sin is terrible. Stop basing it on how "good Christians" perceive it, and remember how God perceives us. That "Love one another" thingy is bigger than the perceptions of the Christian community.

And then get back to loving your brother and praying for him. If he'll let you talk to him about God, tell what God has done for us, not what God hates about him.

Depleted · Jan 30, 2016

Jesus12 said:

I'd say, "Yes. And Puff the Magic Dragon is real, because I say that too."

BUT I can say that because anyone who knows me knows I'm sarcastic like that.

So, what I'd do isn't what you should do. You know what you're thinking about that though. If you can't come up with a response at the moment, keep thinking until you can. He's your brother. You'll see him again, so you can respond later.

Depleted · Jan 30, 2016

pwrnJC said:

Arrogance.

Thanatos · Jan 30, 2016

pwrnJC said:

Thanatos....put it this way: There are NO practicing homosexuals in heaven, now or never! Yes, can a FORMER homosexual find Jesus, truely repent and change their lifestyle? AMEN, YES !!!! Will there be victims that were seduced or molested by homosexuals in heaven? YES !!!! (Myself included.when a young teen). Will there be a heavenly home to those who think GOD made them a homosexual and continue to indulge in their chosen lifestyle? No, not a heavenly home. You cannot salute a rainbow flag and live under a blood washed banner of JESUS CHRIST simultaneously. Are you actually serious by saying "I wouldn't continue to engage in the discussion as more than likely the other person 100% feels they are correct".? If you apply that to all people at all times in all of their failures, there would be NO Christian witnessing shared to any person who needs to hear what JESUS stands for. Wow..how liberal can one get?

I think you missed the context I said that... It was in reference to engaging in a fruitful discussion about it, not an argument. The Spirit does the convicting, not the arguer.

hornetguy · Feb 1, 2016

What to do? Love him. I'm sure he knows how you feel about it, and what God says about it. Jesus didn't condemn the woman at the well, who had been married 5 times, and was currently shacked up with another guy. He loved her, and talked to her, and told her to go on with her life and stop sinning. Do you think he expected that she would instantly stop, and never sin again? Of course not... no one can do that. He was saying do your best to live "right".... He was within the law to call a crowd and stone her, but instead, he loved her, and tried to gently correct her. Your brother needs your love. God will work on his heart.

Homosexual Brother, need HELP!

Ugly

Guest

Member

Senior Member

Senior Member

Senior Member

Banned

Banned

MsKy

Guest

sassylady

Guest

Senior Member

Banned

Senior Member

Senior Member

Banned

Banned

Depleted

Guest

Depleted

Guest

Depleted

Guest

Banned

Senior Member