When to forgive.

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santuzza

Senior Member
Feb 12, 2013
1,609
38
48
#21
Bravo, Daniellelynn!

Stick to your guns. As Blain said, that fact that she "cursed you out" is all the affirmation you need.
 
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BeyondET

Guest
#22
I would add this not about Forgive but about doing what you feel is right in your heart even Jesus gives a example on doing what your heart feels

Luke 2:48-50
48When they saw Him, they were astonished; and His mother said to Him, "Son, why have You treated us this way? Behold, Your father and I have been anxiously looking for You." 49And He said to them, "Why is it that you were looking for Me? Did you not know that I had to be in My Father's house?" 50But they did not understand the statement which He had made to them.…
 
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NewWine

Guest
#23
Danielle, I am assuming, since you said they "tried" to break up your marriage, that you're married...correct? My single female cousin asked to move in with us for a while, and my husband said absolutely not! I am not home a LOT due to going back and forth between Indiana(to take care of my dad) and South Carolina where we live. He said PLEASE don't put him into a position of her lying about him, making a pass at him (whether she's attracted to him or not) or whatever else might happen while I was gone. If she will lie about and to you about things, imagine what she will say or do to him.....? If she will call the authorities on you, while lying, what will she tell police he did to her when you're not there?
I am not trying to tell you to in no way allow her to stay, but this is DEFINITELY something to consider when praying.
 
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Daniellelynn

Guest
#24
Very very true. My sister lied to mutual friends stating that I called CPS on her. To gain sympathy from me ,one time she said that a guy tried to snatch my one year old niece ,at the time, out of her arms at Wal-Mart. I called the police and they didn't believe her. She made up the whole thing as an excuse for being gone way too long while we baby sat the other children. A year and a half ago, after I put them out again, she and my mom had a detective come to my home because they accused me of elder abuse! He didn't believe them either, thank God. I'm almost ready to cut off all communication from them,the only thing stopping me so far is that I am close to my nieces and nephews.
 
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Depleted

Guest
#25
The decision to let my sister move in is really hard only because she's 22 with 4 kids between the ages of 6 and 7 months old. I've called 6 shelters and transitional housing assistance programs and they're all full. I need to heat from God. I can't find the scripture and I've prayed for guidance. She needs an answer today. Anymore suggestions?
Take the kids, but not your sister?
 
Jan 31, 2016
161
7
0
#26
From the way you describe their behavior, not only do I agree with all the above advice, I would also add that I think you should cut off communication with them. Forgive them -- yes. But please do not allow them to ruin your life.

Look at it this way: Each time you "rescue" them, you deny them the opportunity to discover their own utter depravity.
I agree with you! Sometimes we can be enablers. We get in the way of what God will do when they hit rock bottom. Sometimes tough love is the only option especially when the ones we help dont ever make a change in their lives. Its just a viscous cycle of them making poor decisions and the enabler helping them back up again. Pray about it. God knows best. Forgive them but do not continue to be part of the problem. Continue to pray for them as well. Dismiss your life from toxic people and you will be a much happier person. Blessings
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,313
16,301
113
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Tennessee
#27
I am extremely grateful for this site. I belong to a church of over 3,000 members and I have to make an appointment just to speak to a spiritual advisor so I'm extremely grateful for everyone's advice. Here's an update: I called my family and said " I've been praying, seeking counsel, reading my Bible, and thinking about what to do all day. Unfortunately,after what has transpired over these past few years I can not allow you to move here but I will help you in every other way possible. I've made calls and connections and I can help you find a place Asap. She cursed me out and hung up in my face. My mom tried to call me and I refused to answer. I AM TIRED. Thank you all so so much for the guidance I needed and received today. Glory be to God. All opinions welcomed.
You did the right thing. Glory be to God.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,313
16,301
113
69
Tennessee
#28
I am extremely grateful for this site. I belong to a church of over 3,000 members and I have to make an appointment just to speak to a spiritual advisor so I'm extremely grateful for everyone's advice. Here's an update: I called my family and said " I've been praying, seeking counsel, reading my Bible, and thinking about what to do all day. Unfortunately,after what has transpired over these past few years I can not allow you to move here but I will help you in every other way possible. I've made calls and connections and I can help you find a place Asap. She cursed me out and hung up in my face. My mom tried to call me and I refused to answer. I AM TIRED. Thank you all so so much for the guidance I needed and received today. Glory be to God. All opinions welcomed.
A couple of years ago in Maine I went through the same thing. At one point I had my late wife's son, 32 years old - no job, my sister-in-law ex-husband, my late wife's ex-husband and her brother living with me in a small 2 bedroom apartment. No one had a job except the sister-in-laws ex-husband. He paid a small stipend but usually he was late with that or didn't pay anything.

I was working 50 hours a week, my car had broken down so I had to walk everywhere (work, store, laundry, etc). No one could even bother to take the trash out or sweep the floor. I would come home every night and everyone would either be drunk or high with loud music blaring, garbage on the floor and papers scattered everywhere.

Eventually, I got evicted because of their foolishness. No one even bothered to say they were sorry. My late wife eventually died so I left all of those parasites behind and moved back to Florida. I eventually remarried and now living in a clean spacious townhome with my loving wife.

I enjoy the peace and quiet. Never again. Please don't make the same mistake that I did. It's not worth it and it certainly is not from God. Trust in God that He will look out for your mom, sister, kids. As for yourself, enjoy what you can out of life. God Bless You.
 
Last edited:
Feb 28, 2016
11,311
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#29
thank you for such a beautiful witness, Tourist,

the scriptures tell us often that we will suffer in many different ways for Christ -
we may not understand the whys or whens or how longs, that come into our lives,
but as you have learned, they will come...it would appear that you have passed a very
worth-wile test, and the proof is in what your precious life is right now....
:):).
 
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Daniellelynn

Guest
#30
Glory be to God, I'm very happy for you and thank you for your advive and your story.