facebook marriage problems

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Was my wife emotional cheating ?

  • Yes this is considered cheating

    Votes: 4 66.7%

  • No this is not considered cheating

    Votes: 2 33.3%
  • Total voters
    6
  • Poll closed .
M

mscott

Guest
#1
#1
Thank you for taking time to read this and I would greatly appreciate prayer for my marriage problems. I would like to tell my story and ask for feedback regarding this issue. Me and my wife are in our early 50's and have been married about 4 years and are christians. About 2 years ago I was concerned about her facebook posts so she blocked me. I let it go to keep peace and because I trusted her even though she is on her phone all the time. About 3 weeks ago we were sitting together on the couch and she gave me her phone to look at a picture. While I was looking at it a man I did not know messaged in through facebook. I took the phone and went to the bathroom to read which angered her. She had left him a message with her phone number and a heart(love) emblem asking him to call (HMU) sometime. He asked, will you get in trouble,& when would be a good time to call.Anyway she claimed some story about the guy was a young man that used to play with her nephew as a kid (mid 20's now) and she used to watch and that he wanted her nephew's phone number. I said why didn't you just give him the nephew's number instead of yours. Anyway the story went on for 2 weeks and I found out that it wasn't the same guy which she finally admitted that it was a lie. He was 41 and a Harley rider and she loves Harleys. She claimed this guy also knew her nephew (big age difference) from years ago and that she saw him at a store about 2 years ago. Anyway she said he had been asking her about her past marriage (through facebook) and heard she had an affair.She claimed she was upset about the affair questioning (which she denied having) and this was the reason she gave him her phone number, so she could question him about it.Later I found out she had over a 100 men friends on facebook that I didn't know and she claimed they were all either guys she used to go to church with or old school friends that were like brothers.She even admitted she sent 1 man who lives out of town and who is single some money because he was having a hard time and he was a good friend in school (over 30 years ago) that she hadn't seen in 30 years. She did apologize a couple of days ago and deleted her facebook account but now she is annoyed and ill with me because I am still hurting and talking about it. She keeps saying just let it go and that she should just leave me cause I can't let it go yet. She claims they were all just friends and its me overacting. Sorry for the drama and long story but this has hurt me greatly and I have no one to discuss with.
Please let me know if what she has done is considered cheating (emotional) even though I don't think anything physical happened.
 
R

Rosesrock

Guest
#2
#2
Yep. My opinion. Lying is lying. She's hiding something. If she can't tell you everything then yes. It's deception.
Women don't give there numbers out and then the guy asks if she will get in trouble if there's nothing up.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#3
Mar 13, 2014
41,313
16,301
113
69
Tennessee
#3
It is not uncommon for someone to have hundreds of friends on Facebook. I know that you are hurting but from your post I would say that your wife, while being insensitive to you and using poor judgement has not cheated on you. She deleted her account to keep the peace. I would leave it at that. To strengthen the trust in your marriage it will become critical to place God in the center. I recommend daily prayer and devotions together. I'm sorry that you are hurting but time and God can heal the rift between you and your wife. Welcome to CC.
 
P

presidente

Senior Member
#4
May 29, 2013
9,084
1,749
113
#4
It sounds very suspicious, especially the 'get in trouble' part. Having hundreds of male friends is no big deal if she has hundreds of female friends, too.

If it were me, I wouldn't stand for being banned on Facebook. I can ask for my wife's facebook password (since I have forgotten it), and she could ask for mine. My wife gets inquiries from strange men, often soldiers. She has told me about them. Now, she just doesn't friend the men. She even got messages from men wanting to make her acquaintence when I was next to her in her facebook picture.
 
E

Eternallife

Guest
#5
#5
mscott said:
Thank you for taking time to read this and I would greatly appreciate prayer for my marriage problems. I would like to tell my story and ask for feedback regarding this issue. Me and my wife are in our early 50's and have been married about 4 years and are christians. About 2 years ago I was concerned about her facebook posts so she blocked me. I let it go to keep peace and because I trusted her even though she is on her phone all the time. About 3 weeks ago we were sitting together on the couch and she gave me her phone to look at a picture. While I was looking at it a man I did not know messaged in through facebook. I took the phone and went to the bathroom to read which angered her. She had left him a message with her phone number and a heart(love) emblem asking him to call (HMU) sometime. He asked, will you get in trouble,& when would be a good time to call.Anyway she claimed some story about the guy was a young man that used to play with her nephew as a kid (mid 20's now) and she used to watch and that he wanted her nephew's phone number. I said why didn't you just give him the nephew's number instead of yours. Anyway the story went on for 2 weeks and I found out that it wasn't the same guy which she finally admitted that it was a lie. He was 41 and a Harley rider and she loves Harleys. She claimed this guy also knew her nephew (big age difference) from years ago and that she saw him at a store about 2 years ago. Anyway she said he had been asking her about her past marriage (through facebook) and heard she had an affair.She claimed she was upset about the affair questioning (which she denied having) and this was the reason she gave him her phone number, so she could question him about it.Later I found out she had over a 100 men friends on facebook that I didn't know and she claimed they were all either guys she used to go to church with or old school friends that were like brothers.She even admitted she sent 1 man who lives out of town and who is single some money because he was having a hard time and he was a good friend in school (over 30 years ago) that she hadn't seen in 30 years. She did apologize a couple of days ago and deleted her facebook account but now she is annoyed and ill with me because I am still hurting and talking about it. She keeps saying just let it go and that she should just leave me cause I can't let it go yet. She claims they were all just friends and its me overacting. Sorry for the drama and long story but this has hurt me greatly and I have no one to discuss with.
Please let me know if what she has done is considered cheating (emotional) even though I don't think anything physical happened.
Click to expand...
hey I would take most of what you see on Facebook with a grain of salt. I have seen stuff on my Facebook that I never posted before. My opinion is there is much Christian persecution on facebook
 
Dan58

Dan58

Senior Member
#6
Nov 13, 2013
1,991
338
83
#6
No, I don't see any cheating going on.. I see an over-reaction from an emotionally charged husband :).. Forcing her to close her Facebook account was a sign of distrust that she'll probably resent and never forget. I'll admit that randomly giving her phone number out to strange men on the internet demonstrated poor judgement on her part, but technically, she didn't cheat... jmo
 
G

GraceRevelation

Guest
#7
#7
She's not being straight up and she's being sneaky. She did close her facebook account which is a huge deal. Since she did that I would let it go if more suspicious things start popping up handle it then. Emotional cheating? It's hard to say how far it went.. don't over-react to much, she's apologized. If your struggling with trusting her ask God to help you and give you the wisdom in how to deal with it.
 
jsr1221

jsr1221

Senior Member
#8
Jul 7, 2013
4,265
77
48
#8
The fact she blocked you kinda says it all. She doesn't want you to see what she is up to. If you're marrried, heck even dating, there are no secrets. You guys are best friends, and, (if you use Facebook or social media) you two are "friends" on there too. But she is cheating and she is hiding it from you.
 
M

Messy

Banned
#9
May 26, 2016
545
3
0
#9
mscott said:
Thank you for taking time to read this and I would greatly appreciate prayer for my marriage problems. I would like to tell my story and ask for feedback regarding this issue. Me and my wife are in our early 50's and have been married about 4 years and are christians. About 2 years ago I was concerned about her facebook posts so she blocked me. I let it go to keep peace and because I trusted her even though she is on her phone all the time. About 3 weeks ago we were sitting together on the couch and she gave me her phone to look at a picture. While I was looking at it a man I did not know messaged in through facebook. I took the phone and went to the bathroom to read which angered her. She had left him a message with her phone number and a heart(love) emblem asking him to call (HMU) sometime. He asked, will you get in trouble,& when would be a good time to call.Anyway she claimed some story about the guy was a young man that used to play with her nephew as a kid (mid 20's now) and she used to watch and that he wanted her nephew's phone number. I said why didn't you just give him the nephew's number instead of yours. Anyway the story went on for 2 weeks and I found out that it wasn't the same guy which she finally admitted that it was a lie. He was 41 and a Harley rider and she loves Harleys. She claimed this guy also knew her nephew (big age difference) from years ago and that she saw him at a store about 2 years ago. Anyway she said he had been asking her about her past marriage (through facebook) and heard she had an affair.She claimed she was upset about the affair questioning (which she denied having) and this was the reason she gave him her phone number, so she could question him about it.Later I found out she had over a 100 men friends on facebook that I didn't know and she claimed they were all either guys she used to go to church with or old school friends that were like brothers.She even admitted she sent 1 man who lives out of town and who is single some money because he was having a hard time and he was a good friend in school (over 30 years ago) that she hadn't seen in 30 years. She did apologize a couple of days ago and deleted her facebook account but now she is annoyed and ill with me because I am still hurting and talking about it. She keeps saying just let it go and that she should just leave me cause I can't let it go yet. She claims they were all just friends and its me overacting. Sorry for the drama and long story but this has hurt me greatly and I have no one to discuss with.
Please let me know if what she has done is considered cheating (emotional) even though I don't think anything physical happened.
Click to expand...
That's cheating.
She lies. She blocked you. If you're married and you're all the time on Facebook there's something wrong with your marriage.
If she isn't sorry watch out it doesn't happen again.
 
Demi777

Demi777

Senior Member
#10
Oct 13, 2014
6,877
1,949
113
Germany
#10
Best thing to do is delete the account that she can never recall it. You two are married and I only read to the part that she blocked you and the messages she got.
Delete the account completely , but first send the people a message or post on her profile that shes happily married and that she wont be online for a while. God bless!!
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#11
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#11
Get her off Fake Book. Then you won't have (so many) marriage problems.. :/
 
G

GAOH

Guest
#12
#12
blue_ladybug said:
Get her off Fake Book. Then you won't have (so many) marriage problems.. :/
Click to expand...
I say take that phone and smash it. and don't pay for another phone service and if that don't work pack her bags.
 
R

Reb3680

Guest
#13
#13
She is hiding something from you. She would not be so defensive if she was innocent. You can still cheat even if it isn't physical. Emotional cheating is still cheating and painful. I am sorry you have to go through this. I have been dealing with similar for years in my own marriage, too. Happy to talk to you if you need. God Bless you!
 
islandman

islandman

Junior Member
#14
May 24, 2016
19
0
1
#14
My friend, pay for your wife. If you have to fast, take some time off work and just get alone with God. Ask his guidance.

You are at the being of a very serious spiritual attackon your marriage. Their are so many things going wrong in your relationship right now. Lack of trust. Insecurities, disrespect. You need to get yourself right with God. Ask him to help you fix your marriage.

I'll be praying things get better for you.
 
E

Eternallife

Guest
#15
#15
I don't know every detail of your life but I do want to remind people that Christ says that our enemies are going to say every evil falsely for Christ's name sake and the word says the devil deceives the nations. Christ says that even though they do this we are to believe Christ. So many seem to just think that hey every once in a while someone will say something rude to us or short change us at the store, but from what I have seen in my life persecutions are a lot more frequent. There are possibly people plotting on us right now to try to get us off track with Christ tomorrow. I hope people can understand what all I'm trying to say on this.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
J

jonams

Guest
#16
#16
your wife didn't meant to cheat emotionally, may be the enemy drives her on that, just pray and rebuke it because it might the enemy tried to squat away her emotion..there is power in the name Jesus Christ, rebuke and believe...remember that our enemy is not people nor our family.
 
J

jonams

Guest
#17
#17
To all husband and wife, flee from all unpleasant thing in the eyes of God, do the best thing are pleasing for the glory of God, set all minds up high do not allow your hearts and mind deprive in the presence of God be full on it in every minute.
 
CS1

CS1

Well-known member
#18
May 23, 2012
12,332
4,054
113
#18
mscott said:
Thank you for taking time to read this and I would greatly appreciate prayer for my marriage problems. I would like to tell my story and ask for feedback regarding this issue. Me and my wife are in our early 50's and have been married about 4 years and are christians. About 2 years ago I was concerned about her facebook posts so she blocked me. I let it go to keep peace and because I trusted her even though she is on her phone all the time. About 3 weeks ago we were sitting together on the couch and she gave me her phone to look at a picture. While I was looking at it a man I did not know messaged in through facebook. I took the phone and went to the bathroom to read which angered her. She had left him a message with her phone number and a heart(love) emblem asking him to call (HMU) sometime. He asked, will you get in trouble,& when would be a good time to call.Anyway she claimed some story about the guy was a young man that used to play with her nephew as a kid (mid 20's now) and she used to watch and that he wanted her nephew's phone number. I said why didn't you just give him the nephew's number instead of yours. Anyway the story went on for 2 weeks and I found out that it wasn't the same guy which she finally admitted that it was a lie. He was 41 and a Harley rider and she loves Harleys. She claimed this guy also knew her nephew (big age difference) from years ago and that she saw him at a store about 2 years ago. Anyway she said he had been asking her about her past marriage (through facebook) and heard she had an affair.She claimed she was upset about the affair questioning (which she denied having) and this was the reason she gave him her phone number, so she could question him about it.Later I found out she had over a 100 men friends on facebook that I didn't know and she claimed they were all either guys she used to go to church with or old school friends that were like brothers.She even admitted she sent 1 man who lives out of town and who is single some money because he was having a hard time and he was a good friend in school (over 30 years ago) that she hadn't seen in 30 years. She did apologize a couple of days ago and deleted her facebook account but now she is annoyed and ill with me because I am still hurting and talking about it. She keeps saying just let it go and that she should just leave me cause I can't let it go yet. She claims they were all just friends and its me overacting. Sorry for the drama and long story but this has hurt me greatly and I have no one to discuss with.
Please let me know if what she has done is considered cheating (emotional) even though I don't think anything physical happened.
Click to expand...
I Would like to say i am sorry for your situation but I would humbly posting that here may not be the best idea sir. You need to speak to her and an marriage counselor if she is willing. I can tel you that the more you put this out in the open the more she will restent you. Do you love her ? find out why she is doing this. And you need to ask her if she is willing to cut off all communication with this person. She is a married women and this guy should not be communicating with her.
 
T

TexasAmn

Guest
#19
#19
As someone who has been cheated on before by my wife, your wife didn't delete her Facebook to be nice. She's hiding evidence, so that you can't find more of what she's doing. She probably doesn't want to talk about it for a couple of reasons. One, it's a reminder of a huge error(no one is proud to be a cheater). Secondly, she doesn't want you to dig deeper into her deceptive past. I suggest you don't bring it up until you have more evidence, or until your willing to lose her for good. In the meantime, your in my prayers.
 
E

Eternallife

Guest
#20
#20
TexasAmn said:
As someone who has been cheated on before by my wife, your wife didn't delete her Facebook to be nice. She's hiding evidence, so that you can't find more of what she's doing. She probably doesn't want to talk about it for a couple of reasons. One, it's a reminder of a huge error(no one is proud to be a cheater). Secondly, she doesn't want you to dig deeper into her deceptive past. I suggest you don't bring it up until you have more evidence, or until your willing to lose her for good. In the meantime, your in my prayers.
Click to expand...
That is just an assumption by you and not a fact. Honestly the word tells us that the enemy is going to speak all evil about us and to us falsely because of Christ's name sake. So I'm sure that means stuff about people 's loved ones stuff we read and on TV etc. I'm not saying this is the case in the op dilemma , but what I'm saying is that professing Christians need to learn to believe God over man. I have learned that God has promised us so much that even if bad things seem to be happing to us if it is against what God has spoken about us, then we must reject it from being true and see it for what it is gainsaying deception. I hope people can understand what I'm saying because we will never make it out of this world if we believe even our own eyes over the word God has spoken over us.
 
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