Family time when there is no time.

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Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#1
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#1
Life is busy. In the morning we all get ready Husband goes to work, I get ready, my kid's get ready, I take them to school, then I go to work. I pick them up at 3, come home, homework, dinner, bath bed. Same cycle the next day. Sometimes my Husband doesn't get home until 6:30, we don't get much of a chance for talking to each other. Weekends, Husband works Saturday. Sunday, church, I teach Sunday school, sometimes my Daughter has a singing lesson. Try to get stuff done for the week.

How is do you make time for family? How do I squeeze that time in? How do you do it?
 
M

Miri

Guest
#2
#2
I struggled for a year to work full time while taking care of my aunt, that was
before we had any Carer's to come in and help. I was tired, frustrated, only doing half
a job with everything, getting no quality time for myself, no holidays. Most of my annual leave
was used up on medical emergencies and appointments for my aunt.

What little annual leave I did take was spent on playing catch up.

During week days I was basically working 15-16 hour days.
At weekend I was working at least 5 hours each day.
When I did have some free time I was often too tired to do anything with it.

After careful consideration I decided quality of life was better than money, after all
no one on their death bed looks back on life and wishes they had spent more time at the
office.

So I decided to reduce to part time, working 3 days a week. A massive burden was lifted
off me the day I took that decision and I've never looked back.
 
M

Miri

Guest
#3
#3
Ps I also played in the worship team which took up around 11 hours of
my time every week. I loved it but realised I could not keep up with it.
So with a heavy heart I stepped down. I felt guilty I felt bad etc. but
God confirmed to me it was the right thing to do.


If you are finding it hard to spend quality family time together then if I were you
i would look at whether it is still practical or desireable to teach Sunday school.

Its hard stepping down from something you love and have done for a long time
but if it's causing problems for you and you are having to put your own family
second, then no one is going to condemn you for stepping down, especially not God.:)
We all go through different seasons, that includes different ministries.
 
breno785au

breno785au

Senior Member
#4
Jul 23, 2013
6,002
764
113
39
Australia
#4
Miri is spot on, sometimes we are so busy here or it seems like it that some Sundays we decide not to go to church so we can have quality time together as a family. At first it felt strange, a mindset challenged I would say, but family is exceedingly important to God. And constant busy-ness is not sustainable.
 
E

eph610

Guest
#5
#5
The key here is quality of time and not quantity of time...

My wife and I work full time jobs and also have a ministry. Our daughter is now a young adult and while she shares the same house, she lives her own life...she does pay us rent....We learned a long time ago that time management is critical.

For example
There were weeks that we worked Mon-Fri 8am-5pm and then had mid-week service on Wednesday night, Ministry on Thurs/Friday nights t and Church on Sunday, both AM/PM services...

We decided that skipping mid-week service was ok for us, our Pastor knew our ministry so he understood us missing mid-week. Our daughter always had a ride to youth group on Wednesdays.

We go to a church now that has services on Sat night and 3 services on Sunday AM, so we all go to church on Saturday night and Sundays are reserved for family time, unless I am invited to go preach somewhere. We make every effort to attend mid-week, but do not feel "condemned" for missing a service, we also do not go to the Sunday night service.

We make time for quality time like sharing a meal together at a restaurant before church or getting ice cream after mid-week service.

The 3 of us also share the household chores, etc.
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#6
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#6
Our church has one service now. It's Sunday at 9:30
AM. Sunday school isn't a problem for me. Actually my kid's are in my class so I get to spend that time with them. My Husband works a lot and we don't live extravagantly. I only work part time, he can't cut back. It's pretty much impossible, he could lose his job and we can't risk that. He does have days off and he will not always take the overtime.
 
E

eph610

Guest
#7
#7
Fenner said:
Our church has one service now. It's Sunday at 9:30
AM. Sunday school isn't a problem for me. Actually my kid's are in my class so I get to spend that time with them. My Husband works a lot and we don't live extravagantly. I only work part time, he can't cut back. It's pretty much impossible, he could lose his job and we can't risk that. He does have days off and he will not always take the overtime.
Click to expand...
Understand here completely, which is why I dislike peeps that call it SIN to miss a service...ya'll are doing it as best as you can and that is how we all live...

Blessings!

PS: always take advantage of any quantity of time you get to turn it into quality time. Do not let the enemy have an inch at all....
 
M

Miri

Guest
#8
#8
Fenner said:
Our church has one service now. It's Sunday at 9:30
AM. Sunday school isn't a problem for me. Actually my kid's are in my class so I get to spend that time with them. My Husband works a lot and we don't live extravagantly. I only work part time, he can't cut back. It's pretty much impossible, he could lose his job and we can't risk that. He does have days off and he will not always take the overtime.
Click to expand...
Maybe one thing you could try, is to make one weekend in five a family weekend, no overtime,
maybe even no church and use it to do something together as a family. Go out for the
day, visit relatives etc, go to a bonfire, etc. Maybe learn to do something as a family like
roller skating, snow boarding, wall climbing etc - it depends how old the children are.

Things like that will stick in your memory long after the time is up. :)
 
E

eph610

Guest
#9
#9
Miri said:
Maybe one thing you could try, is to make one weekend in five a family weekend, no overtime,
maybe even no church and use it to do something together as a family. Go out for the
day, visit relatives etc, go to a bonfire, etc. Maybe learn to do something as a family like
roller skating, snow boarding, wall climbing etc - it depends how old the children are.

Things like that will stick in your memory long after the time is up. :)
Click to expand...
great advice miri...we did that as well.,
 
resurrection33

resurrection33

Banned
#10
Dec 19, 2009
27,513
128
0
71
#10
Fenner said:
Life is busy. In the morning we all get ready Husband goes to work, I get ready, my kid's get ready, I take them to school, then I go to work. I pick them up at 3, come home, homework, dinner, bath bed. Same cycle the next day. Sometimes my Husband doesn't get home until 6:30, we don't get much of a chance for talking to each other. Weekends, Husband works Saturday. Sunday, church, I teach Sunday school, sometimes my Daughter has a singing lesson. Try to get stuff done for the week.

How is do you make time for family? How do I squeeze that time in? How do you do it?
Click to expand...
I don't see an answer but certainly the Lord has one.
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#11
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#11
Miri said:
Maybe one thing you could try, is to make one weekend in five a family weekend, no overtime,
maybe even no church and use it to do something together as a family. Go out for the
day, visit relatives etc, go to a bonfire, etc. Maybe learn to do something as a family like
roller skating, snow boarding, wall climbing etc - it depends how old the children are.

Things like that will stick in your memory long after the time is up. :)
Click to expand...

Thats a great idea Miri, thank you!
 
E

eph610

Guest
#12
#12
Fenner said:
Thats a great idea Miri, thank you!
Click to expand...
I liked that Miri said don't even go to church. There is a religious stink that states if we do not go to service or fellowship we are breaking laws, etc.

That is simply not true. Sometimes a break from Church/ministry is perfectly ok and may even be wise...

Jesus did it in Mark 6.30-32
[SUP]30 [/SUP]The apostles *gathered together with Jesus; and they reported to Him all that they had done and taught. [SUP]31 [/SUP]And He *said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a secluded place and rest a while.” (For there were many people coming and going, and they did not even have time to eat.) [SUP]32 [/SUP]They went away in the boat to a secluded place by themselves.
 
M

Miri

Guest
#13
#13
eph610 said:
I liked that Miri said don't even go to church. There is a religious stink that states if we do not go to service or fellowship we are breaking laws, etc.

That is simply not true. Sometimes a break from Church/ministry is perfectly ok and may even be wise...

Jesus did it in Mark 6.30-32
[SUP]30 [/SUP]The apostles *gathered together with Jesus; and they reported to Him all that they had done and taught. [SUP]31 [/SUP]And He *said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a secluded place and rest a while.” (For there were many people coming and going, and they did not even have time to eat.) [SUP]32 [/SUP]They went away in the boat to a secluded place by themselves.
Click to expand...

I learnt a long time ago that as long as it's done with the right motive, it's perfectly ok
to not go to church at times.

Maybe in times of great distress, turmoil it's even ok not to go
for a couple of months at a time, or just go once or twice a month. In fact its in those times
that I personally find I just want to be alone with God and I can't always face going to church
and putting on a smiley face, but that's just me and everyone is different.

As i say the reason and motives have to be sound, otherwise you might find yourself not going
because you are falling away from God.

But I think time out as a family once in a while is justification enough.
 
U

Ultimatum77

Guest
#14
#14
Fenner said:
Life is busy. In the morning we all get ready Husband goes to work, I get ready, my kid's get ready, I take them to school, then I go to work. I pick them up at 3, come home, homework, dinner, bath bed. Same cycle the next day. Sometimes my Husband doesn't get home until 6:30, we don't get much of a chance for talking to each other. Weekends, Husband works Saturday. Sunday, church, I teach Sunday school, sometimes my Daughter has a singing lesson. Try to get stuff done for the week.

How is do you make time for family? How do I squeeze that time in? How do you do it?
Click to expand...
Take shortcuts like if you have any down time try to get things prepared the day before or hours before it's due....like you could pack your kids lunches ahead of time the night before, have you kids if they're old enough iron their clothes the night before, make a meal that will last 2-3 meals/over a couple of days....stuff like prep for dressing/cooking takes a lot of time, if you can consolidate your time by killing off time consuming processes/using time efficiently you can make time for others! :) I don't have a family but I try to do things ahead of time as much as I can so that it "frees up" time in the future that I can enjoy and do whatever I want.....
 
O

oldethennew

Banned
#15
Feb 28, 2016
11,311
2,972
113
#15
of course, it always must be Jesus first and foremost, but that certainly doesn't mean that it
has to be 'church-related', if we Love Him, and put Him first, then of course He goes every where
with us at all times, and we have to understand that He puts priority of Family first, for that is what He
is all about...

so, it should be fairly simple to honor family time with Him at home or where ever 'together'
as a UNIT before all else, with Him at the head of the table...
 
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