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Mar 23, 2014
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#41
Pretty sure I'm in the acceptance phase. I wasn't heartbroken when my wife decided to pull the plug.,.,,.,.,.

When I was a teenager, the true joy between a man & a woman was having a baby.

In my youth it was called "LOVE"; I had no exposure to "SEX"

Now a father of two/\

What is there lift to do--?

A woman is still the greatest creation of all creations
 
Mar 2, 2016
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#42
When I was a teenager, the true joy between a man & a woman was having a baby.

In my youth it was called "LOVE"; I had no exposure to "SEX"

Now a father of two/\

What is there lift to do--?

A woman is still the greatest creation of all creations
Not all women....Lol.
 
Mar 23, 2014
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#43
I’m interested in a monitoring sensor that can keep track of my blood pressure and temperature

Maybe stored on my computer while recording real time in real time

does one exist-?

:)-
 
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Depleted

Guest
#44
Happens to the best of them - Jordan, Shaq, Tiger, --- Keep your head up , Stick your chest out, Look in the mirror and tell yourself "I look good , i feel good" daily ..... Now i truly see why so many guys are in the GYM ---
AZ has a good point here. No matter what happens, you won't lose as much as Jordan, Shaq, or Tiger ever did. (Looking for the silver lining. Too soon to try and get you to smile?)
 
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#45
the hard part is the people who are mad on my behalf. I'm finding that I have to be careful because they can escalate my emotions. Trying to set boundaries with people who go negative is hard because I don't want to alienate friends. I'm doing pretty good today. Not gonna talk about it or think about it anymore. We choose our thoughts and therefore have control over our emotional well being.
I know it's out of style, but how about a "talk to the hand" gesture for your friends.


And I really don't mean that literally, but talk to your friends when they start commiserating to tell them you don't need help being angry. Then give some kind of gesture they'll recognize, so the next time they start in with it you can make that gesture and they'll remember. That way you don't get help to be angrier, but don't lose your friends either. Added bonus: you don't have to keep telling them the same thing.

It really is hard not to commiserate. Empathy has a negative side too.
 

Sirk

Banned
Mar 2, 2016
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#47
I know it's out of style, but how about a "talk to the hand" gesture for your friends.


And I really don't mean that literally, but talk to your friends when they start commiserating to tell them you don't need help being angry. Then give some kind of gesture they'll recognize, so the next time they start in with it you can make that gesture and they'll remember. That way you don't get help to be angrier, but don't lose your friends either. Added bonus: you don't have to keep telling them the same thing.

It really is hard not to commiserate. Empathy has a negative side too.
empathy totally has a negative side! I never thought about that until you said it. My pastor asked me how I was doing in this kind of pathetic how you doing kind of way. I told him I was pretty guarded. Seemed to satisfy him.
 
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#48
empathy totally has a negative side! I never thought about that until you said it. My pastor asked me how I was doing in this kind of pathetic how you doing kind of way. I told him I was pretty guarded. Seemed to satisfy him.
That's what I like about guys. Guys are so better at telling the same thing in so many less words.
 

Sirk

Banned
Mar 2, 2016
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#49
Played guitar for three services this weekend. So many people that I've never even seen before came up and said the same thing..."it was really good to see you up there". It was nice to hear for sure. Looking back on this weekend I think it was the first time I've ever not cared about impressing people or being liked or whatever. Probably the first time in my life I've ever truly felt that way. This may sound course but for the first time in my life I honestly don't care about what people think of me. I feel free of those chains.
 
Apr 22, 2016
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#50
Played guitar for three services this weekend. So many people that I've never even seen before came up and said the same thing..."it was really good to see you up there". It was nice to hear for sure. Looking back on this weekend I think it was the first time I've ever not cared about impressing people or being liked or whatever. Probably the first time in my life I've ever truly felt that way. This may sound course but for the first time in my life I honestly don't care about what people think of me. I feel free of those chains.
Praise the Lord! It sounds as if you are growing. Thats so wonderful!
When we are performing for Jesus we shouldnt have any care but letting HIM lead and we really dont see anything else around us. Right? Been there done that. But I wasnt always in that "zone"

I was a lead sing for many yrs. I am a professionally trained musician. I had to learn surrender to Christ leading when performing. Beforehand and in the world, I was used to performing as the world performs; self gratuitous and for their own glory.
 
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#51
Played guitar for three services this weekend. So many people that I've never even seen before came up and said the same thing..."it was really good to see you up there". It was nice to hear for sure. Looking back on this weekend I think it was the first time I've ever not cared about impressing people or being liked or whatever. Probably the first time in my life I've ever truly felt that way. This may sound course but for the first time in my life I honestly don't care about what people think of me. I feel free of those chains.
Welcome to the club! And stick around, because the only time people get to decide if they like you or not is when you let them know who you are. If they don't like you? Oh well. 7.X billion people on the planet. If they do like you, then the next question comes. Do you like them? If you don't, oh well. 7.X billion people on the planet. If you do? One more friend!
 
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NewWine

Guest
#52
Hang in there Sirk. Praying for you!
 
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NewWine

Guest
#53
Played guitar for three services this weekend. So many people that I've never even seen before came up and said the same thing..."it was really good to see you up there". It was nice to hear for sure. Looking back on this weekend I think it was the first time I've ever not cared about impressing people or being liked or whatever. Probably the first time in my life I've ever truly felt that way. This may sound course but for the first time in my life I honestly don't care about what people think of me. I feel free of those chains.
Not coarse at all! God's love is very freeing.....even of our people pleasing chains. Freedom is awesome isn't it?
 
Feb 28, 2016
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#54
His outstretched hand is always waiting for us, brand-new opportunities to grab ahold of and fly...
TY Father, for Your unfathomable, Holy, Love...
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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#55
I was sicken after reading your post. May God grant you the means to get as far away as possible from those terrible people.
 

Sirk

Banned
Mar 2, 2016
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#56
I was sicken after reading your post. May God grant you the means to get as far away as possible from those terrible people.
Thanks T. Looking back on that experience I don't know how I survived. Words can't express how awful it was. One thing I've learned is to really guard myself. I've always been the type of person who gives the shirt off my back for others. I'm not gonna change in that regard because I don't want to be this jaded prick....but I will never sacrifice my boundaries for sick people again.
 

Dan58

Senior Member
Nov 13, 2013
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#57
Thanks T. Looking back on that experience I don't know how I survived. Words can't express how awful it was. One thing I've learned is to really guard myself. I've always been the type of person who gives the shirt off my back for others. I'm not gonna change in that regard because I don't want to be this jaded prick....but I will never sacrifice my boundaries for sick people again.
Now-a-days, there's too many people who will take the shirt off your back, and everything else. Misplaced compassion can be very detrimental to your own well being and peace of mind.

If you ever get married again, I have found that its always good to work with the person first. You learn more about what a person is made of when they have a load of work in front of them. Paint a house or something, and if the other person doesn't do their share, the marriage will be no different :)
 
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Guest
#58
I have a really good book...BOUNDARIES...by Drs Henry Cloud & John Townsend

I think you might like to get yourself a copy...I have found it quite insightful and it certainly helped me..

It's a little heavy here and there but worth the effort

just a suggestion :)
 
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Ultimatum77

Guest
#59
Brother Sirk May God Bless you and strengthen you through this stressful situation! Be on guard when you meet this person and also do what's right for yourself and your young son! :) Don't let this person (your op) who lacks self-respect bully you into anything! May God give you discernment in this situation! Blessings to you!