D
While everyone is assuming they know the whole story because a spouse comes on here to tell how bad their marriage is, I'd like to tell two different stories of real people I know/knew from different sides. One you may recognize. I will tell them as each person experienced it. As you read them, please think of what response you would give each spouse.
Couple One
Her Story
We married after our daughter was born. It was lonely at first, because he was a sailor and away for two years. Our daughter was one before he came home. When he did come home, he didn't have a job, so the first job he got was working for a heating outfit down the street. We didn't even have a car, so I couldn't go anywhere, constantly stuck at home with just the baby. I was the one responsible for paying the bills and he never made enough.
For the first year he was working, he worked full time and then went to school full time. If it wasn't for the military money he received, we wouldn't have had enough food for our baby. And then once he learned the job, he often had to work overtime, sometimes for days on end. He often couldn't come home for Thanksgiving, Christmas or New Years. Our daughter hardly ever saw her Daddy. Money was still so tight that the only way we got a vacuum cleaner was me asking for one from people at our church.
After our son was born, I was hospitalized for months. He rarely came to visit, and I was so lonely. I needed to express my creativity. I hung out with fellow writers we knew through church, and he got jealous. So jealous he left me. We fought for our marriage and he was about to return home again, but he dropped off our daughter, yelled at me, and left instead. I'm heartbroken and lonely. Should I keep fighting for out marriage or leave him?
His Story
We had dated throughout high school. When I was 17, I joined the Navy and was sent out on a ship. We wrote all the time, and when the mail came in when we were in Spain, she told me she was pregnant from her boss. She was 16. He was a married man. She was frantic, and I wanted to take care of her, so I married her. She had a baby girl, my daughter, and we named her after me. The wedding and honeymoon were over a weekend in Jacksonville and then I had to be flown back to the ship. The only time I saw them was when the ship returned to port, my hometown. Everything from my pay but $5 was sent to her each month. I had a banking service on ship, so I could turn that $5 into enough to live on.
But a year later, I was out of the service, except for every fourth weekend, and I had to found a job doing heating work as an apprentice. At first all they had me do was sweep the floor so money was tight. That was okay, we didn't need a car. We lived in the city, so could get anywhere by bus. I studied HVAC at night for 18 months, so I was exhausted at night. It was unfair to her, but it's what paid our bills.
She was great with fixing up old furniture, and could do so well with my money. I was making great money working overtime, but she really wanted a house. I missed my daughter, but every weekend, since my wife liked to sleep in, my daughter and I would go out for breakfast together and connect. She saved enough for a downpayment thanks to the VA money for a mortgage. The house only had two bedrooms, and we were going to have our first child together, so I rmodeled the garage into a bedroom, bathroom and dinning room on weekends I wasn't working and late into the night. The only help I got was from my buddy who would tell me what to do next.
At the end of the pregnancy the baby had pushed on her gall bladder so badly she needed it out. That was in the days when they cut an 8" scare down her belly. She hurt so much and was in the hospital for 2 weeks. It was hard talking care of a toddler and a baby, working full time, and visiting her, but i visited, every time I could find someone who could watch the kids. I was exhausted. When she came home, she was different -- moody. It didn't take long before I realized she was taking percocet. I told that doctor she was addicted to percocet before. They put her into the mental hospital to detox. More weeks running around like a crazy man, working all those hours and seeing the kids. By that time I dropped on off at my brother's house and the other one with her sister.
Finally she came home, but she was still different. Noe I think it was bipolar, but no one diagnosed that. I just didn't know who I was coming home too. Good thing we were Christians by then. Bad thing though, and I didn't know it until it was too late, we had a cult leader as a pastor. Some of his counsel was nuts, but he was a pastor, and who doesn't trust pastors? No sex for nine long months.
Sometimes I'd come home and she was nice and very homey. She is great with the house. Other nights she was weird. She'd act like a little girl coming on to me. But the knife came out and she charged me with ti. I grabbed her arms, and putt her off the ground, drag her to a sofa or bed and hold her down util she calmed down and drop the knife. The day I woke up and she laid next to be with a one-blade razor on her necklace and ask me hoe great it was to be a live, I go what she meant. She was put in the mental institute agaian. As they pushed the wheelchair with a smiling face. She was ups to something. I told them she had a bottle of pills in her had and would kill herself. The aid, "This sweet little lady? I ripped the pills out of her hand, and then I told them about the razor blade necklace. They didn't believe that either, so I ripped it off he neck. Then they believed me.
I visited the kids every night. We got back together when she returned home. It didn't take long for things to go to normal, but I still didn't know who I was coming home to. She was paraded out a bunch of demons at church one sunday. She changed to the good, until the night I found one of my friends from church e\was naked in bed with hoer. The pastor said to feto out for a week, and I did, but the Bible told me to forgive her and go back with her. I had our daughter who told what Kemy was doing in our house with Mommy. That was when it was over.
Which story do you believe?
(I'll do the other one tomorrow.)
Couple One
Her Story
We married after our daughter was born. It was lonely at first, because he was a sailor and away for two years. Our daughter was one before he came home. When he did come home, he didn't have a job, so the first job he got was working for a heating outfit down the street. We didn't even have a car, so I couldn't go anywhere, constantly stuck at home with just the baby. I was the one responsible for paying the bills and he never made enough.
For the first year he was working, he worked full time and then went to school full time. If it wasn't for the military money he received, we wouldn't have had enough food for our baby. And then once he learned the job, he often had to work overtime, sometimes for days on end. He often couldn't come home for Thanksgiving, Christmas or New Years. Our daughter hardly ever saw her Daddy. Money was still so tight that the only way we got a vacuum cleaner was me asking for one from people at our church.
After our son was born, I was hospitalized for months. He rarely came to visit, and I was so lonely. I needed to express my creativity. I hung out with fellow writers we knew through church, and he got jealous. So jealous he left me. We fought for our marriage and he was about to return home again, but he dropped off our daughter, yelled at me, and left instead. I'm heartbroken and lonely. Should I keep fighting for out marriage or leave him?
His Story
We had dated throughout high school. When I was 17, I joined the Navy and was sent out on a ship. We wrote all the time, and when the mail came in when we were in Spain, she told me she was pregnant from her boss. She was 16. He was a married man. She was frantic, and I wanted to take care of her, so I married her. She had a baby girl, my daughter, and we named her after me. The wedding and honeymoon were over a weekend in Jacksonville and then I had to be flown back to the ship. The only time I saw them was when the ship returned to port, my hometown. Everything from my pay but $5 was sent to her each month. I had a banking service on ship, so I could turn that $5 into enough to live on.
But a year later, I was out of the service, except for every fourth weekend, and I had to found a job doing heating work as an apprentice. At first all they had me do was sweep the floor so money was tight. That was okay, we didn't need a car. We lived in the city, so could get anywhere by bus. I studied HVAC at night for 18 months, so I was exhausted at night. It was unfair to her, but it's what paid our bills.
She was great with fixing up old furniture, and could do so well with my money. I was making great money working overtime, but she really wanted a house. I missed my daughter, but every weekend, since my wife liked to sleep in, my daughter and I would go out for breakfast together and connect. She saved enough for a downpayment thanks to the VA money for a mortgage. The house only had two bedrooms, and we were going to have our first child together, so I rmodeled the garage into a bedroom, bathroom and dinning room on weekends I wasn't working and late into the night. The only help I got was from my buddy who would tell me what to do next.
At the end of the pregnancy the baby had pushed on her gall bladder so badly she needed it out. That was in the days when they cut an 8" scare down her belly. She hurt so much and was in the hospital for 2 weeks. It was hard talking care of a toddler and a baby, working full time, and visiting her, but i visited, every time I could find someone who could watch the kids. I was exhausted. When she came home, she was different -- moody. It didn't take long before I realized she was taking percocet. I told that doctor she was addicted to percocet before. They put her into the mental hospital to detox. More weeks running around like a crazy man, working all those hours and seeing the kids. By that time I dropped on off at my brother's house and the other one with her sister.
Finally she came home, but she was still different. Noe I think it was bipolar, but no one diagnosed that. I just didn't know who I was coming home too. Good thing we were Christians by then. Bad thing though, and I didn't know it until it was too late, we had a cult leader as a pastor. Some of his counsel was nuts, but he was a pastor, and who doesn't trust pastors? No sex for nine long months.
Sometimes I'd come home and she was nice and very homey. She is great with the house. Other nights she was weird. She'd act like a little girl coming on to me. But the knife came out and she charged me with ti. I grabbed her arms, and putt her off the ground, drag her to a sofa or bed and hold her down util she calmed down and drop the knife. The day I woke up and she laid next to be with a one-blade razor on her necklace and ask me hoe great it was to be a live, I go what she meant. She was put in the mental institute agaian. As they pushed the wheelchair with a smiling face. She was ups to something. I told them she had a bottle of pills in her had and would kill herself. The aid, "This sweet little lady? I ripped the pills out of her hand, and then I told them about the razor blade necklace. They didn't believe that either, so I ripped it off he neck. Then they believed me.
I visited the kids every night. We got back together when she returned home. It didn't take long for things to go to normal, but I still didn't know who I was coming home to. She was paraded out a bunch of demons at church one sunday. She changed to the good, until the night I found one of my friends from church e\was naked in bed with hoer. The pastor said to feto out for a week, and I did, but the Bible told me to forgive her and go back with her. I had our daughter who told what Kemy was doing in our house with Mommy. That was when it was over.
Which story do you believe?
(I'll do the other one tomorrow.)
