-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
I discovered that even counsellors will leave one side or the other feeling as tho they are left out in the cold...and one spouse is usually sitting there to "help" the other get better. Getting better is about working on yourself. I've found that most people are both incapable and unwilling to start with themselves. Such is the world we live in....
the fact is that love can feel pretty unsafe unless you get yours from the real true source of it.
the fact is that love can feel pretty unsafe unless you get yours from the real true source of it.
Last edited:
Yes just focus on what you need to do, not he. Maybe he can't even lead. Maybe he's autistic or something. Or you take the lead and have to let go. I don't know. If he never wants sex and doesn't have affairs I'd think he's either autistic or a porn addict or it doesn't function anymore.
My ex didn't want sex for 3 years. Turned out later he had physical problems but was too proud to admit. It was my fault. I was such a controlling b*** and monstrously ugly, that's why he couldn't have sex. Oh yes and he didn't love me anymore for years. Sometimes they just lie.
Later after the divorce when we talked things out and said sorry, he said he had felt rejected because I was so busy with the kids and I felt rejected, because of how he treated me, he lived upstairs, I lived downstairs and he chatted with some stupid blonde American who understood him.
This whole marriage could simply have been healed if I would have refused to feel rejected and react and had just kept on praying day in day out. The devil wants to destroy marriages.
The wife of Smith Wigglesworth, he didn't follow God anymore or go to church and was nasty to her. She just kept on serving him and God. He didn't want her to go to church. She just friendly fixed his breakfast and went.
If one doesn't want to, but doesn't leave and the other lays his/ her life down, he'll either go serve God too or he can't stand the atmosphere anymore and will go.
My ex didn't want sex for 3 years. Turned out later he had physical problems but was too proud to admit. It was my fault. I was such a controlling b*** and monstrously ugly, that's why he couldn't have sex. Oh yes and he didn't love me anymore for years. Sometimes they just lie.
Later after the divorce when we talked things out and said sorry, he said he had felt rejected because I was so busy with the kids and I felt rejected, because of how he treated me, he lived upstairs, I lived downstairs and he chatted with some stupid blonde American who understood him.
This whole marriage could simply have been healed if I would have refused to feel rejected and react and had just kept on praying day in day out. The devil wants to destroy marriages.
The wife of Smith Wigglesworth, he didn't follow God anymore or go to church and was nasty to her. She just kept on serving him and God. He didn't want her to go to church. She just friendly fixed his breakfast and went.
If one doesn't want to, but doesn't leave and the other lays his/ her life down, he'll either go serve God too or he can't stand the atmosphere anymore and will go.
H
If God told you that you weren't worth it it would be devastating.. Advice to give up comes from quitters who don't value anyone. Go to God. Only He knows your husband well enough to tell you what he needs.
People have different love languages.
I don't want to loose the people in my life.. I don't care to have pride when it comes to loving them how they need it, not what I think they should get..
Some people are door mats and others think they are.
If you love him, take the example of Christ and serve him in truth guided by the Holy spirit..
If he's unwilling it is biblical to separate.
I pray the best happens and no one jumps the gun and ruins something that could have been salvaged...
Bad advice is bad advice.. some people should be muzzled for speaking against a marriage.. If God brought them together who is anyone to exalt themselves to say you deserve better, leave him..
Don't be Satan's tool people!!!
And dear don't let the enemy steal from you..
I'm not here for brownie points.. Advice should be corrected on here if its terrible...
I do not know anyone nor am against any one person but I despise advice that sows destruction..
People have different love languages.
I don't want to loose the people in my life.. I don't care to have pride when it comes to loving them how they need it, not what I think they should get..
Some people are door mats and others think they are.
If you love him, take the example of Christ and serve him in truth guided by the Holy spirit..
If he's unwilling it is biblical to separate.
I pray the best happens and no one jumps the gun and ruins something that could have been salvaged...
Bad advice is bad advice.. some people should be muzzled for speaking against a marriage.. If God brought them together who is anyone to exalt themselves to say you deserve better, leave him..
Don't be Satan's tool people!!!
And dear don't let the enemy steal from you..
I'm not here for brownie points.. Advice should be corrected on here if its terrible...
I do not know anyone nor am against any one person but I despise advice that sows destruction..
Until and unless he develops or restores his relationship with Christ there can be no peace and marital bliss. The man must be a man and a man before the Lord.
As long as he remains distant from the Lord he is vulnerable to satan.
1Pe 5:8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:
For the cause of Christ
Roger
As long as he remains distant from the Lord he is vulnerable to satan.
1Pe 5:8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:
For the cause of Christ
Roger
It was really helpful. We had a great marriage for years after we went to Toronto for counselling until the bomb exploded later. It was an elderly couple who would very sweetly explain the most simple things. They didn't pick sides. They prayed for inner healing. Now repeat after me, will you forgive me for.... and we got God on the first place. We prayed every morning. Once we stopped doing that it didn't take long before it all exploded.
What you earn? I earned nothing.
I mean we were focused on God and the harvest, praying for souls, instead of: me, me, me, I want this, you don't do that, I feel rejected etc. We had God first. It's warfare. We were saving people and the worst marriages got healed up. People got healed and set free. The devil thought: you know what? I'm gonna destroy that marriage and that ministry and we helped him do it.
I mean we were focused on God and the harvest, praying for souls, instead of: me, me, me, I want this, you don't do that, I feel rejected etc. We had God first. It's warfare. We were saving people and the worst marriages got healed up. People got healed and set free. The devil thought: you know what? I'm gonna destroy that marriage and that ministry and we helped him do it.
It's not an excuse. I say we helped him. Who else did he use but mainly us? If I had been smart I would have seen it and stopped him instead of blaming my ex and getting hurt and taking offense.
Look at me now. I almost fell from my faith. I see my kids half of the week and am sitting here with three rabbits. They're fun, but if I had known all that I would have done a lot more effort to stand firm and fight the devil instead of my ex.
Look at me now. I almost fell from my faith. I see my kids half of the week and am sitting here with three rabbits. They're fun, but if I had known all that I would have done a lot more effort to stand firm and fight the devil instead of my ex.
R
So why are we supposed to arm ourselves from attacks??
Eph 6:10-20
[FONT="]10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.[/FONT]
[FONT="]11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.[/FONT]
[FONT="]12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.[/FONT]
[FONT="]13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.[/FONT]
[FONT="]14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;[/FONT]
[FONT="]15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;[/FONT]
[FONT="]16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.[/FONT]
[FONT="]17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:
And Yes I agree "the devil made me do it" isn't an excuse. We choose to do what we do.
But can we agree that we're not fighting one other....we are in a spiritual battle personally.
[/FONT]
Eph 6:10-20
[FONT="]10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.[/FONT]
[FONT="]11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.[/FONT]
[FONT="]12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.[/FONT]
[FONT="]13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.[/FONT]
[FONT="]14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;[/FONT]
[FONT="]15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;[/FONT]
[FONT="]16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.[/FONT]
[FONT="]17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:
And Yes I agree "the devil made me do it" isn't an excuse. We choose to do what we do.
But can we agree that we're not fighting one other....we are in a spiritual battle personally.
[/FONT]
N
Let's say, your husband turns to God, focuses all his time and energy on God, and through that he becomes the husband you need/want. He apologizes for all the times he was a butt, and everything in your married life becomes a big chewy piece of dream pie.......will that solve ALL of your problems?
You can't change him. All you can do is focus your OWN heart on God, and let God guide you through this mess that the two of you created. Find all your worth in God, and watch your life change into....if nothing better.....into a joyful mess. God can make you so joyful, you become contagious, infectious or a trend setter, making everyone around you more joyful. Spreading God's love...God IS love after all.....will change lives, yours, your children's through you, your coworkers', your neighbors' and even your husband's.
Is it simple? You betcha! Is it easy? Rarely!
Peace!!
Isaiah 40:31
You can't change him. All you can do is focus your OWN heart on God, and let God guide you through this mess that the two of you created. Find all your worth in God, and watch your life change into....if nothing better.....into a joyful mess. God can make you so joyful, you become contagious, infectious or a trend setter, making everyone around you more joyful. Spreading God's love...God IS love after all.....will change lives, yours, your children's through you, your coworkers', your neighbors' and even your husband's.
Is it simple? You betcha! Is it easy? Rarely!
Peace!!
Isaiah 40:31
K
We have gone to Christian marriage counseling with 2 separate counsellors over the years. The reason I even mentioned the D word is because I don't know what else to do. At this point God has to intervene this. I have done everything I can think of to fix it. When I ask him to talk about our situation he tells me he's done trying and hasn't been for a while. When we went to go to counseling one of the promises was that he wouldn't threaten to leave anymore. I've gotten so used to hearing it that I walk on egg shells wondering if I'm going to upset him enough for another round and for him to throw the D word out there again. It's not what I want. We have everything to be thankful for. Life in my eyes is pretty great except for the fact that he is turned off. So at this point I am thinking I can be an example to him. Push threw go to our church. Be surrounded around church family. Feed he boys what they need. And hopefully he will want what we have. Only God knows. Thanks all for caring. Nice to have a place to vent.