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Married 7 years, 6 months pregnant with second girl, about to move to another state...
My husband is a independent, introverted, very hard working, analytical, hates to ask for help or need anyone. He gets stressed easily, and is often tired from work... he doesnt de-stress through me or any relational way, he just wants to be alone and read... and I try to be understanding and give him his space when he needs it. I however need to be pursued... I need time and affection... IM realizing our needs, and ways of showing love and receiving love are very different. I have cried to him about my needs over and over again the course of our marriage because I often feel neglected or rejected by him... I guess it just doesnt come naturally to him to spend time with me or give me any affection... it makes me feel like he doesnt care if IM around at all... and I just dont know if I can live like this... he wasnt like this when we were dating... and I would never have married a man that was so emotionally and physically absent. I decided to do a little psychological experiment the past 2 weeks to confirm what I already know, but to show him that he does not pursue me... I decided to see what would happen if I did not pursue him, if I did not seek him out... to see if he would ever seek me out.
Day 1-3 no interaction at all, Day 4 - he talked to me about work and politics for 10 min, no further interaction, Day 5 no interaction, Day 6 - he wasnt feeling good, I give him a pass, Day 7 sunday - we had good conversation, he watched our daughter so I could do some work, no further interaction, Day 8 he actually gave me a kiss on the cheek and said I love you before work(cant remember last time he did that), he talked to me for 15 min or so after work, no further physical touch/affection, Day 9 no interaction, Day 10 We fought about christmas plans, a fight we have every year. We had to see his family later that day, he said he was sorry for the fight and actually pulled me toward him on the couch while we were watching the debate(he is always more affectionate with me around his family) Day 11 - no interaction... I still plan on getting to day 14 before I show him this.... I just pray that he will finally see why Iv had such a hard time all these years... I just wish that it came more naturally to him to pursue me... I mean it makes sense in my head, you love someone you naturally want to be with them... but he doesnt? So confused.
My husband is a independent, introverted, very hard working, analytical, hates to ask for help or need anyone. He gets stressed easily, and is often tired from work... he doesnt de-stress through me or any relational way, he just wants to be alone and read... and I try to be understanding and give him his space when he needs it. I however need to be pursued... I need time and affection... IM realizing our needs, and ways of showing love and receiving love are very different. I have cried to him about my needs over and over again the course of our marriage because I often feel neglected or rejected by him... I guess it just doesnt come naturally to him to spend time with me or give me any affection... it makes me feel like he doesnt care if IM around at all... and I just dont know if I can live like this... he wasnt like this when we were dating... and I would never have married a man that was so emotionally and physically absent. I decided to do a little psychological experiment the past 2 weeks to confirm what I already know, but to show him that he does not pursue me... I decided to see what would happen if I did not pursue him, if I did not seek him out... to see if he would ever seek me out.
Day 1-3 no interaction at all, Day 4 - he talked to me about work and politics for 10 min, no further interaction, Day 5 no interaction, Day 6 - he wasnt feeling good, I give him a pass, Day 7 sunday - we had good conversation, he watched our daughter so I could do some work, no further interaction, Day 8 he actually gave me a kiss on the cheek and said I love you before work(cant remember last time he did that), he talked to me for 15 min or so after work, no further physical touch/affection, Day 9 no interaction, Day 10 We fought about christmas plans, a fight we have every year. We had to see his family later that day, he said he was sorry for the fight and actually pulled me toward him on the couch while we were watching the debate(he is always more affectionate with me around his family) Day 11 - no interaction... I still plan on getting to day 14 before I show him this.... I just pray that he will finally see why Iv had such a hard time all these years... I just wish that it came more naturally to him to pursue me... I mean it makes sense in my head, you love someone you naturally want to be with them... but he doesnt? So confused.