Tomorrow is the big day

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Sirk

Sirk

Banned
#1
Mar 2, 2016
8,896
112
0
#1
I don't know how much I should reveal but I married a women that I shouldn't have and I even knew it then but I went thru with it anyway. Dummy... I married a gal who hadn't had a job in years and slept all the time. Basically a leach who lived off mommy and daddy and the gubberment. Her children sabotaged my food and who knows what else in that regard. She allowed a troubled autistic kid to make bombs and he tried to burn our house down and put holes all over this house that I worked my a$$ off to make nice for them.

None of them cared and I went further and further in the hole while this whole thing burned to the ground, while she....didn't have a job, went to lunch bible study and coffee every day and then....slept while the house became more and more of a garbage pit. She also would not let me put said troubled autistic kids 22 he built with his grandfather in my safe so he kept it in his room with ammo no less. I honestly feared for my life at times and slept with one eye open. I wasn't a mean guy but these people had no idea how to connect. Complete and utter chaos and no accountability.

I could go on and on about the lunacy...oh wait...here's another doozy...when the boy wanted to come home from school he'd just crap his pants and mommy would go rescue him. (5th grader at the time). Once he dug his poo out of the toilet at school and thru it all over the wall. Nice huh?

Anyway...this leach of a person is trying to get somewhere near 50k out of me after she left my credit in shambles and I sold practically everything I own to keep going. I'm a little crabby tonight and maybe just needed to let off some steam. Tomorrow morning I have a lovely "mediation" with this travesty of a human being and it is the last thing on earth that I want to do.

If anyone comes here and judges me I may rip your head off....soooo...fair warning. Lol
 
T

Tintin

Guest
#2
#2
Wow. That's crazy. I have no words. I'll be praying for you, dear brother.
 
Sirk

Sirk

Banned
#3
Mar 2, 2016
8,896
112
0
#3
Thanks Tin. You're a good dude.
 
C

coby2

Guest
#4
#4
First of all I want to judge you for....
 
D

dalconn

Guest
#5
#5
All I can say is we've all made our mistakes haven't we? I pray that God will gather up all of those lemons and make you a nice cold glass of lemonade :) Hang in there!
 
Willie-T

Willie-T

Banned
#6
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
0
#6
Good thing you and I squared away a little bit, Bro. I'll work extra hard to remain cool. And, we will be praying for you.
 
C

coby2

Guest
#7
#7
Lol I remember when I divorced and I was sooooo mad at him. I went on and on and on and on all day long telling my new crush how much of a monster he was, day in, day out. Poor me.
Then 7 months later we had mediation and we said sorry to each other and I told this new guy when he said what an awful guy my ex was:
oh shut up! Forgive him. It was all my fault.
He was like: What???? You tell me how horrible he was day in day out and now all of a sudden you expect me to like him?
 
Sirk

Sirk

Banned
#8
Mar 2, 2016
8,896
112
0
#8
I don't go around bad mouthing her and I accept responsibility for my stupidity in marrying her. Lol. But I ain't gonna become this leaches indentured servant. Wish me luck. Thanks
 
Tinkerbell725

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
#9
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
113
Philippines Age 40
#9
I feel convicted to wish you a good day tomorrow. Although you get to decide what kind of day you will have tomorrow. It could be your day of liberation from your hatred towards them or a very bad day that you choose to be more angry at them. God bless...

FB_IMG_1459079088572.jpg
 
Sirk

Sirk

Banned
#10
Mar 2, 2016
8,896
112
0
#10
Tinkerbell725 said:
I feel convicted to wish you a good day tomorrow. Although you get to decide what kind of day you will have tomorrow. It could be your day of liberation from your hatred towards them or a very bad day that you choose to be more angry at them. God bless...

View attachment 148505
Click to expand...
i don't hate them but I am angry about this deal. I felt pretty used when I was in the middle of that train wreck and this is an extension of that. She is still attempting to use me.
 
Tinkerbell725

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
#11
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
113
Philippines Age 40
#11
Sirk said:
i don't hate them but I am angry about this deal. I felt pretty used when I was in the middle of that train wreck and this is an extension of that. She is still attempting to use me.
Click to expand...
Anger is medicine but after the expiration date it becomes poison.
 
Born_Again

Born_Again

Senior Member
#12
Nov 15, 2014
1,583
128
63
#12
WOW! Brother, I pray for you. At least you accept the mistake you made. But that seems minimal compared to what she has put you through.

Praying..
 
Sirk

Sirk

Banned
#13
Mar 2, 2016
8,896
112
0
#13
Tinkerbell725 said:
Anger is medicine but after the expiration date it becomes poison.
Click to expand...
Anger is an indication that a boundary has been crossed or a core value has been violated. If you don't process the pain underneath the anger...that is when anger becomes poison.
 
Tinkerbell725

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
#14
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
113
Philippines Age 40
#14
Sirk said:
Anger is an indication that a boundary has been crossed or a core value has been violated. If you don't process the pain underneath the anger...that is when anger becomes poison.
Click to expand...
Right. Processing time is within the expiration date. After that you will have to forgive. People can be angry until they die because it has become a poison and they can no longer forgive.
 
Sirk

Sirk

Banned
#15
Mar 2, 2016
8,896
112
0
#15
Tinkerbell725 said:
Right. Processing time is within the expiration date. After that you will have to forgive. People can be angry until they die because it has become a poison and they can no longer forgive.
Click to expand...
Well this has been going on since August, so it's more of a bur under my saddle than it is about anger. I just want to get on with my life.
 
C

coby2

Guest
#16
#16
Sirk said:
I don't go around bad mouthing her and I accept responsibility for my stupidity in marrying her. Lol. But I ain't gonna become this leaches indentured servant. Wish me luck. Thanks
Click to expand...
Yes I'll pray you don't have to pay.
It worked well with my ex when I said I was sorry and didn't mention what he did. Then he said sorry too. He was so mad and he had a filthy attorney who said: Why must she have a house? She can live with her parents. Let her work a day more, not see her kids and pay him everything.
Since the reconciliation he never tried to get my money anymore. He was just angry. Now I just give him because I want to. Don't have to pay anything.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#17
#17
Sirk said:
I don't know how much I should reveal but I married a women that I shouldn't have and I even knew it then but I went thru with it anyway. Dummy... I married a gal who hadn't had a job in years and slept all the time. Basically a leach who lived off mommy and daddy and the gubberment. Her children sabotaged my food and who knows what else in that regard. She allowed a troubled autistic kid to make bombs and he tried to burn our house down and put holes all over this house that I worked my a$$ off to make nice for them.

None of them cared and I went further and further in the hole while this whole thing burned to the ground, while she....didn't have a job, went to lunch bible study and coffee every day and then....slept while the house became more and more of a garbage pit. She also would not let me put said troubled autistic kids 22 he built with his grandfather in my safe so he kept it in his room with ammo no less. I honestly feared for my life at times and slept with one eye open. I wasn't a mean guy but these people had no idea how to connect. Complete and utter chaos and no accountability.

I could go on and on about the lunacy...oh wait...here's another doozy...when the boy wanted to come home from school he'd just crap his pants and mommy would go rescue him. (5th grader at the time). Once he dug his poo out of the toilet at school and thru it all over the wall. Nice huh?

Anyway...this leach of a person is trying to get somewhere near 50k out of me after she left my credit in shambles and I sold practically everything I own to keep going. I'm a little crabby tonight and maybe just needed to let off some steam. Tomorrow morning I have a lovely "mediation" with this travesty of a human being and it is the last thing on earth that I want to do.

If anyone comes here and judges me I may rip your head off....soooo...fair warning. Lol
Click to expand...
My dad and his second wife's divorce went along peachy-keen in a "who in the world takes NINE freaking years to divorce" kind of way. Growing up, the biggest curse word I ever heard coming out of my dad's mouth was crap. He knew we could curse and we knew he could curse, but we never cursed around each other.

Year Three in that debacle and I was visiting Dad and my youngest brother and sister for the day. (They were kids when the divorce started. One was in college when it finished. That's how they grew up and I see the scars all over both of them from it.) My two siblings were spending the weekend with him, and he had to drive them back to her house again shortly. Shall we leave it that he was not a happy camper when it came to having to drop off his kids to her house?

So, as they were getting ready to go, he unloaded on me in the dining room. Wow! Dad didn't merely know how to curse, he knew every curse word I knew and he taught me some interesting ways to string some of them together that night. BUT he was yelling, and I knew the kids could hear him. (Kind of stuck between knowing he needed to get this off his chest, but that's THEIR Mom he's talking about.) He had a four-word phrase he kept calling her with the last word the one and only curse word I refuse to use. But by the end of his steamroll that was the phrase I was stuck with on how he described her.

So, I went with him (for moral support) when he dropped the two kids off at his previous home. (The one he paid for but gave her outright in the divorce. The one I came home to in the summertime when I was at college, so it felt something like "my house" too.) He lucked out that night. She didn't come to the door, and the kids hopped out of the car and ran to the door to prove to him he didn't need to knock on his previous-own door.

But once they left, I asked how long the divorce seemed like it would take from ... And then I used that same four-word phrase he kept using to describe her.

Much to my surprise, (because Dad is not a humorous nor humor-filled guy), he burst out laughing. Then he said, "I had no idea you hated her as much as I do, but I guess I went off a little too hard, huh?"

Uh, I don't hate her at all. I knew they should have never married, but I have two siblings I wouldn't have had if that "mistake" never happened. She's a nice lady, if not a bit too wishy-washy for my tste, but the only reason Dad married her is because she kind of looked like Mom and taught like Mom would have done if Dad would let her. So he tried to marry someone like Mom, never really catching on to marrying Mom was a disaster too.

What I hated was how long the divorce took, especially given he told her at the very beginning that he would give her half of his money PLUS that house and child support. NINE freaking years, and it ended with she got exactly what Dad told her she was getting and she never wanted more than that anyway. It took 8.5 freaking years simply because two lawyers wanted to drag it out that long to keep getting paid for doing nothing. And she, being wishy washy, couldn't make up her mind about anything she wanted. It took half a year after Dad fired his one lawyer and then got the best lawyer in the county. (And that county is in the top ten richest counties in the country, so lawyers there make a boatload of money from divorces.)

But, I really did appreciate Dad laughed. It broke his wreathing anger that day.

I hope you laugh tonight, Sirk.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#18
#18
Sirk said:
Anger is an indication that a boundary has been crossed or a core value has been violated. If you don't process the pain underneath the anger...that is when anger becomes poison.
Click to expand...
I think anger is not being heard. (Then again, that could be my boundary and core value.)
 
Sirk

Sirk

Banned
#19
Mar 2, 2016
8,896
112
0
#19
Depleted said:
I think anger is not being heard. (Then again, that could be my boundary and core value.)
Click to expand...
Can be lots of things like that. Not being heard could be the feeling of being disregarded or disrespected.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#20
#20
I'm hoping Sirk comes back more relieved. Even if it was worse than he thought, it's still over for now.
 
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