When a man doesn't ask questions

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etanks21

Guest
#1
#1
It's me again. I have lots of questions and I will start with this one. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months. During my six month relationship I have noticed that he never asks me questions about myself as far as who am I?What defines me as the woman I am today? What do I like? What my dreams are?etc... I'm the one who tells him about me since he never asks. I have brought it to his attentions and asked why he never asks questions about me or if there's something he wants to know? He says, "I don't need to ask you questions because I get to know you as we talk and share stories" sometimes I feel like I engage with him more in conversations then he does with me. The man is a talker but doesn't ask me inner or insightful questions. He talks about his job a lot and how everyone loves to work with him. This concerns me or am I crazy?
 
Sirk

Sirk

Banned
#2
Mar 2, 2016
8,896
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#2
so what you are saying is that basically you don't feel connected with him?
 
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etanks21

Guest
#3
#3
He's a good man but i don't feel that connection of him getting to know me. I don't feel like he cares about knowing me. I feel like we are together just because we have invested time in this relationship but it does bother me that he doesn't ask me questions on who I am instead of the just the basic general question of "how was ur day?" I need something more insightful or deeper
 
azlightsout

azlightsout

Senior Member
#4
Apr 20, 2016
2,151
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#4
Not sure if this helps but if i dont ask a girl a question its not because i dont care or dont want to know but its because i tend to dwell on things . 6 months is a little soon to get what your looking for (at least i think so)
 
MsSuzanna

MsSuzanna

Banned
#5
Apr 22, 2016
1,218
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#5
azlightsout said:
Not sure if this helps but if i dont ask a girl a question its not because i dont care or dont want to know but its because i tend to dwell on things . 6 months is a little soon to get what your looking for (at least i think so)
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Seriously? I expect a man to ask me questions about who I am on the first date! Otherwise, why bother? A "heart" connection has to be made or I am out of there!
It takes effort to relay that you care about what makes a person tick otherwise you are perceoved as a selfish self centered jerk imho
 
azlightsout

azlightsout

Senior Member
#6
Apr 20, 2016
2,151
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#6
MsSuzanna said:
Seriously? I expect a man to ask me questions about who I am on the first date! Otherwise, why bother? A "heart" connection has to be made or I am out of there!
It takes effort to relay that you care about what makes a person tick otherwise you are perceoved as a selfish self centered jerk imho
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I dont want to argue i was just offering my opinion - My question to u is how "Caught up in U" do u want him ?
 
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coby2

Guest
#7
#7
MsSuzanna said:
Seriously? I expect a man to ask me questions about who I am on the first date! Otherwise, why bother? A "heart" connection has to be made or I am out of there!
It takes effort to relay that you care about what makes a person tick otherwise you are perceoved as a selfish self centered jerk imho
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I think it's just culture or something. Here any guy I speak to on a dating site within 2 days has to know absolutely everything. Doesn't mean they're very interested. It doesn't say anything about their character. I had selfish jerks do it too because they simply wanted to know if they had to bring their condoms and if they could expect sex on the first date.
 
notuptome

notuptome

Senior Member
#8
May 17, 2013
15,050
2,538
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#8
He's a guy. Guy's don't ask questions they just take for granted. Or they just don't want the answers they expect to receive.

For the cause of Christ
Roger
 
Sirk

Sirk

Banned
#9
Mar 2, 2016
8,896
112
0
#9
This is why I don't do well in a relationship. People have too high of expectations. I just want to be free to be me and loved for me.....not for what someone thinks I should be for them. My personal opinion is that there are too many "princesses" who need to be taken care of and want that unattainable tingly feeling 24/7 365.
 
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kaylagrl

Guest
#10
#10
notuptome said:
He's a guy. Guy's don't ask questions they just take for granted. Or they just don't want the answers they expect to receive.

For the cause of Christ
Roger
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It depends on the person. My husband asked a lot about me especially when we started dating. He wanted to know about how I grew up and my family and life in general. We're still finding out new things about each other.
 
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kaylagrl

Guest
#11
#11
etanks21 said:
It's me again. I have lots of questions and I will start with this one. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months. During my six month relationship I have noticed that he never asks me questions about myself as far as who am I?What defines me as the woman I am today? What do I like? What my dreams are?etc... I'm the one who tells him about me since he never asks. I have brought it to his attentions and asked why he never asks questions about me or if there's something he wants to know? He says, "I don't need to ask you questions because I get to know you as we talk and share stories" sometimes I feel like I engage with him more in conversations then he does with me. The man is a talker but doesn't ask me inner or insightful questions. He talks about his job a lot and how everyone loves to work with him. This concerns me or am I crazy?
Click to expand...

I think we kind of discussed in another thread,you said that he is not a Christian. That is the only thing that you should be concerned about. Nothing is more important than that.
 
azlightsout

azlightsout

Senior Member
#12
Apr 20, 2016
2,151
57
48
#12
Sirk said:
This is why I don't do well in a relationship. People have too high of expectations. I just want to be free to be me and loved for me.....not for what someone thinks I should be for them. My personal opinion is that there are too many "princesses" who need to be taken care of and want that unattainable tingly feeling 24/7 365.
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yeah i hear u - expectations way too high
 
Dan58

Dan58

Senior Member
#13
Nov 13, 2013
1,991
338
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#13
I'd agree, stop talking about yourself, its boring :). Some people prefer to live in the moment and not dwell on the past. Like he said, he doesn't need to ask you questions because your already constantly telling him about yourself. Try dwelling on the here and now, he might find it much more interesting.. jmo
 
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coby2

Guest
#14
#14
Sirk said:
This is why I don't do well in a relationship. People have too high of expectations. I just want to be free to be me and loved for me.....not for what someone thinks I should be for them. My personal opinion is that there are too many "princesses" who need to be taken care of and want that unattainable tingly feeling 24/7 365.
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You have that when you're in love which TS obviously isn't, otherwise she wouldn't ask any questions.
 
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kaylagrl

Guest
#15
#15
Sirk said:
This is why I don't do well in a relationship. People have too high of expectations. I just want to be free to be me and loved for me.....not for what someone thinks I should be for them. My personal opinion is that there are too many "princesses" who need to be taken care of and want that unattainable tingly feeling 24/7 365.
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Quote "My personal opinion is that there are too many "princesses" who need to be taken care of and want that unattainable tingly feeling 24/7 365."

Ahh maybe,maybe not but he should at least be interested enough to ask something about her and find out who she is. Not to be nasty because I understand where you are coming from,but it could be said there are too many self involved,mommas boys out there that think its all about them. But either way this is not her issue,the issue is he isn't a Christian and she is. Nothing else matters,its a wrong relationship from the get go.
 
notuptome

notuptome

Senior Member
#16
May 17, 2013
15,050
2,538
113
#16
kaylagrl said:
It depends on the person. My husband asked a lot about me especially when we started dating. He wanted to know about how I grew up and my family and life in general. We're still finding out new things about each other.
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Bingo. You are due a cookie. That's why he is a husband and this other guy is just a guy.

For the cause of Christ
Roger
 
Sirk

Sirk

Banned
#18
Mar 2, 2016
8,896
112
0
#18
It seems as though you are asking him to be more interested in you so that you can feel better about yourself. Your value needs to come from within not from without. Eventually he will start to feel that pull from your insecurity and it will lead to even further disconnection. This is really just my opinion and I don't mean any harm.
 
MsSuzanna

MsSuzanna

Banned
#19
Apr 22, 2016
1,218
12
0
#19
azlightsout said:
I dont want to argue i was just offering my opinion - My question to u is how "Caught up in U" do u want him ?
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I dont want to argue either. I was presenting a response to your reply.
I want a man to show me he is interested by asking me questions about myself just as I naturally ask him questions about himself. How else do you get to know a person?
 
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