Any thoughts on this? (Church related)

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LuLuFaith

Guest
#1
#1
Me & hubby belong to a United Baptist Church almost 11 yrs now, He is Sunday School Superintendent.
We have 5 kids, 3 still at home. Ages 4,10, & 12. Our church only has service on Sundays & sometimes singing's on Saturday.

They are very few children at our church. I suggested to my hubby maybe we should go to another church during the week, on Wednesday night a bible study, it's a Southern Baptist church with lots of children & youth programs. We live in a very small town, not many churches.

He isn't sure how our home church would react if we started going there on Wednesday nights... I have prayed about this my heart is leading me in this direction... but i am still unsure.

Do you have any thoughts on this?? Has anyone else had this problem?
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#2
#2
LuLuFaith said:
Me & hubby belong to a United Baptist Church almost 11 yrs now, He is Sunday School Superintendent.
We have 5 kids, 3 still at home. Ages 4,10, & 12. Our church only has service on Sundays & sometimes singing's on Saturday.

They are very few children at our church. I suggested to my hubby maybe we should go to another church during the week, on Wednesday night a bible study, it's a Southern Baptist church with lots of children & youth programs. We live in a very small town, not many churches.

He isn't sure how our home church would react if we started going there on Wednesday nights... I have prayed about this my heart is leading me in this direction... but i am still unsure.

Do you have any thoughts on this?? Has anyone else had this problem?
Click to expand...
Well, if I don't know something that affects my decision, I tend to go find out. Any particular reason he can't ask whoever he is worried about what he/she/they would think of this action?

We had something similar happen. We first met in a nondenom church, got married, kept going, and then one of their traveling hierarchy made the mistake of giving a list of his favorite books out when he came to talk. Hubby grabbed one, started reading, within a couple of years we became reformed, and, we were disconcerted with the sermons preached. We still loved the people and the fellowship, so we'd go every week, sit in the back of the church, pray and sing with everyone, and when the sermon came along we quietly left.

A sister told us she thought we were rude. So we took that as a sign it was time to go. Without ever hearing how someone felt about it, we would never have left.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#3
#3
I see no problem with it. I once went to both a baptist church and an AoG church. I was even in leadership positions in both youth groups.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#4
Mar 13, 2014
41,313
16,301
113
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Tennessee
#4
I don't really see how your home church would have any objection to attending Wednesday night bible studies in another Baptist church. If they do you might want to consider changing churches to one that meets the spiritual needs of your family.
 
Willie-T

Willie-T

Banned
#5
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
0
#5
tourist said:
I don't really see how your home church would have any objection to attending Wednesday night bible studies in another Baptist church. If they do you might want to consider changing churches to one that meets the spiritual needs of your family.
Click to expand...
I agree. A number of people in our church attend elsewhere, too. But, we are a bit of a different church. We share our building with a Presbyterian congregation, and we team with Catholics, Jews, and a lot of other regular Protestants for many of our outreach programs.
 
karen0123

karen0123

Senior Member
#6
Dec 14, 2011
262
91
28
#6
LuLuFaith said:
Me & hubby belong to a United Baptist Church almost 11 yrs now, He is Sunday School Superintendent.
We have 5 kids, 3 still at home. Ages 4,10, & 12. Our church only has service on Sundays & sometimes singing's on Saturday.

They are very few children at our church. I suggested to my hubby maybe we should go to another church during the week, on Wednesday night a bible study, it's a Southern Baptist church with lots of children & youth programs. We live in a very small town, not many churches.

He isn't sure how our home church would react if we started going there on Wednesday nights... I have prayed about this my heart is leading me in this direction... but i am still unsure.

Do you have any thoughts on this?? Has anyone else had this problem?
Click to expand...



Just an idea, put an advert in local shops a business cards, start a holy bible study.One week you have a bible study in the house you live, and the next week you have the bible study at another person house so on and that.

In addition, you lead and God will help you, also ask the church you got to for help. Then you and your group could do other things latter on, Collect money from the local people and help feed those that are hungry etc.I ask other christians to pray to God for her, I will pray for you.

 
santuzza

santuzza

Senior Member
#7
Feb 12, 2013
1,609
38
48
#7
I agree that there is absolutely nothing wrong with going to the other church on Wednesdays, but has your home church tried having a Wednesday evening program? Do some outreach -- have a kids program like AWANA. I don't know how small your home church is, but there is no reason why you can't do something at your own church -- especially if you make it an outreach program. JMO
 
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LuLuFaith

Guest
#8
#8
santuzza said:
I agree that there is absolutely nothing wrong with going to the other church on Wednesdays, but has your home church tried having a Wednesday evening program? Do some outreach -- have a kids program like AWANA. I don't know how small your home church is, but there is no reason why you can't do something at your own church -- especially if you make it an outreach program. JMO
Click to expand...
Thank you for your comment... Our church use to have church on Saturday nights but said not enough people came so the canceled it. Our church is a small country church, it has about 27-30 regular members, maybe 6-7 kids, almost all of them are family related to us. .. On singing nights (when singers from other churches come) they have around 100-150... It is not through any associations, they use to be, but said it was unneeded.
 
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LuLuFaith

Guest
#9
#9
tourist said:
I don't really see how your home church would have any objection to attending Wednesday night bible studies in another Baptist church. If they do you might want to consider changing churches to one that meets the spiritual needs of your family.
Click to expand...
This is exactly what i told my hubby.
 
L

LuLuFaith

Guest
#10
#10
Depleted said:
Well, if I don't know something that affects my decision, I tend to go find out. Any particular reason he can't ask whoever he is worried about what he/she/they would think of this action?

We had something similar happen. We first met in a nondenom church, got married, kept going, and then one of their traveling hierarchy made the mistake of giving a list of his favorite books out when he came to talk. Hubby grabbed one, started reading, within a couple of years we became reformed, and, we were disconcerted with the sermons preached. We still loved the people and the fellowship, so we'd go every week, sit in the back of the church, pray and sing with everyone, and when the sermon came along we quietly left.

A sister told us she thought we were rude. So we took that as a sign it was time to go. Without ever hearing how someone felt about it, we would never have left.
Click to expand...
I think it may be, we are related to most of them & good friends, our church has been through alot, we lost Pastors & members due to business handled the wrong way, because everyone is afraid of hurting someones feelings. I have had many signs to leave... as you have i sit in the back, love the singing, fellowship, but the bible study/preaching is lacking people are afraid to ask questions or answer them afraid feelings will get hurt. I feel kinda disconnected, I pray about it, but hubby says it is Satan, that i need to check myself & get the sin out of my life.... he is set in his ways...
 
A

Ariel82

Guest
#11
#11
Wow...it's Satan.....not sure what I would do if my hubby said that.

Maybe pray together?

I would take my kids to attend the children program and just Bible study by myself while they attended. Maybe your husband would be okay with that?

If you have 100 folks for concerts....why don't they come for church?

Someone stole money? How has the leadership and policy changed to make sure it doesn't happen again?

Just questions to think about. No need to answer.

If you want your home church to grow, the leadership must establish trust and show how things are not the same/ not corrupt.
 
P

prodigal

Guest
#12
#12
LuLuFaith said:
I think it may be, we are related to most of them & good friends, our church has been through alot, we lost Pastors & members due to business handled the wrong way, because everyone is afraid of hurting someones feelings. I have had many signs to leave... as you have i sit in the back, love the singing, fellowship, but the bible study/preaching is lacking people are afraid to ask questions or answer them afraid feelings will get hurt. I feel kinda disconnected, I pray about it, but hubby says it is Satan, that i need to check myself & get the sin out of my life.... he is set in his ways...
Click to expand...
personally, having travelled many so called dangerous parts of the world, i trust God for having control of my instincts. After many years i have seen that these instincts have kept me safe, in what otherwise could have been life threatening situations.. rather than upset your husband, maybe you could join a study group (l.e..womans study group), and address it that way to your husband and if that happens to be in another church, so be it..so he see's it as advancing your walk with God in your own particular way, and not that you feel the present fellowship is generally lacking. More that it is directed at a broader spectrum of people

blessings
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#13
#13
LuLuFaith said:
I think it may be, we are related to most of them & good friends, our church has been through alot, we lost Pastors & members due to business handled the wrong way, because everyone is afraid of hurting someones feelings. I have had many signs to leave... as you have i sit in the back, love the singing, fellowship, but the bible study/preaching is lacking people are afraid to ask questions or answer them afraid feelings will get hurt. I feel kinda disconnected, I pray about it, but hubby says it is Satan, that i need to check myself & get the sin out of my life.... he is set in his ways...
Click to expand...
I made a promise to hubby on our wedding day. "Your people are my people." He is the ultimate decider of which church we go to, (back when we could go), so if he said we stay, that would end it with me. I'd stay.

BUT he doesn't get that until he hears me first. I'd have to ask him in what way are my concerns from Satan, how do I check them, and what sin does he see in my life.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#14
#14
prodigal said:
personally, having travelled many so called dangerous parts of the world, i trust God for having control of my instincts. After many years i have seen that these instincts have kept me safe, in what otherwise could have been life threatening situations.. rather than upset your husband, maybe you could join a study group (l.e..womans study group), and address it that way to your husband and if that happens to be in another church, so be it..so he see's it as advancing your walk with God in your own particular way, and not that you feel the present fellowship is generally lacking. More that it is directed at a broader spectrum of people

blessings
Click to expand...
But how does going to a woman's meeting in another church address her first concern about so few kids for her kids in their church?
 
Willie-T

Willie-T

Banned
#15
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
0
#15
LuLuFaith said:
I think it may be, we are related to most of them & good friends, our church has been through alot, we lost Pastors & members due to business handled the wrong way, because everyone is afraid of hurting someones feelings. I have had many signs to leave... as you have i sit in the back, love the singing, fellowship, but the bible study/preaching is lacking people are afraid to ask questions or answer them afraid feelings will get hurt. I feel kinda disconnected, I pray about it, but hubby says it is Satan, that i need to check myself & get the sin out of my life.... he is set in his ways...
Click to expand...
WOW !!!!!
IMHO he needs to very quickly get himself to another church. When you start thinking that God only visits your esoteric building, you had better start looking at yourself very carefully................. That's the same thinking the Pharisees had.
 
resurrection33

resurrection33

Banned
#16
Dec 19, 2009
27,513
128
0
71
#16
LuLuFaith said:
Me & hubby belong to a United Baptist Church almost 11 yrs now, He is Sunday School Superintendent.
We have 5 kids, 3 still at home. Ages 4,10, & 12. Our church only has service on Sundays & sometimes singing's on Saturday.

They are very few children at our church. I suggested to my hubby maybe we should go to another church during the week, on Wednesday night a bible study, it's a Southern Baptist church with lots of children & youth programs. We live in a very small town, not many churches.

He isn't sure how our home church would react if we started going there on Wednesday nights... I have prayed about this my heart is leading me in this direction... but i am still unsure.

Do you have any thoughts on this?? Has anyone else had this problem?
Click to expand...
There's nothing wrong with participating in a second church. Or you could start a Bible study in your own church, if they wil let you.
 
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LuLuFaith

Guest
#17
#17
Ariel82 said:
Wow...it's Satan.....not sure what I would do if my hubby said that.

Maybe pray together?

I would take my kids to attend the children program and just Bible study by myself while they attended. Maybe your husband would be okay with that?

If you have 100 folks for concerts....why don't they come for church?

Someone stole money? How has the leadership and policy changed to make sure it doesn't happen again?

Just questions to think about. No need to answer.

If you want your home church to grow, the leadership must establish trust and show how things are not the same/ not corrupt.
Click to expand...
We rarely pray together, i think i may take them without him, they are very interested in going also....

They just come for the signings, our church invites big singing groups, most people that come belong to other churches, when we get new people, they slowly stop coming.

Yes in our church a church treasurer who was a deacon took some money out of the church fund without asking or telling anyone he just put it in his pocket. Another church member caught him... but all the deacans & pastor kept it secret... it broke our church up when it did come out.. they took his deacon ship and put him under watch... Well after everyone & the Pastor left our church... a short few stayed..

The church voted & they gave the man back his deaconship & made him treasurer again. I was totally against it. We didnt have a Pastor for years, & when we did, if the church didn't approve they found fault with him & sent him out the door. Same with new members if certain church members didn't like them, they would make them mad & they'd leave.

We were through the baptist association, but church said we didn't need it anymore so they withdrew from it.

I am not drawn to our church anymore, When new preachers come the spirit is high.... I've talked with hubby, but he says he isn't leaving. He says i need to pray more, that i have a chip on my shoulder over what has happened in the past, i need to get over it...
The eldest deacons & wives tend to run the church, but hubby is in denial, I've prayed for God to open his eyes.
 
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LuLuFaith

Guest
#18
#18
resurrection33 said:
There's nothing wrong with participating in a second church. Or you could start a Bible study in your own church, if they wil let you.
Click to expand...
I agree with you....
I brought this to him once, My hubby would not allow me to ask the church for women's bible study, because it has been tried before with other members & failed.
 
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LuLuFaith

Guest
#19
#19
Willie-T said:
WOW !!!!!
IMHO he needs to very quickly get himself to another church. When you start thinking that God only visits your esoteric building, you had better start looking at yourself very carefully................. That's the same thinking the Pharisees had.
Click to expand...
I agree with you... Jesus said wherever 2 or 3 are gathered in my name, there am I in the midst of them.

I have been doing a lot of soul searching. i have been praying for me & him.... it's like him & deacons are in a secret club... if i miss church & ask him what went on.. he says i should have been there.

Me & hubby can't study bible together... his views are very different than mine, Our bible study gets loud & turns into arguing. It's like ill share my views & he always tries to prove me wrong.... So i bible study alone or with the kids or on the internet.

My soul is yearning for a good bible studying church, Where the spirit is high, & my kids want to go....at the moment I am having to make them go to church to our church, because they dont want to go.

I see other churches growing, but ours isn't. It's the same, it doesn't change. same people, same message.
 
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LuLuFaith

Guest
#20
#20
Willie-T said:
I agree. A number of people in our church attend elsewhere, too. But, we are a bit of a different church. We share our building with a Presbyterian congregation, and we team with Catholics, Jews, and a lot of other regular Protestants for many of our outreach programs.
Click to expand...
I think that is great you visit other churches...

We are members of the Baptist faith, if we visit a Church of God, Catholic or any other church denomination... like mix the faith... it would be brought before the church counsel or the deacons would talk with us.... The church members would probably get offended..

I think & believe in my heart that any & every preaching, if it is from God Is good. If it is holding on to the words of the bible, & proclaiming Jesus as our Lord & Savior....... No matter what the denomination is.
 
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