getting ready to make a break for it i can not deal with the abuse anymore!!!!
- Thread starter jenniferand2
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right now all my courses are on line so changing schools i do not have to do yet if i have to i can go to a different community college here that will take my transfer credits.. we have a joint account but we never really put money into it we have our monthly ssd payments go to separate cards.. we only use joint account to pay bills. I do have a friend that may help me with the dogs for a little while although i feel safer with them being with me.. my plan right now is to go and see if i can get help getting an apartment away from him where I can bring my dogs for medical reasons I can get papers from my doctor to state they are used for depression and anxiety which is not a lie at all they do comfort me a great deal.. other wise I am just slowly putting together a plan my phone I have is in my sisters name so all I have to do is have her change the number... insurance will be the same i have medicare and medicaid to cover me so no worries there.. everything seems that to me will fall into place my biggest worries will be him trying to play guilt trips on me through family etc... we do have a daughter together and she is not going to want to cut her relationship off with him and I do not expect her to as of yet i do not see her being in any danger as he is very much the a different person with her he loves her the right way and spoils her and never even try to correct her when she is wrong etc.. she does no wrong in his eyes... if i feel like it changes though I will pull her from meeting with him.. I know he is an ass hat to me and treats me very very badly but i really do not see him doing much other then trying to get me back when i do leave. He knows he has a lot to loose if he messes with me the wrong way... SO i have things now i can hold over him if he decides to go way off the board with his behaviors. I am not being so unworried that I am not watching my back when i leave though that is for sure. I will have security covered when i leave. I will have people go with me places and I will have people check on me often. I will have people he does not know watch my house etc.... I am not going into this blindly but I am honestly feel the worst he will do is try to get me to come back by crying and trying to make me feel bad..
ummm are you high have you not noticed all the posts that say I am in like real danger here. I am not playing house here with a child hood kid this is real life. I am going to sit around and be belittled cheated on and treated like crap anymore.. At this point I would rather fry in hell then pray for my marriage that is never going to change.. Sorry but that is how it is and i think God is very much aware of my suffering and I am sure he will forgive me for not wanting to stay with a m an who treats me like garbage... I will pray for him though that will not change but that is all that will happen
why would you tell someone that is in this bad of a place in life and possible danger to continue on and pray for a marriage that is clearly not Christ like in so many ways.. what if I was your child would you say the same thing pray for your husband pray for your marriage stay with him it is not that bad suck it up blahhhh blahhh seriously
Verily, verily, I say unto you, except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit. John 12:24 KJV
Look at the process. From death comes life. But notice, something has to die. You are not new until you are dead (I am not talking about a physical death). Many Christians want a new marriage, new finances, a new relationship, a new house, a new car, or etc. The bible tells us how to get the new. You are not new until you are dead.
So why is death necessary? 2 Corinthians 4:8-12 ERV says God gives us opportunities to die with our problems daily so we can bring something new. We are always being delivered to death because there are things in your life and mine that needs to die for you and I to become effective. There are things in my life and your life that have to die for the life of Jesus to be seen. So the reality of God's presence is based on your death. Until the five senses die they will be more real to a Christian than God.
You can't fix sin with natural solutions. Only the Cross of Christ can fix sin.
Look at the process. From death comes life. But notice, something has to die. You are not new until you are dead (I am not talking about a physical death). Many Christians want a new marriage, new finances, a new relationship, a new house, a new car, or etc. The bible tells us how to get the new. You are not new until you are dead.
So why is death necessary? 2 Corinthians 4:8-12 ERV says God gives us opportunities to die with our problems daily so we can bring something new. We are always being delivered to death because there are things in your life and mine that needs to die for you and I to become effective. There are things in my life and your life that have to die for the life of Jesus to be seen. So the reality of God's presence is based on your death. Until the five senses die they will be more real to a Christian than God.
You can't fix sin with natural solutions. Only the Cross of Christ can fix sin.
Excellent, excellent way to make him so mad he is willing to murder or assault her.
This is a very poor idea as he will view this as stealing and it's not legal to just take assets.
Best thing to do is find someone who can help you financially for a while while only taking personal items that are hers.
And, if she is in a state that allows it... a hand gun may be needed for self defense. I know that sounds bad, but Jesus did tell those He sent out to sell something and buy a weapon (Luke 22:36) which was obviously for self defense which would not be sinful to use deadly force if her life / physical well being was in danger.
Some states allow people to have a weapon without registering it or having a concealed handgun permit.
I know most of the ladies down south are armed so nutjobs think twice about assaulting them!
This is a very poor idea as he will view this as stealing and it's not legal to just take assets.
Best thing to do is find someone who can help you financially for a while while only taking personal items that are hers.
And, if she is in a state that allows it... a hand gun may be needed for self defense. I know that sounds bad, but Jesus did tell those He sent out to sell something and buy a weapon (Luke 22:36) which was obviously for self defense which would not be sinful to use deadly force if her life / physical well being was in danger.
Some states allow people to have a weapon without registering it or having a concealed handgun permit.
I know most of the ladies down south are armed so nutjobs think twice about assaulting them!
i really think you need to chill out I did not ask for this guy to be abusive to me.. I married him so I was not sinful so you really need to get a grip on what your saying you can be very dangerous to another Christian woman in the same situation as myslef... God will judge me in the end and I will take my chance that he will forgive me and see I did what i had too.
Yes, and do NOT feel bad for taking measures to ensure your physical safety. He's the one with the problem, so that does not mean you are obligated to become a victim.
Lots of men are so full of pride that a woman leaving them sends them over the edge, especially if they take a bunch of stuff with them when they leave.
There's got to be some friend or family member or even a Christian from the net that can provide some help by giving you a place to stay so you can wait and see if ol nutjob is going calm down or continue acting all crazy.
Sorry, but I grew up in a home where my step dad used to beat my mom and we were hunters with weapons in the house and at age 12 I came very close to blowing his brains out... and for some odd reason he quit hitting my mom. I guiess he figured something was up.
Lots of men are so full of pride that a woman leaving them sends them over the edge, especially if they take a bunch of stuff with them when they leave.
There's got to be some friend or family member or even a Christian from the net that can provide some help by giving you a place to stay so you can wait and see if ol nutjob is going calm down or continue acting all crazy.
Sorry, but I grew up in a home where my step dad used to beat my mom and we were hunters with weapons in the house and at age 12 I came very close to blowing his brains out... and for some odd reason he quit hitting my mom. I guiess he figured something was up.
L
Hi Jenn,
I think he is giving you another option besides a divorce solution. Yes, since he cheated on you then biblically you can divorce him. But if there is any chance to save the marriage I believe God would want that over divorce. I will give you a bit of my testimony here.
I wasn't abusive to my wife physically but I was emotionally because I cheated on her. I didn't have God in my life at the time and after she found out my world was getting torn apart. I was broken and I was angry at myself for tearing my wife apart as well. I finally turned to God and refused to let my relationship turn into another statistic.
Long story short I turned my life over to Christ and with lots of prayer and talking she stuck with me. Yes we still have trust issues because of what I did, but God saved our marriage and everyday I thank Him for giving me a second chance in multiple ways. Remember God works miracles and I have seen it first hand.
Just remember this is between you and God and if you truly feel this is the course God wants you to take then who am I to talk you out of it. Just remember you do have more options when the Lord is involved. God bless and will be praying for you.
thank you I understand that I have tried and tried and tried and prayed and prayed this man is not a Christian wants nothing to do with hearing about God in anyway at all does not care to change his ways even after i tell him what he needs to do and beg him to just stop you can not keep beating a dead horse nor can you make a horse drink if you lead it to water.. I am all out of trying at this point the years of trying to live with this and make it work are taking a toll on my own health my relationship with God is suffering because of this because i am starting to get very angry and resentful.
Wow! 20 years???
I salute your patience! You have gone way beyond the call of duty having held on for that long trying to work things out.
I'd agree... it's time to do what's right for yourself now... I'm in agreement with you for the Lord's provision to be revealed as you wait on Him to show you the path to take out of this mess. The battle is the Lord's and the Victory is yours!
But, please be careful to remain in an attitude of forgiveness and continued prayer for his salvation / deliverance. If we take on a hard heart towards someone, that is an open door to the tormentors to come in to our lives that Jesus spoke of in Matthew 6:14,15 and in Matthew 18:34
No matter how bad the guy has been acting, it's still the Lord's will that he be saved and come into a right relationship with the Lord and with you for that matter.
I salute your patience! You have gone way beyond the call of duty having held on for that long trying to work things out.
I'd agree... it's time to do what's right for yourself now... I'm in agreement with you for the Lord's provision to be revealed as you wait on Him to show you the path to take out of this mess. The battle is the Lord's and the Victory is yours!
But, please be careful to remain in an attitude of forgiveness and continued prayer for his salvation / deliverance. If we take on a hard heart towards someone, that is an open door to the tormentors to come in to our lives that Jesus spoke of in Matthew 6:14,15 and in Matthew 18:34
No matter how bad the guy has been acting, it's still the Lord's will that he be saved and come into a right relationship with the Lord and with you for that matter.
I agree and I will pray for him until my last breath happens but i do not want my last breath to be because he finally snaps totally but i know you get that. Thank you I appreciate that you appreciate how long and hard I have tried. A few people think I am caving and taking the so called easy way out. Ha that is far from the truth as 20 years of this nonsense says other wise.. and if I can say one thing to any woman in my shoes it would be not to hang on for as long as I did I have been lucky that he has not snapped yet based on some of the things he has said to me which I will not get into.. Ladies in my shoes get out and run while you can do it properly and safely. Do not fear that God is going to deny you if you leave and abusive person no just God would want you to suffer or be killed just to follow s law about marriage.