How to act..

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Girlgonecountry32

Guest
#1
#1
Hi in need of a lil advice. To make long sotry kinda short..Here goes My parents had divorced 4 years ago because of adultary on his part. I have since moved where later on he moved to same state also. He had his own apt and me and my husband got saved in the mean time. We have 3 children. He had met a woman (christian) who had eventually moved him in. They now attend church, he says he got saved also. I have my mother living with me now. I am a new christian so the advice i speak of that i need has really bothered me. My mother has pointed out to me what my father and his g/f are doing is sin. which that i understand. What bothers me is the fact that do i forgive my father yes, she has also. but as far as a relationship with him and my family its kinda hard with my mother throwning in my face the sins of first adultary, then now living with g/f. I should speak to him and if he dont listen then have nothing to do wtih THEM. I hope you all understand what im saying and asking. Really how to deal with this situation..thanx...
 
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notthatmatt

Guest
#2
#2
You should try to explain to them that putting you directly or indirectly in the middle of their problems is not fair nor the right thing to do. Keep the lines of personal communication between you and your mom and you and your father intact because if you cut out one eventually you may regret that. What your father is doing now may be a sin (living with a woman before marriage) however it isn't a reason to cut him out. Don't let your family or mother decide for you what to do about him, look to your own heart, pray, ask the lord for an answer. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't suggest having nothing to do with them.

Romans 3:23 - For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#3
Aug 2, 2009
24,580
4,269
113
#3
Girlgonecountry32 said:
...i forgive my father yes, she has also.
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Really? it doesnt sound like she does. Maybe she professes it, but if she is condemning him over and over again for it, then what comes out of her mouth flows out of her heart and reveals her true nature. (Matthew 15:18-19)

Even if your father was your enemy, Jesus commanded that we love our enemies, not try to avoid them. Jesus also says to forgive others as the Father forgives us our sins. When sins are forgiven they are to be forgotten:

"I will remember their sins no more" - Jeramiah 31:34

"Their sins and their iniquities I will remember no more" - Hebrews 8:12

"...will not remember thy sins". - Isaiah 43:25

Now, it might be that your mom is just venting her frustrations about the situation. She might just need someone to listen to her because it helps her heal. In that case it might be best to just let her and understand that its part of her healing process.
 
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Girlgonecountry32

Guest
#4
#4
thank you for the imput.. It just that im not trying to condem my father.. I dont know how i should approach the situation. Not bring my family over to THERE home. Associate with both of them TOGETHER? That sort of thing.. I dont want them to think i apporve of what they do by involving myself in a Happy Family thing..
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#5
Aug 2, 2009
24,580
4,269
113
#5
Ok well that certainly changes what I thought u meant originally. I willl have to get back to you on that. Right now, my stomach calls me to eat....
 
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notwhatIdo

Guest
#6
#6
I hope your mother finds another person,one who values faithfulness , I have my own situation about a boyfriend situation, I hope and pray for the best, it is frustrating Lord, God knows all the details of why, sometimes situations get complicated and there are intricate details that ONLY God and the direct immediate parties know about-We are relationship creatures.
 
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artistic_dreams

Guest
#7
#7
Girlgonecountry32 said:
Hi in need of a lil advice. To make long sotry kinda short..Here goes My parents had divorced 4 years ago because of adultary on his part. I have since moved where later on he moved to same state also. He had his own apt and me and my husband got saved in the mean time. We have 3 children. He had met a woman (christian) who had eventually moved him in. They now attend church, he says he got saved also. I have my mother living with me now. I am a new christian so the advice i speak of that i need has really bothered me. My mother has pointed out to me what my father and his g/f are doing is sin. which that i understand. What bothers me is the fact that do i forgive my father yes, she has also. but as far as a relationship with him and my family its kinda hard with my mother throwning in my face the sins of first adultary, then now living with g/f. I should speak to him and if he dont listen then have nothing to do wtih THEM. I hope you all understand what im saying and asking. Really how to deal with this situation..thanx...
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well its good u have forgiven ur father....but i have to say ur fathers personal love life is his own business.....ur mother is judging him and she claims to be a christian...she should reread her bible and understand that he says not to judge....if ur father is living w/his gf and commiting adultery then it is between him and god...not anybody elses business....i would suggest that you tell your mom you dont want to hear anymore about it.....its up to you....think about it...how would you feel if someone was telling you how to live your life? your dad is an adult and can take care of himself....do you really want nothing more to do w/him over this?....its up to you......im wondering if your mom is still really hurt over the reason they had to divorce and i would understand why....but she needs to understand that you have a right to have a relationship w/ur dad and it seems shes trying to come between that....so becareful...blessings
 
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silverwind

Guest
#8
#8
I agree with artistic_dreams. Your father is an adult, he will make his own choices and has to live with them. You can love him as your father and grandfather to your children. There can still be great individual relationships with everyone. That doesn't mean you agree with his lifestyle, but you can love him because that is the right thing to do. Pray for the situation and leave the rest up to God. " the prayer of a righteous man availeth much".
Blessings,

silverwind
 
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