Dont know if I can stay married to this man.

[naivewife]

This might go against everything we are taught in church about marriage and dating relationships... I grew up in church... I know what the bible says about it... and I know God hates divorce... but I really think that this could have been prevented had we just had sex pre marriage... I know, I just dropped a bomb didnt I... This is why... yes I knew he was an "introvert" pre-marriage... but he was also a leader, a pursuer and passionate after God more than anyone I knew... I was the most attracted to this. In our dating/engaged relationship, we spent a lot of time together, he pursued me, and I had all of his attention... I didnt expect for things to be so intense after marriage... but we did fight to maintain purity before marriage... and I think that this caused a lot of sexual frustration and crazy hormones that clouded our judgment... the first year you are together, the hormones and chemicals make you infatuated with the other person... and make you feel like you are "in love." Maybe if we had just gotten that out of the way, we would have realized how different we are... I mean our interests, our needs, temperments... everything... maybe we would have been able to see that we are just not a match. What does God hate more, sex before marriage, or divorce? Like I said, I never would have married someone that didnt care or not if he had any interaction with me at all... and I dont think he would have chosen to marry someone that needs so much time and physical affection. My parents have been married for over 30 years... they wear that as a badge of honor... but my mom is miserable and a little crazy because my dad does not pursue her... he is not a bad man, he just prefers to play on his phone all day, or be occupied in other ways... I do not want to be my mom... I would rather we get divorced... he can fully pursue his career goals/dreams without me being a drag, and I can maybe find a man that appreciates a lot of time and affection, and will value me and love me more... of course the biggest factor is that we have kids together... I would never deny him access to our kids, or speak ill of him... its just a conflict of opposing needs/love languages...

 

[Roughsoul1991]

This might go against everything we are taught in church about marriage and dating relationships... I grew up in church... I know what the bible says about it... and I know God hates divorce... but I really think that this could have been prevented had we just had sex pre marriage... I know, I just dropped a bomb didnt I... This is why... yes I knew he was an "introvert" pre-marriage... but he was also a leader, a pursuer and passionate after God more than anyone I knew... I was the most attracted to this. In our dating/engaged relationship, we spent a lot of time together, he pursued me, and I had all of his attention... I didnt expect for things to be so intense after marriage... but we did fight to maintain purity before marriage... and I think that this caused a lot of sexual frustration and crazy hormones that clouded our judgment... the first year you are together, the hormones and chemicals make you infatuated with the other person... and make you feel like you are "in love." Maybe if we had just gotten that out of the way, we would have realized how different we are... I mean our interests, our needs, temperments... everything... maybe we would have been able to see that we are just not a match. What does God hate more, sex before marriage, or divorce? Like I said, I never would have married someone that didnt care or not if he had any interaction with me at all... and I dont think he would have chosen to marry someone that needs so much time and physical affection. My parents have been married for over 30 years... they wear that as a badge of honor... but my mom is miserable and a little crazy because my dad does not pursue her... he is not a bad man, he just prefers to play on his phone all day, or be occupied in other ways... I do not want to be my mom... I would rather we get divorced... he can fully pursue his career goals/dreams without me being a drag, and I can maybe find a man that appreciates a lot of time and affection, and will value me and love me more... of course the biggest factor is that we have kids together... I would never deny him access to our kids, or speak ill of him... its just a conflict of opposing needs/love languages...

Divorce is a sin like any other sin he hates all sin. Obviously, you know the Bible and what it says about marriage.The husband has a very important role to play as a spiritual leader and man of the house. If he denies his role the marriage will fall apart. But you must do all you can to save it. After all love is an action that must be practiced for life compared to love as a feeling which only comes and goes.

My wife and I was head over hills for each other and did not follow Gods guidance with marriage only having the same outcome. Eventually, marriage became a crazy job that we had to work at. But no matter what comes of this Jesus died for your husband sins and yours. If everything falls apart I believe God is a God who would rather comfort the hurt than say I told you so.

I would defiantly give him the note and then you team up with God for at least 40 days. Pray like never before, seek guidance like your life depended on it, do all you can to spark love between you and him. Put God right up front and hopefully God will remind your husband the man he is suppose to try and be.

The Devil wants to do all he can to separate you two. You are at war with unseen forces and evil will do everything to corrupt what was Gods. If not for Gods sake, do it for your husband, and if not for him do it for your child and if not for him/her do it for you. Give God a big chance and trust he will fix your marriage. Have faith and believe.

When you pray make sure you listen and keep your spiritual eyes open to God answering your prayers. God will answer in some way or another. Eyes open and ears ready to hear. Let God lead you and give you hope.

Matthew 19
3 Some Pharisees approached Him to test Him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife on any grounds?”4 “Haven’t you read,” He replied, “that He who created them in the beginning made them male and female,” 5 and He also said:
“For this reason a man will leave
his father and mother
and be joined to his wife,
and the two will become one flesh?
6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, man must not separate.”

9And I tell you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”

Ephesians 5

Wives and Husbands


22 Wives, submit[f] to your own husbands as to the Lord, 23 for the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so wives are to submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[g] her with the washing of water by the word.27 He did this to present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless. 28 In the same way, husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hates his own flesh but provides and cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, 30 since we are members of His body.
31 For this reason a man will leave
his father and mother
and be joined to his wife,
and the two will become one flesh.

32 This mystery is profound, but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 To sum up, each one of you is to love his wife as himself, and the wife is to respect her husband.


1 Corinthians 7

3 A husband should fulfill his marital responsibility to his wife, and likewise a wife to her husband. 4 A wife does not have the right over her own body, but her husband does. In the same way, a husband does not have the right over his own body, but his wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another sexually—except when you agree for a time, to devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again; otherwise, Satan may tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 I say the following as a concession, not as a command.