I need help

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LaurenTM

Guest
#21
#21
spunkycat08 said:
Frustrated.

Conflicted.

Trying to find the right way to go about this given her attitude.

And the reason why is because her male friend asked me last week when will the 2 of us resume our friendship.
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from your first post, I had the impression there is some sort of attraction going on

that's your real problem

cut it...now

come on...you know what you're playing with


My heart it beating fast. My mind is racing.

What do I do?


if you really want to have freedom, you are going to cut it

and tell your husband why
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#22
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
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#22
spunkycat08 said:
Frustrated.

Conflicted.

Trying to find the right way to go about this given her attitude.

And the reason why is because her male friend asked me last week when will the 2 of us resume our friendship.
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Spunky, a couple years ago, I broke off a friendship with someone who repeatedly called myself and all my neighbors "pieces of crap". I put up with it for awhile but then she made fun of my disabled upstairs neighbor. So I said, "I wish the piece of crap in my house right now would leave". I didn't say it as a putdown, only so that she would see how bad it feels to be called that. She did leave, and our friendship ended mainly because she finally showed me her true colors.

Now you say you're conflicted and frustrated. So was I. I didn't mind being called names, but my friend referred to all my neighbors, who for the most part are disabled or not all there in the head, as pieces of crap and that bothered me to the point where I finally ended it. I think you need to make it clear to these people that you are not willing to put up with their codependent ways and make the break..
 
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spunkycat08

Senior Member
#23
Dec 7, 2013
403
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#23
LaurenTM said:
from your first post, I had the impression there is some sort of attraction going on

that's your real problem

cut it...now



come on...you know what you're playing with


My heart it beating fast. My mind is racing.

What do I do?


if you really want to have freedom, you are going to cut it

and tell your husband why
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I am not attracted to the male friend.

My heart was beating and my mind was racing due to my past anxiety issues and due to the fact that I am an HSP, otherwise known as an empath.

The four of us went out to lunch 2 Sunday's ago. That was when there was an argument between my husband and her in her male friends car. I did not want to deal with that, and so I had to take a break from that situation by leaving.

My body reacted physically to the situation. That happens to an HSP, and I do not like it when this happens.

Plus my husband was not happy with the fact that I left and did not have lunch with them.

He wanted me to immediately resume the friendship when I was not ready.
 
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LaurenTM

Guest
#24
#24
spunkycat08 said:
I am not attracted to the male friend.

My heart was beating and my mind was racing due to my past anxiety issues and due to the fact that I am an HSP, otherwise known as an empath.

The four of us went out to lunch 2 Sunday's ago. That was when there was an argument between my husband and her in her male friends car. I did not want to deal with that, and so I had to take a break from that situation by leaving.

My body reacted physically to the situation. That happens to an HSP, and I do not like it when this happens.

Plus my husband was not happy with the fact that I left and did not have lunch with them.

He wanted me to immediately resume the friendship when I was not ready.
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[h=2]I need help[/h]
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I thought it might be the other way around actually

of course there is always plauseable deniability*

I don't now what an HSP is...I don't have to know

stating your body reacted physically to the situation is related to*

maybe your body was telling you what your mind does not want to admit to...you are trying to sound helpless here


again, you are 47...break it off

tell your husband


when you allow yourself to get in so deep you need or think you need help to get out...it is PAST time to get out

that's it from me

God bless you and I hope you take some advice...not necessarily from me...but what is beneficial
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#25
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
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#25
What Lauren is too polite to say (lol) is that you need to stop putting up with their bullsheet.. It's up to you whether you want to put up with their malarkey for the rest of your life. Personally, I wouldn't want to. Now you can either fret and stew over this, or take the hatchet and cut them off.. lol
 
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spunkycat08

Senior Member
#26
Dec 7, 2013
403
2
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#26
Ugh...

I am beginning to wonder if she is passive aggressive.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#27
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#27
spunkycat08 said:
Ugh...

I am beginning to wonder if she is passive aggressive.
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She is co-dependent. That means she uses people to fulfill her needs. If she is passive/aggressive, that's not YOUR problem to deal with. Now come on, woman!! Live up to your user name and make the break!! You and hubby need to stop enabling her co dependency on you.
 
lv2ski

lv2ski

Senior Member
#28
Aug 20, 2016
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#28
blue_ladybug said:
She is co-dependent. That means she uses people to fulfill her needs. If she is passive/aggressive, that's not YOUR problem to deal with. Now come on, woman!! Live up to your user name and make the break!! You and hubby need to stop enabling her co dependency on you.
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Her name isn't woman. Lol
 
H

HisHolly

Guest
#31
#31
spunkycat08 said:
Ugh...

I am beginning to wonder if she is passive aggressive.
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I'm seeing that you are... You'll wait until you get confirmation that agrees with you.. Be bold and go against.. stand up or you'll always be stuck.. no one can do it for you
 
miknik5

miknik5

Senior Member
#33
Jun 2, 2016
7,833
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#33
Can someone please explain what an empath is and where this term came from. We now have two self-identified "empaths" on this Christian forum
 
lv2ski

lv2ski

Senior Member
#34
Aug 20, 2016
542
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#34
Being an empath is when you are affected by other people's energies, and have an innate ability to intuitively feel and perceive others. Your life is unconsciously influenced by others' desires, wishes, thoughts, and moods. Being an empath is much more than being highly sensitive and it's not just limited to emotions.

Codependent, imop
 
miknik5

miknik5

Senior Member
#35
Jun 2, 2016
7,833
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#35
lv2ski said:
Being an empath is when you are affected by other people's energies, and have an innate ability to intuitively feel and perceive others. Your life is unconsciously influenced by others' desires, wishes, thoughts, and moods. Being an empath is much more than being highly sensitive and it's not just limited to emotions.

Codependent, imop
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If I declare myself and say "I am an empath?" It's a quality, a virtue, strait, a characteristic. . And it is what one does. You don't identify yourself as a virtue. You do it and are known by others to be like this or like that

But to pre-announce oneself as an empath?

Why?.
 
miknik5

miknik5

Senior Member
#36
Jun 2, 2016
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#36
Other people's energies?
what does that mean?
so do these other people wh the empath can read identify themselves in this same manner.

By their....moods?
 
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miknik5

miknik5

Senior Member
#37
Jun 2, 2016
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#37
Are "empaths" some sort of new group of people
is your husband an empath. Is it your responsibility as empaths to show as you stated in your OP....love?


This is a new word and I have only heard it twice and both times here in s matter of less than 2 weeks
 
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lv2ski

lv2ski

Senior Member
#38
Aug 20, 2016
542
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#38
miknik5 said:
If I declare myself and say "I am an empath?" It's a quality, a virtue, strait, a characteristic. . And it is what one does. You don't identify yourself as a virtue. You do it and are known by others to be like this or like that

But to pre-announce oneself as an empath?

Why?.
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You got me. I just gave you definition. I don't know that I except that as a legitimate personality.
 
N

NewWine

Guest
#39
#39
Back in my younger days we called that being sensitive to others....But that's here nor there...

to the op: make a decision, enact this decision, then live with this decision...or don't and continue as you are... Pretty simple.
You KNOW what's right and wrong, You KNOW how you want to be treated and how to treat others in general, you KNOW your limits.....so you KNOW what to do here. Now pray and then go with what you KNOW.
Peace!!
 
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spunkycat08

Senior Member
#40
Dec 7, 2013
403
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#40
In the recent past she has stated that she wishes she had what my husband and I have relationship wise and the fact that she has never had that her entire life.

My husband has tried to be encouraging to her, but he senses bitterness and sarcasm in her as well as low self-esteem.

She has also stated that she prays for more money since she is on SSDI and has been for most of her life.

But I do not think that she will be granted what she wants because God sees other important things in her that he needs to work on. However, she has to realize that and let him help her.

I am not the one to open her eyes to that. I am leaving that to my husband.

My husband feels that their friendship is not what he would call a friendship between a man and a woman based on the amount of alone time they have, the activities they do as well as the fact that the 2 of them plan on spending Thanksgiving with her mother. This link describes what their relationship is like in some ways Dating Games: 10 Worldly Things that Singles Do When Dating | Biblical Counseling Coalition
 
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