Loved ones who hate Jesus

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K

kiwi_OT

Guest
#1
#1
I love my brother very much. But like most siblings he drives me nuts. Not because hes a head chef for the Army (two very bad combo's) and makes Gordan Ramsay look like a pansy, not because he enjoys to then criticise MY cooking but just how he and his girlfriend pick on me for being a Christian.

I love him very much but this seriously hurts. We both grew up without a father and were then abused by a stepfather. Our Mum tried to raise us in the church early on but gave up after a while and just told us to read our bibles. At 15 I was the only person in my family to go to church and commit to having a relationship with Jesus. Ive managed to finally bring my mother back to church and she now enjoys her bible study group. My brother on the other hand I suspect is very bitter at God for what he went through. He currently has a girlfriend that he lives with (yet shows no inclination towards hoping to marry her at all), and she herself has had a traumatic history involving domestic abuse and being gang raped when she was 13. Despite this we have an alright relationship the 3 of us - so long as Jesus or God isnt mentioned.

I know from their perspective, they would prefer it if I kept my "religious" opinions and beliefs to myself. They once came over to my house while I was cleaning and singing along to loud praise music and demand I turn it off and then I get berated for listening to such music. I know their both of the opinion that God is some kind of negligent and corrupt and stuck up ruler on a throne made from clouds with angels who act like something out of 'Queer eye for the straight guy'.

Sometimes I feel very frustrated with them. Given my brother and her past they are prime candidates for understanding how much Jesus loves them. But ggrrrrr!!
I dont know what to do!
 
P

Pete_Martinez

Banned
#2
Oct 1, 2009
296
3
0
#2
Rom 12:14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.
Rom 12:15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.
Rom 12:16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.
Rom 12:17 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.
Rom 12:18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
Rom 12:19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord."
Rom 12:20 To the contrary, "if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head."
Rom 12:21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Don't worry too much for now about preaching to them, their ears are stopped and will not listen. In their mind, and it is common for those who have suffered, that if God were really good or if God really cared he would have stopped all the suffering that has happened. For now, focus on showing them kindness and goodness, show them God's true nature and character through you. Over time your compassion will either break or harden their hearts. If it breaks, then it's open to receive the love of God, if it hardens, then continue to be good to them, and stand as a good soldier of Christ.
 
H

HeartOfGod

Guest
#3
#3
kiwi OT

I understand where you are coming from because I have come across those who don't believe in God can be a struggle to talk to because they have a perception that God is a big meanie and that God wants nothing more then to force them to become some one who can't think for themselves or even let lose their mind. It can be hard and yet challenging to share one's faith with even those who don't believe that God exists at all and that he lines up with some figment of our own created imaginations. Yep this is the kind of feed back I have gotten.

Then it's with my family who are mostly Roman Catholic they believe in God, only they believe that they had a born again experience through baby baptism. I tried sharing with my parents and my mom mails me back pictures of "Sacred Heart Mary and Jesus." It's usually a picture with a big flaming heart on both of them. I try to evangelize to my family and in turn I get evangelized back. Kind of ironic eh? There is a time when some times you just have to let go and leave them in God's hands. Sometimes we may try too hard in our own strength because we long to see others get saved.

I know it's hard but if they don't want to listen and their hearts aren't prepared to listen all that's left is praying for them and loving them as they are now. Even if you have spoke words with scripture those seeds will be planted. Maybe it takes some one else to water them? I see my self more as a one who plants seeds rather then one who does the rest. We are dealing with people's perceptions and only God knows what's really in their minds that block that way to salvation other then just their disbelief. There was a time when I didn't believe and even my faith has been tested and tried.

When I look back in time I see my own sister who witnessed Christ to me and she was more silent in prayer and Loving in her witness to me. She did win me over to Christ eventually and it happened in God's time. God's timing is always perfect and he knows every thing about them. We just have to give that concern to him and then it becomes less of a burden to ourselves. Something that God wants me to learn especially when it comes to sharing with others. Sometimes we just have to let go and let God deal with it. Don't give up on praying for them and don't give up on Loving them. ;)
 
M

Matthew

Guest
#4
#4
I know your frustration, I once had friends at work once who denied God simply because they thought that if he was there why had certain things happened to them and where is his influence in the world today etc..

When people put up walls around thier hurt it is the hardest work to do to try and get behind them, speaking in general I think these are the kind of people who will never respond well to a direct approach, which is probably why discussions with you on the subject cause tension and why the praise music bothers them both.

I'd say it's going to be a long road, after all they haven't gotten to this point quickly and for some people understanding and openness doesn't come in a moment of revelation but happens little by little.

So my advice is just continue being yourself around them, which means continue expressing your faith in natural and reasonable ways and don't stop at their demand, so keep your music on etc...
The first step with people who are angry is to show them through thought, word and deed that they are simply wrong, telling them in direct terms only makes the walls higher, but if over time they see you holding to a strong faith and how it enriches your life and those of others around you they may soften in their views, ultimately no-one can deny evidence before their eyes.

Once that happens things can progress to the next level of open discussion and a willingness to at least learn about it, and then the process can continue with your support.

I know for tommorow that makes nothing better, but with so much trauma in place it'll probably take a long time to reconcile everything they are keeping buried.
 
K

kiwi_OT

Guest
#5
#5
Cheers people :)
 
Clement

Clement

Banned
#6
Jan 1, 2010
2,480
8
0
32
#6
I go through the same thing. The only thing we can do is pray. Pray that God touches their heart and change them into better individuals in Christ, so that they thirst for knowing the Lord. We cannot force them to do anything. Its their take in the end..
 
D

Dmurray

Guest
#7
#7
I have the same problem with my best-friend and my grandfather. I try to just go over to my grandfathers house to just visit him, but somehow we always get talking about God, even though it wasn't my intention in the first place.

I've talked to my pastor and some others about this, and all we can do is pray that God will give them revelation and open the eyes of their heart.

God bless.
 
loveschild

loveschild

Banned
#8
May 21, 2009
3,955
25
0
#8
Keep praising and thanking God that your brother is saved. Do the happy dance to the Lord that he is saved. By your prayers he will come to the Lord.

If they don't like your music they can go home that is your house.

Speak about God any time you want. But know that they can't hear you right now. But know that every word is being set into their hearts none the less.

But you do need to use caution because talking a lot about God to them pushes them away. God will open doors in time for them to hear you.

My son didn't believe. Now he is saved. He said thank you the other day for never giving up on me mom. I just told him I trusted God and knew you would come to him.
 
M

mosesforchrist

Guest
#9
#9
as those above said....
 
J

Jordan9

Guest
#10
#10
Matthew said:
I know your frustration, I once had friends at work once who denied God simply because they thought that if he was there why had certain things happened to them and where is his influence in the world today etc..

When people put up walls around thier hurt it is the hardest work to do to try and get behind them, speaking in general I think these are the kind of people who will never respond well to a direct approach, which is probably why discussions with you on the subject cause tension and why the praise music bothers them both.

I'd say it's going to be a long road, after all they haven't gotten to this point quickly and for some people understanding and openness doesn't come in a moment of revelation but happens little by little.

So my advice is just continue being yourself around them, which means continue expressing your faith in natural and reasonable ways and don't stop at their demand, so keep your music on etc...
The first step with people who are angry is to show them through thought, word and deed that they are simply wrong, telling them in direct terms only makes the walls higher, but if over time they see you holding to a strong faith and how it enriches your life and those of others around you they may soften in their views, ultimately no-one can deny evidence before their eyes.

Once that happens things can progress to the next level of open discussion and a willingness to at least learn about it, and then the process can continue with your support.

I know for tommorow that makes nothing better, but with so much trauma in place it'll probably take a long time to reconcile everything they are keeping buried.
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Well said, Matthew. I agree with everything here.

Another thing I'd add is that I've found a lot of non-believers actually do want to talk about God, just on their own time. Do what Matthew suggested, and it won't be long that they'll be saying things like, "So, why do you like this 'God' fellow so much?"

I spend a great deal of time among atheists and non-Christians. I can legitimately say that they want to talk about Jesus quite a bit :p Just take baby steps, pray without ceasing. Be honest, too. If you can't answer a question, tell them so. Be patient, kind, humble, loving (not saying that you aren't already :p) But, yeah, I am willing to wager that so long as you remain in their lives as a friend and support, they'll start asking you to talk about it more.
 
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