feeling worthless today struggleing

jenniferand2 · Jul 22, 2016

I have been feeling pretty worthless the last few days. I am disabled because of many conditions. I just feel horrible I am only 43 years old and I feel get in a place at times when i feel like I am wasting life away. I feel like i should be doing so much more with my life at this age. It is so hard sometimes to just except the fact that my body is limited to what it can do. Feeling sad I know i should just be greatfull that God loves me and I am still alive but it is so hard.

Willie-T · Jul 22, 2016

Seek out the wheelchair access places. There are hundreds.

Demi777 · Jul 22, 2016

Guess what. I want ya to remember something everytime you feel like this. God didnt make you out of some sort of scratch. He formed you in his image to represent him. Rewind that. He thinks your so precious that he formed you to represent him and plan your whole life and write you name into the book of life. Every hair on your head is counted.
Before you were born your name was already chosen. You arent worthless. This world often makes us want to believe that. But who is the ruler of the World? Satan is and he aint worth the trouble now is he? Your special enough he wants to snatch you from God and get you in a depressed state. He wants you to degrade yourself. Dont let him have that victory. Even if its Temporary he doesnt even deserve that. God bless you!

tourist · Jul 22, 2016

It is hard to be grateful when you are hurting inside and have mental anguish. You are alive but don't feel alive. You are not worthless at all and you are not alone in your suffering. I have said a prayer for God to lift the cloud of despair that you're living under. God Bless You.

Pemican · Jul 22, 2016

A few verses I have found helpful when I am down:

I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord In the land of the living. Psa 27:13

The eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous And His ears are open to their cry.
The face of the Lord is against evildoers, To cut off the memory of them from the earth.
The righteous cry, and the Lord hears And delivers them out of all their troubles.
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the Lord delivers him out of them all.
Psa 34:15-19

Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him, The help of my countenance and my God. Psa 42:11

Depleted · Jul 22, 2016

jenniferand2 said:

I have been feeling pretty worthless the last few days. I am disabled because of many conditions. I just feel horrible I am only 43 years old and I feel get in a place at times when i feel like I am wasting life away. I feel like i should be doing so much more with my life at this age. It is so hard sometimes to just except the fact that my body is limited to what it can do. Feeling sad I know i should just be grateful that God loves me and I am still alive but it is so hard.

What would you do, if you could?

FlSnookman7 · Jul 22, 2016

You are not worthless, you are a beloved child of God. I too struggle with depression and I find it helps if I can remember I am who God says I am not how I feel or how others say I am. Praying for you.

Pemican · Jul 22, 2016

Some advice I read once from a Christian psychiatrist. If you want to change your mood, change what you are doing. In other words if you have been sitting around doing nothing, get busy doing something. Activate a different part of your brain with a different activity and you change your mood.

azlightsout · Jul 22, 2016

jenniferand2 said:

I get that way too --- my medicine is going outside , turn on the radio - music , if u have to call someone and talk on the phone , ... good luck and god bless

Ugly · Jul 22, 2016

jenniferand2 said:

Yes, i have physical issues that limit me a lot as well. It is quite a frustrating feeling. When simple things you once took for granted suddenly become limited it becomes quite difficult to deal with things. And that worthless feeling can really get you. And if you are at all reliant on anyone else you can also feel like a burden to others. It's a horrible feeling and one you are not alone in.

Ariel82 · Jul 22, 2016

Pray, not just for yourself but deeply for everyone in your life. There is power in prayer and everyone needs more prayers. Then you wouldn't be doing nothing, you would be a voice for those who often forget to pray for themselves or who have walked away from God.

A_Friend_In_Christ · Jul 22, 2016

We are all praying for you. Sometimes I feel worthless and alone and in need of a friend. Sometimes good friends are so hard to find.

Keep praying to God. I pray that things will get better, amen.

God bless you.

mar09 · Jul 22, 2016

Ariel82 said:

Yes, theres this daughter of some missionaries in a rural place here, she had polio at a young age,and not go out that much. But her mother's been very supportive, and since the father is gone, their life may seem vry limited. But she does a lot of prayer ministry at home, and mostly with her hands, and tend to their gardens too wc was beside their church.

mar09 · Jul 22, 2016

jenniferand2 said:

I can feel... let me just say when we had this class in special ed, we were made to understand that ppl are 'persons w/ disabilities' and not disabled, for u are not! i am not a pwd, if i apply to the social services office, but i know i do have so many disabilities, as a discontented heart, wc is clear disobedience! I may not have read very many of ur posts, and not know what else u do... but the physical pain u mentioned previously does make one not willing or happy to move or do much. For example, a trigger thumb i got months ago could not make me do much w. that hand, even when i tried to find other remedies that might work. Besides when i tried to exercise it or do other massage, for ex., i wasnt sure if that was helping the hand or doing more harm. I am not sure if ur doctor hasnt found what cud help ur back pain ?? but while u live with that, it is hard to move.

You may be needing assistance as with some things we thought simple or took for granted, but if u have chance to walk a beach, a grassy lawn barefoot or tinkle w. dirt and plants, it may do u good. Some said gardeners live longer?? bec. of the grounding they get, for we do need to be recharged (=absorb negative ions) physically too. As some threads on the natural forum said, some 40 min grounding significantly reduced pain/inflammation in the body so if u could do some daily...

This is in the family forum, so u perhaps need other help or input from family?, but i found this vid recently when learning some on how nutritionists see things we normally dont: 4 min. Find healthier meals, and avoid what may be hurting u.
[video=youtube;XjIGYH4QJD0]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjIGYH4QJD0[/video]

Dan58 · Jul 23, 2016

jenniferand2 said:

Sometimes I feel worthless, and I have no disabilities. We can depress ourselves by not being able to do what we want, the cure is being content to do what we can. This life is just a precursor to the next life, if we secure everlasting life, we haven't wasted this one. But it ain't easy, it ain't ever easy, and I'm not so sure it was meant to be. If we could have everything and do everything we wanted, there's no reward where there's no struggle.

Depleted · Jul 23, 2016

Pemican said:

Some people are "sitting around" because it hurts too much to do things.

That's why I asked what Jennifer wants to do. I can't go out and volunteer to help, but I can help right where I am. I can't go to my local park, but I wrote a story about living to that park. I came close to being homeless in that park, so gained the insight into writing that story. (Homeless people are not allowed to live in that park, but I figured out how to get around being caught there too.) I didn't know how to write a story, but had the time to learn. I can't do all the work of a vegetable garden, but I made a perennial garden. I can't afford a bunch of money to make that garden, (because I can't work), so I bought small lavender plants and took the time to wait for them to get big and repurposed everyday items into containers.

One thing disabled people have that abled don't have is more time, because there are so many things we cannot do it adds up to time.

The hard part is to reestablish our can-do/can't-do list into "and then what." It took me years to establish my new can-do/can't do list. I never realized how helpful that is, because I've just been hit with having to revise it yet again.

Jennifer, if you would like help on the "and then what," we are here to help. But a lot of that has a great deal to do with what you would want to do, if you could. You probably can't do what you want to do, but we can help figure out other things that will help to satisfy that void and help you feel productive again.

One of my new mottos is "I can't do big things anymore, but I can help in small ways." Truth be known, my "big things" were hardly noticeable when I did do them, so "small ways" has become equally satisfying, and I am as useful as ever. The only thing that changed was the amount of people I can be useful for.

There is life with disabilities, and this said by someone who became disabled a bit later in life. I was your age when I became disabled, so I know what a shocker it is a bit later than you.

NewWine · Jul 23, 2016

Lynn is so right here. The hardest thing I had to do when dealing with a disability, was figuring out what I COULD do on a daily basis, what I could do sometimes and what I could rarely do or never do. And this list changes yearly sometimes, as I do regain some of my strength lost, and as I lose more strength in other areas. It's a struggle. I get that. But you can do this.

You are the workmanship of the Lord. HIS MASTERPIECE! You can do this and ALL THINGS with Christ. Rest in Him when you need, and use His strength. We can help hold you up to Him in prayer and encouragement.
Prayers for you....
Peace!

jenniferand2 · Jul 23, 2016

Depleted said:

I am not sure I have always wanted to be a nurse but due to my back conditions that is pretty much not possible as I can not lift people. I do have chronic fatigue and as you know lots of physical -pain so I am really unsure what I can do. A sit down job may be to much because i can not sit all the time with out being in pain. I guess I just want to do something where I can help people.

jenniferand2 · Jul 23, 2016

Thank You all for the kind words I really needed a boost yesterday.

Depleted · Jul 23, 2016

jenniferand2 said:

30% of nurses end up disabled from back problems directly linked to lifting people so often, so, yeah. Not a good idea. CFS is probably going to kill you on the job front. Do you have to get one anyway? (If on SSD, then, no you don't. But man! Isn't it hard to live on so little? Let me know if you do, because I also had a friend who had Fibro and worked. She answered the phone and did the bookkeeping for her husband's contract business, but there is work like that without the spouse needing it, so I can help you find those kinds of jobs.)

Since you're the kind of person who actually wants to help people physically, can you do that a little at a time and as a volunteer? Unscheduled is probably a better choice, since who knows when CFS is going to kick in, (other then whenever you have to do something physical), but I can think of some hands-on you might still be able to do.

-- I know there are people in nursing homes that never get visitors. Check if a local one would let you visit one of the patients. If they won't let just-any-ole person visit, find out what they would like from you before visiting. And once you have permission to do it, ask the nurses/nurse's aide for a patient that fits your type of person. (I'm a bit hard-nosed, so I do better with hard-nosed people. And, oh, a game player -- someone who likes playing board games or cards, just as long as the board game isn't chess. I'm not that good. lol) Lots of people stop by briefly to hand out cards, gifts, and encourage, but it's not quite the same as having someone visit personally. Be aware, unless you visit people in short-term units, ultimately you face the reality that the person you get to know will die. That's the part that would get to me, but then again, I don't like seeing people in pain either, so I'd make a lousy nurse. (I'd be the nurse puking while removing bags of poop or cleaning up blood too, so I'd really stink. I'd also keep going back to the doctor to tell her/him, "Do something. Do something!" lol)

If you're not the kind who can do that for old people, there is still the VA nursing homes. (Do understand, I don't consider Viet Nam era vets as old. Korean War vets are kind of old. WWII vets are old.)

If you don't want to get too attached, there is always visiting patients in hospitals or spending time with people getting dialysis or chemo. Those chairs get boring and the nerves get frayed waiting.

-- If you rather do something softer, how about reading to kids in the library? There's usually a scheduled story time at least once a week, at least. Since that CFS makes scheduling iffy, check with the librarians if you can take over for them on those days you are up to it. Impromptu sessions might be acceptable to them too, so check when the most parents bring their kids. (Mom used to take us, but when we were done, she wanted to pick some books for herself. "Booooring! Come on, Mom! Let's go home!" lol)

-- Internet opportunities. Look for charities that do most of their work online and see if they could use some help. I was desperate to be useful in the beginning, so I looked for such sites. I quickly found a site that told about other charities, so I clicked links to learn about the other charities. Most were dead links. I had time, and, like you, not in large increment. (I can't sit for more than 2 hours, which, I have to admit, I'm proud of, because before all of what we're going through hit, I thought 90 minutes was my limit. Close, but not quite.) And, I can find almost anything I want to find online, even if it takes a while. So, I contacted the owner of that site about charities by e-mail and asked if I can update their list. Guess who got excited for the offer. 300 sites listed on that site, and I contacted 90% of those who had good links, but not anymore. Some just weren't around anymore. Most changed URL. It took a while, but I handed in my list to the original sites over when I was done. (I did that 16 years ago, so if you find similar sites, don't think just because I did that, it's not a possibility for you now. I asked 10 years after they started the site, so if it's still around it probably could use more help by now.)

-- CC counts as an opportunity to be useful. Plenty of people on here who could use a friend, or could use some info for their situation that no one considered before. Information. We have a bit more time to gather info online than most, so if you see someone looking for something, feel free to look it up and see if you can find what he/she is looking for. (The Health Forum and Prayer Request forum are usually the best place to find people who can use help.) And prayer! Prayer is doing something and very useful. I can attest to that.

-- Food banks. Always looking for food and volunteers. Do you garden? Got too many eggplants? Take them over. Got too many tomatoes? Take them over. I know, bad back, so loading and unloading grocery items is out the window for you, but they are often undermanned, so who is answering the phones while the person is helping someone unload? Inventory is important too.

Some ideas. Hopefully others have more.

(And, oops. I had to go do stuff, so I don't know if I posted this or not. I have more stuff to do, so I hope I don't double post.)

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