Need advice

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Nice_Lady

Senior Member
#1
May 13, 2014
148
2
18
#1
Hello. I would like to hear ur opinion about my problem. I asked one man from the church to help me with my 4 year old son as i saw my son needs a man in his life and as it is - i m single. He agreed to meet us and he even like us. We spent such a nice time together and our meetings lasted up to 6 hours at a time.. i started to love him deeply and to feel as if we were married (as we spent most of the time at home) and my son attached to him so much that he felt him as dad. One day he confessed he has girlfriend and she lives in other city but they know each other from before. And they meet every week now. So me and my son stopped meeting him although we talk with him in the church.
Is it right me to want him and pray he to come back to us? I guess ur answer will be NO but doesnt the Bible teach us to sacrify our life for our brothers and sisters, especially unprotected women and children (that is widows and fatherless)
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#2
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#2
You're setting yourself up for a big let-down if you think this guy will leave his girlfriend for you and your kid.. You have no relationship with this guy, other than friendship, and that's ALL it can be. He's taken, you need to stop pursuing him. He's not going to "come back to you". He was never yours to begin with. The bible says that there is no greater thing than to die for one another. It does NOT say anything about a person sacrificing one relationship to enter into another with someone else. So yes, it's wrong of you to pray that he comes back to you, because he never was with you anyway. Leave him alone, and move on. If you persist in pursuing him, it WILL end badly for ALL of you. Don't do that to him or yourself or your kid. It's not fair to any of you to pursue a guy who is already obviously taken by another woman.

This guy is NOT your son's dad, and you need to make that clear to your son. He should NOT be calling this guy "daddy". End this thing now before it takes more of an emotional toll on your son. Plenty of women are single, or widowed, and raise kids just fine. If it's God's will, HE will send you someone who WON'T be in a relationship with somebody else. Just wait for God's timing, not your own.

I don't know if you have slept with this guy or not, but if you are then I hope you're using protection. If not, then get yourself checked for any STD's. He has a girlfriend so obviously he's having sex with her also. You're just the other woman in this lurid triangle. You and your son deserve alot better. Leave this guy alone so he can be happy with his girlfriend.
 
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Depleted

Guest
#3
#3
Nice_Lady said:
Hello. I would like to hear ur opinion about my problem. I asked one man from the church to help me with my 4 year old son as i saw my son needs a man in his life and as it is - i m single. He agreed to meet us and he even like us. We spent such a nice time together and our meetings lasted up to 6 hours at a time.. i started to love him deeply and to feel as if we were married (as we spent most of the time at home) and my son attached to him so much that he felt him as dad. One day he confessed he has girlfriend and she lives in other city but they know each other from before. And they meet every week now. So me and my son stopped meeting him although we talk with him in the church.
Is it right me to want him and pray he to come back to us? I guess ur answer will be NO but doesnt the Bible teach us to sacrify our life for our brothers and sisters, especially unprotected women and children (that is widows and fatherless)
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Children need a father-figure in their lives. You just told one of many stories why he shouldn't be a random man you found to serve that purpose.

Be glad that's all that happened. Much worse could have happened. If you keep your form of logic, it will.
 
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Nice_Lady

Senior Member
#4
May 13, 2014
148
2
18
#4
Depleted, i couldnt understand what u mean by " If you keep your form of logic, it will." Excuse my english.
 
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Depleted

Guest
#5
#5
Nice_Lady said:
Depleted, i couldnt understand what u mean by " If you keep your form of logic, it will." Excuse my english.
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You think God owes you because you asked some random guy to help you out. Horrible logic. God doesn't owe you, the guy is no good for you or your son, and God already did protect you. At least the guy wasn't a pedofile, married, or a rapist. You logic is bad. Our duty is to serve God, not wait for God to serve us as we'd like.
 
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shebamo

Guest
#6
#6
You asked the man to become a roll model to your son. He started to do that and you started having feelings for him as a potential mate. You blurred the lines. Man and women are suppose to take care of the widows and fatherless. Help them in need and fellowship. You read something into his 6 hour stays that was not there. Good for him letting you know he is spoken for and not leading you on. Don't confuse your sons need for a role model with your need for a man. Sounds harsh but I'm just saying. And we sacrifice our life for Christ not people. We take care of those who are hungry, and naked, and without shelter and food. We don't have to marry them. This applies to male and females. Because you got attracted to him I would say no to praying that he comes back. Yes to pray for a man of God to come into your sons life ( not your life ). You praying for a mate is different. ( Being single is ok, just financially harder ).
 
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