I don't know what to do.

[LizaK]

Hey there! I'm new to this forum and I've been going through a couple of threads here and there. The advice you give here feels so positive and I think this would be the best place to discuss my problem too. I've been in love with this guy for about 8 years now and I really want to marry him. He loves me too, but he doesn't want me to get hurt in any way. He is suffering from schizophrenia and he believes that he is never going to be out of it. He believes that, it's something he's meant to be and is never going to change, no matter whatever treatment he takes. Hence, he prefers staying away and keeping people away from him, so that no one gets hurt. But I so much don't wanna stay away from his life. It's just not possible. I believe that when you love a person, you love them completely, with all their flaws and I'm trying my best to convince him for the treatment. I hope I'm doing the right thing. I'm even consulting a doctor about it and he has assured me that things would get better with medication. However, I'm worried about the side effects of these medications. I even found this blog, Risperdal Defective Drug Lawsuits | TheLawfirm.com that talks about the side effects of the medicines prescribed for schizophrenia. Now I'm really confused as to what to do. Is it gods ways to tell me not to force him for the treatment. Or is it just another thing that stopping me from doing the right.

 

[Tommy379]

Hey there! I'm new to this forum and I've been going through a couple of threads here and there. The advice you give here feels so positive and I think this would be the best place to discuss my problem too. I've been in love with this guy for about 8 years now and I really want to marry him. He loves me too, but he doesn't want me to get hurt in any way. He is suffering from schizophrenia and he believes that he is never going to be out of it. He believes that, it's something he's meant to be and is never going to change, no matter whatever treatment he takes. Hence, he prefers staying away and keeping people away from him, so that no one gets hurt. But I so much don't wanna stay away from his life. It's just not possible. I believe that when you love a person, you love them completely, with all their flaws and I'm trying my best to convince him for the treatment. I hope I'm doing the right thing. I'm even consulting a doctor about it and he has assured me that things would get better with medication. However, I'm worried about the side effects of these medications. I even found this blog, Risperdal Defective Drug Lawsuits | TheLawfirm.com that talks about the side effects of the medicines prescribed for schizophrenia. Now I'm really confused as to what to do. Is it gods ways to tell me not to force him for the treatment. Or is it just another thing that stopping me from doing the right.

I don't know what God wants you to do. I do know this, don't judge a medication by what a law firm says. Law Firms are in business to make money off of class action lawsuits. All medication has side effects. It's probably a bunch of bull like the suit against the baby powder manufacturer for causing ovarian cancer. Baby powder doesn't cause cancer. Ask a physician with experience in Risperdal about it.

 

[Ugly]

Medications are not cures, they are bandaids. Important for some people as they can be helpful. But there is no guarantee they will work.
His self imposed isolation is actually likely making his condition worse. The most successful recovery cases actually are Not in developed counties. Schizophrenic in developed countries are treated differently than in poorer, less developed countries.
I'm developed countries tend to treat Schizophrenics by ostracizing and isolating them. Pumping them full of meds and allowing them not to have to work.
Less developed countries, such as those of tribes and small villages, treat Schizophrenics as normal members of society, expecting them to be a part of the community and doing their part.

Most Schizophrenics never become violent, but once they do it is often quite extreme.

Ultimately it is his choice. It can be hard to convince someone who feels they are protecting you by avoiding you, that the choice is wrong. There is a genuine element of truth to it. Don't forget that.
Meds will have side effects. It's well documented for decades now the risks involved in such kinds of medications. This entire situation is unstable and unpredictable. It may be possible that if he got on medication the two of you could live happy lives with very little effect from his condition or meds.
It's also possible he could snap one day and hurt himself, you or others. There is no way to predict. No easy answer for you. And not one person here can dictate to you what is and isn't God's will on the subject.

So essentially there is no valid advice to give, just people's guesses and opinions. And since none Herrera know him and how severe his condition is, and very few if any who answer will have any real training in this area all anyone can give is their best guess.

Be prepared for the onslaught of 'this is demonic' types as well. Those that think all mental illness is demonic and not mental.

 

[Demi777]

Pray pray and pray. A friend of mine got all sorts of menal sicknesses. And when her pupils start dilating from the schizophrenia all that I can say is one thing...Prayer works. Pray for him to wake up, God does not want us to suffer from these things, nor does he call anyone to have it and keep it.
Pray for him to wake up and that he can overcome it. And to the meds..the problem is that he may be fine with them for a while and out of the sudden they backfire.. pray lol Thats all I can say.. Sounds like hes type 1?

 

[workinprogress]

Hey there! I'm new to this forum and I've been going through a couple of threads here and there. The advice you give here feels so positive and I think this would be the best place to discuss my problem too. I've been in love with this guy for about 8 years now and I really want to marry him. He loves me too, but he doesn't want me to get hurt in any way. He is suffering from schizophrenia and he believes that he is never going to be out of it. He believes that, it's something he's meant to be and is never going to change, no matter whatever treatment he takes. Hence, he prefers staying away and keeping people away from him, so that no one gets hurt. But I so much don't wanna stay away from his life. It's just not possible. I believe that when you love a person, you love them completely, with all their flaws and I'm trying my best to convince him for the treatment. I hope I'm doing the right thing. I'm even consulting a doctor about it and he has assured me that things would get better with medication. However, I'm worried about the side effects of these medications. I even found this blog, Risperdal Defective Drug Lawsuits | TheLawfirm.com that talks about the side effects of the medicines prescribed for schizophrenia. Now I'm really confused as to what to do. Is it gods ways to tell me not to force him for the treatment. Or is it just another thing that stopping me from doing the right.

How old is he? Is he a Christian? Is he seeking Gods help? Deliverance from this condition?
Every medicine and herb vitamin has a sideffect - even an Advil causes awful reactions in some and there are people that have died from an Aspirin. So just because someone had a bad experience with a med doesn't mean he will too.
Also can you tell me what kind of a risk your putting yourself into if you are with him? Like physical harm?

 

[Ariel82]

I wouldn't force him or guilt him into taking medicine because some of the meds do have really bad side effects.

Prayer, discernment, logic, more prayer. He has to learn to train his mind to distinguish between reality that everyone can see and what only he and his mind can perceive.

 

[AmmaBev]

I would say to try and get the schizophrenia manageable with a drug and continue to speak with his doctor and him about the way it works for him and how it can help. You have known him for 8 years now and that seems long enough to see him in all different kinds of circumstances. It doesn't sound like your boyfriend is convinced at this time though. Another person to speak with is a pastor. If you don't have a church, please find one and get the Pastor's wisdom. Here is an article to help you:: http://bit.ly/2hNPwBg AmmaBev

 

[Depleted]

Hey there! I'm new to this forum and I've been going through a couple of threads here and there. The advice you give here feels so positive and I think this would be the best place to discuss my problem too. I've been in love with this guy for about 8 years now and I really want to marry him. He loves me too, but he doesn't want me to get hurt in any way. He is suffering from schizophrenia and he believes that he is never going to be out of it. He believes that, it's something he's meant to be and is never going to change, no matter whatever treatment he takes. Hence, he prefers staying away and keeping people away from him, so that no one gets hurt. But I so much don't wanna stay away from his life. It's just not possible. I believe that when you love a person, you love them completely, with all their flaws and I'm trying my best to convince him for the treatment. I hope I'm doing the right thing. I'm even consulting a doctor about it and he has assured me that things would get better with medication. However, I'm worried about the side effects of these medications. I even found this blog, Risperdal Defective Drug Lawsuits | TheLawfirm.com that talks about the side effects of the medicines prescribed for schizophrenia. Now I'm really confused as to what to do. Is it gods ways to tell me not to force him for the treatment. Or is it just another thing that stopping me from doing the right.

Honestly? I'd be no good for someone with schizophrenia. I don't have the heart for it.

BUT, since you say you accept him as is, why are you looking into getting him on meds and law firms? He's not into taking the meds, and no amount of coaxing will get him there. Is it truly fine with you that he is all of whom he is? Or are you spending lots of time trying to figure a way out for him instead? Except a miracle, this is who he will be for the rest of his life. Schizophrenia doesn't go away.

If the former, you've got problems, because he's not okay with you being with him. Maybe over time you can convince him, but how much time are you willing to give? From your age, it's obviously the only boyfriend that meant something to you.

If the latter, move on. Because you don't like him as much as you like who you think you can make him become.

There's a rule of thumb from my youth: If you've gone with a guy for 7 years and you're not married, you will never be married to him. Move on.

It's a good rule, except I don't know if that changes with someone who is schizophrenia. I can tell you my husband didn't trust me not to cheat on him for the first 30 years of our marriage. (His first wife cheated.) I had the patience to wait for him to get over it, because I knew I wasn't ever going to cheat on him, and because he did marry me. No way would I wait around for 30 years if he wouldn't even marry me. How long will you wait?

 

[tourist]

I think that you will be putting a lot on your plate if you marry this guy but I do respect your dedication in sticking by him. I would insist that he try the medicine prescribed for his condition. All medications have possible side effects that doesn't mean that these will happen. I agree that this is a good site to discuss this problem and any other areas of your life that you want to discuss. Hopefully, you will find support and understanding here. Glad to have you join us. Welcome to CC.