Family life in ruins

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A

Ariel82

Guest
#21
#21
Wow that's harsh.

I don't know if this will help or not but I can tell you what my husband does whenever I am feeling lazy and just want to watch tv....


We snuggle in the coach and watch it together.

Some days though he doesn't want to be lazy and he drags me on hikes, bike rides, campouts, etc.

I have fun once we get moving, but if my husband told me I was a lazy bum and to quit watching tv,,..I would get depressed and probably not change.

Instead he tells me he loves me and wants us to do things together. He still goes out and does them even if I choose not to go, but it is understood the request is there and it's my choice. Do I want to be alone or do I want to do something with the person I love?

I would give your daughter the same option.

Find fun things you can do as a family and plan outings and invite them to go. Or ask them for ideas to build the love, trust and communication within the family. Maybe cook together? Or play games or watch a movie...she likes tv so maybe go out together for dinner and a movie...open the doors and make it a date. Make them feel special and remind them you love them.

They might still be mean and hateful but be constant. Don't snap back. They are testing to see if you have changed to be like Christ or if you can be enticed to act like the world and become bitter and vengeful.
 
J

jbk1203

Guest
#22
#22
I'm so sorry to hear about your situation; I think it's awful that you should be treated this way by your own family, just because of your beliefs. Continue to pray, as I will for you, and hope that God will reach into their hearts. Also, continue to go to church and follow God, because then there is hope that through you, they will see God for themselves.

There is always hope, so don't give up.
 
B

Brian30024

Guest
#23
#23
Ariel82 said:
Wow that's harsh.

I don't know if this will help or not but I can tell you what my husband does whenever I am feeling lazy and just want to watch tv....


We snuggle in the coach and watch it together.

Some days though he doesn't want to be lazy and he drags me on hikes, bike rides, campouts, etc.

I have fun once we get moving, but if my husband told me I was a lazy bum and to quit watching tv,,..I would get depressed and probably not change.

Instead he tells me he loves me and wants us to do things together. He still goes out and does them even if I choose not to go, but it is understood the request is there and it's my choice. Do I want to be alone or do I want to do something with the person I love?

I would give your daughter the same option.

Find fun things you can do as a family and plan outings and invite them to go. Or ask them for ideas to build the love, trust and communication within the family. Maybe cook together? Or play games or watch a movie...she likes tv so maybe go out together for dinner and a movie...open the doors and make it a date. Make them feel special and remind them you love them.

They might still be mean and hateful but be constant. Don't snap back. They are testing to see if you have changed to be like Christ or if you can be enticed to act like the world and become bitter and vengeful.
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I hope your not implying that I called my wife lazy or to stop watching TV. I don't make her cook either.
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#24
#24
SpiritualCleansing said:
In the bible, they would execute disrespectful and disobedient children. We live in a society that is weak and allows evil to permeate.

Your wife seems to not want to honor you, her husband. I'm sorry you have to deal with the two of them. When someone has cancer that is spreading, it's better to eradicate it as quickly as possible.
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Wow,aren't you just a bowl of cherries? You're big on executing people huh? I don't think I believe that American flag on your profile. Execution seems to be the end all be all solution. We don't yet know what is going on in the relationship. How about asking a few questions? Your advice is terrible,maybe you should try to keep it to yourself a little more.
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#26
#26
Brian30024 said:
Thanks for the reply. Sanctification happen fast in me, so I guess I have changed. I also tried to witness to my Daughter, but since have stopped. Now, I just pray for her. My wife was made to go to Church and now opposes anything Christian with great hate.
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Are you close enough to your pastor and wife to talk to them? They may have some ideas and good counsel that could be useful. The best thing you can do is pray and then live the life before them. If they see a big change in you they will take notice. Its not going to be an easy thing to deal with but the Bible talks about taking up our cross to follow Him. Surround yourself with Christian friends for support. If your church has a prayer chain ask them to put your family on it. It may not happen overnight but this is where your test of faith comes in. Right now,your family is your mission field. You cannot give up. Go to prayer meeting,surround yourself with support in prayer. God will move on your behalf, all you need is a mustard seed of faith.
 
A

Ariel82

Guest
#27
#27
Not at all, just wondering what happened to the love.
 
B

Brian30024

Guest
#28
#28
kaylagrl said:
Wow,aren't you just a bowl of cherries? You're big on executing people huh? I don't think I believe that American flag on your profile. Execution seems to be the end all be all solution. We don't yet know what is going on in the relationship. How about asking a few questions? Your advice is terrible,maybe you should try to keep it to yourself a little more.
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This was somebody applying to my post. I didn't write this.
 
A

Ariel82

Guest
#29
#29
Brian30024 said:
. Very little family outings and dinners due to this lazy behavior and TV addition.
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You called the behavior lazy and even if you never say it. She can probably sense your disapproval.

If you want family sinners then push for them, even if is just you and your daughter, she will thank you for spending time with her one day.

My point is be proactive in saving your family and showing them your love.

Plan outings, make an effort for family dinners.
 
A

Ariel82

Guest
#30
#30
Dinners not sinners....aargh
 
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Brian30024

Guest
#31
#31
Ariel82 said:
Not at all, just wondering what happened to the love.
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Let your husband yell at you and treat you like a crazy person for a year. Let him turn your child against you. Let him try to turn family against you. Then let me ask where is the Love.
 
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Brian30024

Guest
#32
#32
Ariel82 said:
You called the behavior lazy and even if you never say it. She can probably sense your disapproval.

If you want family sinners then push for them, even if is just you and your daughter, she will thank you for spending time with her one day.

My point is be proactive in saving your family and showing them your love.

Plan outings, make an effort for family dinners.
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Sounds great. I've tried this. But this Christmas they went out to eat without me. They will not do anything with me and hardly talk to me. They usually yell at me for talking to them. I've always been nice and family oriented.
 
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Brian30024

Guest
#33
#33
kaylagrl said:
Are you close enough to your pastor and wife to talk to them? They may have some ideas and good counsel that could be useful. The best thing you can do is pray and then live the life before them. If they see a big change in you they will take notice. Its not going to be an easy thing to deal with but the Bible talks about taking up our cross to follow Him. Surround yourself with Christian friends for support. If your church has a prayer chain ask them to put your family on it. It may not happen overnight but this is where your test of faith comes in. Right now,your family is your mission field. You cannot give up. Go to prayer meeting,surround yourself with support in prayer. God will move on your behalf, all you need is a mustard seed of faith.
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I've talked to my Pastor. I've talked to my wife. We also went to counseling.
 
B

Brian30024

Guest
#35
#35
kaylagrl said:
Yes,I know,I was responding to him :)
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Thanks for all your prayers everyone. Last night and today(Saturday) was the first time in months that my Daughter and wife have talked to me as a human. I'm so happy and cry as I write this.
 
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Ultimatum77

Guest
#36
#36
coby said:
The devil doesn't like it. My mom my brother and I got saved and my dad got furious. He left to an old girlfriend. God told my mom to watch out with him and not share too much. She was so enthousiastic but he couldn't handle it. He left, she fasted and prayed for 3 days and he came back. It gave problems but he wanted to stay and gradually it got better. Now they have a great marriage.
I was married to an atheist who was on drugs. He almost choked me, he didn't want to convert, hated my worship music and everything. It was a clash between Light and darkness. I prayed, had a whole group of pastors praying for him but he left. If the unbeliever leaves let him go. Still pray for him but if I want to I may remarry and I asked God if I had to go back to him. He said no.
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I would second this....your life is out of the enemy's hands and he is mad as hell (literally) and trying to discourage your walk with God. I would fast and pray for your family and especially plead the blood of Jesus over their mind, soul, will, and body. By doing this your blocking satan from using/entering these areas of your loved ones to discourage you/vex your soul. It is a spirit of opposition that is against you and using your family. Be strong brother and intensify your relationship with God with more reading (esp psalms) and praying. Using a medical analogy.. Satan is like an infection, the more you keep dosing him with the word of God (antibiotics) the weaker he gets till he can't hang around anymore and eventually quits.....he may come back but if you have a solid foundation and the armor of God (daily devotion to God) he may attack but God will help you through it...
 
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Brian30024

Guest
#37
#37
Ultimatum77 said:
I would second this....your life is out of the enemy's hands and he is mad as hell (literally) and trying to discourage your walk with God. I would fast and pray for your family and especially plead the blood of Jesus over their mind, soul, will, and body. By doing this your blocking satan from using/entering these areas of your loved ones to discourage you/vex your soul. It is a spirit of opposition that is against you and using your family. Be strong brother and intensify your relationship with God with more reading (esp psalms) and praying. Using a medical analogy.. Satan is like an infection, the more you keep dosing him with the word of God (antibiotics) the weaker he gets till he can't hang around anymore and eventually quits.....he may come back but if you have a solid foundation and the armor of God (daily devotion to God) he may attack but God will help you through it...
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I agree. The devil is a very evil entity who is about to pay the cost forever for his wicked deeds. I study the word of God daily and my faith is unshaken even in the greatest trials. I planted my roots in a solid foundation on Gods word.
 
S

Sanfam

Guest
#38
#38
Your daughter is at an age that she is emotional, rebellious (if dating other boys), and influenceable. You really have to look to your wife. Save wife, save daughter. It can be the other way but at 16 or so, its easier for her to be influenced towards sin and rebellion than godly principles.

As far as remarriage, you have been taught wrong. Just because an unbeliever leaves the marriage, it does not mean you are free to remarry. 1 Cor. 7:15 states "not under bondage" the bondage word in Greek is referring to biblical principles and laws preventing you from doing something. Paul was stating that the believer is not in bondage to the Law if the unbeliever leaves you. Out of mercy you are to let them go. For remarriage men are to refer to 1 Cor. 7:26-28. That says when "loosed" you can remarry. It is referring to biblical principles and laws of remarriage seen in the Old Testament and stated by Jesus.


She would have to commit sexual immorality after the divorce or live with another man or marry someone else before you would be loosed from your wife biblically. But, even if she is unfaithful after the divorce it would be better for you to wait before she marries again or moves in with another man before you consider marrying anyone else. She may repent and want back to the marriage.

I wish you well.
 
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