getting ready to make a break for it i can not deal with the abuse anymore!!!!

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tjogs

Senior Member
#141
Jun 28, 2009
323
18
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#141
blue_ladybug said:
Oh believe me, I'm not soft on abusers either. I've threatened everything from death (not literally) to castration to the various guys my friends have been with. I've been in that situation of being abused, and wanting to get out, but was afraid to. UNTIL he tried strangling me. That was the last straw. People here rag on me for telling married women to leave and get a divorce from their abusive husband. Well, I sure the heck ain't gonna tell her to stay so he can bash her skull in. And I'm speaking of all the women who have come here with their stories, Jennifer included. Just because the bible doesn't state that abuse is grounds for divorce, doesn't mean that God won't allow it. He knows the hearts of these scared women.
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I wish to broaden that to both genders. (Have nothing against women but sadly It's not only men who falls to this) It don't matter is it man or woman, young or old. Abuse is not right. i have been close enough to those cases in my life so far. Seen how person who you should trust tears you down physically, emotionally, even spiritually.
 
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kaylagrl

Guest
#142
#142
Depleted said:
That's Ugly's mission. Put down anyone who doesn't think or act like him. You can't win, and wouldn't want to if you could.
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Well I had thought we had an understanding despite our differences,apparently not.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#143
#143
blue_ladybug said:
Oh believe me, I'm not soft on abusers either. I've threatened everything from death (not literally) to castration to the various guys my friends have been with. I've been in that situation of being abused, and wanting to get out, but was afraid to. UNTIL he tried strangling me. That was the last straw. People here rag on me for telling married women to leave and get a divorce from their abusive husband. Well, I sure the heck ain't gonna tell her to stay so he can bash her skull in. And I'm speaking of all the women who have come here with their stories, Jennifer included. Just because the bible doesn't state that abuse is grounds for divorce, doesn't mean that God won't allow it. He knows the hearts of these scared women.
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Actually, you tell everyone to leave for even the slightest "abuse." and quite often "abuse' is used for any negative emotion exposed.

Of course, spouses should leave if their lives are endangered. But if we leave for any things that can be called "abuse" my marriage would have been over in 2000. When I became disabled, I was a piece of crap (not the word I'm thinking lol) to be around. I was angry at God, but God takes it, so it's not useful to take the anger out on him. Guess who I did take it out on.

But he stuck by me until I got over it. And we're not talking months. Quite a few people come on here and tell their story of woe, but leave out the part that their spouse is having a hard time over something else and is taking it out on them. There are times in marriage for that. Is it "abuse?" Hell if I know. The term keeps changing meanings with PCism.

Eccl. 3
1 [FONT=&quot]For everything there is a season, and [/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT][FONT=&quot]a time for every matter under heaven:[/FONT][FONT=&quot][FONT=&quot]2 a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
3 a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4 a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5 a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6 a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
7 a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8 a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.[/FONT]
[/FONT]
For a season we learn to endure through Christ who more than merely endured us.

But when the season never ends? Then it's up to the spouse to decide. Not us. Jennifer has earned her decision. She has paid her due-diligence.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#145
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#145
IMO, abuse in ANY form is abuse. And sometimes it's the verbal and mental abuse that hurt more than the physical does.. Just saying..
 
Tinkerbell725

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
#146
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
113
Philippines Age 40
#146
blue_ladybug said:
IMO, abuse in ANY form is abuse. And sometimes it's the verbal and mental abuse that hurt more than the physical does.. Just saying..
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But we are not aware of ourselves sometimes, we are already being abusive because we focus too much outside of ourselves. How can you be polished if you get irritated with the every rub? Sometimes abuse is also an indicator that we are being abusive. We get a taste of our own medicine.
 
jenniferand2

jenniferand2

Senior Member
#147
Mar 19, 2016
1,433
33
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#147
Tinkerbell725 said:
But we are not aware of ourselves sometimes, we are already being abusive because we focus too much outside of ourselves. How can you be polished if you get irritated with the every rub? Sometimes abuse is also an indicator that we are being abusive. We get a taste of our own medicine.
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there are situations where that may happen but it is still a toxic relationship in that case as well. Just because person A is abusive with person B does not mean person B has to be abusive back. There is a difference IMO between abuse and arguing a little to much.. My opinion of abuse is a situation where a person is hurt by their loved one so much that it damages then emotionally or physically.. BUt a toxic relationship should be fixed some how or end.
 
Freesoul

Freesoul

Junior Member
#148
Apr 1, 2014
5
3
3
#148
Way better advice than most folks here, and some very good common sense perspective that I wish more people would/could understand. Everybody is so politically correct and Biblically rebellious
 
laura_charlotte

laura_charlotte

Senior Member
#149
Dec 16, 2012
1,483
114
63
#149
Ugly said:
I can see clearly by the last page the discussion had turned into two individuals chatting about things unrelated to the OP. Regardless of what stance you took earlier, the fact still remains the thread turned into a discussion between two people about skylights and wood stoves. So I feel fully justified.
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LanceA said:
I agree Ugly. I was going to respond to this thread but all I saw were attacks on someone who isn't on this forum any longer. I've read through the entire thread and think what was needed to be said has been.
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​It's a constant. A few provided words of encouragement before they resigned, however if that was God's will, then I have faith they're in His hands.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#150
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
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#150
He didn't leave because of anyone or anything on this thread. He had been planning to leave for awhile now.. As for the OP, she IS still here and welcomed the brief levity that Kayla and Lauren provided.. Also, the original topic is now back on track so it's all good. :)
 
jenniferand2

jenniferand2

Senior Member
#151
Mar 19, 2016
1,433
33
48
#151
grrrrrrrr I hate when I am trying to say something and the jack hat starts ripping a new one before I even finish what I am trying to say that so makes me angry... then wonders why I barley ever speak
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#152
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#152
CeileDe said:
Yep God is all for divorce. He definitely told you to leave your husband.
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I know this person is gone but what the what?

jennifer2 I'm glad you're getting out. This isn't marriage it's hell.
 
jenniferand2

jenniferand2

Senior Member
#153
Mar 19, 2016
1,433
33
48
#153
yes it happens a lot I spend probably 140 hours a week secluded in my bedroom because i get yelled at for everything just about i only leave the room to shower pee eat or go to the store pretty much
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#154
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#154
I agree with Fenner. That's hell, not marriage.. and I LOL'ed at "jack hat".. lol


jenniferand2 said:
yes it happens a lot I spend probably 140 hours a week secluded in my bedroom because i get yelled at for everything just about i only leave the room to shower pee eat or go to the store pretty much
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tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#157
Mar 13, 2014
41,313
16,301
113
69
Tennessee
#157
CeileDe said:
Yep God is all for divorce. He definitely told you to leave your husband.
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Why does this seem to surprise you? God does not want any woman to endure years of physical and verbal abuse. Oh wait, yeah, I see that you were banned so I won't be anxiously waiting for your response.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#158
Mar 13, 2014
41,313
16,301
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Tennessee
#158
tourist said:
Why does this seem to surprise you? God does not want any woman to endure years of physical and verbal abuse. Oh wait, yeah, I see that you were banned so I won't be anxiously waiting for your response.
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Sorry, you were in fact not banned but have chose to resign your membership. My bad.
 
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