Gambling with our lives

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Broken_bridges

Guest
#1
Im married to a man that in his work resembles gambling. We have been married for years and he has never had steady income, in fact, its gotten worse since the kids moved out. We try and live on what my job pays, weve resorted to going to loan places to borrow money before payday. His children and my children wont talk to him.
If something were to happen today and we needed money, it would be the end. He works from home. I couldnt go out and buy $20 shoes if I needed them. I dont understand why he doesnt get a paying job and do the other on the side, people look at me at work and start to ask questions.
 
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Ariel82

Guest
#2
If you have a steady job, why not learn to budget and live within your means?
 
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Broken_bridges

Guest
#3
My full time job wouldnt pay the rent in state we live in.
 
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Broken_bridges

Guest
#4
He is borrowing money from friends and people in business instead of getting a job.
 

Pilkington

Senior Member
Jan 13, 2015
640
99
28
#5
What choices do you have?

Can you down size move somewhere cheaper

Can you sell things you no longer need.

Are you Christians? yourself and you husband

Is he willing to talk and could you say how you feel.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,243
16,252
113
69
Tennessee
#6
Im married to a man that in his work resembles gambling. We have been married for years and he has never had steady income, in fact, its gotten worse since the kids moved out. We try and live on what my job pays, weve resorted to going to loan places to borrow money before payday. His children and my children wont talk to him.
If something were to happen today and we needed money, it would be the end. He works from home. I couldnt go out and buy $20 shoes if I needed them. I dont understand why he doesnt get a paying job and do the other on the side, people look at me at work and start to ask questions.
People at work may ask questions but you are under no obligation to answer them. I pray that God motivates your husband to do the right thing and start to contribute financially instead of consuming scarce finite resources.
 
Dec 19, 2009
27,513
128
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#7
Im married to a man that in his work resembles gambling. We have been married for years and he has never had steady income, in fact, its gotten worse since the kids moved out. We try and live on what my job pays, weve resorted to going to loan places to borrow money before payday. His children and my children wont talk to him.
If something were to happen today and we needed money, it would be the end. He works from home. I couldnt go out and buy $20 shoes if I needed them. I dont understand why he doesnt get a paying job and do the other on the side, people look at me at work and start to ask questions.
I don't see any reason you should support him financially. Perhaps you should separate from him and let him carry his own weight.
 
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BurlyCarl

Guest
#8
Pray Pray, cray cray.

If he is irresponsible with the finances. Then you need to take that away from him.

You are harboring his actions. No one will ever do to you. What you invite them to do. Their is no reason why both of you can not work two jobs. If he is not able to provide or he is Gambling the money away. Then you need to talk to him. Not Listening? take away the check book. Communicate and Explain that you need help with the bills and he needs to step up. Those payday loan places charge up to 140% interest. You should never ever get a loan from them. I would rather starve.

Communicate!

Do you have a plan?

Is he involved in what the finances are?

Never ever wait for someone to take care of you. You are responsible for your own happiness.

Time to step up or step out.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,862
9,581
113
#9
Let's call this for what it is. He's a lazy bum who enjoys depending on others and letting them fund his way in life. :/ He's done this for years and he ain't gonna stop anytime soon. Stop enabling him and leave..
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,862
9,581
113
#10
He won't get a paying job, because he's content to rely on other people for his income. And the fact that his own children won't even speak to him speaks volumes about how THEY feel about him. :(
 

Demi777

Senior Member
Oct 13, 2014
6,877
1,949
113
Germany
#11
Let's call this for what it is. He's a lazy bum who enjoys depending on others and letting them fund his way in life. :/ He's done this for years and he ain't gonna stop anytime soon. Stop enabling him and leave..
Yep or kick him on the street that he HAS TO get his priorities straight.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,862
9,581
113
#12
Yep or kick him on the street that he HAS TO get his priorities straight.
Nah, he'd probably panhandle on the street, sleep at a shelter and eat meals at soup kitchens. So he'd still somewhat have money, a bed and food in his belly..
 

Demi777

Senior Member
Oct 13, 2014
6,877
1,949
113
Germany
#13
Nah, he'd probably panhandle on the street, sleep at a shelter and eat meals at soup kitchens. So he'd still somewhat have money, a bed and food in his belly..
Maybe but it could be he gets to the wrog ppl and gets his waterloo. some day even friends get tired of being used
 

Angela53510

Senior Member
Jan 24, 2011
11,780
2,939
113
#14
You have a big problem here with this lazy, spoiled man!

People here have given good advice, but I want to add something important.You don't mention whether you are a Christian, whether your husband is a Christian.

The essence of the problem is really - are you walking with God? What does God say about men who won't support their families.

"But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has [FONT=Helvetica Neue, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." 1Tim. 5:8[/FONT]

[FONT=Helvetica Neue, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]The Bible is clear that a man who does not support his family is an unbeliever! So you need to start praying and asking God which way to go. Maybe there is hope for a radical change in your husband. With God, nothing is impossible. Or maybe God sees him as someone with a "seared conscience" and knows he will not change.

[/FONT][FONT=Helvetica Neue, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]"[/FONT]Now the Spirit expressly says that in later times some will depart from the faith by devoting themselves to deceitful spirits and teachings of demons, 2 through the insincerity of liars whose consciences are seared," 1 Tim. 4:1-2

Don't just pray, but start reading the Bible systematically. God will reveal to you in its pages his love, mercy and grace. He will also reveal that God is a God of Justice, and he has expectations of his children.

Right now, you are all about mercy. That is not a bad thing unless it comes from a place of codependence. But mercy needs justice, and right now, the way you are living is unjust, unfair, in other words.

I know these days the wife must work. I certainly had to work, and I have always brought in my share of our collective income. But when a man is allowed to get away without working, but also borrowing from so many people who are also enabling your husband, it is time to realize God wants you to receive justice, in the form he provides.
 
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Broken_bridges

Guest
#15
What choices do you have?

Can you down size move somewhere cheaper

Can you sell things you no longer need.

Are you Christians? yourself and you husband

Is he willing to talk and could you say how you feel.
Well we are already living in a ran down apt with roaches and rats. We sold evrrything years ago to pay for medical issues so we have nothing to sell. Yes we are Christians.
 
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Broken_bridges

Guest
#16
Pray Pray, cray cray.

If he is irresponsible with the finances. Then you need to take that away from him.

You are harboring his actions. No one will ever do to you. What you invite them to do. Their is no reason why both of you can not work two jobs. If he is not able to provide or he is Gambling the money away. Then you need to talk to him. Not Listening? take away the check book. Communicate and Explain that you need help with the bills and he needs to step up. Those payday loan places charge up to 140% interest. You should never ever get a loan from them. I would rather starve.

Communicate!

Do you have a plan?

Is he involved in what the finances are?

Never ever wait for someone to take care of you. You are responsible for your own happiness.

Time to step up or step out.
God knows i pray! I know hed see
Me work a full and a part time job at the same time because i have on two seperate occssions.
 
Feb 28, 2016
11,311
2,972
113
#17
sometimes people's definitions of what or who they think is a 'Christian' belongs to
the great deceiver and they have fallen for his lies,,.,.the KEY is ALWAYS in the fruit...
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#18
Broken, it sounds like a horrible situation. Is there any possibility that you could stay with one of your kid's until you can find a place of your own? Or at this point even a woman's shelter would offer you more hope than this situation. Does he gamble or is he a drug addict? I think you need to pray and focus on getting out of there.
 
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Depleted

Guest
#19
Im married to a man that in his work resembles gambling. We have been married for years and he has never had steady income, in fact, its gotten worse since the kids moved out. We try and live on what my job pays, weve resorted to going to loan places to borrow money before payday. His children and my children wont talk to him.
If something were to happen today and we needed money, it would be the end. He works from home. I couldnt go out and buy $20 shoes if I needed them. I dont understand why he doesnt get a paying job and do the other on the side, people look at me at work and start to ask questions.
Obvious questions: Why did you marry him?

This has been going on long enough that your kids are gone, so why is it bothering you now?