Hello new to this calling and........

[Tamerillo]

Hello!
My hubby 2 years ago became an ordained minister and is self studying to follow his calling to start his ministry. I support his calling as I also am called to serve people (have always helped people from childhood, and children and seniors especially). I was wondering how everyone pays their bills and feeds their family while building a ministry from scratch? My husband is struggling saying "forget it I will just work and pay the bills and forget everything". This bothers me and I pray for him because I know this is important. He doesn't want me to work so I am not sure how we are to keep a household of 6 going. How has everyone else done it?

 

[blue_ladybug]

The bible says God is where all our help comes from. Trust him for all your needs and he'll never let you go without what you absolutely need. Also, you don't need to make more than one duplicate thread in multiple forums. The mods don't like it.

 

[NewWine]

I am with lady blue in the God provides. God does this through many means, not simply financially, but emotionally, physically, completely. Our job is to trust in this.
I can't advise him on how to proceed, because I am not him mostly, but also because I am not called to preach, I am not a man, so I am not a husband.
I don't get him not "wanting you to work", but that aside...... I assume he means he doesn't want you leaving the house to gain employment,.....not working outside the house doesn't have to mean not providing an income of sorts. You can babysit, garden and sell produce, write online blogs, do business people's laundry....get prayerfully creative, if helping him provide is important to you both.
The best thing I do as a wife for my husband is pray for him: Not just for guidance, but for security, safety, joy and peace in all his decisions. And I thank God for him daily. He's the greatest thing I've ever been given by God.
Peace!!

 

[santuzza]

Most people keep their "day job" when they try to start a ministry. What kind of ministry is your hubby trying to start? Are there other Christians involved at this point?

 

[CatHerder]

Hello!
My hubby 2 years ago became an ordained minister and is self studying to follow his calling to start his ministry. I support his calling as I also am called to serve people (have always helped people from childhood, and children and seniors especially). I was wondering how everyone pays their bills and feeds their family while building a ministry from scratch? My husband is struggling saying "forget it I will just work and pay the bills and forget everything". This bothers me and I pray for him because I know this is important. He doesn't want me to work so I am not sure how we are to keep a household of 6 going. How has everyone else done it?

If this is really a calling, then God will make it possible. That is not to say that God will make it possible in the way that your husband or you envision, necessarily...

Some ordained ministers have part time or full time jobs in addition to their ministry. Some of their wives also work.

Is you not working part of the ministry plan or your husband's preference? If he is more focused on this detail than the calling and is willing to "just work and pay the bills and forget everything," then I call into question his maturity or whether he is called at all (I withdraw this if your not working is somehow tantamount to the ministry's success in a way that you haven't explained).

This sounds harsh, but it seems like he is hung up on the men providing for the family thing. Marriages have seasons - for this season it may be appropriate for you to be making a little bit of income for the family unit while he is trying to get this ministry off the ground. And if, as I am assuming by his stated preferences, you are doing the traditional housewife role, YOU are providing for the family just as much as he is. We tend to think about providing in terms of money, but what you do with the money that he earns (after mortgage/rent and other payments) is the real providing. If you get the kids clothing, you are providing. If you get them their school supplies, you are providing. In fact, the family dog even thinks of you as the MAIN provider since you are probably the one feeding it. The pet also respects you as the "great huntress" when you pull the red meat from the grocery bag. Yes, they know who the provider is.

I would urge you both to work more as a team to get the ministry going. And realize that the "traditional" roles of husband and wife, father and mother, often overlap. As mentioned above, moms DO provide, and it is good for dads to be nurturing and read bedtime stories and kiss boo-boos, push the swing and do a lot of nurturing stuff with their kids. The roles overlap. In your case, they may have to overlap a bit more, maybe even more than your husband (or you) are comfortable with for a season, but it's okay to do things a bit differently. It may even be healthier.

 

[hoss2576]

I actually know someone going through something similar. He was our church youth pastor, but felt called to start a new church plant in a neighboring city. He and his wife are dealing with similar issues dealing with finances, and I believe they have 6 young children. I would recommend you encourage him to talk to your pastor or whoever he considers his mentor. On a practical level, there are a lot of job opportunities that allow him to work a flexible schedule so he can address ministry issues as they arise. The pastor I know started his own social media/marketing business to have an income.

The other thing is to make sure that you share your concerns about all of this with him if you haven't. You may think he "knows" that you are concerned, but if you don't have an honest conversation about your concerns, he may not realize it. Share not just your financial concerns, but yes your concern for where he is heartwise.

 

[Tamerillo]

1 1/2 years ago I was the higher wage earner in the home. We are foster parents and have 4 children with high needs that took hospital stays, therapies, and other things that go with foster care. One is adopted and awaiting on the other 3. We decided together that I would become a "stay at home mom". It was and is hard on me as I have always worked outside the home at least 40 hours a week. I was going to return to part time work this past Jan. As we thought the kids were settled and in routines and healthy when the baby started having seizures (everyone thought we were crazy because they didn't see them) when they did the EGG he was having 150 an hour between myliclonic and Atonic seizures. We are currently working on getting medicine levels to control them. So I am in a holding pattern again. Then we are also going to home school the children as well. To answer your question yes he thinks he needs to be the sole provider, but he struggles having to work in places like a factory and general laborer. He will not work retail because they make you work holidays and Sundays. He really doesn't have a mentor as he got ordained online instead of going to seminary. I think he is ashamed of that and will not lean on our pastor of the very small church we attend. We have discussed my concerns and that where the whole "I will just work to pay bills" came in. He shuts down. I was trying to talk to him things come in stages, and not instantly, and that we also need him as a father and a husband to complete our family. We talked about starting to gather things like hymnals, bibles, stuff that we can help keep the spirit alive until God says it's time. We are planning a move next year to another state and will be starting our life and ministry there.

 

[CatHerder]

ah...I wish you had shared this before.

I can better understand his desire for you to be there for them. Fostering special needs children can be a ministry in and of itself!

Now, if God did indeed call your husband, it shouldn't matter where he got ordained. He does not call the qualified. He qualifies the called.