I Feel Like God Doesn't Care About My Family

[Kayleigh]

For the last three years, my husband and I have been praying tirelessly for a job. We both have college degrees, and we have been living rent free in a parsonage. Two years ago, my husband got a factory job, but he has to work nights. I worry about his health, and it makes us miserable because we don't see each other much. He makes just enough to pay our current bills, but not enough to save up for a house. He makes just barely too much to get food stamps. God has given us two beautiful, healthy girls, our one silver lining. He needs a good job so badly, and no amount of praying works. While we've been in this situation, people all around us have gotten great jobs. His mother has been through two, and his sister, who was ungodly, promiscuous, and on academic probation in college, is working at a cancer research institute and getting her masters at Yale. Yes, Yale. Maybe she is a different person now, which is great, and I never resent her. I just want a good job. We've been through career counceling, resume workshops, interview classes, etc. We have great resumes, we know how to search for jobs. Everyone is dumbfounded as to why we have nothing. I'm tired of living in poverty. I want to have enough to take care of my girls. I want to see my husband on the weekends and holidays. I want to live in a house that belongs to us and pay a mortgage. I feel like these are things normal adults can do. Adults without degrees or great job skills. Why does everything pass us by? Why does prayer do nothing? Why does it feel like God doesn't care? I don't lnow how much longer I can live like this without having a breakdown!

 

[blue_ladybug]

I'm gonna be straight up with you. Reading your post, I see alot of "I I I I". Prayer does work. God does care. But we all have to go through hard times, and this is one of yours. There is a season for everything, and this too shall pass. Try to focus alot more on God, and alot less on your current, but temporary, problems..

 

[PrynceNY]

If you read the book of Job it told how he was greatly blessed by the lord and the lord took everything away from him to test his faith. Life isn't always going to be easy & God will put his people through tests which will grow/improve them. Instead of believing God doesn't care be happy & thankful for what he has blessed you with already. Continue to be faithful & trust in him and he will reward your faith. There are many people in the world who has it much worst than you do. Try not to take your blessings for granted & continue to trust in him.

 

[Miri]

To be honest you sound as if you have already got far more than many.
You live rent free in a parsonage, you have two daughters and a good husband.
Many would be blessed to have what you have.

Im single, have no children, live in a rented council, work part time and am a
carer to my elderly aunt full time. I do not have time off or holidays. I single handedly
do everything cooking, cleaning, washing gardening, shopping. Sort out all my aunts
medical needs, deal with all the medical staff and appointments and sort out all the finances.
No one to consult with, no one to share the load, all the conversations as home
entail bowel movements, medications, oxygen issues, medical appointments etc.

Why am I telling you this, well for a while I went through a woe is me stage and life
has taken a lot of adjusting to. Now I count my blessing and whatever has happened
God has been there and provided. That included a car running into the side of the house
last year, my aunt nearly dying, spending Christmas on my own because she was in
hospital for 12 weeks, dealing with her really bad swearing and shouting due to
delerium and all manner of other things. Oh then there was the fall she had at home
i got a call from the police at work. I got home to find they had smashed the living
room window to get into her.

But you know what, I don't moan any more, God has done amazing things in the
most awful situations. We both have everything we need food, a roof over our
heads, a cosy house, enough money to get by. I have learnt to be content for I
know life could be much much worse.

Maybe you need to count your blessings more and be thankful. A time will come
when you will be in a better position. But in your current situation learn to be content
and use the time to seek God more.


Matthew 6:31-34 NKJV
[31] "Therefore do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?'
or 'What shall we wear?' [32] For after all these things the Gentiles seek.
For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.
[33] But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these
things shall be added to you. [34] Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for
tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

 

[Depleted]

For the last three years, my husband and I have been praying tirelessly for a job. We both have college degrees, and we have been living rent free in a parsonage. Two years ago, my husband got a factory job, but he has to work nights. I worry about his health, and it makes us miserable because we don't see each other much. He makes just enough to pay our current bills, but not enough to save up for a house. He makes just barely too much to get food stamps. God has given us two beautiful, healthy girls, our one silver lining. He needs a good job so badly, and no amount of praying works. While we've been in this situation, people all around us have gotten great jobs. His mother has been through two, and his sister, who was ungodly, promiscuous, and on academic probation in college, is working at a cancer research institute and getting her masters at Yale. Yes, Yale. Maybe she is a different person now, which is great, and I never resent her. I just want a good job. We've been through career counceling, resume workshops, interview classes, etc. We have great resumes, we know how to search for jobs. Everyone is dumbfounded as to why we have nothing. I'm tired of living in poverty. I want to have enough to take care of my girls. I want to see my husband on the weekends and holidays. I want to live in a house that belongs to us and pay a mortgage. I feel like these are things normal adults can do. Adults without degrees or great job skills. Why does everything pass us by? Why does prayer do nothing? Why does it feel like God doesn't care? I don't lnow how much longer I can live like this without having a breakdown!

15 years, so far. I'll be sure to let you know when we both die, so you can find out how long people can live like that. (Well, okay, our mortgage isn't free and neither of us can work, so about as close to you as possible.)

Really? Reallyreally? You have free rent, enough to pay your bills, a husband that can work, enough to live on, and you're bemoaning how tough your life is?

When does God even get into your picture? Seems to me your spending so much time getting jealous over everybody else, not enough time to go passed what you think you deserve.

Want to know what you deserve? Separation from God. Death. Eternity in hell.

Now do you really want what you deserve?

Get over yourself. Are you even aware you've got it good? Did God miss something? Are you homeless? Are you starving? Are you dehydrated? Exactly what is missing out of your needs, becauses that's them, babe! A place to live, food, and liquid. Everything else is icing on the cake.

Your two kids? Icing on the cake. A family? Icing on the cake. Healthy? Dang! Healthy is icing on the cake, sprinkles and decorations. Your husband's job? Icing on the cake. A free place to live? Icing AND sprinkles on the cake!

You "feel" God ignores you? Exactly who is ignoring whom here?

And where did you ever learn the only way to make money is to work for someone else to begin with? If no one is hiring workers, then do work to make money.

 

[Depleted]

To be honest you sound as if you have already got far more than many.
You live rent free in a parsonage, you have two daughters and a good husband.
Many would be blessed to have what you have.

Im single, have no children, live in a rented council, work part time and am a
carer to my elderly aunt full time. I do not have time off or holidays. I single handedly
do everything cooking, cleaning, washing gardening, shopping. Sort out all my aunts
medical needs, deal with all the medical staff and appointments and sort out all the finances.
No one to consult with, no one to share the load, all the conversations as home
entail bowel movements, medications, oxygen issues, medical appointments etc.

Why am I telling you this, well for a while I went through a woe is me stage and life
has taken a lot of adjusting to. Now I count my blessing and whatever has happened
God has been there and provided. That included a car running into the side of the house
last year, my aunt nearly dying, spending Christmas on my own because she was in
hospital for 12 weeks, dealing with her really bad swearing and shouting due to
delerium and all manner of other things. Oh then there was the fall she had at home
i got a call from the police at work. I got home to find they had smashed the living
room window to get into her.

But you know what, I don't moan any more, God has done amazing things in the
most awful situations. We both have everything we need food, a roof over our
heads, a cosy house, enough money to get by. I have learnt to be content for I
know life could be much much worse.

Maybe you need to count your blessings more and be thankful. A time will come
when you will be in a better position. But in your current situation learn to be content
and use the time to seek God more.


Matthew 6:31-34 NKJV
[31] "Therefore do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?'
or 'What shall we wear?' [32] For after all these things the Gentiles seek.
For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.
[33] But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these
things shall be added to you. [34] Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for
tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

If you ever want to talk bowel movements with someone other than your aunt, I'm here for you.

(I so hope you weren't sipping something when you read that. Drinks should not exit out of the nose. lol)

 

[santuzza]

I know this will sound heartless and cruel, and I really don't mean to be, but perhaps God is trying to teach you something here. My hubby and I went through a very "hopeless" scenario a while ago. Having gone through it, I see that God was teaching us to be fully dependent on Him for everything. It is the way we live today. It seems that all our needs are met, everyday. Notice, I said my needs are met -- not my wants. He provides for all our needs, and that is enough. Try to start thinking of the joys and provisions in your life -- you have food on the table and a roof over your head. I've been in situations where that was not a given, and it truly makes you grateful for all the necessities being met! As hard as it may be, try to nurture an attitude of gratitude.

Now, just an idea, have you ever thought of starting your own business? There are some things you can do that don't take much capital. I don't know your background, but I think it's time to start thinking outside the box.

 

[Miri]

If you ever want to talk bowel movements with someone other than your aunt, I'm here for you.

(I so hope you weren't sipping something when you read that. Drinks should not exit out of the nose. lol)

Ha ha thankfully I wasn't drinking anything. We most hold the record in my house
for the longest conversation possible about bowel movements.

 

[RickyZ]

My first response is, why do people insist on having children they can't afford to take care of?

My second is that as a child of God you are an enemy of this world. So it should not surprise you to see this world taking care of it's own better than it does you. http://christianchat.com/blogs/rickyz/10631-depression-world.html

Thirdly I think Ms Ladybug has a good take on it. Sometimes the "I's" can keep us from seeing the problem.

But we are praying for you, and for a breakthrough.

 

[Depleted]

Ha ha thankfully I wasn't drinking anything. We most hold the record in my house
for the longest conversation possible about bowel movements.

You don't know my family. We keep records. I can tell you who holds the records and what kind of records they have. lol

 

[wanderer6059]

WOW just read this thread and all there encouragement is amazing!

(for those who lack understanding that's sarcasm)

i relized that word maybee to big for some of you too so i have the definition.

sar·casm
ˈsärˌkazəm
noun
[COLOR=#878787 !important][/COLOR]

• the use of irony to mock or convey contempt.
  
  
  

you all need to learn to read you bibles more, especially on love. i doesn't matter if she is having a hard time, and yours is worse, or she is a little better off. right now she is a sister in need and if you are soo much worse off yet dealing with it sooo much better, why don't you post what God has done for you helping you carry on, the word of scripture you stand on! instead you belittle her... SMH just a bunch of babes in Christ!

 

[Magenta]

WOW just read this thread and all there encouragement is amazing!

(for those who lack understanding that's sarcasm)

i relized that word maybee to big for some of you too so i have the definition.

sar·casm
ˈsärˌkazəm
noun
[COLOR=#878787 !important][/COLOR]

• the use of irony to mock or convey contempt.
  
  

you all need to learn to read you bibles more, especially on love. i doesn't matter if she is having a hard time, and yours is worse, or she is a little better off. right now she is a sister in need and if you are soo much worse off yet dealing with it sooo much better, why don't you post what God has done for you helping you carry on, the word of scripture you stand on! instead you belittle her... SMH just a bunch of babes in Christ!

Shouldn't the WoF person be giving encouragement instead of
mocking and contemptuously disparaging their brethren with sarcasm?

 

[blue_ladybug]

As far as I can see, most here have given the OP a good dose of truth. Her problems are temporary. And God is her solution, but she has to be proactive in helping Him to help her. She needs to focus less on what SHE wants, and focus more on what GOD wants.

 

[laura_charlotte]

This is a great outlook but it requires humility from others to accept and practice. Sadly the issues you've outlined are rife. Well done for encouraging the op, I hope they're able to take solace and wisdom from your post to help heal their spirit.

WOW just read this thread and all there encouragement is amazing!

(for those who lack understanding that's sarcasm)

i relized that word maybee to big for some of you too so i have the definition.

sar·casm
ˈsärˌkazəm
noun
[COLOR=#878787 !important][/COLOR]

• the use of irony to mock or convey contempt.
  
  
  

you all need to learn to read you bibles more, especially on love. i doesn't matter if she is having a hard time, and yours is worse, or she is a little better off. right now she is a sister in need and if you are soo much worse off yet dealing with it sooo much better, why don't you post what God has done for you helping you carry on, the word of scripture you stand on! instead you belittle her... SMH just a bunch of babes in Christ!

 

[kaylagrl]

For the last three years, my husband and I have been praying tirelessly for a job. We both have college degrees, and we have been living rent free in a parsonage. Two years ago, my husband got a factory job, but he has to work nights. I worry about his health, and it makes us miserable because we don't see each other much. He makes just enough to pay our current bills, but not enough to save up for a house. He makes just barely too much to get food stamps. God has given us two beautiful, healthy girls, our one silver lining. He needs a good job so badly, and no amount of praying works. While we've been in this situation, people all around us have gotten great jobs. His mother has been through two, and his sister, who was ungodly, promiscuous, and on academic probation in college, is working at a cancer research institute and getting her masters at Yale. Yes, Yale. Maybe she is a different person now, which is great, and I never resent her. I just want a good job. We've been through career counceling, resume workshops, interview classes, etc. We have great resumes, we know how to search for jobs. Everyone is dumbfounded as to why we have nothing. I'm tired of living in poverty. I want to have enough to take care of my girls. I want to see my husband on the weekends and holidays. I want to live in a house that belongs to us and pay a mortgage. I feel like these are things normal adults can do. Adults without degrees or great job skills. Why does everything pass us by? Why does prayer do nothing? Why does it feel like God doesn't care? I don't lnow how much longer I can live like this without having a breakdown!

I must admit that I read your other thread about how people respond to posts. Im not going to put down others advice here. But the advice,or comment I would have made before I saw your other thread is that you sound like most of the country,the middle class that are working their tails off and have nothing to show for it. Its frustrating and I believe you,like a lot of people,are in depression. Im hoping with a change of guard in the White House that things will be better for the middle class. My husband just left a job because we were only seeing each other three hours in the evening,sometimes not even that. I hate to bring it down to politics but I do think that is why the working class voted the liberals out. The middle class is sick and tired of having more week at the end of the money then the other way round. I feel where you're coming from.

 

[Ariel82]

If God asked you to be a janitor would you do it?

Or are you too "good" for that?

You prayed for a job. Your husband got a job. Praise the Lord!

You gossip about your sister in law and lay her sins before the world. You envy your neighbors goods, their house, their job,, their money.

You need to repent and ask God to cleanse your heart and mind of jealousy, bitterness and anger at God.

Your words scream that you are angry at God. Its okay to admit it. I get angry at God sometimes and I yell and tell Him I am mad.

Then I am convicted of my sins and realise how harmful my words and actions are.

Jesus shows us by washing His disciples feet that no job is too lowly.

If God offered you a job washing people's feet would you take it?

Do you believe that you are better than Jesus? More worthy?

God loves you. He has given you everything you need.

Will you give Him thanks and praise?

Will you offer a humble and contrite heart?

God can change how you see the world and how the world sees you. All you have to do is pray and LISTEN to what He tells you.

We all have areas we need to work on. Gossip and bitterness can poison your life and your relationships.

Give them to God. He can heal you and show you a better way. Meditate on what is good in your life: your silver lining, the love of your husband and daughters, the blessing of shelter, food.

You strive for a job, but perhaps God has given you this time of rest to pray and focus on growing in Him?

Trust Him to provide as He already has.

Read the Bible and be inspired by the stories therein....

Paul didn't have a home. Neither did many of the other people found in a scripture.

However, when we all get to heaven. We will live in mansions.

Hope to see you there sister. May God's love and peace surround you.

 

[presidente]

It does sound like the Lord is providing for you, just not in the way you want.

Something about prayer... you are supposed to be praying in faith. Saying no amount of prayer works demonstrates a lack of faith. James says that the one who asks for wisdom and doubts is not to expect that he will receive anything of the Lord. Hebrews says that he that cometh to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of them who diligently seek him. Peter walked on water, until he doubted, and then he sunk. Some of the apostles could not cast out a certain demon because of their unbelief.

Paying a mortgage every month shouldn't thrill you. I heard a guy with a PhD in Finance say that if you invest your money in something else that grows at 5% a year, financially, there is generally no advantage to paying a mortgage over paying rent. Paying a mortgage may seem cheaper than renting in some cases. If you buy, then you have to pay for insurance and repairs, expenses the land lord would pay for. If you can get a better-than-market deal on buying, you might do better, but you might get a better-than-market deal on renting as well. You can also renovate and poke holes in the wall if you buy, but you are tied down, so there are some advantages beyond financial returns, but also some trade offs.

You should be thankful for what you have, but I think there is a place for trying to improve your situation in life as your kids get older. What kind of degrees do you have? Are they degrees that don't translate into jobs? Degrees in nursing, business, and chemistry may transfer directly to work in the workplace. Other majors like communications, psychology, communications, and women's studies may not. If you studied history, it may be hard to get a job. If you studied to be a history teacher, it may be easier.

If your husband wants a 'real job', maybe he could go back to school. For example, a history major may need to add a year to be a teacher. If it's two years, a masters in something may make more sense. But just getting a masters may not help that much either. If he went out and got an MBA, even from a decent school, without any work experience, it may be hard to get a job. A lot of these educational programs mean more debt, too. For education, though, there are programs to work off the loans and some tough, dangerous inner-city school.

There are also fields that require short training like medical coding, real estate, real estate appraisal, etc. You may need to line up a job or mentor for that.

There is also the option of starting your own business. MLMs are easy to do. But you have to put in an incredible amount of work, working for peanuts and spending money on products, in a lot of cases, before you build up the downline that generates enough of an income to actually live off of. The actual share holders of the MLM make the real money.

One of you could start some other kind of small business. In some places, it is possible to do food vending on street corners or at events. I volunteered to raise money for a church youth group once at a vending stand, preparing food for people who came to watch the races at a race track. You may be able to open up a booth at an event. That may require some capital.

One place I lived had an industry for street vendors, though, where you could start up for several hundred dollars. That is really, really hard work.

Maybe you could work events and sell T-shirts. Is there a flea market where you lived? I've lived in places that had kind of fancy upscale air conditioned flea market like places. There was a flea market inside, and a bunch of stalls and tables inside, too, selling stuff. It ended up attracting the local Mexican population and selling a lot of Mexican products. you may have to borrow from relatives to get enough for a table, or have them co-invest so you don't owe the money later if it doesn't work out.

Figure up some projected expenses and profits before you do something like this. Do some market research. Ask people. You could ask vendors, "How many plates/shirts do you sell in a day?" and then calculate the costs of the ingredients.

There is also online business. You could set up some kind of online store and promote it by buying online advertising. There may be something you could start up on a shoe string.

Does one of you write? You could write a book and sell it online through Kindle and Create Space. Buy some cheap advertising from Google or Facebook. See if it turns a profit over the advertising and grow it that way.

Ask the church if you can sell vegetables grown on the parsonage property. You could sell vegetables on the side of the road. Do turnips grow in the winter?

If no one comes along and gives you the big job, go out and find some money for yourselves.

 

[Depleted]

WOW just read this thread and all there encouragement is amazing!

(for those who lack understanding that's sarcasm)

i relized that word maybee to big for some of you too so i have the definition.

sar·casm
ˈsärˌkazəm
noun
[COLOR=#878787 !important][/COLOR]

• the use of irony to mock or convey contempt.
  
  
  

you all need to learn to read you bibles more, especially on love. i doesn't matter if she is having a hard time, and yours is worse, or she is a little better off. right now she is a sister in need and if you are soo much worse off yet dealing with it sooo much better, why don't you post what God has done for you helping you carry on, the word of scripture you stand on! instead you belittle her... SMH just a bunch of babes in Christ!

While you were off looking up the word sarcasm and defining it in pretty colors incorrectly while being sarcastic, you could have been reading what was written. I did offer her a few things to do.
-- Realize God is taking care of her.
-- Notice that she has been so busy letting the jealousy fester, she forgot to bring herself to the Lord.
-- If there is no one hiring, find your own work.

A babe in Christ tends to put down others in Christ. If I'm remembering right, most of the people you called "babes in Christ" have been warriors in Christ longer than you've been alive. So, from an older Christian to a young one, how about turning that SMH into SMM?

 

[presidente]

I had another thought. In some Asian countries, they'll take people with degrees to teach English. It used to be easy to get a job. Maybe it still is. I hear you can make $2000 a month in China. The qualifications you need are to be a native speaker of English and a college degree. A white face helps. Some training helps you actually be able to do the job. The top certificate, is, or used to be, the CELTA, a Cambridge certificate, for teaching English. Some universities have certificates you can get if you take three classes. The Southern Baptists have, or had, a training program that was good, too, to train their people for community outreaches in the US. There are also online courses. Or you could just start work and figure it out, and hopefully you get a good text book with a teachers guide.

Anyway, basically the idea is like this, you or your husband or both go to China or some other country and teach at an institute. The children are a problem though. Maybe you could find a place that would get a visa for your kids, too, if you both would work for them. They may go for a married couple if they had a bad experience with a single fornicator who liked to drink or something like that in the past. Or maybe you could work with a missions-related agency that sends people out.

If both of you got $2000 a month for teaching 20 hours a week, that would be $4000. Two at $1800 would be $3600. It depends on how old your kids are, though. If your kids are school age, then you'd either have to put them in Chinese school or pay expensive international tuition.

There are also cheaper countries that pay less in the ASEAN region. Lets say you went some place like Indonesia and were able to get $1000 a piece, and pay a live-in baby sitter $200 a month to help with the kids. That's not ideal, but it might help with scheduling. If you were both certified teachers (in a US state primary, middle, or high school system), you could possibly get $4000 or more for both of you, or more, to teach at an English-speaking school in Indonesia, get free tuition for your kids there, and hire a maid so you didn't have to do a lot of housework.

It is typical for these teaching jobs to pay for housing. Often they pay a ticket home every year or so.

You could look at eslcafe.com. If you didn't have kids, it would probably be easy to get a job. With children, it makes the visa situation difficult. But if you shop around, you might find a match if you are interested.

In China, food is probably about half price of the US outside of the big cities in my limited experience. In lots of these countries food is cheap, you'd get your rent paid for.

 

[Miri]

WOW just read this thread and all there encouragement is amazing!

(for those who lack understanding that's sarcasm)

i relized that word maybee to big for some of you too so i have the definition.

sar·casm
ˈsärˌkazəm
noun
[COLOR=#878787 !important][/COLOR]

• the use of irony to mock or convey contempt.
  
  
  

you all need to learn to read you bibles more, especially on love. i doesn't matter if she is having a hard time, and yours is worse, or she is a little better off. right now she is a sister in need and if you are soo much worse off yet dealing with it sooo much better, why don't you post what God has done for you helping you carry on, the word of scripture you stand on! instead you belittle her... SMH just a bunch of babes in Christ!

Whether you realise it or not, she did get encouragement via tough love,
A whole bunch of people who have been through difficult times and are coming
through it, are saying to her ya know what, life's not as bad as you think.

There is a reason we should count our blessings, its biblical.
The children of Isreal did nothing but moan and complain this angered God.
Only one of the 10 lepers returned to say thank you to Jesus, this saddened Jesus.
WOF people don't understand the value of adversity and spiritual growth, they are
too busy telling people they lack faith or they would have everything they could ever wish
for.


To the OP, I read your other thread, you never said anything about depression so we
can only respond to the limited information given out.

I would say maybe you need to see your doctor if you are feeling depressed.
It helps as well to try to be proactive and take control over things, do something
practical. It helps to take back some control that you may think you have lost.

Dont dwell on what others have got, it makes no difference to your situation.
You might want the softly softly approach, but in certain circumstances such an
approach does very little to help.

I have a cousin who suffers from all sorts of things agrophobia, depression, anxiety.
All his life people have been telling him oh poor you, it's just emphasised his issues
and he has never dealt with them. It's actually made him worse as he feels the whole
world owes him something and he gets angry when anyone suggests he needs to
take some responsibility for helping himself.

Im sorry that you are feeling depressed and it may feel like you can't see tomorrow, but
honest there is a tomorrow and I really do feel you need to start looking out of yourself a
bit. Write down what you do have, praise God for providing, think about all the skills
you and your husband have.

Do you go to church, maybe open up a bit to other church members if you do and
try to make some good friends. If you don't then you could start by looking for a church to
fellowship with others. Little steps lead to bigger steps and moving forward to over come.

God bless