How to deal with your wife when she blasts your faith

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Ariel82

Guest
#21
You know Joseph, some folks might not pick that up as sarcasm and think you were giving genuine advice.

"PC police" is a tip off if you know it stands for politically correct...
 

Jimbone

Senior Member
Aug 22, 2014
2,717
827
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#22
I have been saved for a week now, but my wife tends to say things to me like oh you are just on a holy spirit high. You'll go back to the way you were. You'll spend a few days changed and only go right back to how you were. There's other things she does too. I try to talk to her about worship songs and she shuts me up. I try to talk with her about me praying for her and other family she brushes it off. I'm trying very hard to remain faithfull but all this negative feedback is making things hard on me. Plus to prove her point I said some things in avhurtful tone to her when she upset me the other day. She said see see I knew you would fall back to your old ways. I immediately got convicted and was brought to tears I repented and said I was sorry to her. She said it doesn't make it right she never said I forgive you either. I feel like I'm in a faith battle with her and the devil. I pray that she knows and feels Jesus's love as I do, but things don't get better. I need some advice on what to do. Help please.
I'm sorry you are going through this brother, but that was what Jesus meant when He said in Matt 10:34-35

"34 “Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35 For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.

Not that that is supposed to necessarily console you, but He did warn us what following Him brings. The only thing you can do is control how you act/react and live your best to show her how He has changed you and show the miraculous change that He REALLY brings. It will be noticed and even mocked, but all you can do is continue to live that way an eventually she will have to see you have truly changed and this wasn’t just a “fad”. Either the mocking will stop or she will not be able to face truth in her life for whatever list of reasons in her past. All you can do is continue to chase Christ and do you best to show His love through you and learn all you can about truth so if/when she comes with the hard questions you can answer them the best you can.

I will keep you in my prayers brother, and that is another thing you can do too, just keep praying for her. I mean understand her position too we most of us today are raised by a world from birth to think of God and the supernatural things as complete fairy tale nonsense. God does reveal Himself to us when we want Him to, but when we don’t it seems like utter nonsense. Just keep loving her and try to keep patience brother. Good luck man and we love you.
 

notuptome

Senior Member
May 17, 2013
15,050
2,538
113
#23
I seem to recall a story about a turn of the century preacher in England I want to say it was one of the Wesley's who had a wife that hated the fact he was called to preach. She would go ahead of him into the hamlets and villages where he was to preach and spread lies and rumors about him to the people. With great anguish of soul this man labored and prayed for his wife to get right with God. I'm not certain but I think God took her out of the picture when she refused to surrender to Christ.

Love your wife and let her see the Lord in you. You can through patience win her to Christ.

For the cause of Christ
Roger
 
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Depleted

Guest
#24
I have been saved for a week now, but my wife tends to say things to me like oh you are just on a holy spirit high. You'll go back to the way you were. You'll spend a few days changed and only go right back to how you were. There's other things she does too. I try to talk to her about worship songs and she shuts me up. I try to talk with her about me praying for her and other family she brushes it off. I'm trying very hard to remain faithfull but all this negative feedback is making things hard on me. Plus to prove her point I said some things in avhurtful tone to her when she upset me the other day. She said see see I knew you would fall back to your old ways. I immediately got convicted and was brought to tears I repented and said I was sorry to her. She said it doesn't make it right she never said I forgive you either. I feel like I'm in a faith battle with her and the devil. I pray that she knows and feels Jesus's love as I do, but things don't get better. I need some advice on what to do. Help please.
Turn this around. Your wife decides to dye her hair purple and her skin pink. Are you accepting that? Wouldn't you have a word or two or ten or 50,000 to tell her exactly what you think of the new look? Sure. Would you get over it in a hurry? Nope!

Well, you just changed in such a bigger way than that. She married who you used to be, not who you are now. It really isn't her fault, so give her room to be angry. And you get to practice that love God fully and love others fully part. Also seek God because if we were ever any good at that, we would never have have needed to come to him, so he's a big part of this.

Let her get used to the new guy she just got pushed into a marriage with -- you. Don't push her to change too. She really does get full right on whether she ever accepts this. She could leave, and that's one of the few reasons God gives us for a good reason to divorce. But love her with God working through you and she'll probably end up wanting to stay. She might even want the change too. Not saying that will happen. No one knows what God will do in your case. But walk it out with God working it out in you and you will be following his Way.

The reality is we were born and raised to hate God. It is our sinful nature. The only thing that changes that is him changing us. Your wife is no different. She hates him too. She would have preferred if you dyed yourself green from head to toe. Give her God's love in hope that he will change her next. But don't force it.
 
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Depleted

Guest
#25
my best response is 'NO RESPONSE' ---- simply ignore her --- women hate to be ignored ---- the more of a relationship u have with Christ the easier it is to 'identify' people .... God has given u the power to either respond or ignore .... just like caller ID on your cell phone ...
Terrible advice! Nowhere in the Bible does it say to ignore anyone.
 
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AuntieAnt

Guest
#26
Maybe this has already been said but you probably should just shut up about it and just live it out. There are so many religious anecdotes and vocabulary that Christians pick up and say that are nauseating to people. A changed life is the evidence she needs to "hear" and that is gonna take some time. Words are cheap.
Don't put more chains on yourself like so many Christians do. That you have to be a certain way, act a certain way, speak a new language etc. Sure, there are things in your character that need to be crucified but in the end Jesus still likes you for you. In fact, relationship with Him demands that you are the real you. Not some preconceived notion of what you are supposed to be placed on you by men.
I've been a Christian since 1978 and religious anecdotes and vocabulary that Christians pick up and say are nauseating to me, too! :rolleyes:

Great advice, Sirk! "A changed life is the evidence she needs to 'hear' and that is gonna take some time."

Brother rdbseekingafterhim, rest in Christ, keep your spiritual eyes on Him, be glad in your heart that Father God has called you to him and is shining his light of truth thru you. You can be sure that the Lord will reach your wife just by you letting him love and lead you.

Ask God to show you how he sees your wife. And then look at her with the eyes of Christ, he doesn't judge or condemn nor is he disappointed in us. His love is perfect & he sees your wife the way he sees you: perfect in his sight. Sirk is right in that you can be real with Christ because your identity is him.

If your wife challenges you about your new life in Christ, it's because to her it seems impossible. The flesh doesn't understand God's ways. So it's natural she's gonna doubt, ya know? But that's ok. You just smile and say, "Yes, dear." Give her a hug or touch her shoulder lovingly and just say, "I understand, honey." Or something of that nature that tells her you hear her. And then just know in your heart God is going to reach her thru your resting in His love.

Welcome to the family of God on Christian Chat dear brother! :eek:

be+of+good+cheer.jpg
 

FlSnookman7

Senior Member
Jun 27, 2015
1,125
135
63
#27
Terrible advice! Nowhere in the Bible does it say to ignore anyone.

Luke 9:5 If people do not welcome you, leave their town and shake the dust off your feet as a testimony against them."
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,313
16,301
113
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Tennessee
#29
You're going to have to give your wife more than just a week go get to know the new you. Allow her time to see the change in you and hopefully she will begin to respond. You will need a lot of patience with her as this is quite disruptive for her. Pray for her everyday and for yourself as well to spiritually grow into the man and husband that God wants you to be.
 
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Depleted

Guest
#30
Luke 9:5 If people do not welcome you, leave their town and shake the dust off your feet as a testimony against them."
"Spouse" just became "people."

Yeah. Really? If you want to do that, feel free, but don't harness that to anyone else, because we know that's so stretched out it's going to break.
 

FlSnookman7

Senior Member
Jun 27, 2015
1,125
135
63
#31
"Spouse" just became "people."

Yeah. Really? If you want to do that, feel free, but don't harness that to anyone else, because we know that's so stretched out it's going to break.

You said "anyone" not spouse.
 

Cindy12

Senior Member
Jan 5, 2015
243
11
18
#33
Terrible advice! Nowhere in the Bible does it say to ignore anyone.
True, but it does say to tame the tongue. :) ... Always think before speaking. And women do hate silence, lol ... just ask someone who knows! Sometimes, if you are quiet, she may see that as peaceful, non argumentative, and it may help.
 
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rdbseekingafterhim

Guest
#34
I have something to report. It seems as though she is starting to come around. The other day she apologized for snapping at me. God's love kept my temper in check. I just said ok and went into the other room.

Then today she asked me. Didn't you say you were going to church? I said yes but it starts at 7 baby. She said ok. I went to church and was there for nearly 2 and a half hours. She accused me of not being at church that long. She's never seen a church go longer than a hour. I told her calmly that I told you this church is not like most churches. Usually when I'm accused I get upset and angry, but God's changes in my life kept me from snapping at her accusations. For the record I have not done anything to have have her start acting suspicious of me.
 
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Ariel82

Guest
#35
Invite her to go with you.
 
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rdbseekingafterhim

Guest
#36
I have Ariel. She is still resistant, but given time she will come around I know it.
 
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RBA238

Guest
#37
Before I came To The Lord many years ago. I was your basic everyday sinner. Drinking, gambling, Cussing, lying, it was usually all about ME. I had already gone through 2 previous marriages. (1) Wife turned out to be a Harlot..(2) My gambling addiction ended that after 8+ years, with 2 kids involved back then.
Then I met a devoted Christian Lady. We married, but I noticed she was different. She never nagged me into attending her Church, she read her Bible, prayed. And One night a voice I heard clearly in my ear, told me to volunteer to go to her Church that night..Her prayers had been answered that night, and I never returned to wallowing in the Hog Trough after that. The moral is: Prayer Works! Just beleive, and receive!
 

azlightsout

Senior Member
Apr 20, 2016
2,151
57
48
#38
Before I came To The Lord many years ago. I was your basic everyday sinner. Drinking, gambling, Cussing, lying, it was usually all about ME. I had already gone through 2 previous marriages. (1) Wife turned out to be a Harlot..(2) My gambling addiction ended that after 8+ years, with 2 kids involved back then.
Then I met a devoted Christian Lady. We married, but I noticed she was different. She never nagged me into attending her Church, she read her Bible, prayed. And One night a voice I heard clearly in my ear, told me to volunteer to go to her Church that night..Her prayers had been answered that night, and I never returned to wallowing in the Hog Trough after that. The moral is: Prayer Works! Just beleive, and receive!
God is Amazing - AMEN
 

azlightsout

Senior Member
Apr 20, 2016
2,151
57
48
#39
True, but it does say to tame the tongue. :) ... Always think before speaking. And women do hate silence, lol ... just ask someone who knows! Sometimes, if you are quiet, she may see that as peaceful, non argumentative, and it may help.
thats the point -
 

GodisGlorious

Senior Member
Jun 12, 2012
132
5
18
#40
HI,

Say to her "thankyou for blasting my faith". Then you can turn to the Lord and ask Him to use the "blasting" of your faith to help you stand strong in the blasting! For everything can be used for good for those who love God.

If the wind never blows on you how can you know if you'll stand in a storm. Cling to HIS feet and refuse to be moved. And don't eat the thoughts that would pull you away from the truth.

He will never leave or foresake is TRUTH.

Blessings brother