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Here are a few links offering immediate counseling:
24-Hour Crisis Hotline - The Samaritans
Lifeline
Telephone, Hotlines and Help lines | Psych Central
Yes, you need professional help. You should talk to a pastor or/and a psychologist as soon as possible. God is in there with you in this difficult situation. Let Him to set you free for joy and let Him to use tools aka pastors/psyhologist for that. I am sure He would like to show His love to you. Trust Him and put every burden to Him 
Your Heavenly Father loves you more than you could ever love even your baby. He doesn't want to see His beautiful daughter depressed. Talk to Him. It may be that He directs you to a Dr. and so the chemicals in your brain get back in balance with medication. I don't know. I only KNOW He loves you so much.
Dear Father, please let this woman feel Your Presence TODAY. Let her know that it is going to be ok and that she can trust in You. In Jesus Name I pray.
A
I'm praying for you right now, dear Sister. I'm so sorry you're suffering such grief and I understand about caring for family members who are ill. It can be extremely overwhelming and very heartbreaking. We members on this site can offer you fellowship and encouragement. But I genuinely recommend you talk to professional counselors who can offer you workable options and help that will give you more quality of life and peace of mind.
God's grace to you, my friend.
God's grace to you, my friend.
I am praying for you.
I wish I could offer some type of intelligent constructive advice, but this is not my field, and I have never been depressed for any real length of time nor like you describe.
God loves you.
Your not alone.
I/we (on this site) love you and care that you come to better place.
God knows your pain, and sees your sacrifice.
Many people here are already praying for you in earnest and with fervency.
God bless you.
I wish I could offer some type of intelligent constructive advice, but this is not my field, and I have never been depressed for any real length of time nor like you describe.
God loves you.
Your not alone.
I/we (on this site) love you and care that you come to better place.
God knows your pain, and sees your sacrifice.
Many people here are already praying for you in earnest and with fervency.
God bless you.
P
oh, dear Lord Jesus! i'm so, so sorry to hear about your little boy.
listen, if you can, as soon as you can, grab some of the joy your son brings you and use it to reach out for help near you.
if you're already at numb (and it's understandable!!), you need someone who can physically come along side you to help.
i know you love your child, and to continue doing what you do you also have to care for yourself.
please PM me if you need to, and please know i will be in earnest prayer. ♥
-ellie
listen, if you can, as soon as you can, grab some of the joy your son brings you and use it to reach out for help near you.
if you're already at numb (and it's understandable!!), you need someone who can physically come along side you to help.
i know you love your child, and to continue doing what you do you also have to care for yourself.
please PM me if you need to, and please know i will be in earnest prayer. ♥
-ellie
Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household,
– Ephesians 2:19 (NIV)
How differently would you live if you had been born into a family of wealth and had access to the riches of the world? How would it affect your peace and joy, your generosity and willingness to take risks? The truth according to this passage is, that as Christians, we are now part of the household of God–God is our Father! Through Jesus we have been brought into the forever-family of God and now have all the privileges that come with it. His resources are now our resources. His strength is our strength. We are part of God’s family with brothers and sisters all over the world! Whatever your need or fear or struggle you can bring it to your loving Father.
D
Your baby is on a vent now. Will that always be so? Hubby was on a vent for two months and then on a trach for one month. He couldn't eat because of the vent, and then the trach. He's been off the vent and trach since mid February. He still can't eat. I get the depression. This is a depression that's supposed to be there, although you know you have to give your baby as much joy as you can, so he/she doesn't start life thinking there is no joy.
But will your baby stay on a vent? Assuming not, that is your goal -- to comfort... I was going to say to comfort until off the vent, but you're Mom, so your life from here on out is to love your baby, and comfort is part of that, so no time off. Nor will you ever want time off from that one.
I can tell you what I did/do, but I suspect you already know this. I cry, seek God, ask the continual "why" knowing he won't give me an answer that works for me, pray, read the Bible, ask others to pray for hubby and me, and then muster up all I can muster to go see him each day in good spirits. It works most of the time. Without God holding me up, I suspect it would fail most of the time.
But there will be more life after this. What it will look like, I don't know. We just have to make it through today.
I can give you some good news -- because your baby still is a baby, she doesn't have to go through what most people on vents go through. When she can eat, it will be the first time she ever eats. Hubby was on a vent so long that had to suck on candy here and there for a couple of weeks before his taste buds finally gave him permission to think it tasted good. Almost anyone stuck on a vent for a while has trouble eating again because food doesn't taste "right." Your baby won't go through that, because she/he had no preconceived memories of food.
And, when I was 6 months old a doctor broke both of my feet to stop me from being pigeon-toed. I was in casts for 6 weeks and Mom was beside herself with guilt and worry. I was young enough to have absolutely no memories of that. So you're vent baby will become a not-vent-baby without memories of being a vent baby. That's a good thing too.
But will your baby stay on a vent? Assuming not, that is your goal -- to comfort... I was going to say to comfort until off the vent, but you're Mom, so your life from here on out is to love your baby, and comfort is part of that, so no time off. Nor will you ever want time off from that one.
I can tell you what I did/do, but I suspect you already know this. I cry, seek God, ask the continual "why" knowing he won't give me an answer that works for me, pray, read the Bible, ask others to pray for hubby and me, and then muster up all I can muster to go see him each day in good spirits. It works most of the time. Without God holding me up, I suspect it would fail most of the time.
But there will be more life after this. What it will look like, I don't know. We just have to make it through today.
I can give you some good news -- because your baby still is a baby, she doesn't have to go through what most people on vents go through. When she can eat, it will be the first time she ever eats. Hubby was on a vent so long that had to suck on candy here and there for a couple of weeks before his taste buds finally gave him permission to think it tasted good. Almost anyone stuck on a vent for a while has trouble eating again because food doesn't taste "right." Your baby won't go through that, because she/he had no preconceived memories of food.
And, when I was 6 months old a doctor broke both of my feet to stop me from being pigeon-toed. I was in casts for 6 weeks and Mom was beside herself with guilt and worry. I was young enough to have absolutely no memories of that. So you're vent baby will become a not-vent-baby without memories of being a vent baby. That's a good thing too.
D
Everyone is talking professional help. I don't get that. Every bone in my body wants to be with hubby as often as possible. The rest of the day is filled with whatever else needs to be done with short moments of me time. Adding to that burden with more appointments to see someone else is past my grasp. Yes, if you have friends get them to help you. But I don't think this is time for professional help except the professionals who can help your son. That's just over filling an overfilled plate.
You're supposed to be depressed, and, yes, a bit numb. This is what it is to love this much and to feel so helpless when the love one doesn't feel good.
And now time to go see hubby.
You're supposed to be depressed, and, yes, a bit numb. This is what it is to love this much and to feel so helpless when the love one doesn't feel good.
And now time to go see hubby.
