Too late to save this marriage?

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Kaydee

Guest
#1
#1
I'm sort of in limbo here, trying to find the words to share my situation. I guess I'm still in shock, maybe, or just trying to accept the reality that my husband of eight years has filed for a divorce. He already has another woman in his life, so it is probably too late to seek restoration of our marriage. I did state in my answer to his divorce petition that I would be interested in working towards restoring our marriage. This was the third marriage for both of us...I still feel married. How long will it be before I will feel unmarried??? I do still love him. I'm trying to let go and leave him in God's hands to deal with. I know I"m leaving a lot of information out here....and I feel like I'm rambling a bit...sorry.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#2
Mar 13, 2014
41,313
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Tennessee
#2
It seems to me that your husband doesn't want you in his life anymore. He already has another woman in in life and he isn't even divorced yet. I know that you still love him but you only have 8 years of your life invested in this marriage and not most of your adult life. I believe that it would be best to simply cut your losses and move forward without him. You are right in letting go and giving this to God. Maybe He can make some sense of this mess and give you clarity in how to proceed.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#3
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#3
A one-sided marriage cannot possibly survive. He has filed for divorce and he already has another woman. In all sense of the word, you are unmarried. The divorce will finalize that fact. The sooner you let go and accept that the marriage is over, the better off you will be. God already has something better in mind for you. And it's not with this man.
 
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Oscar_the_bald

Guest
#4
#4
As a practical matter, Jesus says divorce is not allowed....except for the reason of adultery. So from that standpoint, you're in the clear. And yes, being suddenly separated from the one you love sucks rocks. It makes no sense to still love someone who obviously doesn't love you back, but love makes no sense most of the time. But try not to look at this as an opportunity failed. Try to look at it as an opportunity presented to you. You don't have to try to see things in this way now, or tomorrow, or next week. But in time, perhaps you'll see that this was just one of life's trials, and you will have had the strength and faith to survive, and to thrive, in the face of it. I'll probably repeat this over and over again on this site, but I like saying it....when you hit rock bottom, God is the rock at the bottom.

Seek peace, and I have every confidence you'll find it. And don't stray too far from this site. You're among friends here :)
 
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Man4TheWord

Guest
#5
#5
...kinda like they said, if he has been sexually active with someone else, that has broken the covenant. This doesn't mean you can't forgive and potentially reconcile, but you are scripturally free if he has. On the other hand one thing Christian's really fail to understand, is that that little piece of paper from the judge doesn't mean jack. If there are no biblical grounds...Fornication....than the covenant is still active and the enemy can have rights in our lives based on us ignoring Jesus' Word and doing our own thing....cause that has always worked so well for us in the past....? What ever you do sister, don't hold any unforgiveness towards him. That means in the natural and spiritual realm release any and all debts to you. And God will bless you! Also I, for some reason was wondering, what were the circumstances of your all's previous divorce?
 
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BurlyCarl

Guest
#6
#6
Sorry to hear. Sounds like he has already made his choice. I don't know the full story. Its very basic. Did you cheat or leave? He had another woman and sounds like he has set up for Adultery and broken the promise. How long is it going to take? As long as it needs to. Or as long as it needs to for you to listen or lesson from God. Understand that he does not love you. I know that you do, take the rose colored glasses off. Don't spend a long time on living in the negative or a hope that things will change. He served you divorce papers. He is disrespecting you by living or being with another. I see a trend also. 3rd marriage. Yes you will look back and say "Wow I really wasted a lot of time." It will drive you nuts if you dwell on it. Besides he is out gallivanting with someone else. Love yourself enough to not be disrespected. No one will ever do to you. What you don't invite them to do. Look at it from all angles of the Christian teaching stand point. You are still married, served divorce papers, he has a girlfriend already. Biblically "unless you cheated on him" he has shot himself in the foot. I would seek counseling if you can not personally resolve to get beyond him.

I know personally if someone cheat on me. I am done. Their is no seconds. I am not second fiddle. I value myself and I walk.
 
Awakened

Awakened

Senior Member
#7
Dec 4, 2016
127
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#7
I'll start by saying , divorce is not Yahuahs will and* its never too late to save a marriage, if you can forgive.* Yahuah tells us to forgive and that can be difficult.

*Matthew 6:15 (NIV)
15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins

I would start by putting God first in my life and seeking him.* Pray for your husband to see his sin. You've both been married three times, it seems like you are living in the flesh. I'm am not judging you because we all fall away and are tempted and the body is weak.

JAMES 1:14
New American Standard Bible
But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust.
 
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Depleted

Guest
#8
#8
Awakened said:
I'll start by saying , divorce is not Yahuahs will and* its never too late to save a marriage, if you can forgive.* Yahuah tells us to forgive and that can be difficult.

*Matthew 6:15 (NIV)
15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins

I would start by putting God first in my life and seeking him.* Pray for your husband to see his sin. You've both been married three times, it seems like you are living in the flesh. I'm am not judging you because we all fall away and are tempted and the body is weak.

JAMES 1:14
New American Standard Bible
But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust.
Click to expand...
Rookie mistake. (We all do it.) This is from a year and a half ago, and OP left the site shortly after. (The date of posts is below the name of post and name of poster.)
 
Awakened

Awakened

Senior Member
#9
Dec 4, 2016
127
7
18
#9
Thanks. Maybe there are others who are experiencing the same and would like to be uplifted. ☺
 
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presidente

Senior Member
#10
May 29, 2013
9,084
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#10
If he divorces you, live celibate and stay 'single'.
 
MessageOfTheCross

MessageOfTheCross

Senior Member
#11
Sep 3, 2016
6,337
527
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#11
Who is there who speaks and it happens, unless the Lord has ordained it? Lamentations 3:37

The LORD has prepared His throne in the heavens; and His kingdom rules over all. Psalm 103:19 NKJV

Remember, we walk by faith and not by sight. Cry out to the LORD and ask Him to fight for you. He promise He would (Exodus 14:14).
 
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NicoleWilliams

Guest
#12
#12
I can only imagine what you’re going through – I wish I could hug you right now. I think it would be a good idea if you can seek counseling regarding the struggles in your marriage. A good Christian counselor may help you answer some of the questions for you. I am praying for you, asking God to bring healing and hope to your situation. Remember, God loves and cares for you deeply. Be strong, okay? Hugs!
 
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AmmaBev

Guest
#13
#13
It would be a good thing to reconcile with your husband. Of course you feel married as you have been for 8 yrs and a bonding has taken place. Here's an article that may help you and a phone number of Focus on Family: Restoring a Marriage after Infidelity Keep believing God, AmmaBev
 
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workinprogress

Guest
#14
#14
Im so sorry to hear your husband filed for divorce :( I wish I had some advice, all I can do is send you a hug.
 
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LizaK

Guest
#15
#15
Hey there! I know it's a difficult time for you there. But stay strong. Everything will fall right. Trust God.
 
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