I need Marriage Advice

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CatHerder

Senior Member
Mar 20, 2013
3,551
79
48
#21
...If I dont want to do anything on that third day he gets really pissed off and makes me feel like I am not a good wife and will turn to porn in front of me.

I have cought him texting two women on separate occasions asking for nude pictures. He got pictures from one and the other said no. He thinks it is no big deal because he never touched them in real life. I still feel cheated on. Like he doesn't care about me and my feelings.

We started going to church together about a year ago and he talked about a lot of change and wanting to live a life for the Lord. I just dont think he is serious about what he says. He did quit drinking in April because I told him if he drank again I was leaving, but always says stuff like "a rum and coke would be nice today" in front of his friends while looking at me.
Thank you, God Bless
From what you described in your OP, your husband does not seem to be an addict. He seems to be very very angry. He may not be physically abusive, but is expressing his anger in a more passive-aggressive way. He knows the porn upsets you and he does it - he does not even try to hide it.

He may or may not be doing anything more than flirting with these women (and the nude pics is another example of porn), but he knows that his interactions with them hurts you.

He knows that his drinking upsets you, yet he comments about drinking when with his buddies, but the comment really is directed at you.


...I don't want to divorce him, but I don't know how much more of the "addictions" I can handle.
Addiction is characterized by a lack of control. Yet he seems to be in total control of these vices if he is timing them and using them to push your buttons and cause you pain.

Perhaps he is resentful of the lies you told at the onset of the relationship and now feels trapped - maybe it's something else. But these behaviors of his that are bothering you seem like symptoms of a much bigger issue.